ApexNomad

When I look for providers, I admit I usually prefer men who are taller and bigger than me. I reach out to a provider because I want to feel protected and safe for various reasons—not the least of which is that my job is really demanding and stressful, and honestly, I often feel alone. I tend to get that sense of security from men with a larger frame or body mass; that’s just my preference. I’ve also been with men who had huge cocks, but it often hurt—not because of size alone, but because they weren’t attentive or skilled as a top. For me, dick size doesn’t matter—what really counts is that the provider is engaged, present, and not detached. A lack of connection is a total turn-off. There’s a premium in life for being attractive; it just is what it is. And in gay culture, having a huge dick can open doors and get you further than most. However, I believe looks fade over time, and I’ve found that the most meaningful and memorable experiences come from moments where true human connections are formed. When I’m not hiring, when I’m in a serious relationship, I find that the “whole package” encompasses the qualities a man brings to the table—his personality, values, kindness, and how we connect on a deeper level. (I still like men who are a little bigger than me.) LOL I love smiles; there’s just something incredibly attractive about a genuine personality in a man. You’d be surprised by the number of men who have an aversion to smiling. When someone’s smile reflects their true self and warmth, it’s incredibly appealing. That kind of authenticity stands out to me far more than just physical attributes—it creates an instant and lasting connection.

Unless you’re wearing Drakkar Noir, you’re not a gay repellant! 😊 Not every gay person finds themselves in the typical social circles or ‘gay packs’ often associated with the LGBTQ+ community. Everyone’s experience is different. Being out doesn’t necessarily mean gravitating toward certain spaces or groups—some people don’t feel connected to the club or sauna culture, etc. and that’s okay. What you’re describing sounds like more of a personal preference in how you connect with others. It’s important to find the types of friendships that feel authentic to you, regardless of whether they align with the more common social experiences of other gay men. Have you found spaces where you can relate to people on a deeper level, outside of just sexuality—like shared hobbies, work, volunteer groups, or even online communities focused on things you’re passionate about? It’s about finding what feels comfortable and meaningful for you.

Love this song.

Animal eyes see past everything, right into the truth of who you are, without judgment or pretense.

Where I take offense is with this elaborate ruse on your part to mislead clients, take their money, and compromise their safety. I’m new to Company of Men, and the moderators will easily verify that. They’ll also see the pattern in your behavior and your multitude of accounts. So, thank you for bringing their attention to this thread—it’ll only make their job easier in sorting things out.

I thought I was God? Isn’t that what you called me? Or was it your other profile name? Hard to keep track. I’m also ready for the avalanche of accounts from SD_Exec, Arab, Atyla, ZackZack or JackJack to rain down on me. Do me a favor and tell BWC to add more than one muscle arm photo to his RM page - clearly someone that good looking and in shape could show more than one photo while still maintaining privacy.

Mine was the money-back guarantee. Never happens. Doesn’t happen. Period. And that’s the most unrealistic travel schedule for a med student with a model body, who’s also escorting on the side! Medical school is notoriously demanding, with little flexibility for long trips, especially international ones. Even if someone could somehow pull it off with meticulous planning, the reality is that the workload, clinical hours, and study demands make frequent travel like this extremely difficult. I went to law school and had no life for 3 years!! Went nowhere!

https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/erectile-dysfunction/trimix-injections-erectile-dysfunction

You’re right—we don’t always have control over that. I travel a lot, so most of my appointments tend to be outcall/hotel. As for rates based on stats, I don’t know. You want to believe deep down that it shouldn’t matter, and these are professionals, so as long as you’re nice and clean, it should be fine. I’m hiring them, so there’s something about them they already know they’re my type. Over the years, what I do know is this: it’s almost always worked for me, and based on talks—three things: First, showing up!! If you show up, a provider already loves you. It shows that you were serious in the communication, they’re going to get paid, and it happened! That’s more than half the battle. Second, smile! For me, I smile. A lot! Part nerves, part I’m genuinely happy to see them, part I’m excited. Providers have told me many times they really like that and it helps set a positive tone for the session. I’m respectful and not a dbag. Third, I’m clean! Top to bottom, I’m thoroughly clean. I take this up a notch because it makes ME calm and helps ME relax. I’m really able to focus on them and the experience, not wondering whether my breath stinks or if I’m ripe.

A larger top, for me, exudes a dominant and protective energy that’s hard to match. There’s something deeply satisfying in the mix of strength and security, creating a dynamic that’s not just physical but emotional too. It makes the experience richer and more meaningful.

If you’re looking for a Dom Daddy in Chicago, William is great!! I’m not into BDSM, but you can ask him. Your experience is really important to him and he really aims to please. Good luck! https://rent.men/WilliamEricson

Boeing announced today it’s cutting 10% of its workforce, or about 17,000 employees.

Ask him. I don’t think it means you need to pay for his Trimix. You’re already shelling out for him to show up ready to go! If the latter, personally, I wouldn’t want to get into the habit of buying injectables for my penis from a provider—talk about mixing business with pleasure!

I have the same expectations. When they arrive not quite right, I’ll try a few different ways to make it work because I’ve made arrangements, and it’s my time and money too. I can tolerate a lot and will do what it takes to ensure we’re both comfortable and maintain that connection. But if the provider isn’t engaged or present or doesn’t make me the center of his attention (as he is to me!), I’m done. That’s my dealbreaker. I can’t go back from that.

It’s all about the guy and the moment. I love some musk and sweat during sex; it adds to the heat! 😉

That’s great that you give pointers! I’m a man of a certain age—could you share what supplements you recommend? I might add them to what I’m already taking. Thanks!

As someone else mentioned, it’s your choice, but I’ve heard the same concerns about numbing creams like Anal-Eze. The risk is they can mask pain, which is your body’s way of telling you to slow down or stop. It’s really important to listen to your body, go slow, use lots of lube, and gradually increase toy sizes. It’s as much mental as physical—breathing exercises and relaxation techniques can also help. And if you go the partner route, a truly skilled top will help you relax and open up with very minimal discomfort.

A lot of the top providers I’ve met actually admit in private that they’re vers or even prefer bottoming, but for work, topping is just easier. It allows them to schedule multiple appointments in a day without the extra prep and planning that comes with bottoming. Being a bottom provider is more challenging logistically—there’s a lot more involved than just showing up.

Very true! When I ask a provider to shower, I usually offer to join them, and they seem to enjoy that—it’s said with and always met with a smile. They might think it’s overkill since my hair is usually still damp from showering before they arrive, but I want us to feel comfortable.

I’ve been hiring providers for a long time. Back when I booked my first escort, I actually spoke to him over the phone. I was nervous and probably mentioned my inexperience in hiring an escort compared to his expertise. But we spoke and he could probably already tell in my voice. Regarding your point about #6, many providers on RM advertise that they welcome first-timers. Since everything is now done so quickly over text, do you think it’s better for first-timers to avoid mentioning their inexperience upfront? Would you prefer they bring it up after booking, or do you think it’s a red flag no matter when they mention it?

First off, I’m really sorry for your loss. It’s incredible that you’re ready to put yourself out there again, especially after 39 years! Times have definitely changed since the landline days, but the good news is, the basics still hold: be genuine, be yourself, and ask someone out in a way that feels natural to you. If you’re comfortable texting, that’s usually the go-to now. But honestly, a phone call can be a nice change of pace, especially for a meaningful connection—some guys will appreciate the old-school charm. Just maybe skip the bathroom stall idea unless you’re really aiming for that ’80s nostalgia! As for Grindr, it’s great for quick connections, but if you’re looking for more than a hookup, try mixing it up with apps like Hinge, Scruff or Tinder. At the end of the day, don’t feel pressured to follow any set rules—do what feels right, and trust your instincts. Welcome back to the dating world, and good luck!

The hygiene issue amazes me. For some, this isn’t cheap. Do you encounter this issue often with your clients? As a top, is it douching mostly or just all-around basic hygiene: oral, clothes, body odor? I’ve only had a couple of poor hygiene issues with providers themselves - half of them who knew right away when they arrived and asked if they could shower. Only a few were oblivious and I asked them to shower and brush their teeth (I bring spare tooth brushes).

Be safe! 🙏