ApexNomad

For men, especially in gay culture, it’s often the endowment that becomes the hang-up. But you reach an age where you stop giving a shit about any of your insecurities—and that’s where real confidence begins.

Except I don’t lease my cars—I own them outright. 😉

The whole sugar daddy thing cracks me up. At that point, why not just go all in? Let’s be a couple! Screw it! We could start planning our retirement together—I’ll handle the bingo cards, and he can bring the energy drinks! The transactional vibe of sugar daddy relationships feels a bit too clinical for me; it’s like taking the client/escort dynamic and just slapping a “relationship” label on it. If we’re both getting what we want, let’s make it real instead of keeping it transactional!

You make a great point about the timing and long-term implications of insurance. For businesses, self-insuring or joining pools makes sense, especially with a three-year breakeven. For homeowners, especially in high-risk areas, the costs can feel disproportionate to the benefits, especially if you won’t be in the home long enough to see a return on investment. With inflation affecting home values and payouts, it adds another layer of complexity. Ultimately, it’s about balancing peace of mind with financial reality.

You may just want to hire an escort at that point, unless there’s a massage component that only a trained masseur can bring. But from what you’re describing, an escort seems better suited. Literally say what you just wrote.

We still love you!

Thanks. I don’t see the submit vote box. Am I not allowed to vote because I’m still considered a newbie? The hand icon feels like a scarlet letter.

Profile expired.

Such a helpful bunch. 😄 Maybe a moderator can direct me then on how to send in my mail-in ballot for this all important enema vote.

How do you vote?

I do. For peace of mind. I take care of myself: workout, supplements, diet, the whole routine - I’m sure it’s overkill, but it’s more mental for me. Frankly, some of these providers are also huge! I do it also an insurance policy.

Calling me “piggy” is where I draw the line. I do like calling my tops “Beasts” though.

I think the younger generation, because they grew up with the internet, they are so inundated with all these unrealistic body standards. They’re constantly bombarded with hyper-edited images that make anyone feel self-conscious. And the kind of porn that’s available to them now is so different from what we had growing up—it’s everywhere, and it sets this crazy standard that can make people feel they need to look a certain way. I also think a lot of straight guys—though definitely not all—seem to feel like they have to appear ‘masculine’ 24/7. If they even glance at another man’s body, they’re suddenly ‘gay’ or something, and that’s a big deal to them. Sad.

Not sure which reply you’re referring to, but just to clarify, my response to you was aimed at understanding your perspective, especially as someone speaking as a prospective client who occasionally visits your side of the pond. Thanks for clarifying—now I know where you stand.

Calling them “control freaks” is generous—they sound like major time-wasters. In the end, it’s better for you; they’re clearly not worth your time. Unfortunately, it does waste your energy, but I guess that’s part of the business. You have to treat each prospective client as genuine and legit, because you never know who actually is. Or maybe they block because they realize they can’t handle all of your dick. 😂

That’s a really interesting perspective, especially when you factor in the coastal areas where land value typically dominates. I wonder if there’s also a balance between the cost of premiums and self-insuring that people consider, especially for those with enough assets. It’s one thing to go bare because you can afford to rebuild, but I imagine there’s also a strategic component, where some may prefer to invest what they would spend on insurance premiums elsewhere, betting the risk is worth it. It all seems to come down to how comfortable someone is with the level of risk they’re willing to carry.

Got it.

You choose not to wear condoms when you top. Am I understanding your next sentence correctly that if your client asks you to wear a condom before topping them, then it doesn’t go ahead? Raw is the law?

Also important when saying someone assaulted you to point out they were also cute.

Chilean Sea Bass my ass!! There will always be goldfish dammit.

As an older man, I can say I’ve never crossed that line with my inner circle of friends, which includes both gay and straight guys. Even with men I’ve gone on dates with, we usually knew within about 10 minutes that it wasn’t going to lead to sex. Many of them have become friends—not my closest, but still good friends. With the free platforms, it really is a jungle out there. I’d suggest lowering all expectations when it comes to those. I’m curious though, what do you think the “majority” of men are actually looking for? If you’re getting blocked, it feels like there’s little hope for the rest of us. To be blunt, you’re a tall top with a big dick—seems like that would please 95% of the bottoms out there!

If you’ve been doing this for a while, you should know what works and what doesn’t when engaging with a provider. If you’re ever in doubt, just ask them to hop on a call for a few minutes. I’m a big believer in a quick call or FaceTime. Shows you’re real. Serious. You can lock down the appointment right there. Worrying about a few words here and there is ridiculous. If a provider is ghosting you because you said a couple of things wrong, move on. Their loss. Any provider who won’t meet you in the middle isn’t worth your time. It’s your money, and you should feel comfortable knowing what to expect. When it comes to massages, I go in with zero expectations. Maybe that’s not the best mindset, but the planning and expectations are much different for me compared to hiring an escort. My needs are different. The layout is typically different and the cost is typically less, too. Allow yourself the freedom to let the masseur guide things a bit more in this space and see what happens.

When you mention a “certain type” of guys, are you referring to specific behaviors you’ve noticed on these platforms, or is there more to it?