ApexNomad

I have the same expectations. When they arrive not quite right, I’ll try a few different ways to make it work because I’ve made arrangements, and it’s my time and money too. I can tolerate a lot and will do what it takes to ensure we’re both comfortable and maintain that connection. But if the provider isn’t engaged or present or doesn’t make me the center of his attention (as he is to me!), I’m done. That’s my dealbreaker. I can’t go back from that.

It’s all about the guy and the moment. I love some musk and sweat during sex; it adds to the heat! 😉

That’s great that you give pointers! I’m a man of a certain age—could you share what supplements you recommend? I might add them to what I’m already taking. Thanks!

As someone else mentioned, it’s your choice, but I’ve heard the same concerns about numbing creams like Anal-Eze. The risk is they can mask pain, which is your body’s way of telling you to slow down or stop. It’s really important to listen to your body, go slow, use lots of lube, and gradually increase toy sizes. It’s as much mental as physical—breathing exercises and relaxation techniques can also help. And if you go the partner route, a truly skilled top will help you relax and open up with very minimal discomfort.

A lot of the top providers I’ve met actually admit in private that they’re vers or even prefer bottoming, but for work, topping is just easier. It allows them to schedule multiple appointments in a day without the extra prep and planning that comes with bottoming. Being a bottom provider is more challenging logistically—there’s a lot more involved than just showing up.

Very true! When I ask a provider to shower, I usually offer to join them, and they seem to enjoy that—it’s said with and always met with a smile. They might think it’s overkill since my hair is usually still damp from showering before they arrive, but I want us to feel comfortable.

I’ve been hiring providers for a long time. Back when I booked my first escort, I actually spoke to him over the phone. I was nervous and probably mentioned my inexperience in hiring an escort compared to his expertise. But we spoke and he could probably already tell in my voice. Regarding your point about #6, many providers on RM advertise that they welcome first-timers. Since everything is now done so quickly over text, do you think it’s better for first-timers to avoid mentioning their inexperience upfront? Would you prefer they bring it up after booking, or do you think it’s a red flag no matter when they mention it?

First off, I’m really sorry for your loss. It’s incredible that you’re ready to put yourself out there again, especially after 39 years! Times have definitely changed since the landline days, but the good news is, the basics still hold: be genuine, be yourself, and ask someone out in a way that feels natural to you. If you’re comfortable texting, that’s usually the go-to now. But honestly, a phone call can be a nice change of pace, especially for a meaningful connection—some guys will appreciate the old-school charm. Just maybe skip the bathroom stall idea unless you’re really aiming for that ’80s nostalgia! As for Grindr, it’s great for quick connections, but if you’re looking for more than a hookup, try mixing it up with apps like Hinge, Scruff or Tinder. At the end of the day, don’t feel pressured to follow any set rules—do what feels right, and trust your instincts. Welcome back to the dating world, and good luck!

The hygiene issue amazes me. For some, this isn’t cheap. Do you encounter this issue often with your clients? As a top, is it douching mostly or just all-around basic hygiene: oral, clothes, body odor? I’ve only had a couple of poor hygiene issues with providers themselves - half of them who knew right away when they arrived and asked if they could shower. Only a few were oblivious and I asked them to shower and brush their teeth (I bring spare tooth brushes).

Be safe! 🙏

ALL lights will now be dimmed for Creel (and for Bailey and Smith too). About time! 👏 https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lifestyle/arts/broadway-dim-all-theater-lights-gavin-creel-maggie-smith-adrian-bailey-after-outcry-1236028707/

I never said I’m God—if I were, I’d be out here performing miracles instead of debating refund policies for orgasms! And just to clarify, I never called him a liar. My point is that while some providers might offer money-back guarantees, intimacy is subjective. You can’t just say, ‘Oops, didn’t get to three orgasms, can I have my money back?’ That’s like returning a toaster because it didn’t make the perfect toast! I’m actually defending BWC here. Just because you didn’t hit multiple orgasms or taken to “new heights” doesn’t mean you’re entitled to a refund, IMO. But if you think you are, then maybe you’re right… maybe you are entitled! If you’re comfortable asking for it, more power to you! I just think it’s unrealistic. The provider puts in time and effort, and treating an intimate experience like a product return feels la la land to me. Even the worst providers still get their money from me in full!

I hear you, and it’s great you trust the reviews, and I hope you have an amazing time!! A ‘money-back guarantee’ on something as subjective as pleasure is tricky. Everyone’s body is different, and no provider can promise to take you to ‘new heights.’ If he delivers, great—but expecting a refund as you put it if it doesn’t blow your mind seems unfair to HIM. And honestly, how would that even go? ‘Hey, I didn’t orgasm three times, can I get a refund?’ It’s awkward and feels off. He’s still offering a service. Pleasure is personal, and no provider can guarantee you’ll hit some magic number of orgasms. Expecting a refund because it didn’t go exactly as planned feels super weird to me. It’s not like you’re returning a faulty product—it’s an intimate experience.

I have no skin in the game here. Never met the guy, never reached out. I hope he’s everything you want him to be and you have an amazing time and experience. But under no circumstances are you getting your money back. Shit like that just doesn’t happen.

My interest is piqued too! Nice profile!

Every provider has their own business model and challenges; clearly, not all operate the same way. I hired a NYC provider who charged $500 for a two-hour minimum and only did outcalls for first appointments. I even had to pay his Uber to my hotel, despite both being in Midtown. It’s amusing how some providers expect clients to cover their travel costs when they’re literally in walking distance, yet they can be just as high maintenance as clients.

I wouldn’t even be upset that he shat on my cock—what would really get me is him saying ‘oopsie.’ So when my jizz hits you in the eye—‘oopsie.’

It is indeed impressive!

If he sent me pics of his dick like that and a slow motion vid, I think I’d be hooked too. 😂 In all seriousness, how so? How did he get into your head so quickly?

I think it’s great that you’re helping him build something he’s genuinely passionate about. Wishing you both much happiness and the best with the new venture!

Nice time. He’s got a firm, squeezable ass—perfect for when he’s on top. His thick, beautiful cock is rock hard, and he’s fully present the whole time. The sheer size of him on top of you or wrapped in his arms is just pure bliss. No judgment, but I do think he’s married. He took off his wedding ring before we got busy. That could’ve been a mood killer, but once he dropped his pants and started kissing me, I suddenly developed a very short attention span!

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I’m left guessing. If he has “ask me” boxes for position, orientation, or safety, just list it instead of making me assume. If he can list over 34 things he’s into, he can handle the basics. And if you’re on the fence about meeting now, less than 24 hours before a meet up, at least have the courtesy to cancel now in advance so the guy has a chance to rebook with someone else. One of the worst things is a last-minute cancellation without a valid reason.

There are many reasons why individuals choose to become escorts, and motivations vary depending on personal circumstances: financial independence and earning potential; autonomy and control over their schedule and clients; escaping economic hardship and covering significant expenses; a sense of empowerment through their work; freedom to explore and express their sexuality; the power that comes from seeing someone salivate and worship their body; or simply as a temporary solution while pursuing other goals. But at the end of the day, like most things, it all comes down to money. They do it for the money. Like any job, if you ask someone whether they’d do it for free, the answer is no. I had an escort open up to me and share that the impact on his mental health was becoming too much. The emotional labor involved, combined with societal stigma, led to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Despite the significant toll it took on his well-being, he continued in the profession because, as he put it, “the money is too fucking good.”

I only know I’m paying a different rate for some providers based on numbers I’ve seen here for the same provider. Couldn’t tell you why: Frequency? Appearance? Reliable? Clean? Years? I don’t know.