Decatur Guy

Maybe this will all catch up to me at any minute. But as of 4 p.m. ET Monday, I can still see full frontal in public pics. Private pics are still a thing in some profiles. And I can access videos. I'm on a premium membership at $19.95 (which is a recent big increase; I've also had an issue a couple of times with the credit card not going through). And please don't shout at me in boldfaced, enlarged type. I'm just reporting what I can see at the current time and what has been happening in my account. I'm not responsible for these decisions, the mess ups at RM or anyone's frustrations over them happening. Perhaps by tomorrow, it will be different on my screen. It's hardly the first time in the history of the internet that different people in different places on different browsers and on different plans see different things.

One silver lining to this: Maybe it will force some providers to have more thoughtful and informative write-ups instead dashing off a couple of lines and then posting some pictures. I know this is a very visual market, but I value what a provider has to say equally with what he looks like. And I value the general photos as much as the nude ones. I realize I am most likely in the minority on that. I pay the premium membership, so I've noticed no changes. And I posted a review last week with no issue.

Given he has only four reviews, it's probably a long shot anyone has met up with EmilioCGR. But if you have, do you have any intel/recommendations you're willing to share? I'm drawn to him, but something I can't quite put my finger on is holding me back a little, too. Maybe it's the multitude of pictures in pretty much the same pose and with sunglasses? I just don't know. EMILIOCGR - Pornstar Performer, Rentboy, Gay Massage in Atlanta, GA | RentMen RENTMEN.EU Pornstar Performer & Rentboy in Atlanta, GA - EMILIOCGR: EMILIOCGR

I'd play a $100 "fame premium" for someone I really liked. That's about my limit though. I've learned through experience the "fame" factor can disappoint and the "unknown" factor can delightfully surprise. I've thought about contacting him before but honestly figured he'd ask more than that and never reached out.

That's not so bad given the typical going rate is $300 to $350 these days.

In particular, I'll pass on anyone with a bizarre name such as "ItWillHurt" or "AssDestroyer" or "Bedroom Bully" or "Your King." I'm all for the right dominant, Alpha type, but please.

I'm curious about him too

While physical appearance matters to me, it's not the most important thing. I care more about the vibe, the scenario and what they're doing. Plus, I find a pretty wide variety of types attractive. I'm not hooked on a particular body shape or younger/older or one particular ethnicity, etc. So I'm all for porn casting a wider net. My ideal porno scene: Two masculine, verbal tops talking a shy, reluctant bottom into having sex and then pushing his limits. And if they happen to be "average Joes" vs. model looks, that's fine.

Helping your mom through an illness is tough and commendable. Been there. Good vibes to both of you.

I've actually hired a few times without ever seeing a face. It's never gone badly. I've even wore a blindfold (my idea) a couple of times. Once, that didn't turn out to be a good idea. The other time, it was hot.

Usually, if a first meeting doesn't go that well, I don't request a second meeting. However, there are exceptions. Sometimes, the meet-up was on the fence -- not as well as I hoped but still an OK time. And I'm especially prone to request a second meeting if I know I wasn't bringing my A-game that night. My very first meet-up with a provider didn't go well at all. But I rehired him a year later anyway because I felt like the disappointment was on me, not on him. Second time was much better. And I got one last chance before he retired, and it was off the charts great. More often, the scenario is I think the first meet-up went well, but I never get to arrange a second one because it was a guy traveling through and he didn't come back or he entered and exited the business in quick order or I happened to catch up near the end of his time in business. For every provider I wouldn't see again, and I think of two I would see again and haven't had the chance. (Looking at you Scott DeMarco).

Part of my inner motive in bringing this up is I'm not a good looking guy but I am very sexual. I've often wondered if I would have done that kind of work if I had the looks. Let's face it -- you can have all the other needed attributes, but if you don't have the right looks, the rest doesn't matter. It has to be the whole package. I'm wondering what my "standards" would be if I been better looking. I think I still could crossed that hurdle. Because I do indeed see the attractiveness in a wide variety of people. I'm not sure I could have overcome the fear of arrest, etc. And then my prime time for this would have been the 1980s, and there were a host of problems that decade.

I agree. Because if typical good looks (and I realize tastes vary widely) were the main entry point, more people would be doing it. I wish some of these men would give a whirl though!

I commute through a college campus to work and I generally see no fewer than a dozen each day who would make a killing as providers. It makes me wonder why there aren't actually more guys doing this line of work. I realize that the vast majority of guys are straight and probably just couldn't go our way. Then there are the few straight guys, bi guys and gay guys who can, but just don't want to for various reasons: Their personal morality code, fear of the law or of diseases or both -- and most likely of all, they just can't get into the client base (generally older and not as good looking) enough to get aroused and give it a go. Straight or gay or in between, really good looking people tend to go for each other. But even accounting for all those hurdles, you'd think more of these guys would want to give it whirl, at least in the "you-can-service-me" sector. For every hot guy who would even try it, I bet there are 999 who wouldn't. I guess it really takes a special person to be a successful, long-term provider. No wonder they command premium money when you think about it. They do something few people can do or are willing to do. But based on just physical attributes, there are a ton of hot guys who could fill the bill if they wanted to.

I'd be wary. Seems like he's not even sure what he's offering or about. Ad has almost no info.

I prefer regulars as well. Not only for ease of communication but also for enhanced experience. However there's a certain amount of texting that even regulars have to do: establishment of time. And I find even my regulars need address reminders in a large city.

LOL. I'd imagine that's a typical scenario for most of us in an all-text exchange with a first-time provider. I'd prefer a phone call the first time. But a lot of younger people especially don't like to talk on the phone in any circumstance. To me, it's a great way to settle most of the details. And then I'll always text the address and parking details. But if a provider doesn't want to ever speak, then I don't know how to avoid the scenario above. Everything in there is something you need to know before meeting. I don't understand how the folks who categorize that as "endless texting" ever manage to meet with anyone.

AMEN!

On a first meeting with no phone call? Yes sir it takes some texts: 1. Hello. Is this John Doe? I got your number off your online advertisement. [I do not launch into anything until I confirm I've got the right number and right person] reply / if he affirms I have the right number ... 3. Oh good. Glad it's you. Hope you're doing well today. Great ad and pics. Can you share with me your in and out rates? reply / if the rates are within my range ... 5. Thank you. I can swing that rate of $ ______. My schedule is free tonight after 7. Would you happen to be free? I know it's short notice, but just in case ... reply / he says he's not free tonight but is tomorrow night. 7. Oh, that will work, too. I prefer to host but I can also travel. I see you're visiting. What general area are you located in? I'm downtown. reply / says where he's located and says he can travel. 9. Oh good! You're staying just a couple of miles from me. I am located across the street from _______ (well-known landmark) if you're familiar with that. reply / says he is 11. Are you cool with receiving oral and topping? And a one-hour session? That's generally what I do first meeting. (I try to keep the sexual down to a bare minimum but I at least want to establish this much if we're not going to talk on the phone. Ads don't always reflect accurate expectations.) reply / Says yes, loves both. One hour good. 13. Great. Here's my exact address. ______________. I'll need to come down to let you into the building. reply / He asks about parking 15 and 16. I reply with parking details, which are complicated where I live, so two texts on that. If I expect a bad parking situation, I may generally propose Uber and offer to pay for it. reply / confirming he's got parking details and how to get to door of apartment building. 18. "Wonderful. I'll see you at 7 tomorrow night at ___________. I'll check in tomorrow afternoon to reconfirm appt." reply / thanks me. NEXT DAY SIX HOURS AHEAD OF APPT. 20. Hey. It's _______ from yesterday. Just wanted you to know I'm still on for meeting at 7 tonight at __________ (my address). I have condoms and lube but feel free to bring your own if you prefer. Are you OK with poppers being here? reply / He's still on too and OK with poppers. 22. Please let me know when you're on your way and then just before you arrive so I can go down to let you in. reply / OK 20 MINUTES BEFORE APPOINTMENT 23. "Hey. OTW." 24. Great. When you're close, let me know again. I'll be standing in front of the door in a blue T-shirt, gray shorts and I have short gray hair. 25. Got it. 30 MINUTES LATER, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE ALMOST ALWAYS LATE OR GET LOST. 26. Five minutes out. 27. Great. I'll be down to meet you. ON SIDEWALK 28. Hey ... I see you. And then I see guy approaching me half a block away. 29. That's me. And I walk up to greet him. And thus ends the texting. That took almost 30 texts between us and that was each exchange moving the conversation forward with no hiccups. I see nothing unreasonable about this at all. A lot of that could be bypassed in a phone call. But if someone wants to meet me for the first time at my inner city apartment building, this is almost the MINIMUM number of texts it takes to establish that I: A) Have right number and person B) Learn the rates and can pay them C) Establish time to meet D) Establish where to meet E) Get/give details on how to get there or him coming here F) A very brief exchange on what to expect (ads don't always cover it all) G) Supplies and poppers situation H) Confirmations Every single one of those items are important to a successful meet up. And you must first establish some points before getting to others. I'm not giving out my address and parking intel before I confirm rates, time and place. Now after the first meeting, you can eliminate at least half of those. If someone finds all that too much, that someone can pick up the phone and talk or find a less reliable, less detailed client. Skipping any information above for the sake of text brevity is what leads to all the posts on here about complaining about people being lost, being really late, sending bad directions, misunderstandings about payments, misunderstandings about offerings and expectations. I'd rather err on the side of over communicating than under communicating. If a first-time provider doesn't want to establish some of these things on a phone call (which I vastly prefer as it takes so much less time and establishes chemistry) and finds that many texts too tedious, then we wouldn't have been a good match. Tell me, how would you connect for the first time on text with a new provider who won't take phone calls and condense that necessary information down to fewer texts? Which points of information would you leave out?

Never been with him, but I'd definitely try a spin with him even though his screen name is rather off-putting. Why can't these guys come up with actual names as at least part of their online name?

Don't want 20 or 25 texts for a first-time connection? Let's talk on the phone for five minutes. That will speed things along -- and help establish chemistry. I'm not sure what constitutes "endless texting," but I can't get that all that wrapped up in a few back and forths. A lot of younger providers in particular undercommunicate. If someone is going beyond 20 to 25 texts, yeah -- increasingly that's a sign they are stringing you along. Personally, I hate texting beyond a few back and forths. But so many providers are INSISTENT on only texting. If a provider insists on texting, and it's our first time, get ready for more than a few texts or get ready to lose a new client. Even a well-written ad can't cover all the things that need to be nailed down: Time to meet, where to meet, potential parking instructions, who has the lube/condoms (or not), what I look like, confirmation I'm keeping appointment, confirmation I'm on the way, etc. And yes, a little bit about expectations on what we both enjoy. A list on RM doesn't always cover it all in one fell swoop. Rimming. What does that mean? Give or get or both? See what I mean?

I'm thinking of retiring to a quieter, less expensive place. But one drawback is being away from a good hiring area. Although I'm not sure that alone would stop me. But it is a checkmark in the "con" column.

Nothing beats one to three good go-to guys.

There's nothing wrong in raising your rates. These are inflationary times. Just know that some clients -- current or prospective -- may be in jobs or situations where they haven't gotten raises at the percentage you might be raising your rates. You might price yourself out of reach of some people. For instance, I've gotten one raise since 2017. For various valid reasons, I've stayed in the job anyway. I've seen the average provider rate go from about $250 an hour to $350 an hour in my area in just the past few years. That's 40%. Meanwhile, my one-time raise in six years was 28% about a year ago. Naturally, I've had to curtail and turn down people who quote $400 or more or even $350 an hour at times. One thing I do is I hire the guy who continues to charge $280 the most often by far. We've never discussed it, but I think he realizes that I'm steadier with the calls because of the lower rate. In general, I think providers (in my area at least) are outpacing others in wage inflation. That's going to sometimes cost providers some business.

Sometimes I scroll through RM providers in New York City, Las Vegas, Miami, Los Angeles or Toronto, and I get "City Envy" for the people who live there. So many great options. But the city I envy the most in London. Man oh man! While London is just a great trip in general, I'd really like to partake of its RM offerings at some point in life. Do you ever get City Envy, and which city or cities do you think has a great slate of providers?