soloyo215

I'm a client. This is just my opinion and view of that. As a client, especially if I see my provider regularly, I should know better than asking for discount, knowing well, (a) the line of work we are talking about, (b) the fact that providers (at least some, I'm sure not all) depend on the service that they provide to make a living, and (c) it's not that the escorting profession has a 401k, health insurance or benefits packages. I am sensitive to the nature of this line of work. Also, I am well aware not to bother calling any provider if I cannot afford him. One of my masseurs, however, offered me a discount for a second session after I had the first. he was actually my very first provider. I didn't see that as a regular, ongoing thing. I saw it for what it was, a one-time offer to build loyalty, just like other businesses do. Also that was not an escort, it was a masseur. I think you are right about it being a slippery slope. Who's to say that he will not continue demanding more discounts, free sessions, or other "perks"? And how do we know that if you do that with just him, that he will keep it quiet? Personally I find that insensitive and somewhat distasteful. This is your business and as a business man, your rates should be respected. We take them, negotiate beforehand, or leave them. But asking for some kind of loyalty discount, doesn't sound right to me.

The problem is: who? Who will they pursue, the client or the provider? Where? Whatever happens falls under what jurisdiction? How? What resources are necessary to entrap whoever in enough amounts to consider it a raid? Law enforcement can and have created fake profiles, but normally it is to entrap people that they are actually identified and pursuing, not to blindly create a mass arrest situation. Yes, you are correct, it's not impossible. However, I do sustain that is improbable, unless there are serious reasons for it, a serial killer, involving minors, proof that some are forced/trafficked into providing services. Also, keep in mind that RM is one of many sites, and it's not even based in the USA. The United Nations has an entire division of cyber attacks and the use of technology for harmful purposes. It's called the United Nations Interregional Crime and Justice Research Institute, which monitors technology for the purposes of crimes, and that include all kinds of illegal activities. I think they are quite busy with terrorism and other more harmful events, other than some John hiring a male escort via RM.

That's actually quite common in the hetero BDSM world. That's a bulk of what many dominatrices do. I know of men who pay the dominatrix to be bossed around while he cleans her apartment, with both mental and physical punishment along the entire event. I'm sure there's the all-men equivalent to that. I think there might be service providers willing to accommodate, the discussion should be about how far they can go with it. I mean, you don't want them to expect you to build a septic tank for them, I imagine.

LOL! I understand your point. And hard to say about where I live, living in what is supposed to be a large city, but seems like it runs like a small town. So in terms of opportunities and availability of services, I guess it fluctuates. Yes, regardless of the number of available choices, what catches my attention is a combination of the pictures and the information in the profile, not just what I see in the pictures. The one that I hired that had no face had information in the profile and reviews that were good, plenty of detailed information that made me feel compelled to give him a try. I did, and it wasn't great, but not because he didn't show his face in the profile. He was very pleasant, personable and friendly. We just didn't have the right chemistry. Also, Personally I do not correlate lack of face pictures with lack of commitment to the trade. First, just like me and my current job, I'm in it for the money and benefits, can't care less about anything else, so I see nothing wrong with detachment from the profession and thinking of it as little as possible. Second, there are many reasons why providers will not include their face. The rest of the profile and reviews, along with the type and quality of pictures is what tells the whole story. I don't think that there's one right or wrong way of approaching this. We just do what we feel comfortable doing.

I'm not inside other people's minds, so this is just a guess and probably based on my own criteria. I'd feel better if I know that I am desirable enough to make a person come. It's part of the satisfaction. That said, to me is not required, as I also understand that providers need to save energy for other clients. However, the act of the provider coming doesn't necessarily satisfy me.

Would you ask for a picture? Maybe you'll get an idea of what or how much he's talking about.

I'm not an escort, but I have to say that I don't like the "you don't get paid" part. Huge red flag, looks like setting things up for a free ride. Something about the tone you describe he's using also seems a little off.

I meant, "what you paid for".

If it's discussed as part of the deal, I'd let him know that he didn't fool me. No need to tell him in a nasty way, but you should expect to get what I pay for.

I agree. Besides, how exactly do you successfully raid a website with membership, providers and clientele from many parts of the world? Personally I don't relate those news to RM, as I know that those events are not even remotely comparable with the use of RM. It is good, however, for us to remember the attitude and the overall views (bias) towards providers. Most importantly, the one thing that we might have in common is being an easy target for conservative political platforms. That's where I see the value of that type of news. In no way, shape of form do I think or feel like "we are next".

I'm not completely sure about that being the case. The issue of human trafficking is a little more complex like that, keeping in mind that the sex trade is only one aspect of it. I am no expert in the matter myself, but I am actually a member of ECPAT, which is more about children than adults, but trafficking and exploitation nonetheless. There's plenty of information about it in USA and other major cities in the world, and it's definitely more than the stereotypical pimp placing girls in corners, motels and truck stops.

Sorry that you had that kind of bad experience with those two. That said, in my experience and opinion, it is less likely that providers will become closer or more personal. It's a protection/safety thing (in my opinion). Many clients and many providers that I have known do have a perception of each other as some kind of "product you buy" and not a person you are hiring, or a "pathetic loser who has to pay", not a person that is paying you. That is a sad reality, and I'd dare to say that historically that has been most of the overall societal perception of people involved in any side of this industry. That's a long way for me to say, that yes, you can get those nasty responses from providers, but also yes, clients can/have treated providers with the same lack of humanity. I've been fortunate to have good experiences with providers, some of which have extended their friendship, but I also know that there are some who are not interested in anything other than the transactional aspect of the event, as polite, personable and friendly as they are with me. The "I will never have respect for you" attitude is more of a projection, in my opinion. Seems like his way of detaching from something that he might feel ashamed of doing. Think of it as men who say "I'm not gay, my boyfriend is".

I noticed, but I didn't know that was an official thing. I am visiting a different country, and I thought it was a restriction in the country I'm currently visiting.

In the early 2000s, I delved into the world of BDSM in the hetero world (I was creating websites for dominatrices in NYC), and something that I learned is that many of the people who play the sub are in fact people who out of it are either Type A personality, people in positions of authority, and/or people who tend to be/take charge. It's just a role that they play. I'd say go for it if it feels right for you to try, but only if it feels right for you to try it. Nothing worse than a person who's bad at being a sub, you don't want to ruin the client's fantasy.

Client here: It think that in my case it's just coincidence that the one and only provider without face pic that I hired wasn't the best experience, so I won't judge based on that one time. I normally prefer seeing a face, but I imagine that some providers might want to keep their identity as private as possible. Also, to me it's not just the face/no-face thing; it's a combination of the pictures and the rest of the profile. I'm actually more suspicious when I see only one picture in the profile, or a low-quality one. I'd consider a no-face profile with the right set of pictures and information.

You are right, I should have asked politely to remove it.

Great point. I'd call that "John shaming", not necessary to having them published, leave alone making comments about how they look. Totally unnecessary, and they are no different than many of us here.

Abusive, loud guests and poor management happen in hotels too. Even unsafe conditions. I've been to hotels that are unsafe and terrible, and they are formal hotels. Furthermore, building owners are the ones converting the long-term rentals into short-term, not allowing their tenants to do it, and no, it's not better (always) managed by the owners. Not allowing AirBnB does not solve any of those nuances.

Depends on who you ask. I think that the term "Star" has become something similar to the term "Expert", "Senior", "Lead", "Coordinator", and others in the corporate world. No one wants to be called "worker", "employee", "performer", "for-hire", or things that apparently place them in a less special (or made-up) place. It's all marketing to me. Personally those titles or characterizations mean very little to me, other than the guy might feel entitled to charge more for a perception of getting some kind of premium service. Just like Airlines now offer economy and "premium economy", which is nothing but that you are called to board before the economy class, giving the feeling that you are getting something extra for paying more.

That is correct. To me that's definitely public relations and/or political theater. I also agree that those being the main force behind those "raids", gay men can also be at risk.

Interesting that the "money up front" thing was a scam towards me, the client. That doesn't remove any risk from any of the parties.

Ugh, yes, definitely a little over the top. Sorry to hear. Thanks for replying.

He should probably put it on a bid.

That's exactly my thought. He's now a celebrity victim.

I used to live in Styvy Town, an apartment complex in the lower east side of Manhattan. When AirBnB started, there were people who started making money renting their rooms instead of having roommates. The management of the complex prohibited AirBnB rentals almost immediately. NYC seems to be obsessed with keeping it to be a city of the rich, so it's no surprise to me that anything that can help people make money will be quelled. I think AirBnB is a good alternative for budget travelers. And in may other cities, it coexists well with the hotel industry without major repercussions. In May this year I rented a hotel room in midtown. I paid for 4 days more than what I pay for any all-inclusive resort for 15 days anywhere else. The room could not be smaller and the facilities more minimized. All I needed was a place to stay, as many people did during that time attending graduations, not interested in using the hotel amenities. AirBnB (actually, there's also a gay-men version, MrBnB) would have been a feasible option. I personally think that both industries can coexist, with regulations on both.