jackcali

There is such a thing as professional jealousy. In my professional career, when a client of mine decided to hire a different professional for work that I thought I could do just as well, I got pissed off. Even if I admitted to myself that his new hire was better suited to that particular assignment, I still got pissed off. His decision affected my feelings toward the client and, at least as far as I was concerned, permanently altered the relationship.

Something similar happened to me. I had a regular who was going to be out of town for a couple of weeks and he suggested that while he was away I should hire his boyfriend, who also escorted. So I did, and had a good time. If the two guys weren't connected, I might have kept with my regular and seen the boyfriend from time to time for a change of pace, but since I was sure they'd know about it I was afraid of the complications that could screw up the good dynamic I had with my regular. I think it would have been much riskier to change horses, so to speak. So I kept seeing the regular and only saw the boyfriend at my regular's suggestion. And of course, though it's not really my thing, they did talk me into seeing them together a couple of times.

Mine is too, but it's difficult to find a provider who wakes up early enough for me to stop by for a session and still get to work at a reasonable hour. For a while I had a regular provider who also had a 9-to-5 job, and we'd meet for a quick session before heading to work. Even if the session itself wasn't, cleaning up and getting ready for the office was about as realistic a BFE as you can get -- including elbowing each other out of the way to see in the bathroom mirror.

Agreed. His size on RM is no more exaggerated than anyone else's. He has a great body, great enthusiasm and a great attitude, but if you're looking for a big dick, you've got the wrong man.

So. lots of shade, but has anyone actually seen him? I'm discounting the review by the poster who created his account just to leave a positive review. Thanks.

In NYC, most bank ATMs dispense 100s, though standalone ATMs in grocery and drug stores only dispense 20s. I usually pay my regular for three sessions in advance to cut down on the need to make withdrawals. One time, I went to get the money to pay him but the ATM didn't have 100s or 50s, so I presented him with a huge stack of 20s. "Just like the old days" was his reaction.

I think this is another effect of social media. In the past, if a provider was lucky enough to find a client paying $1,000 for a few minutes of cursing, he'd devote a lot of time to thinking about how to make him a regular and/or expand the arrangement. (How much for an hour of cursing?) Now, too many of the post it on social media. They think they're taking a victory lap and encouraging more clients with the same interest/fetish, but I'm sure that's a very small market and not a way to build an escort business. After all, I get cursed at for a few minutes most days at the office.

If I'm traveling (which I would be in Toronto), I prefer to host at my hotel. If I'm home here in NYC, I look for providers who can host for the sake of convenience. I also don't want to book a room on dayuse, but I'm happy to reimburse a provider for the booking. My current regular books a room on dayuse for our sessions and his (elevated) fee covers the cost of it. Apart from the added cost, this is as convenient as an in-call.

I regularly saw a provider who had a pretty serious day job that let him WFH a couple of days a week. We would meet at his apartment for an hour or 90 minutes when we were both between business meetings. There was some coordination involved but we rarely had trouble finding a time to meet at least once every week. It worked great for us both.

Before you get annoyed, did you consider whether giving him the exact address made him justifiably reconsider whether an Uber to your area was necessary. I'm not a provider, but living in NYC I'm happy to travel to a distant or dodgy neighborhood if the location is near public transportation, but I'll only take an Uber if it's a long walk from there. I can afford to make that choice, but an escort can burn up a good part of his fee on round trip Ubers to a one- or two-hour appointment.

I think it's particularly common given that you booked him two weeks in advance. I'd wager that many advance-booking appointments from new clients get canceled. He's keeping you engaged and/or hoping that if you are going to cancel, you'll let him know sooner than the day of the appointment. Also, young people live on WhatsApp and other chat platforms and, I imagine, keep dozens of conversations going on at all times, so throwing a "hey, handsome" your way every few days is hardly a burden.

I agree 100% with this. On NYE, I race to hide in my apartment by sundown like a vampire returning to his casket. As a suggestion to the OP, how about looking for an escort who is sober? Some escorts mention that in their profiles. That way, you can avoid hiring a hungover or (worse) still drunk escort on New Year's Day.

Yes, that's true. I figure if the ad is deleted (rather than just expired), the escort has gotten out of the business. I think rent.men leaves expired ads accessible for a long time. While the ad may not turn up in a search, I've been able to see an ad that's been expired for more than a year by clicking on the link in my buddy list.

This is the only reason I can see for sponsoring an expired ad. It can be frustrating when I've looked at a provider's ad a couple of times and/or read positive reviews of him on this platform to try to reach out only to find that the ad's expired and there's no way to contact the provider. I've gotten in the habit of putting escorts that have caught my eye on my RM buddy list and copied their phone number into the notes section. Then, if their ad is expired when I'm ready to reach out, I send a G-rated text saying "I saw your ad is expired but are you still available?" Okay, so it's not particularly G-rated if you read between the lines . . .

In terms of how to say goodbye, I have a few suggestions. First, do it in a phone call rather than by text/email or by ghosting. The relationship has been significant enough for you (and likely for him, given the money involved) that it deserves a conversation, even an unpleasant one. Second, just say that the relationship has run its course, that you're no longer getting what you hoped for out of the arrangement and, as much as you like him personally, it's time for it to end. Do NOT go through your complaints/disappointments/criticisms about what's not been right. You've already explained those to him. If he addresses those criticisms again (blaming you, for example), either say that it's not anybody's fault or say that maybe it is you or just say it's too late to address any issues. One last suggestion. It sounds like this guy has made a lot of money off of you in the last year and I'm sure he's thinking about that loss of income. When I've ended things with years-long hires, I tend to give them a farewell gift of some size to soften the blow. You might consider that. If you do, mention it early because if he's thinking financially, he will keep the conversation civil in order not to lose that gift. I'm sorry it's come to this, but I am glad you are resolved to end it (I've wasted a lot of time with regular escorts even after the arrangement has become unsatisfying). I wish you luck.