nate_sf

Welcome @PrettyboyJake to the forum!
 
You're right, screening with male escorts is much different than female escorts, from my understanding.
 
From my experience as a (cis) male escort seeing male clients, the screening is done through the communications and is not usually formal. But each guy has a way about it, trying to establish a comfort level through the communications and looking for red flags along the way. It's based on a lot of intuition and with practice and experience you start to see patterns of where things might go sideways.
 
From my advice, the basic questions that need to be asked and answered to set up an appointment are a variation of the old journalistic rule of thumb of answering who, what, when, where, and how. The goal is to get those figured out to a degree of comfort and certainty, and look for any trouble along the way. Who will you be meeting, where will you meet, what will you be doing together (at least a general direction), and how will you confirm the appointment. You may not be able to get everything answered, particularly the what if either side is being cautious, but you'll at least need the bulk of the info to set the date.
 
The communications technology keeps evolving, and different folks (both clients and providers) have different preferences and requirements for phone calls vs text vs email. Some people, both providers and clients, prefer or require a phone call at some point to book an appointment. This is useful for screening, and also for building some trust and bonding that will help make a better appointment. Personally I like email, since you can have a decent exchange with some substance and get a sense of who is on the other end. Until fairly recently texting was frowned upon for its perceived flake factor, but now lots of people are comfortable with texting and it's possible to have a decent exchange and get to know someone (and look for potential trouble) through texts back and forth. There are generational preferences, so be sensitive to that and try to be accommodating.
 
I can't speak to screening for FTM escorts and how it might be different, but glad to see @FTM Zachary Prince has chimed in.

Keep a nondecript appearing "trick bag" packed with various essentials you think you might need. Mine has water-based and synthetic lubes, condoms of various sizes, and dildos of various sizes. Plus a paddle and mini flogger just in case. Often the bag is never opened if the host has his own stuff but it's good to know it's all there.
 
If that's all too much for traveling light just bring a couple of little bottles of lube in your carry-on. TSA has seen everything, no need to be shy.

Keep a nondecript appearing "trick bag" packed with various essentials you think you might need. Mine has water-based and synthetic lubes, condoms of various sizes, and dildos of various sizes. Plus a paddle and mini flogger just in case. Often the bag is never opened if the host has his own stuff but it's good to know it's all there.
 
If that's all too much for traveling light just bring a couple of little bottles of lube in your carry-on. TSA has seen everything, no need to be shy.

I thought I would bump up a thread about my experiences in Palm Springs at various resorts.
 
Thus far, I have experienced four of the clothing optional resorts, an two of the more main stream places.
 
The Parker
Fancy place, Jonathan Adler designed. Beautiful grounds; I was there for a wedding, which they seem to do a lot of. It was really costly; I think my total bill for the weekend was almost 2 grand (but that did include some meals and drinking). I would skip it, but head there for brunch or lunch if you want to see it.
 
The Ace
I checked this out for a friends birthday weekend...the firm that designed it is called Commune, and they did an awesome job. Very sort of 60s chic vibe, they took an old motor lodge and made it cool. The clientele are very (well, to be blunt) douch-ey. Entitled 25 to 35 year old folks. Lot's of well done breast implants. The old school diner charged $16 for eggs and toast. I had fun, but mostly because of the block of friends that I went there with. It was more expensive than it was worth.
 
The Century
Gay, clothing optional. Small resort, 10 or 12 rooms. This was my first clothing optional experience, which was not as weird as I thought it would be. It really does not matter if you want to be naked or not. I thought the hotel was really cool, but also a little bit late 90s dated...but I now know that it is pretty chic as far as palm springs clothing optional goes. The hotel is small enough that everyone is super friendly with each other, and they do a magical 5 PM cocktail hour that really makes everyone hang out and chat. Great staff, friendly owners as well. The hot tub is super fun. The vibe is not overtly sexual, though I think some naughty times happens....it is more discrete and not creepy. My only complaint (seriously) is that the sliding doors are a little bit janky to try and lock....I would advise against bringing anything expensive with you so you don't have to worry about keeping the room secured. It is in Warm Sands, parking is easy...you can grab lunch if you take a 10 minute walk up the street and you can be to downtown PS in about a 25 minute walk / $8 uber ride. The folks that stay there tend to be sort of well heeled gay guys, 30-50ish.
 
The Canyon Club
OK, so it's pretty much a bath house. The check in counter has a lube display if that tells you anything. Outstanding downtown location. The pictures online are not accurate...they make it look sort of nautical and pretty, but the place has a seedy sort of rundown late 80s vibe. I kept wondering why the coke dispenser room smelled like lube until I realized it abutted a dark room sort of area. My room was cleanish with stained brown carpeting and was so un stylish that it was sort of honest about it. The crowd during the day skewed older (40 to 60) and they sell day passes, so outside folks were coming in to hang out. I was there for two nights, on night #1 I had a fun time hanging out with a guy visiting from out of town and on night #2 I had really good sex with a 25 year old fellow who must have been there on a day pass...he knocked on my room window and I got to know his bubble butt very well. The vibe was friendly-ish and a little bit skanky, which I did not mind. This place is very affordable and the location is awesome.
 
El Mirasol Villas
Not a fan. Sort of friendly staff (well, I only met one guy working there). Beautiful landscaping in general, two pools. They will loan you a porn DVD at reception but I did not get a sexual vibe at all. I had booked a room there for 4 nights, ended up moving hotels after one night; I think there are 20 rooms (give or take) but I only saw 4 other guests. One fellow was mid 50s and so tan he resembled tree bark, one mid 70s gay couple who were cute but passed a lot of gas while sunbathing, and one fellow who was in his room the entire time but had a procession of escorts come and go from it...I would assume he was the most interesting out of the lot. I think it was just not the right place for me. The room was TACKY...aggressively fake mexican furnishings. I would rather a space be taste free instead of tasteless. I think if you wanted a quiet couples only weekend this would be a great place to do it. After one night I realized I would rather pay for two rooms than remain any longer.
 
All Worlds
This place is also pretty much a bath house. The main resort is a big compound with (four?) pools, one small hot tub, and a wide array of buildings. All ages of people were there. They sell day and night passes, which brings a lot of people in. I had a lot of fun; there is a really active and super friendly dark room setup and they do a fun Sunday BBQ in the afternoon. Nice staff. Rooms were a little bit beat up but fine. There were guys there in their 20s all the way to 70s. The main resort is very busy, lot's going on. The Annex, which is across a street from it, has it's own pool and hot tub and is super quiet. My room was back there, and was nice...I think I would rather be in the main resort but the annex would be better if you wanted someplace quieter. I had a lot of sex there, which was kind of fun. Three problems: There was a lot of drug use. Lot's of smoking pot (whatever) but also a major group of people on crystal meth. They all seemed to know each other, so maybe it was just a drug friends vacation situation but grindr was full of people in the resort referring to crystal and one guy actually sat in a chair by the pool with a thing tied off around his arm...I thought he was going to shoot up right there. The owner was present, and was having an argument with his 'boy toy', which apparently change often...that was weird energy. It also got a little bit creepy at night back in the annex. I was a little weirded out by the drug guys, and did not feel 100% safe....I was up stupid early on Sunday morning and hopped into the hot tub with a book at 7 AM and was joined with two super sketch guys who were on substances and were still up from the night before. I actually had a lot of fun staying there, though I think I would probably book rooms again at the Century (just a block over) and get a day pass to hang out at All Worlds.

It was an honest misunderstanding. When he asked to take my photo, @latbear4blk did indeed mention that it was for his blog. At the time I did not think much of it, or think it through. When I saw the blog post with my photo I had second thoughts, and my request to have it removed was honored. I agree it should not tarnish a wonderful weekend... or my fondness for @latbear4blk for that matter!

It was an honest misunderstanding. When he asked to take my photo, @latbear4blk did indeed mention that it was for his blog. At the time I did not think much of it, or think it through. When I saw the blog post with my photo I had second thoughts, and my request to have it removed was honored. I agree it should not tarnish a wonderful weekend... or my fondness for @latbear4blk for that matter!

It was an honest misunderstanding. When he asked to take my photo, @latbear4blk did indeed mention that it was for his blog. At the time I did not think much of it, or think it through. When I saw the blog post with my photo I had second thoughts, and my request to have it removed was honored. I agree it should not tarnish a wonderful weekend... or my fondness for @latbear4blk for that matter!

Happy Birthday compadre!

Clearly, @nate_sf was a boy scout

Well, that would make things interesting! And here was I thinking of meeting you for a coffee!

Do you think so?

Happy Birthday Ace!
 
You could not have picked a better time for a party. Or better weather.
 
Now please don't expect us to keep our hands out of the cookie jar.
 

 

 

Keep a nondecript appearing "trick bag" packed with various essentials you think you might need. Mine has water-based and synthetic lubes, condoms of various sizes, and dildos of various sizes. Plus a paddle and mini flogger just in case. Often the bag is never opened if the host has his own stuff but it's good to know it's all there.
 
If that's all too much for traveling light just bring a couple of little bottles of lube in your carry-on. TSA has seen everything, no need to be shy.

Keep a nondecript appearing "trick bag" packed with various essentials you think you might need. Mine has water-based and synthetic lubes, condoms of various sizes, and dildos of various sizes. Plus a paddle and mini flogger just in case. Often the bag is never opened if the host has his own stuff but it's good to know it's all there.
 
If that's all too much for traveling light just bring a couple of little bottles of lube in your carry-on. TSA has seen everything, no need to be shy.

Perhaps there is hope for The Townhouse after all. (I'm only half joking...)
 
Today I picked up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and checked to see if it still runs escort ads. It does indeed, though it's only a very modest quarter page of ads, compared to several pages years ago:
 
http://www.natebeck.us/20180407_161010_resized.jpg
 
When I first started escorting in the late 90s, the BAR was still very viable. The web-based sites were only just starting. I ran line ads, which were much less expensive than display ads with photos. Then I had discreet business cards that I'd leave at the end of each appointment so they could find me again. All very old-school. I don't know how or if FOSTA applies to print, but it does seem like a back-to-the-future moment.

Perhaps there is hope for The Townhouse after all. (I'm only half joking...)
 
Today I picked up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and checked to see if it still runs escort ads. It does indeed, though it's only a very modest quarter page of ads, compared to several pages years ago:
 
http://www.natebeck.us/20180407_161010_resized.jpg
 
When I first started escorting in the late 90s, the BAR was still very viable. The web-based sites were only just starting. I ran line ads, which were much less expensive than display ads with photos. Then I had discreet business cards that I'd leave at the end of each appointment so they could find me again. All very old-school. I don't know how or if FOSTA applies to print, but it does seem like a back-to-the-future moment.

Bags packed! FOSTA be damned.....
Can't wait to see everyone.

Perhaps there is hope for The Townhouse after all. (I'm only half joking...)
 
Today I picked up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and checked to see if it still runs escort ads. It does indeed, though it's only a very modest quarter page of ads, compared to several pages years ago:
 
http://www.natebeck.us/20180407_161010_resized.jpg
 
When I first started escorting in the late 90s, the BAR was still very viable. The web-based sites were only just starting. I ran line ads, which were much less expensive than display ads with photos. Then I had discreet business cards that I'd leave at the end of each appointment so they could find me again. All very old-school. I don't know how or if FOSTA applies to print, but it does seem like a back-to-the-future moment.

The reference to $500 rates confused me too. I expect it refers to female escort rates, and the template for the letter may have been written with that market in mind, just guessing.
 
I'd think the version of the letter focused on men should mention $300, or maybe $350 as having been the top end from a year or so ago. Before Rentmen removed rates from their app, I'd been tracking rates and had been noticing things dropping a bit over this past year so I think the overall point still applies, just the number is wrong in this case.

Perhaps there is hope for The Townhouse after all. (I'm only half joking...)
 
Today I picked up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and checked to see if it still runs escort ads. It does indeed, though it's only a very modest quarter page of ads, compared to several pages years ago:
 
http://www.natebeck.us/20180407_161010_resized.jpg
 
When I first started escorting in the late 90s, the BAR was still very viable. The web-based sites were only just starting. I ran line ads, which were much less expensive than display ads with photos. Then I had discreet business cards that I'd leave at the end of each appointment so they could find me again. All very old-school. I don't know how or if FOSTA applies to print, but it does seem like a back-to-the-future moment.

Perhaps there is hope for The Townhouse after all. (I'm only half joking...)
 
Today I picked up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and checked to see if it still runs escort ads. It does indeed, though it's only a very modest quarter page of ads, compared to several pages years ago:
 
http://www.natebeck.us/20180407_161010_resized.jpg
 
When I first started escorting in the late 90s, the BAR was still very viable. The web-based sites were only just starting. I ran line ads, which were much less expensive than display ads with photos. Then I had discreet business cards that I'd leave at the end of each appointment so they could find me again. All very old-school. I don't know how or if FOSTA applies to print, but it does seem like a back-to-the-future moment.

Perhaps there is hope for The Townhouse after all. (I'm only half joking...)
 
Today I picked up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and checked to see if it still runs escort ads. It does indeed, though it's only a very modest quarter page of ads, compared to several pages years ago:
 
http://www.natebeck.us/20180407_161010_resized.jpg
 
When I first started escorting in the late 90s, the BAR was still very viable. The web-based sites were only just starting. I ran line ads, which were much less expensive than display ads with photos. Then I had discreet business cards that I'd leave at the end of each appointment so they could find me again. All very old-school. I don't know how or if FOSTA applies to print, but it does seem like a back-to-the-future moment.

The reference to $500 rates confused me too. I expect it refers to female escort rates, and the template for the letter may have been written with that market in mind, just guessing.
 
I'd think the version of the letter focused on men should mention $300, or maybe $350 as having been the top end from a year or so ago. Before Rentmen removed rates from their app, I'd been tracking rates and had been noticing things dropping a bit over this past year so I think the overall point still applies, just the number is wrong in this case.

The reference to $500 rates confused me too. I expect it refers to female escort rates, and the template for the letter may have been written with that market in mind, just guessing.
 
I'd think the version of the letter focused on men should mention $300, or maybe $350 as having been the top end from a year or so ago. Before Rentmen removed rates from their app, I'd been tracking rates and had been noticing things dropping a bit over this past year so I think the overall point still applies, just the number is wrong in this case.

Style New York Times
Bob Dylan Sings About Gay Love
By JIM FARBERAPRIL 5, 2018
 
 

The artists participating in the “Universal Love” project. Top row, from left, Bob Dylan, Kele Okereke, St. Vincent. Bottom row, from left, Valerie June, Kesha, Ben Gibbard.
Shortly after the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in 2015, Justice Antonin Scalia attended a party where he signaled his displeasure by singing Bob Dylan’s “
’.” 
[Comment: What an ass!]
 
“He sang with great verve,” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg told The Washington Post at the time.
 
Now Mr. Dylan himself is crooning about same-sex love. As part of a new EP called “Universal Love,” he rerecorded the 1929 song “She’s Funny That Way,” from the Great American Songbook catalog, but switched the pronoun to “He’s Funny That Way.”
 
The six-track set, to be released April 6, also features Kesha, St. Vincent and other noted musicians covering well-known pop hits with a same-sex twist. The performers represent a mix of gay and straight artists.
 
“If you look at the history of pop music, love songs have predominantly come from one heterosexual perspective,” said Tom Murphy, a co-producer of “Universal Love.” “If we view music as something that brings people together, shouldn’t these popular songs be open to everyone?”
 
The album was funded by MGM Resorts International and its songs are intended to function as wedding anthems for same-sex couples. Gay weddings account for between 20 percent and 30 percent of the ceremonies performed at the company’s 15 hotels in Las Vegas, said Jim Murren, its chief executive.
 
 
To secure the right to perform the songs with altered lyrics, permission was required from the songs’ publishers. “The response was completely positive,” said Rob Kaplan, the project’s executive producer.
 
Photo

"Universal Love" on vinyl.
Mr. Kaplan started his search for artists with Ben Gibbard, the frontman for Death Cab for Cutie, an alternative rock band from Washington State. Mr. Gibbard had expressed his support of marriage equality in a 2012 essay for The Daily Beast, inspired by his sister, a lesbian. “This was a cause at our family dinner table,” Mr. Gibbard said.
 
For the project, Mr. Gibbard elected to recast the Beatles classic “
” to “And I Love Him.” “It’s a song my dad often played to my mom after dinner,” he said. “Also, it’s a song everyone knows.” 
Kesha chose Janis Joplin’s “I Need a Man to Love” (“such a gritty, soulful song,” Kesha said), and changed it to “I Need a Woman to Love.” “For years I said that I’m not getting married until any two people can legally marry in this country,” Kesha said. She has since become ordained and has performed weddings for two gay couples.
 
Valerie June, a country and blues singer who attended her first gay marriage last year for her cousin, recorded a big-band version of “Mad About the Boy,” changing “boy” to “girl.” Ms. June believes it adds an extra layer of meaning that the song’s writer, Noël Coward, was gay and that the version he recorded in 1932 wasn’t released in its day because of prevailing homophobia.
 
“It brings the song full circle to know that it was written by a gay man who meant every single word of ‘Mad About the Boy,’” she said.
 
Mr. Dylan, who does not appear to have spoken out in favor of gay rights in the past, declined to be interviewed. But his choice of song, “She’s Funny That Way,” which has been recorded by Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole, gains a wink in its current guise; “He’s Funny That Way” can also be read as an antiquated code for a gay person.
 
Mr. Dylan’s warm and wry performance captures the mix of wit and sincerity favored by songs from the American standards era.
 
Photo

Bob Dylan, seen here in a 2012 performance in Los Angeles, recorded “He’s Funny That Way” for the project. Credit Chris Pizzello/Associated Press
Mr. Kaplan said that when he contacted Mr. Dylan, he got a very quick yes. “And it wasn’t just ‘yes, I’ll do this,’” he said. “It was ‘hey, I have an idea for a song.’”
 
“Universal Love” arrives at an evolving time for same-sex pronouns in pop. Though major music stars started to come out in significant numbers in the 1990s, with artists including K. D. Lang, Melissa Etheridge and Elton John, rarely, if ever, did they use same-sex pronouns in their recordings.
 
Only in the last six years have younger stars slowly begun to do so, including Frank Ocean, Olly Alexander and Mary Lambert, who crooned the chorus of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’s Grammy-nominated “
” in 2012. 




 


 
“For a long time, queer people had to use the awkward ‘you’ in their songs to avoid outing themselves,” said Stephan Pennington, a professor of music at Tufts University who teaches a course in “queer pop.”
 
“There has also always been pressure from the record companies to not be exclusionary by using a same-sex pronoun,” Mr. Pennington said. “But heterosexual expressions are never thought of as exclusionary.”
 
Indeed, Sam Smith, arguably the most prominent gay pop star today, refrains from using same-sex pronouns.
 
Allison Zatarain, a producer of a new album titled “Instant Love,” which mirrors the mission of “Universal Love” by featuring female artists singing love songs to other women, believes the use of same-sex pronouns in pop songs “fills a massive hole in the world’s musical library.”
 
“To hear a woman sing to another woman, or a man to a man, lends the song a specificity that is so much more impactful than addressing ‘you,’” she said.