FTM escort client screening - what kind of info should I be getting before finishing a booking?

[PrettyboyJake]

Hey everyone! Baby FTM escort here. I haven't been able to find much information on this from a male escort's perspective (both cis and trans), just client-side, so I'm curious - what kind of screening information do you like to get before seeing a client, and when do you like to get it? I can see the pros and cons of early on or later on, but it feels like I might be missing some good perspectives while I'm still feeling out when and how I try to screen. I know a lot of it has to do with what makes me personally feel comfortable (which I'm still feeling out) but the standards seem to be way different vs. straight escorting.

 

Also, as an aside, I'm totally looking to connect / chat with other FTM escorts! Hit me up or I'll hit you up, whichever!

[PrettyboyJake]

...

 

Thanks mate! I make sure to disclose my status on my rentmen page; I'm specifically looking for clients who want what I have to offer so it's good for both sides of the equation.

[Mocha]

Not to be flippant, but I notice a lot of Ftm escorts nowadays than during the rentboy days. I think it's interesting, but I've also come across several self-professed bi-guys, and perhaps that would be quite the market to entertain.

 

However, in my case...I've seen an innumerable amount of men in my days, however I've never come across an actual FTM, or even an actual woman for that matter. All the TS girls I've come across were either in full man mode, or in one case...before they made the transition to female.

[PrettyboyJake]

Not to be flippant, but I notice a lot of Ftm escorts nowadays than during the rentboy days. I think it's interesting, but I've also come across several self-professed bi-guys, and perhaps that would be quite the market to entertain.

 

However, in my case...I've seen an innumerable amount of men in my days, however I've never come across an actual FTM, or even an actual woman for that matter. All the TS girls I've come across were either in full man mode, or in one case...before they made the transition to female.

 

Aye, yeah, it seems to me that the amount of FTM guys becoming visible in escorting/porn/etc. is directly proportionate to how much accurate information, good medical care, and general acceptance there is. It's a new age! I remember way back when I first saw Buck Angel and I just about lost my mind 'cause I'd thought til that point that nobody was interested in trans dudes in any kind of sex work. It'd be sweet to have some trans clients as a trans provider, but it seems totally dominated by cis guys right now.

 

Edit: As a heads-up, some of the language you're using is actually pretty transphobic. Anyone who hasn't transitioned yet is still the gender they ID with. No 'man mode' about it!

Edited March 17, 2018 by PrettyboyJake

[Mocha]

Aye, yeah, it seems to me that the amount of FTM guys becoming visible in escorting/porn/etc. is directly proportionate to how much accurate information, good medical care, and general acceptance there is. It's a new age! I remember way back when I first saw Buck Angel and I just about lost my mind 'cause I'd thought til that point that nobody was interested in trans dudes in any kind of sex work. It'd be sweet to have some trans clients as a trans provider, but it seems totally dominated by cis guys right now.

 

Edit: As a heads-up, some of the language you're using is actually pretty transphobic. Anyone who hasn't transitioned yet is still the gender they ID with. No 'man mode' about it!

 

Lol...I didn't mean it to be, my mistake. But in each case, they were happy to be in their man mode, and mainly dressed up for drag shows and parties, etc. They weren't going for the transition so to speak.

 

That said...one of my bestie is a full TS, so I'm not at all phobic. Just personally...there was/is even a guy who I fucked as a boy a couple of times. Super cute. Then he would occasionally do this drag stuff and become unrecognizable. I wouldn't fuck him in his get up because that's not the person he was when he first approached me, nor do I like long hair and nails, glitter and heels. But if he turns into a boy again after the club....shit, I wouldn't say no.

Edited March 17, 2018 by Mocha

[PrettyboyJake]

Lol...I didn't mean it to be, my mistake. But in each case, they were happy to be in their man mode, and mainly dressed up for drag shows and parties, etc. They weren't going for the transition so to speak.

 

That said...one of my bestie is a full TS, so I'm not at all phobic. Just personally...there was/is even a guy who I fucked as a boy a couple of times. Super cute. Then he would occasionally do this drag stuff and become unrecognizable. I wouldn't fuck him in his get up because that's not the person he was when he first approached me, nor do I like long hair and nails, glitter and heels. But if he turns into a boy again after the club....shit, I wouldn't say no.

 

Hey man, yeah, dw about it; most people I meet who say transphobic stuff, they don't mean to be, it's just out of not knowing the needed information lol. You can still accidentally say transphobic stuff and not be intentionally transphobic yourself!

 

I have a lot of respect for the people who do drag. It looks like it takes a l o t of work. I'd like to myself some day but lord, I just don't have the patience right now..

 

Before I get too sidetracked, do you have any input on the screening issue? I'm still puzzling that one out, haha.

[mike carey]

@PrettyboyJake, there are several other FTM escorts in the forum, and they post frequently. I'm sure they will contact you either on here or separately. I won't presume to name them.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

As far as I can tell it doesn’t seem like gay escorts really screen their clients beyond using their intuition over the phone or whatever. So if you wanna fit into the “social norm” for gay escorts then you would probably wanna go along the lines of not requiring any “formal” screening.

 

I personally do require screening information from my clients. I used to work as a female escort and continue to feel I am exposed to the same risks of stalking and violence since I advertise in both M4M and straight-oriented ad venues (because bi & heteroflexible guys are a still a large portion of my current client base). I don’t feel comfortable giving up my screening practices. I expect any of the gay clients who want to meet me to follow my screening requirements, which probably severely limits the number of gay clients who contact me about a booking. My pricing is also really abnormally high for a gay escort too, which I’m sure is an additional factor.

 

I do feel your question is phrased in a somewhat unhelpful manner. There are absolutely no established industry norms for how FTMs operate because there is no sector of the industry specially for us. If you plan to work the gay side of the industry exclusively then you need to be asking how gay men screen, not how FTMs screen. If you plan to copy their methods. If you plan to ignore the industry norms and implement your own methods, then you can do that too. Just know that lots of gay clients will be turned off by it and probably avoid booking you.

 

My gay friends who escort have insisted that their clients are not much of a risk of stalking or violence to them. Now that I’m transitioning and seeing the difference between how people treat me as a guy compared to how people treated me when they thought I was a girl, I’d say it’s generally a male privilege thing. Men get to escort without being subject to the same level of risk regarding violence and stalking as a female escort would be. So generally Male escorts don’t seem to screen.

 

Transgender escorts are, however, subject to some of the highest levels of violence in the industry. This is mostly MTF escorts as I understand it. But at this point in my transition I’m much more likely to be booked by trans-fetishists (the same guys who are booking MTF escorts) and heteroflexible/bi/straight men, so I still consider myself to be at risk for these types of violence. If I was being booked almost exclusively by gay clients then I might feel less at risk and change my tune about requiring screening.

 

Best of luck deciding what to do!

[nate_sf]

Welcome @PrettyboyJake to the forum!

 

You're right, screening with male escorts is much different than female escorts, from my understanding.

 

From my experience as a (cis) male escort seeing male clients, the screening is done through the communications and is not usually formal. But each guy has a way about it, trying to establish a comfort level through the communications and looking for red flags along the way. It's based on a lot of intuition and with practice and experience you start to see patterns of where things might go sideways.

 

From my advice, the basic questions that need to be asked and answered to set up an appointment are a variation of the old journalistic rule of thumb of answering who, what, when, where, and how. The goal is to get those figured out to a degree of comfort and certainty, and look for any trouble along the way. Who will you be meeting, where will you meet, what will you be doing together (at least a general direction), and how will you confirm the appointment. You may not be able to get everything answered, particularly the what if either side is being cautious, but you'll at least need the bulk of the info to set the date.

 

The communications technology keeps evolving, and different folks (both clients and providers) have different preferences and requirements for phone calls vs text vs email. Some people, both providers and clients, prefer or require a phone call at some point to book an appointment. This is useful for screening, and also for building some trust and bonding that will help make a better appointment. Personally I like email, since you can have a decent exchange with some substance and get a sense of who is on the other end. Until fairly recently texting was frowned upon for its perceived flake factor, but now lots of people are comfortable with texting and it's possible to have a decent exchange and get to know someone (and look for potential trouble) through texts back and forth. There are generational preferences, so be sensitive to that and try to be accommodating.

 

I can't speak to screening for FTM escorts and how it might be different, but glad to see @FTM Zachary Prince has chimed in.

Edited March 18, 2018 by nate_sf

[PrettyboyJake]

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Hey guys, these were both extremely informative, thank you so much! I wasn't really sure how to phrase it as ""helpful"", I just explained as best as I could with as much information as I could think to give. Figured reaching out somewhere with other transmen who also escort would be my best bet for any kind of insight.

 

That said, yeah, I've been seeing that there wasn't any industry norms. It wasn't even until about.. maybe two years ago that I started seeing different kinds of people aside from trans women and cis people. I'm definitely seeing the huge differences in screening methods depending on gender ID, especially with these replies. I'd thought maybe it just wasn't talked about in the gay male scene - pretty much no forum/place to talk, be it reddit or tumblr or here or other m4m escorting forums had any info - but the male privilege thing definitely explains why it doesn't seem to have any set standard.

 

I'm learning (real fast lol) about how each person's got their own individual comfort levels re: screening, too. Both these responses have given me a lot more to think about in terms of what my comfort levels are & how to go about implementing whatever makes me feel okay. I have the same concern about violence because of the statistics so I think mine, too, are going to settle into being somewhat more stringent than if I was cis. I guess I'm going to have to anticipate some people just not being cool with it & passing, but that's fair. If I've learned anything now, it's that my processes are gonna be evolving as I'm in this, more.

 

I hadn't even begun to consider generational preferences, either! Damn, thank you for bringing that up. I've taken away a lot from all this information and, again, I gotta say thank you. You guys are awesome and I appreciate the time it took to write such detailed replies.

[FTM Zachary Prince]

There are other FTM escorts on this forum who probably have a different perspective about screening than me, so hopefully one or more of them will also chime in with some added perspective...

[Cyd_StVincent]

Sorry I just saw this. Zachary is right, if you want to advertise towards a gay market you should expect that screening is going to be a request met with confusion and rejection by most.

 

Around the concept of that being because its not needed, I would say that's pretty complex. Male sex workers are DEFINITELY less targeted by law enforcement which is one of the primary reasons that screening exists - to weed out stings. As a trans male sex worker I would say that I feel somewhat more safe than when I worked as a cis woman with my clients, but I would say that has more to do with my growing confidence in negotiating my boundaries than anything else. Compared to when I worked as a woman I get more clients attempting to have bareback or anal sex with me without obtaining consent - but the overall power dynamic feels a bit more equal and I get less "scary" clients, more just pushy or shady ones - and those are of course definitely in the minority overall.

[MichBoyBlake]

As a gay male I do wish I could screen clients a bit more. But oh well. There are very few clients that would be understanding and OK with that (although it seems like common sense to me), so I generally do very little screening, if any. I will be quick to either let a potential client know though if they're giving me a bad vibe, or to just choose to not meet with that client.

I only do out-calls, so it does always kinda feel a bit unnerving at first to walk up, knock on the door and enter.. but idk I'm slowly getting over it. I still try to be careful though, pay attention and keep my eyes open on a first meet.

[KazBrawley]

I do screen clients. And I ask more in monetary compensation for my time than most trans guys. I am well aware it's not the norm and I am sure I loose a lot of one-off business to it, however, I'd rather trusted guys that repeat than just have a constant stream of one-offs anyway. I also think I get away with screening being only a momentary hiccup (rather than a deal breaker) because I offer services that a lot of my clients wouldn't feel as comfortable enjoying if I didn't screen. I do find myself pretty often gently reminding guys that not keeping their info private is bad for businesses. If this still doesn't make them feel comfortable enough I tell them about my other job, which is one with a relatively high trust index. Most guys realize that they'd willingly give way more personal information to me without a second thought (like SS#, family contacts, life story, etc) if asked in that context and they realize it's one more piece of info I have to guard and are okay with whatever I need from them after that.

 

I've gotten clients from friends who refer their friends to me (my friends are pretty awesome & supportive), in which case I can usually go without verifying identity because it's already known and more. Otherwise, I ask for ID (hard to fake or easy to verify stuff: state, passport, military, current large employer ID, currently enrolled student ID) and a health screen from no more than 10 days before we plan to meet where the name on it has to match. The second part is optional, of course, but most guys do it because they realize they're spending like they've had it and plan to use it whether they opt take advantage of that or not.

 

I have worked as both a TV and trans male escort. I've had a couple scary experiences with both but probably the worst was in LA when I advertised as trans guy and got abducted on an outcall (that started with a meeting in public no less). The dude seemed fine at first, slightly preoccupied, but it seemed to go with the overworked professional white guy white collar Daddy stereotype he obviously had going. I didn't think I needed to screen too hard before, I felt relaxed at dinner, and next thing I know I'm being held at knifepoint in this psycho dude's car (who I also realize nobody I know knows for sure his real info) and he is deciding out loud whether he has a future as a pimp or just wants to take me right to Angeles National Forest. That was years ago and I walked away without a scratch but with the lasting opinion that while most guys don't mean any harm all you need is one malicious dude to ruin your life. I try to encourage everyone regardless of their gender or client base to screen if that's what they need to feel safe. Not screening based on what other people do and what clients want/expect means more people who want to screen won't; it's a self perpetuating fear.