nate_sf

I'll be there too, helping with some of the activities. If there is interest in the gay sports bar Saturday afternoon again I'm happy to put that together.

I'm glad you've found a therapist you like. As others have mentioned, it can take some trial and error to find the right fit. I've been seeing a great therapist off and on for many years... after the initial work with him, I took breaks and returned whenever there was a life change going on that I needed help with. It can be great to talk with someone who knows how to talk about all this kind of stuff!

Beyond the past trauma stuff, there is the matter that you've had some big changes in life, and there probably needs to be some time of figuring out what's next. Maybe call it "mid-life crisis" or what have you, but I'm guessing there are a lot of us here on the forum who have had some version of reinventing after a divorce, job change, coming out, or what have you. In my years as an escort I saw many variations of this, and it was great to see guys over time discover a new version of themselves and start to really enjoy life.

Other thing you mentioned is the need for validation from others, and that's a tough one. Social networking apps like Facebook and IG can be really detrimental in this regard, and can make people feel lousy. For myself I try to be cognizant of how much time I spend on these things, and be aware of whether they are putting me in a bad mood. At least for me I'm finding reading a good book keeps me in a better space than spending an hour on Facebook!

Hey @haring222 thanks for sharing your experiences!

The Century

Gay, clothing optional. Small resort, 10 or 12 rooms. This was my first clothing optional experience, which was not as weird as I thought it would be. It really does not matter if you want to be naked or not. I thought the hotel was really cool, but also a little bit late 90s dated...but I now know that it is pretty chic as far as palm springs clothing optional goes. The hotel is small enough that everyone is super friendly with each other, and they do a magical 5 PM cocktail hour that really makes everyone hang out and chat. Great staff, friendly owners as well. The hot tub is super fun. The vibe is not overtly sexual, though I think some naughty times happens....it is more discrete and not creepy. My only complaint (seriously) is that the sliding doors are a little bit janky to try and lock....I would advise against bringing anything expensive with you so you don't have to worry about keeping the room secured. It is in Warm Sands, parking is easy...you can grab lunch if you take a 10 minute walk up the street and you can be to downtown PS in about a 25 minute walk / $8 uber ride. The folks that stay there tend to be sort of well heeled gay guys, 30-50ish.

I stayed at the Century this year and overall really liked it. They've put a lot of thought into the design and it's well maintained, and the price was not bad. I think the rate was about the same as InnDulge across the street. As you mention the location is really good, close to lots of things. The clothing-optional aspect was inconsistent... for the most part the guys all wore swimwear, to the point that I went back in my room to review the hotel's website to confirm it really was clothing-optional. Saturday afternoon a number of guys went naked, but by Sunday morning the swimsuits were all back on. Maybe it's the afternoon heat that gets folks to release their inhibitions? In any case, I'd stay there again.

The Ace

I checked this out for a friends birthday weekend...the firm that designed it is called Commune, and they did an awesome job. Very sort of 60s chic vibe, they took an old motor lodge and made it cool. The clientele are very (well, to be blunt) douch-ey. Entitled 25 to 35 year old folks. Lot's of well done breast implants. The old school diner charged $16 for eggs and toast. I had fun, but mostly because of the block of friends that I went there with. It was more expensive than it was worth.

A couple of years ago I went with a friend who had a day pass (I'm not sure they usually have these, he may have known somebody). We spent a few hours by the pool and watched the scene. And it is quite a scene. Overall hetero, though I think there may have been a few gays here and there, and all very much beautiful-people. Also lots of dogs, as the hotel allows dogs. The dogs are allowed to hang out by the pool with their owners, usually sitting in the shade under umbrellas or deck chairs, and as would be expected the dogs were as beautiful as their owners, if not more so. The cocktails and food are great, and there's poolside service, so we had fun sitting and ordering food and drinks the entire time. Fun for a few hours by the pool, but I wouldn't want to stay there. Too many men wearing board shorts, which is just a shame.

It was an honest misunderstanding. When he asked to take my photo, @latbear4blk did indeed mention that it was for his blog. At the time I did not think much of it, or think it through. When I saw the blog post with my photo I had second thoughts, and my request to have it removed was honored. I agree it should not tarnish a wonderful weekend... or my fondness for @latbear4blk for that matter!

Happy Birthday compadre!

Keep a nondecript appearing "trick bag" packed with various essentials you think you might need. Mine has water-based and synthetic lubes, condoms of various sizes, and dildos of various sizes. Plus a paddle and mini flogger just in case. Often the bag is never opened if the host has his own stuff but it's good to know it's all there.

If that's all too much for traveling light just bring a couple of little bottles of lube in your carry-on. TSA has seen everything, no need to be shy.

What if your vers?

I was wondering the same thing...

Perhaps there is hope for The Townhouse after all. (I'm only half joking...)

Today I picked up a copy of the Bay Area Reporter and checked to see if it still runs escort ads. It does indeed, though it's only a very modest quarter page of ads, compared to several pages years ago:

http://www.natebeck.us/20180407_161010_resized.jpg

When I first started escorting in the late 90s, the BAR was still very viable. The web-based sites were only just starting. I ran line ads, which were much less expensive than display ads with photos. Then I had discreet business cards that I'd leave at the end of each appointment so they could find me again. All very old-school. I don't know how or if FOSTA applies to print, but it does seem like a back-to-the-future moment.

When was this?

The reference to $500 rates confused me too. I expect it refers to female escort rates, and the template for the letter may have been written with that market in mind, just guessing.

I'd think the version of the letter focused on men should mention $300, or maybe $350 as having been the top end from a year or so ago. Before Rentmen removed rates from their app, I'd been tracking rates and had been noticing things dropping a bit over this past year so I think the overall point still applies, just the number is wrong in this case.

Anyone else not listed here is planning to attend?

Though I haven't been doing as much adult entertaining as I once did, I'll be there for the weekend.

My experiences in the last 10 days indicate it is making a comeback — after the 3 BJs memtioned above, I stopped yesterday at a scenic overlook - parked in front of a car that looked like “maybe” - touched my brakes a couple times - guy gets out and comes over to chat but hands in pocket show what he is interested in.

 

We cut to the chase but before we can do anything, a carload of kids pulls on:( and a cop w/ pulled over motorist.

 

So we kept chatting and it came out that he did massages - nude on nude w/ lots of body to body connection. Now we decide we can make that work in my van:) he goes for some coconut oil and we re-connect at another pull over down the road.

 

Nice massage, HOT time, oral hoth ways and then the surprise:) he gave me his cherry — early 40s w/o an extra ounce - above average cut. 75% of his clientele are women but he is natural and totally relaxed w/ men. My average size won me the prize as he hadn’t let anyone else have his cherry because he feared size (as Did I when I finally decided to bttm in my 50s)

 

Good connection and we will meet again when he visits his parents in NH. Well worth the $60 !!!

I gotta get a van...

Maybe it's a ploy to lure the types of guys he likes to his massage table. You know, burly-Giants-fans-kinda-guys.

The Giants tickets themselves seems believable enough until he gets to the part about also meeting the players and special VIP passes, AND heritage night, AND the Gotham club. I mean, you could have stopped at the sky box...

But then again, do you care if he has a full body pic of you? Send him your pic and see where it goes next. Though he says he needs someone to host... not sure I'd want him coming over to my place!

Why did they close?

The sign on the door says they were not able to renew their lease.

The end of an era: after 39 years, the hot tubs on Van Ness Avenue in San Francisco closed at the end of February. Over the years I'd been there more times than I could count, both on the clock and off. It was always good to know it was there as an option for a rendezvous. Though in concept it seems like it could be kinda nasty, and hard to believe such a place could exist, I always found the rooms to be really clean and well suited to the need at hand. Definitely had some fun times there.

Anyone else been there over the years, memories to share?

"Fashion has changed..."

Welcome @PrettyboyJake to the forum!

You're right, screening with male escorts is much different than female escorts, from my understanding.

From my experience as a (cis) male escort seeing male clients, the screening is done through the communications and is not usually formal. But each guy has a way about it, trying to establish a comfort level through the communications and looking for red flags along the way. It's based on a lot of intuition and with practice and experience you start to see patterns of where things might go sideways.

From my advice, the basic questions that need to be asked and answered to set up an appointment are a variation of the old journalistic rule of thumb of answering who, what, when, where, and how. The goal is to get those figured out to a degree of comfort and certainty, and look for any trouble along the way. Who will you be meeting, where will you meet, what will you be doing together (at least a general direction), and how will you confirm the appointment. You may not be able to get everything answered, particularly the what if either side is being cautious, but you'll at least need the bulk of the info to set the date.

The communications technology keeps evolving, and different folks (both clients and providers) have different preferences and requirements for phone calls vs text vs email. Some people, both providers and clients, prefer or require a phone call at some point to book an appointment. This is useful for screening, and also for building some trust and bonding that will help make a better appointment. Personally I like email, since you can have a decent exchange with some substance and get a sense of who is on the other end. Until fairly recently texting was frowned upon for its perceived flake factor, but now lots of people are comfortable with texting and it's possible to have a decent exchange and get to know someone (and look for potential trouble) through texts back and forth. There are generational preferences, so be sensitive to that and try to be accommodating.

I can't speak to screening for FTM escorts and how it might be different, but glad to see @FTM Zachary Prince has chimed in.

All of us came to this forum as strangers. Some of us have becomes acquaintances, others friends. Whatever your comfort level is at this time should be the level you seek. On the other hand, we are all just a bunch of guys, many older, most able to afford enough to pay for a hot time with a hot guy. Most of us are horny, depraved, scarred, thoughtful, lonely, shy, adventurous and did I mention horny. We are just like you and nothing like you, but if you decide to attend, you will be made to feel welcome and you will have a few drinks, a few laughts, a few eggs. You will see the sights of Palm Springs, a bunch of hot men in and out a bathing suits and I guarantee you will see and do something you would not expect you would do. It is a weekend that will expand your horizons and perhaps give you better understanding of who you are. I hope you decide to attend, but if you do not, there will be some point in the weekend that an attendee will raise his glass while grabbing the ass of a hot man standing next to him and he will offer a toast to those who did not attend and those who could not attend. A group of men that could be the Elk's Club of a small town will raise their glasses and drink to you and the others. Odds are, at least at that time, we will be having a lot more fun than those we toast.

To those still on the fence, I'll say if not now, when? Don't delay and don't regret, just say yes. It's a really good time, even for (or especially for) introverts like me to bust out of our shells.

The first PS weekend I attended, I got in town Saturday morning in time for a meetup at a leather shop with others from the forum here. I hadn't met any of the guys before, and was pretty scared shitless, but mustered up my courage and found I was immediately welcomed. @Ace helped me pick out my first pair of leather pants, and it was off to the races. Though I've never been to an Elk's Club meeting, I'm betting this is way more fun.

Just watched it tonight on Amazon. Fantastic film, really twisted in a good way. I loved at the end where they showed the scenes side by side. And of course Dave Franco <swoon!>...

When I was in grade school on the way to school I stumbled on some torn pages from a Playgirl lying in the gutter. I was walking with my sisters so couldn't pick them up, but thought about them all day at school and grabbed them on my walk home alone. For years I kept them hidden away between pages of a "Blue Peter" book in my room. This was the beginning of a long relationship with Playgirl... I wrote a blog essay here for anyone so inclined.

Watching my first porn video was a bit weird, in retrospect. In high school a friend was working at a video rental store, and one afternoon he announces he's swiped a porn video (VHS) and why don't all of us friends (guys and girls) go over to someone's house and check it out. So about ten of us, about half girls and half guys, went over to one of the girl's houses and we all watched it together. Granted probably at least half of us were still virgins, myself included. The video was laughably bad - I just remember it involved a business executive in an office putting the moves on his secretary, with dialog so bad it offered us comic relief. I can't remember how long we watched it, and how far the couple on the screen got into it, before people started leaving or maybe we just turned it off. And I thought to myself afterwards it was kind of weird that the video shop guy working at the video shop had suggested we all watch it together in the first place.

I'm a fan of the Palms Place condo hotel (http://www.palms.com/palms-place.html). I've stayed there a couple of times and really liked the rooms (particularly the shower!), plus since it doesn't have a casino it's much more low-key than the usual strip hotel. Parking is in a garage right downstairs with no fee, so everything is really easy to come and go. It's connected to the Palms hotel and casino so you can venture over that way if you want some adventure. I can't recall if the elevator is card-keyed but the lobby is sufficiently low key that you could meet someone there without any problem. There is a resort fee, but just figure that into the total.

http://www.natebeck.us/BCC2019.jpg

Some of you may be familiar with the Bare Chest Calendar here in San Francisco. It’s become an institution of sorts, and is now in its 35th year. Though the men in the calendar are a big part of the attraction, it is at its heart a fundraiser. The calendar and its events exist for one purpose: to raise funds to support the AIDS Emergency Fund (AEF) and Positive Resource Center. PRC and AEF support people with HIV on many fronts, including job retraining, benefits counseling, and emergency grants. I have friends and family who have utilized the services of these organizations, and can speak from experience of the great things they do and the huge impact they have on people’s lives.

This year is the 35th edition of the calendar, and the final print version. With that in mind, I've decided to take the plunge and compete for the 2019 team. It's something I've always wanted to do but never mustered up the courage to pursue, until now.

I'm inviting members of the forum here to join me on this journey and support this great cause. There are a couple of ways to do this:

• Come join me on March 15th for my "Prelim" competition at the Powerhouse bar. This is the first chance for the guys to compete, selling raffle tickets, grabbing crotches (with permission of course), answering embarrassing questions on stage, and of course stripping off their shirts. If you're here in the Bay Area, please join me as these things are really fun and entertaining. And for what it's worth, I'll have a tab open at the bar. The event starts at 8 pm and goes to about 10:00.
  

• Since this is a fundraiser, I've set up a gofundme page to start raising funds for the cause. The goal for each guy is to raise $300 for the Prelim, either before the event or by the end. Small contributions are welcome - the point is to get the ball rolling. Here is the link to the page: www.gofundme.com/nate-barechestcalendar.
  

Thanks for reading this far. I hope you'll join me on this journey and support this great cause!

Erotic message 150.00

serious inquiry's only please

That's a lot of cash just to do some sexting. I wonder how much he charges to unlock his private photo's?

For a young male Hollywood star, I was quite surprised how undeveloped his body was. Lean, but no tone or definition. Perhaps he was asked to lose a lot of weight to portray this character ? He appeared more "buff" on Glee.

My recollection from reports at the time was that Andrew Cunanan's body had been going to seed, and this had been upsetting to him. So perhaps they had Darren Criss get in shape/out of shape accordingly. But I sure wouldn't kick him out of bed (Criss that is, not Cunanan!).

Just watched the third episode, and really enjoyed Judith Light's performance. I have no idea if her depiction is faithful to the original Mrs. Miglin but she sure was entertaining!

Unfortunately I have yet to figure out the whole Bluetooth, computer, television thing. I hate to watch anything on my computer (tho it is large enough). The mail, on the other hand, I understand ( for the most part).

Roku is surprisingly easy to set up and use. Great for Netflix and the other streaming services.

Just finished watching The End of the F***cking World, really loved it. Quirky and very wry.

I'm a bit late to the party here but Happy Birthday!