nate_sf

I’ve tried to schedule something with him for the past two days. For whatever reason he’s unable or unwilling to commit to a time. Hopefully others have had better luck!

When I was younger and not yet out, I'd become attracted to or develop crushes on women from time to time. However I recognize some of the attraction was the idea of wanting a beautiful girlfriend and all that comes with it. I imagined us as a nice couple, that parents would approve of, and maybe even have some wonderful children. But was I sexually attracted to them? Yes to a degree, but not with the same intensity as I am attracted to men. More recently, even after having been out for many years, I will occasionally develop a crush or feel sparks with a woman. It might be that we've "clicked" in some way, and I enjoy her company. Interestingly, I went to a high school reunion recently and saw a woman who I had had a big crush on when we were kids. She looked fantastic and greeted me with a big smile, and I was taken aback a bit. I wanted to tell someone I had had such a big crush on her back in the day, but thought better of it. But also there was a guy there who I'd also had a crush on... he had not aged quite as well as my gal crush, but was still sexy as hell. Lots of mixed emotions there!

This is pretty interesting. But I'm not sure how much of the explanation might be overcompensation, versus making most of the choices available. For example, a lot of gay guys for whatever reason are lousy at sports. Why this is is anyone's guess, and it's not absolute, but it definitely applied to me growing up. So given I was lousy at sports, I focused on things that I was good at, which was academics. But what if I'd been good at sports? Would I have put more effort into team sports practice, and less on academics? Meanwhile, the world of sports has not generally been welcoming to gay people, whereas academia has been more so. Though like @Charlie, my venture into academia was largely influenced by my family. My grandfather was a college professor, and various aunts and uncles were either in academia or worked in the sciences, and my siblings and I were all very focused on school. As the youngest, I had a desire to equal or exceed the academic success of my siblings, and to gain the approval of my grandfather and relatives. So while I had (and still do to a degree) best little boy in the world syndrome, I think the overcompensation was based more on family competitiveness. But also the career path I chose required college, so I'm not sure how much sexuality had to do with going to college versus pursuing a particular career path. In undergrad I still thought I'd be dating women, and had crushes on a few women but the dating never amounted to anything. I was laser focused on academic achievement, so probably would not have wanted to be distracted by dating either a man or a woman. By the time I was in grad school I was out and dating men, but still academics took priority. I remember once meeting a hot guy at the pool, and he wanted to come over to my place, but I said I had to study. Oh geez, what was I thinking! But maybe that focus on academic achievement could maybe be tied to overcompensation for sexuality after all. I loved the thrill of doing well in college, and receiving praise for doing well. So maybe I liked that praise because I felt less good about myself as a person. So it's hard to tell how much gay guys having college degrees is a matter of self-selection, with choosing to follow career paths that require college, versus straight guys making other choices. I'm not sure it shows who is smarter though - I think it's more about what choices people make, and what choices they have available to them.

Bump and update... I've been thinking about the Saturday night part of this. In the past we'd gone to Secrets, but that's no more. How about a Saturday night bar crawl? Maybe just a few places, perhaps in the U Street gayborhood. If people like this idea and have suggestions for bars, chime in!

I have a relative who really likes Playa del Rey, which is a little beach town right next to the airport. She stays there whenever she has an early flight out of LAX; it has more personality than the airport hotels. Not to be confused with Marina del Rey, which is an antiseptic collection of highrises (but no judgement if that's your thing!). I don't have specific recommendations for Playa del Rey other than the hotel she stays at which is called the Inn at Playa del Rey As @rvwnsd mentions, Venice and Santa Monica are pretty close, especially Venice. Again, no specific recommendations, but these are both interesting places. Fourth Street in Santa Monica is a popular regional destination, sort of a cross between a vibrant downtown and an outdoor mall. Not sure if there are any specifically gay establishments in either Venice or Santa Monica, but there is plenty of eye candy.

This is my approach too. I'm not by any means wealthy, but I'm doing OK and like to be able to share the wealth to the extent I can. Personally I don't think service workers are paid enough, even with the increased minimum wages. The cost of living is high compared to wages, the work can be quite difficult, and turnover is high. Most I know in the service industry have more than one job to make ends meet, and many live in very crowded conditions at home. When I think of how much extra it costs me, in real terms, to tip more generously, it's usually just a matter of a few bucks here and there. Tip the friendly barrista a buck for just a cup of coffee? Maybe excessive, but it's just a buck for crying out loud. (And at the risk of this ending up in the Politics forum, I'm not trying to be political. I'm just talking about simple economics.) Restaurant margins are tight, so whereas it can seem the owners are just being cheap, it's also that they're trying to remain in business. If leaving good tips helps them retain their good employees, then that works for me. I'd hope the experienced waitstaff is there when I come back next time. But I'll admit I hate the QR codes too! I'm wondering how much might be that the restaurant got a hard sell from a vendor promising all kinds of great streamlining of their service. In my day job I get tons of these pitches, all promising nothing short of miracles. My favorite pizza place uses the QR code, digital menu, and ordering from the app, but at least a third of the time the order gets screwed up.

Yes, it will be happening! We hope to see familiar faces, as well as new ones. As with past DC gatherings, the weekend will span the MLK weekend, and coincide with Mid Atlantic Leather (MAL). Whether or not you're interested in leather, uniforms, jeans/t-shirt, etc., this is a fun weekend with lots of guys around. The MAL host hotel is dedicated exclusively to the event, and just taking in the scene in the expansive lobby can be enjoyable in itself. It's also a great opportunity to step out of your comfort zone if you're even the least bit curious in exploring something new and different. But for those of you who may not be interested in MAL or the leather scene, not to worry! Traditionally the DC gathering has coincided with MAL because it's a long weekend and many of us are in town, but the forum gathering is otherwise independent of the leather activities and is welcoming to all forum members. You may choose to sample some of the MAL activities, or go "whole-hog", or alternatively forgo them completely. That's up to you. The Events It will be pared down this year, with the focus on the most popular core events: Welcome Happy Hour – Friday early evening – Cocktail Hour at the Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) event. This is an informal kickoff to the weekend, dovetailing with MAL. Great for those attending MAL, or who may just be curious in checking out the scene. Leather and uniforms are welcome but not necessary; jeans and t-shirts are totally fine, or you could right from the office in your suit (for those who appreciate men in suits!). For those who want to stick around and eat, we’ll also grab a table at the hotel so we can saunter over and get some food while enjoying the eye candy. It's in the hotel lobby, so you don't need tickets to MAL to attend. The Brunch – This has been the main event, and has traditionally been on Sunday. This year we're going to switch it to Saturday for a change. It would allow people to meet each other at the brunch earlier in the weekend, and still have a chance to get together that evening and Sunday. It will also allow those participating in MAL to attend the Sunday MAL brunch. Saturday Night - The missing link is the Saturday night event, which used to be an excursion to Secrets. But Secrets is no more. So we'll keep an eye out for other fun and potentially raunchy events to go to instead. At the very least we can have a bar night. Suggestions are welcome! Accommodations Generally speaking, DC within “The District” (i.e., DC proper) is easy to get around on foot, Metro, cab/rideshare. The weekend’s events will be mostly in the Dupont Circle area (for the brunch) or at the Hyatt Capitol Hill (MAL Host hotel, within walking distance to Union Station), so anywhere near or between those locations will be convenient. Rooms at the MAL host hotel are already sold out, and they’re also sold out at most of the other hotels listed on the MAL website. But there are lots of hotels in the area, and just as many forum members are likely to be staying at other DC locations, including the Dupont Circle area. If you have a question about a particular hotel you’re considering, post the question in this thread and you’re likely to receive feedback. RSVP If you're interested in attending, please either: Visit the event page here on the Forum. On the left side of the page click "Going" or "Maybe." I'll follow up with a confirmation. Send me a direct message and I’ll add you to the list. The final itinerary will be sent via DM and email, but not posted here, so please be sure to RSVP. Questions and Suggestions If you have general questions or suggestions for the gathering, please add a reply to this thread or send me a PM. There is still plenty of time to plan things so interested in suggestions. Hope to see you there!

Many years ago I competed in one of their monthly rookies nights. And I won! But it was a slow night and there was only one other contestant, so the odds were pretty good. I felt bad for the other guy and have him a cut of my prize. That was the only time I'd stripped in front of an audience. They had each of us strip, then both of us did a round of lap dances with the audience. Lots of fun!

Nothing in SF, nothing, nada. Some gogo dancers in a few of the bars, but that's it.

I've had the same concerns, and wondering if it makes sense to do a gathering this year. But I think the basics are still available, with Annie's for brunch and meeting for happy hour at MAL on Friday. I've never registered for MAL itself but have had lots of fun going to some of the events a la carte. Anyone can come into the lobby and go to the bar, no registration needed. Losing Secrets/Zigfield's is a real bummer. That was one of my favorite parts of the weekend. It doesn't sound like there is anything to replace it. I've already got my flights and hotel so I'm committed to going, even if just a few of us meet up. Maybe this is a chance to mix it up a bit and try some new venues. Definitely open to other event or place suggestions!

I stayed at the Hyatt Regency once, and it was surprisingly quiet. With doors closed, you don't hear a lot, and people do go to sleep eventually. Maybe I was on a dunce floor, but I found it as quiet as any other hotel.

I admit I like the nonsexual conversations too. There is more of that on Cam4 than on Chaturbate. People from all over the world, and it can be fun just shooting the breeze.

You're right, I hadn't thought of that. Lots of chat comments from people (male and female) trying to attract viewers to their rooms.

Hey don't feel bad. If it's the one on E St SW it's a nice hotel. I stayed there last time. Unless it's really freezing, it's a nice walk across the mall over to the MAL Hyatt. But if you can cancel, see if you can find a room at one of the hotels nearby MAL. That's how I ended up at The George.

From time to time I'll do a broadcast on Chaturbate for fun. As the names of viewers scrolls down, I see there are a lot of women's names. But are they really women, or are they guys pretending to be women? Many of the names seem suspect, names like Candi, Ashlee, Cheri, etc. But then again my own username is pretty silly too. Just curious, does anyone know of women who watch cams like Chaturbate? Or is it all make-believe? Or maybe they're trans women? Doesn't matter to me one way or the other, just wondering.

You made it into the Hyatt? That's great! I was too slow to register this year so will be staying up the street at The George. Staying at the Hyatt is really fun. We haven't posted on this in a while but planning some Forum get togethers that weekend. I'm not sure how many people will be coming this year, but I'll be there and welcome meeting up with others!

I stayed at Santiago in 2019, and had it booked for 2020 until it had to be canceled. I really liked it. The grounds are beautiful, the rooms are really nice, and the staff was very friendly and helpful. Guests were friendly for the most part, and action was to be found if you were looking for it. This year I stayed at InnDulge because I wanted to be around other Forum members. I found that more fun, as I felt a bit alone at Santiago. Sure I met people there, but it's not the same as having people you know staying at the same resort. If others are interested in Santiago I'd be game! In any case, I'd recommend it.

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Right now the vaccination restrictions are on the local and county levels. Yesterday San Francisco's vaccine requirements became effective, which requires proof of vaccination for entering indoor bars, restaurants, gyms, and other crowded places. I went to my gym yesterday and had to show my vaccination card, and they entered it into their system so I only have to show it once. Interestingly, I received a notice from the gym earlier that said proof of vaccination would be required for all of their Northern California locations, not just SF where it's required by the local order. I'm guessing other businesses may go this route, either because it's easier to implement across the board rather than have a patchwork, or maybe they expect orders like this to expand to other areas in the future. It might also be a way to get customers back... I've noticed a drop in attendance at the gym, and at bars since the delta variant has taken hold and people have had to return to masking. I'll admit when I went to the gym yesterday I liked the idea that everyone in there was vaccinated (at least among customers... employees have an additional month to comply). So as much as it may seem the vaccine requirements might drive some customers away, conversely it might attract others to come back. But of course the vaccine cards are easy to forge. There has already been a booming cottage industry among college students, as many colleges and universities are requiring proof of vaccination to be on campus. It's just a piece of cardstock after all, and a blank card could be easily produced using a simple laser printer and card stock. However a forged card would not be able to be matched against a database.

I think this has a lot to do with what's going on. I've been involved with an OF group that has a bunch of guys doing naked yoga for the OF page. This week, the guy running the group reported that the page was deactivated until they provide for each and every model appearing on the page (1) a photo ID, (2) a signed release form, and (3) a photo of the model holding the ID and release form. OF also gave them language that they need to include on the release form. To me, this seems like the kind of stuff we've become accustomed to since FOSTA-SESTA, and would suggest a need for better record-keeping for OF to keep itself out of trouble. I'm sure the credit and bank issues are real as well, so they're being pinched from multiple directions. But it seems more palatable to blame the changes on the requirements of the creditors, rather than issues with consent documentation.

In addition to @Juan Vancouver, I liked @FrancoDiSantisxxx from the early days. Franco was here for just a few years, but at the time I was just starting escorting and I really appreciated his insights.

Ack! I'm not trying to be politically correct here, but this is just wrong. It's along the lines of saying that all short men suffer from the Napoleon Complex. These stereotypes are inaccurate and really damaging. I've worked for many women, including my current job. I've also worked for many men. Of all of them, some have been great managers and leaders, and some have been not as great. But no relation to gender. I like my current boss, and while she is tough, that is her job as director. She is also fair and ethical, and she has our backs. She is part of the reason I have stayed in the job as long as I have. My last supervisor was indeed fastidious and territorial to work with, so I know what that's like. He was a gay man. Take that for what it's worth. I would not attribute his qualities to other gay men; it was just him. But to answer your question, yes I've worked with lesbians on a number of occasions including currently. The HR director for my organization is a lesbian, and we get along very well. A few years ago I was on an interview panel, and my gaydar pinged on one of the women being interviewed. She reminded me of lesbian women I knew, and in her resume there was mention of playing on a women's softball team (and you know what that means, right?!?). But what was important was that she rocked the interview, and had the best skill sets of all of the interviewees. The panel was unanimous in choosing her. She has been an outstanding employee and is still with the organization. I never found out whether or not she is a lesbian; it doesn't and shouldn't matter. I am sympathetic to your concerns, as working with a difficult employee can be awful. I've had my share, and know how toxic it can be and how hard it can be to dismiss a troublesome individual. But of the difficult individuals I've worked with, there has been no pattern regarding gender, race, or sexuality. Jerks come in all stripes. A better approach to sussing out how someone might fit into the team is to check the references. While here in California and the US there are restrictions to what a past employer can say about a former employee, you can usually get a sense. That's at least a better approach than making judgements based on appearance or past experiences with others.