Archangel

…I wonder what would happen to my relationships if I started saying no more, if I were less available…

No face. Next to no description. Poor experience reported here.

Different strokes for different folks.

Thanks, @Markmark! Helpful!

I’m gay. I had enough issues with coming out publicly as gay. I’m not interested in men who aren’t gay…for real or for pay.

I’m seeing Seeking as the best alternative option to RM from this thread. I know I could wade through posts to find the answer to this, but please spare me your frustrated comments if you feel compelled to make them. If no one answers, okay. What exactly are the typical, reasonable expectations for a Seeking “relationship”—a term I use very broadly here? Is it an agreement that manifests itself as a longterm BFE? Something different? More? Less? My working assumption is it’s got to be different than “boyfriend for hire.” Because frankly, if I had a boyfriend, I would end up spending as much on dating over time as I do for my periodic hookups with escorts. Is there a cost-benefit reduction in compensation for the exchange of predictable security for the provider and ongoing access for the client? All questions asked with sincere curiosity and no judgement.

2-3 night BFEs

Young adult vitality is attractive; youthfulness, not so much. A guy needs to both look like he has and behave with a certain maturity that is more than teenager for me to want to open up and be vulnerable enough for the kind BFE encounters I book for. I’m not looking for pseudo-teens…Not a fantasy of mine at all. I’m happy about that too. Hell—a lot of guys under 30 actually aren’t even mature enough to hold a decent conversation, even if they outwardly look like young adults. I don’t want my eyes seeing a teenager when I’m trying to have a stimulating conversation or other activity.

I read things like this and wonder what’s wrong with me. This kind of thing never happens for me. It’s the stuff of porn and erotica, for me, anyhow. My life is so boring compared to yours and others’ here!

Milking the thirsty client for money.

If a guy makes it harder to have initial contact, what’s to say he’s not high maintenance in other regards? Like I said earlier, a very potential red flag. Stick to the center of the bell curve, and there shouldn’t be too much trouble. Anomalies arise, but that’s why they’re anomalies.

Not saying bye to you, Bob. The escort 🙄 I’ll go back and forth with you and florid language as much as you engage. You feed my inner troll 🧌

@SirBillybob, long and short, it shouldn’t be difficult to get in touch with someone offering a service. Make whatever rationalizations you want to excuse the provider (who has a prerogative to setup business however he chooses) but at the end of the day, it’s a largely unnecessary speed bump, as you term it, to make communication more cumbersome than to ease it. I don’t have all the time in the world to play games or march in parades, rain or shine, so if the provider is going to add extra layers of difficulty to getting in touch, bye, Felicia. But you do you.

I smell rationalizing and excuse-making for poor behavior…Why do we need to excuse things we don’t find especially savory? It’s almost like if the provider does it, it’s acceptable. But if the client does it, it’s burdensome or bothersome. These guys aren’t gods. They are allegedly businessmen and some of them have ridiculous business expectations. It’s good to call a spade a spade… Everything here puts the onus on the client. Imagine a contractor who has a website. But doesn’t give an address. No phone number. No email. But there are up-to-date reviews from clients and the contractor has recent info about work done and maybe even some pictures. If they have no way that makes it easy to get in touch with them by conventional means, they have a really queer business model, to say the least. It’s so silly you probably think the scenario is absurd to the point of not happening. And that’s why this notion also applies to escorts who put up hurdles to getting in touch with them for business.

A potential provider who puts his OF prominently in the ad falls in likelihood for me reaching out. I find that hugely offputting.

This. And it irks the living hell out of me. It’s not the primary function of the site – if a function at all. It also conveys to me the client that offering a satisfactory service isn’t the provider’s primary objective but rather satisfying their own concerns. I’m the means to that ends.

When a provider makes it difficult to contact according to the typical ways, it disinclines me to contact them at all. It’s almost a red flag. What are they so worried about? (Spare me the list. I know the risks etc.) If they can’t handle the eventuality of dealing with unpleasantness or other issues around this enterprise, then I’m not interested in investing in them. There’s already enough hassle without added hoops to satisfy whatever reasons a provider has for complicating communication.

Helping me with my gin nightcap after a looooooong day

It’s that kid glove approach that sometimes keeps me from saying I’m a faithful Christian - even if Jesus says if I deny him he’ll deny me. (Mea culpa. Kyrie eleison!) I appreciate you not wanting to offend. I do. But not every Christian is offended by an advance! I have never been advanced upon, by a woman or a man, and that’s independent of them knowing my religious disposition. Now add that if they did know, that would add yet another layer of barrier. Yikes!

At some point, I don’t enjoy paying too much even for a luxury or fantasy. Even if I can afford it, I don’t like feeling like I’m getting ripped off or used. “Taken advantage of” might suggest I actually can’t afford it, but still. At some point the r value received does not match the value given. At that point, I don’t enjoy it – even if it is good. And that’s independent of ability to pay or not. That could just be my personality, but there you have it.

I have because I pay up front.

Better living through pharmaceuticals.

@BuffaloKyle, check out the link to the search results I provided above. 53 options to wade through.

At first, on the heels of your remark about money, I thought you were going to say a significant portion struggle with money management. I’m always so surprised how these guys who make multiple hundreds of dollars per hour and sometimes more than I make in a month for two or three day arrangements never seem to be able to get stabile financially. The substance abuse may play into that…

It’s not just the Abrahamic traditions that censure masturbation.