DWnyc

The same warped logic that says providers are a species apart and one can never negotiate with them even if they initiate it while we do on many other situations on a dailY basis. These are business transactions whatever else we may like to believe they are in addition. Business rules apply. Service provided upon agreed terms - payment due immediately if not already paid. Shouldn’t be any ambiguity. If either party doesn’t like the terms - don’t see it through to the transaction.

You could still run out the door, have IT issues with not enough cash on you etc - the session is already over with payment due

I remember seeing a provider in London during pride who reprimanded me for being with him and not marching (the session was a few blocks from the main March). It was sitcoms-esque - I asked if he wanted me to leave, he said he didn’t care but I owed him the donation etc

Instead of surveying us, why don’t providers curious as to competitor rates contact those providers they consider peers in their target geographies anonymously and generate their own research first hand? Would save strawmen theories, conjecture on who is cheap and deserves to die etc As with the other dead horse subjects (deposits, photos etc) - providers don’t need our validation from here - try whatever you want and if it works for you, great! But just stating how some want the market to be here won’t automatically make it so.

Yes, if an escort is not only Wise but also a good person Some can use it to manipulate and drag things out in a horrible direction Though I can’t help Feeling it’s with the clients permission … maybe like the “findom” (and what the hell is it) discussion on here recently

Clearly you have capacity and perhaps need for something missing in your life - but this is not the place to seek it. Invest time in online dating (not hookups) and out yourself out there. At worst you’ll be exactly where you are now. The hobby can perhaps give you an aspirational scenario of how things might be - and hopefully you can extract what’s realistic vs unlikely. And remember the provider or anyone seeking others to hookup with regularly isn’t necessarily driven by the emotions you claim to feel.

Many in the online hookup world have a policy of no repeats precisely for this reason - they don’t want to form relationships with people they meet this way yet a degree of fantasy can lead one or both to assume something is there or could be eventually. So nip it in the bud.

You’re self aware - that blunts much of whatever downside there might be

I haven’t but I’ve had encounters cut short no doubt based on my reaction and lack of endurance - not paid encounters mind you

Not trying to be funny but why not ask for that when setting up the appointment - it will be roleplay for many but they may be good at it …

Ah how far we are from the days when a glance at church across the pews would mean just a few meetings away from being affianced …

Perhaps the profession just exposes the emptiness of what we consider real life Me, I’d judge providers’ ethics not in this kind of situation - but on things like: delivering what is agreed, not short changing on time or overcharging because one can, being discreet when coming across identifiable information, not underperforming if faced with a client they are not attracted to (while still taking all donations) etc. All else is noise unless the core is solid without question

Except that’s not how real life goes for many if not most clients when it comes to the hobby Not to mention the lack of reliability of many providers on this front as well

The generation after that doesn’t even offer an attempt at an excuse … move on to the next option that satisfies your needs - it may be this guy it may not be …

I can understand not wishing to be drawn into drama, complications in public if you run into people you know etc. But where does “deception” / fantasy etc that is part of the hobby end before it becomes problematic? Or said another way what is ethically permissible? If a client said (one on one in a paid session) they thought you were really hot, you were amazing etc etc - but you didn’t feel anything like that about him - would you keep totally quiet? That might end the session or hold back a future one … but wouldn’t saying something complimentary then clash with some ethics if untrue for you?

Not the only provider I’ve interacted with on these sites without knowing that at the time. Even when they’ve seemed in regular person mode it hasn’t always been pleasant.

He’s approached me several times on online hookup sites. The first couple of times we went through the motion of unlocking pics then he would go silent so I assumed it wasn’t a match (and didn’t realize he was a provider). When he approached me the last time - with my pics from the last exchange visible - I told him not to contact me again since he had a pattern of ghosting and as I found it especially rude that he did it upon seeing my pics. He got terse very quickly. And reached out a few weeks later as if we’d never spoken … I didn’t reply. I then put two and two together recognizing his pic on RM. Don’t know if the hookup site outreach from him was searching for clients and I missed the clues (hence the silence) but whether as a hookup or a paid experience the behavior was off-putting enough for me to keep away. Re the weight - that’s not hidden in his pics unless there’s more since then.

Have had the same experience several times. Esp for newer providers or those starting a new profile from scratch.

Overall I wonder if many of us relax whatever criteria we may have (often through having been burnt) - if the guy is (to us) … hot. Not trying to be funny ..,

If only real life could be as well choreographed as pornography

Each provider may have his own circumstances and preferences. I’ve typically found they welcome during the day bookings as it can be a quiet time for them otherwise, and they’re doing other things at night like filming for their OnlyFans or going on Grindr to find people they actually want to fool around with themselves 😉

Actually I’d disagree - not a two way street on the issue of requiring photos as not a regular hookup. In the same way that a client shouldn’t expect payment from a provider for any reason …

As others have said , even if there were such a thing as commonly accepted “hideous” (there isn’t) most providers (especially the good ones) wouldn’t care as they’re there to make money. Some would add they’re there to provide a service - take that as you will. If it’s for reasons specific to you upon seeing your photo - f*** him, he’s trying to monetize his hookup life and only idiots would pay if they could see through it. The provider experience is different and you should enjoy your ability to do so - don’t be disheartened and especially in New York you’ll find someone worthy of you choosing to exchange your valuable time and resources for the valuable experience they provide.

Except me 😉

And as we have often discussed on this forum - Grindr is converging with RM in many ways 😉