DWnyc

I would caveat saying on this issue the client and provider risk profiles are different and that guidance is really for providers. If anything clients often seek out providers because they want this aspect of their lives discreet. Without even contacting a provider, if they list a phone number or have a picture I can likely figure out who there are in real life if I put my mind to it using publicly available tools. And vice versa for a provider with my details. I don’t need to be contacted proactively. They do.

As always, do what you want, and good for you if you can get it to work, Most people here have views on this that are unlikely to change. But please remember, if you’re saying a client should understand the cost of a hotel room if you pay comes out of your fees (technically it’s your expense line in general, not just applied against their fees per se) if you shift some or all of that to the client it adds to their fees in the same way. If there are alternatives (eg in a large city like mine) that alone will kill your odds. Maybe with less or no competition in the areas you often describe you have more leverage but you also talk generally about problems getting clients to show up, book etc - that hit rate doesn’t increase typically when you raise effective prices,

The first time can be great - prompting a second time which isn’t. I feel in this hobby there’s an element of the terming they give on investments - “past performance is no indicator of future returns” One more thing. As often discussed here or rather it’s there to see if you read between the lines on some posts - what may be a memorable experience for you (good or bad) may be totally forgotten by the provider given the imbalance in volume of interactions. Make note of fundamental character issues which likely won’t change, but other things may be situation specific.

Future posts on this forum: “potential clients who never have intention of hiring waste my time asking me all these stupid questions …” 😊

The best interactions have mutual respect where everything falls into place from that. There are underlying faultlines in the provider-client dynamic for some (not all) - and things can escalate quickly whether directly or indirectly.

On the subject of moonlighting while on the job … One memorable proactive marketing message I received from a provider I’d seen a few times and hadn’t reengaged- went something like: “I’m with a guy for a week - a whole week! That’s how much I’m in demand! But he falls asleep after we play for a good few hours … so if you want a phone or video session I’d be up for that …”

I’ve never engaged more than a couple of hours - and have wondered how people can stand each other for more than that - in the hobby dynamic. In ”real life” people need breaks from each other even in the most upbeat / passionate scenarios. Otherwise the mood can sour quickly. Or maybe I’m just annoying to be with more than a couple of hours 😊

Good for you if you have a sustainable business model relative to your goals with that approach. And I like that you take a long term (eg repeat client focused) approach on this issue. Many providers think (but likely haven’t tested) that lying / claiming to be much younger is better for business. I suspect many clients will continue engage for a session once they meet in person - not necessarily walk out or verbally raise the issue - but not rebook.

Even when the RM default is often “ask me” …? 😊

He could outcompete some 39 year olds in my geography

But maybe on our respective RM profiles, if we had them, my … congeniality … would be bigger than yours 😊

Those poor 21 year olds just out of college and overworked at their consulting firms … and having to understand your business model thoroughly, trying out all the products and services before they can put together their analysis …

Easier said than done. In order to survive in my job let alone maintain working relationships in my personal life there is an element of having to be perennially optimistic and concise when my unguarded self would prefer to curse, cry, or go off on a monologue about my mood. Most cultures in the world have standard greetings that are statements rather than questions. “Peace unto you” and the like. In America we ask “How are you doing?” and yet we don’t really have time or interest to stick around for a genuine answer.

With the different legal status of the hobby in Europe - I wonder if the management consulting firms have descended on the industry yet for best practices recommendations! Would be an interesting analysis from McKinsey or Deloitte! Or maybe @Jamie21 and @Simon Suraci can start a new advisory business based on their expertise! (In data management, that is🤗)

Or integrity

I don’t mind a provider contacting me as long as they do so with a tone that makes it clear they are curious to see what my interests may be, offer to help me with answers to questions I may have. I turned the feature off because of one very aggressive escort in New York (and his behavior on this issue was discussed on this forum). One look - not 80 views - resulted in a slew of direct and increasingly aggressive mails. Even with no response from me the tone shifted to “I don’t have all day …” and “what, you think I’m not good enough for you?’. That I didn’t like. If you’re a provider reaching out to me, show humility and recognize the dynamic where we are potentially exchanging things we both want, you’re not saving me from eternal outcast status and I’m not an ATM machine for you.

What else would we talk about then?

I don’t think you can post a picture on MrN. but maybe you can on some of the private networks some providers have discussed.

Well no … when you’re competing against embellishers… if you don’t embellish, you’re screwed as people will discount your honest answer by the industry standard. And assume the “worst” if there’s no answer.

And the latest excuse: “sorry … I’m still on set for my only fans project”

But of course being “honest” would reduce probability of these encounters taking place at all Swipe right takes just a second - the pool of potential matches for anything is greater than it has ever been, but so is the ability to filter out with ever increasing complexity

I guess like a restaurant or bar a provider has different ebbs and flows in numbers and different demographics at different times. A provider I know next to one of the main commuter stations in and out of the city where I live says his best time is 5-7pm on a weekday before men take the train back to the suburbs.

Until the hobby is legalized in the US there probably isn’t much that can be done to breach some key deficiencies in vetting specific to the trade (eg anonymity preferences by many if not most clients and even some providers means a telephone number may be all someone has to go on). And so those needing something like this will have to rely on 3rd party apps designed for a different purpose, perhaps, for the time being.

In parallel elsewhere on here we have ongoing discussions on background checks of clients and providers. Given the information publicly available (and non public information that is easily accessible) it’s not that hard to find out real age for some providers. I discovered someone I was considering was 51 when checking for something else, though his RM profile said 35. As I looked at his pics more closely I remember thinking he does look like he’s aged a little fast for 35 … but he looks pretty great for 51! And reinforced when I met him in person. The other info that is often fudged - organ size for instance - is harder to check beforehand. Though I did once see a 2 inch difference between what was claimed on someone’s online hookup site profile and their RM profile - age height and weight were the same.

I once freaked out a provider when we were chatting as he was describing how his providing work paid for his travels and he walked me through a recent example and I pointed out from what he described he actually made a considerable loss. I also pointed out the lack of logic in one provider’s “I’m not budging” position in a negotiation by taking him through the financial impact on him based on how he laid out his position and why what I was offering was better - and he literally almost burst into tears as he admitted he could see how he had lost maybe thousands of dollars over the years with his approach. absolutely not saying I was smarter than these guys - just that they had the data themselves (I was using it!) but not collating and managing it for their own benefit