NyGold

On 9/5/2023 at 7:25 PM, Nodalguy said:

Ahh, I didn't think of that because I don't have any subscriptions through my phone's app store. (I use Android, but it's pretty much the same. Just when I pulled up the subscriptions it was empty.) Thanks!

Sometimes free trials don’t show up in subscriptions (until it’s no longer free)

On 9/5/2023 at 5:09 AM, LookingAround said:

In the gay community I know, condom utilization is close to zero. 

You wouldn’t think it taking a poll of some of the lecturing voices on this forum 

I personally do like protection in provider client situations and I seek providers sometimes precisely because I can control that part of an encounter which I definitely can’t in a hookup where that can be a deal breaker 

18 hours ago, Archangel said:

Or put another way, entitled to a guy’s money simply because a guy reaches out.

Or put more crudely, sees clients as nothing more than ATMs. I was going to say human ATMs, but such guys don’t really see us as human.

Calling them providers is also laughable because they really only take. I’ve dealt with those types and if I sense it while attempting to book, it’s a pass. If it turns out I was duped, they generally offer a shitty experience and they’re definitely not a repeat. 

Well it goes both ways, clients can be shitty too and maybe we collectively punish people for others’ bad behavior 

On 9/4/2023 at 9:46 AM, Luv2play said:

I'm just the opposite. Most 21 yo don't have a clue about what makes for good sex. Wam bang is their style. 

With age and experience one can become a maestro. Or not. But the good 30 something year olds can't be beat, imo

But each to his own. Thank God.

Remember your point about the good 30 year olds when you’re a good 40 year old and more …

On 9/6/2023 at 7:32 AM, Pensant said:

I absolutely do not send photos to newbies. One cutie and I texted about a meetup until he “required” my pics. It wasn’t an angry response. He said he does it for verification purposes and I replied that yes, everyone has their own process. I could’ve asked another provider who knows him to vouch for me, but perhaps I’ll do that when we meet later this month.

That’s often where the process breaks down for some (unless they realize they’ll lose the client entirely and therefore the revenue)

Because you’re not typically solving a problem of him needing to feel safe … you’re providing him info he feels he needs on you for other purposes than what he states

On 9/6/2023 at 1:43 AM, MikeBiDude said:

One more positive note on my iPhone Burner app that I was just need reminded of. It works great with WhatsApp! I'm finding more and more providers and potential friends from seeking.com are happy to switch our messaging to WhatsApp. And no green "bubble" messages which seem to offend some people 🤷🏻‍♂️

Those offended by the green bubble will test your number from WhatsApp and still not be happy - they don’t want your color to be blue per se, they want your name and address (and where you work, contact info for the closest people in your life etc)

11 hours ago, JTtorretto said:

No no no, dont blame the guy.  
 

Blame the "helpful" receptionist who clearly "threw you under the bus" once her work was checked over by her supervisor and she was asked why she didnt have a copy of your ID (she told her supervisor that you refused as she couldn't tell them the truth as it'd reflect negatively on her failing to do her job properly). 
 

tell the dude the trurh, of what she advised you and what happened.

I don’t blame the guy other than he didn’t warn me the expectation was someone working for the City in a building run by the government would take a copy of my ID. Had I known that I likely wouldn’t have made the appointment in the first place. 

I once met a provider at his place in an SRO facility (often used for people with disabilities and low income). Typically you have to show Id to enter if not a resident. He didn’t tell me about this when he gave me the address.

WhileI  was annoyed, I figured I’d gone all the way over, and made a commitment to come without prepayment, so I should honor the appointment.

The lady processing visitors leaned forward and said “I don’t know what your business is with X but you should know he comes down sometimes to ask for names and details of the people we sign in - and we’re not supposed to do that but some people on the shift will give it to him - so if you care about that, I’ll let you in without taking a copy” … -I again thought of leaving but  took her up on that and went up. Everything good - no mention of this- left a nice tip which provider was surprised by and said most don’t, said I should look him up whenever I wanted etc - all good.

The next day I got a stern text from him “what are you trying to hide?” - he claimed I got him in trouble by visiting without showing my id and not letting the front desk take a copy. Didn’t make sense as why would he get in trouble if I or someone at the front desk had done something wrong. 

The only explanation I can think of is he wanted my details and couldn’t get them from the front desk as the lady had waived me through without taking them.

This incident certainly increased my alertness to the need to maintain control of my info. 
 

Providers use burner numbers too. Insisting on a non-burner for comms speaks to alarms being raised about the intention of the person asking for it. 

Im fine if my provider pool is smaller because of my use. I have no trouble completing my dance card without surrendering that privacy.  

@Jamie21thanks for enlightening me

so I have more sympathy if the escort complaint about time wasting through questions is about this …

but I’d ask then what’s the success rate from this type of engagement for a further booking as if it’s low why indulge them in the first place? 

but I’ll double down on my resentment at providers getting snippy with me then for time wasting given my questions are only on rates, logistics, a clinical questioning of what might be involved - as in comparison I’m totally “clean” 

Maybe I’m naive … but what texting (sexting ) happens other than discussing rates, schedules prior to a paid meet?

5 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

I'm not sure what your point is. My point is that clients who bitch about this are cringe. it's beyond their control, so they can move on. 

They are moving on … the OP can’t understand why 

2 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

Do you need an online stranger to lecture to? I'm sorry you're this unhappy. 

I don’t think I’m the one here needing online targets … 

3 hours ago, NJF said:

Age may be part of the problem. Gays are the worst ageists. One of my friends just posted on facebook that he felt like 58 in gay ages lol because he just turned 29

There’s a reason one of my favorite guys in my geography is also one of the least expensive. He came to his senses and realized he couldn’t get away with claiming to be south of 40 when he was visibly north of 50. He has also started selling mortgages and life insurance in addition to his former primary work, and I admire his foresight and being nimble. 

The idea that we are entitled — entitled — to more just by hanging around without increasing perceived value in the market - is at the root of many problems facing our economic society. 

3 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

More often than not clients aren’t reasonable. If a provider has been working for a decade or more as the OP has its reasonable to expect a price increase. 

The OP can set his price at whatever he wants. He is the producer, marketer, distributor, retailer. However he is not the purchaser, and he can’t force people to hire him, either at the price he wants or at any other rate.  Just as no one can force him to deliver service at a price he doesn’t like.

A client can be rude in response to sticker shock, demand a reduction etc and be clueless about what it takes to get to the finished product  — but not get anywhere with that and walk away … and that’s his right too.

If the price setter for one product doesn’t (choose to) realize that prices for everything at every stage of the value chain (including at the client end) are also increasing and that his supposed hardships are not solely faced by him, there isn’t much more a supportive community can do to help after many repeated efforts reiterating similar messages. 

What else are we talking about here? I have no idea. 
 

We’re human … in real life as well as in the hobby we may filter based on more “base” criteria … “ but who will I be comfortable with” is probably the most important question.

It’s also why even before meeting in person the interaction / questions stage can be important. Picture the nervous clients described here on text with a provider losing patience with someone as a booking isn’t confirmed in a nanosecond.

2 hours ago, TorontoDrew said:

Just a reminder, I'm told by someone I trust that these guys are a great hire.  In this case, the customer service was lacking.

Well they may have been for the other person - who may have been more compatible with their unprofessional criteria.

Just as in real life - some providers may treat some people differently based on age / body type / race / socio-economic status etc. Someone having a great experience doesn’t mean another will. 

Good providers can read body language, read between the lines, and adjust immediately to what “act” works best with which client.

Not that different from real life - even in a hookup as opposed to a relationship - you do better if you constantly recalibrate based on the other persons comfort, needs as they express them, your drawing out those expressions etc

1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

Like dude, I’m 36 now. Were you making the same at 36 as you were at 21? For fucks sake, recognize the value of the service. My services hasn’t gone done in quality. At all. At all. 

That’s the wrong question to ask and the wrong way to frame it.

It should be “what had you learnt, how much greater value could you bring etc - validated by promotions, increased responsibility, or your own ability to successfully close more / higher value deals  by the age of 36 that justified a higher salary compared to when you were 21” 

No one should be rewarded just for hanging around. 

And you saying your quality hasn’t gone down (you may be right) doesn’t mean anything if the market doesn’t recognize where you position yourself. 

On 8/31/2023 at 5:03 PM, ICTJOCK said:

I’ve discovered that the conversation is part of the “experience “ and it turns them on.  Doesn’t mean they won’t book you, butI kind of wonder.  I usually curtail the conversation at some logical point.  The other reason is they are inexperienced and uncertain.  I’d rather pass at some point.

If it doesn’t mean they wont book you per your comment, and if it’s not actual “sexting” maybe it’s something providers do need to incorporate more into their time and effort for marketing themselves (ie develop more tolerance).

I assumed it was to get the clients number (which can be as anonymous as theirs can be so don’t really see the advantage) and to talk about things (eg rates, party products etc) that they think safer on app or private phone.

and maybe laziness as they don’t want to re-enter client info into their phone or other CRM system in case they get booted from RM

You can’t demand compensation from the universe for what you think you deserve. 

You can aim for it and do what you can (produce and market it). But no one is obligated to write you a blank check per your own calculation of your monetary worth.

On 8/31/2023 at 1:39 PM, Nodalguy said:

I think every "ask me" and definitely every "anything goes" provider has gone bareback with me, even without discussing it in most cases (but my profile makes it, or anyway did make it, fairly clear that it's fine by me). I've had some "safe only" guys approach me offering BB as well, and one I met up with who I am pretty sure stealthed me.

I don’t understand. If you say it was clear in your profile that anything goes guy going bb with you is fine, why would you be in a stealthing situation (I assume you mean you asked for condom and he didn’t comply)?

Out of curiosity how are the saunas doing in Toronto? Before covid I remember during a visit thinking they were so much better than those in the us … cleaner and more lively. Has covid changed that? 

I think it’s all interconnected these days. On OF and Twitter I’ve seen links back to the Rentmen profile. And on Twitter a post showing a NSFW pic with a caption like “who wants this today …” but it’s clearly not about hooking up (for free).

Regarding the auto responses - I don’t believe providers don’t have time to check or don’t bother since that’s a potential source of income. I suspect they prefer moving conversations to text as soon as possible off the site.