APPLE1

At the outset, let me say I want to be empathetic and supportive of people with whatever issues they have. I don’t think Celiac disease or gluten intolerance is fake. So let’s get that out of the way.
I had a friend visit for four days. We hadn’t seen each other since before the pandemic. She comes and before she comes she sends me an email with various dietary concerns that I need to be aware of as far as her Celiac disease and milk sensitivity (not lactose). Okay. Noted. She also has a dog dandruff allergy. Noted. I had my house cleaners over to do a deep clean, especially of her room, since I have a dog and three cats. I told them about her Celiac disease and the dog issue and that they needed to be extra attentive to the kitchen and the room she would be using.
She arrives. Proceeds to hang over my shoulder the whole I’m making duck, brussel sprouts, and oven roasted potatoes – intentionally GF. As I’m cooking, she gets in the cabinet under my sink and starts spraying down the counter and wiping it down. Lunch the next day she eats the soup and CUCUMBER she brought along and not the squash soup I made special without gluten or milk product…When it’s time to buy things for breakfast, “Make sure the bacon is gluten free.” How could I possibly forget?! I got one that was GF but – aha! – color added! I could eat but she wouldn’t. We could have leftovers Saturday night, she says. Now – I don’t do leftovers except for lunch or when I’m in a hurry in the evening. If I can cook, I cook. I tell her she can have leftovers; I’m having grilled salmon, macaroni and cheese (without a roux because I’m aware that opening a flour bag could make flour particles with gluten airborne) and spinach. She about shit because I was going to use gluten pasta. I told her the gluten wouldn’t jump up and attack her.
I work with a woman who has Celiac disease but you‘d never know it because she doesn’t broadcast it. But my friend makes her whole life about it, or at least our visit revolved around it. There must be two types of people with gluten issues. Those who deal with it themselves and try to go on with their lives and those who expect the rest us who don’t have gluten issues to live just like them if we’re going to be in any kind of relationship with them.
The past four days made me seriously consider if I’m really that difficult a person to live with, set in my ways, if I should give up ever thinking about a partnership relationship. I felt a bit gaslit to be honest. But upon reflection, while I have strong preferences and routines and habits, I don’t think this was all me.
What did people do before Celiac disease became so widely known about? It’s been known for a long time, but it seems only recently has it risen to a forefront concern like providing non-alcoholic options for folks who can’t have alcohol. If you ate gluten before everyone and their brother knew about Celiac disease or gluten issues, what happened? No snark intended (well, maybe a little).
Any thoughts? Am I being crotchety? 

I’ve noticed that in general, people who live alone have a whole lot more ajita about everything and bring that bandwidth with them when visiting others. Partnered people are more used to toning their excesses. The Celiac thing is her way of expressing her specialness. It’s not you…in the future keep the visits short. 

Where was that scientific theory published?

You can game the system indefinitely, especially if you pool resources. I mean really, we have  many posts here about the " Murray Hill Gang." How difficult would it be for several providers to kick money into a pool and fund memberships for people who do nothing but write great reviews.

Given the number that don't kiss, thank god current guidelines only call for chest compressions!

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.
For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."
My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

or get their negative reviews removed, it happened to me twice and I closed my account n RM because of that. 

There are also providers who, after delivering a poor performance, immediately block the client to prevent them from leaving a negative review.

It's important to recognize that relying solely on RM reviews isn't advisable. Providers can inflate their review numbers. If you search this site, you'll find several threads discussing this topic.
I do read reviews and often reach out to reviewers directly. I'm cautious when I see multiple reviews from the same person for a single provider. I also look out for accounts that have only one review and were created on or just before the review date. Personally, I tend to avoid leaving negative reviews unless there's a significant issue, like a scam or a major problem. I'm sure many others share this approach. Therefore, the absence of negative reviews for a provider doesn't necessarily reflect their quality.
I've hired providers with many 5-star reviews and had less than memorable experiences, and I've also hired providers with few or no reviews and had great experiences.

Hard to tell. This is only me, but I use reviews for seeing patterns and fakeness. When the reviews are real, you start seeing themes that can give you a notion of what you could expect. That many 5-star reviews could happen, but I'd be concerned of those being real.
I get more from the initial conversation, trying to be specific (although sometimes it does feel strange being very specific, my issue). Also, aside from reviews there's this forum where we can discuss providers and people can share some of their knowledge of a particular provider. If he has that many reviews, high chances are that at least one pf the participants in this forum can provide some insights.

Sounds like more of a green flag than a red flag.
Only caveat is when there's only a handful of people giving those reviews.  That's how a druggie managed to stay on RM so long a few years ago.

Given the number that don't kiss, thank god current guidelines only call for chest compressions!

This is true and well said. Empathy, in my experience, is not 'seeing inside' someone, it's not 'knowing something somehow'. It IS using your whole sensing self, it is offering to the other your sense of them and checking to see if it fits their sense. Lots of human ways to do that. It is always being open and willing to be corrected in the living presence of another, to be wrong, to learn about a separate conscious person. Empathy is not for the faint hearted, but it's what we have.

One of the valuable things I learned here (I believe in a post from @Jamie21) was that profiles on websites aren't just for providers. MY client profile is a great place to share what I think is important about me and our potential encounter. I list right up front what activities I am looking for.
It's been great for efficiency! Often with initial communication the provider immediately opens the topic to "I can do X," OR "I do not do X."

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.
For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."
My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

Given the number that don't kiss, thank god current guidelines only call for chest compressions!

While never having children, I have seen my share raised by family, friends, and peers. I've witnessed children of the same generation behave very differently. I think @DWnyc and @DrownedBoy both hit the nail on the head.
Empathy is certainly the skill that allows people to be respectful and understanding of other's differences and sacrifices.
But lack of empathy is far from simply "generational" or a "symptom" of youth. Like most everything in life, empathy is learned skill. Children who are raised poorly are going to take most things for granted when they leave the home they were raised in. I assume it will take another 10 to 20 years for them to learn that skill. While children who are raised well have a good foundation for empathy, and they continue to further develop that skill for a long time.

One of the valuable things I learned here (I believe in a post from @Jamie21) was that profiles on websites aren't just for providers. MY client profile is a great place to share what I think is important about me and our potential encounter. I list right up front what activities I am looking for.
It's been great for efficiency! Often with initial communication the provider immediately opens the topic to "I can do X," OR "I do not do X."

I guess I didn't read the post to mean "I am on vacation, and it's always miserable UNLESS I arrange a meeting with a provider."
I read it to mean "I am stuck on vacation with my insufferable in-laws. They're driving me nuts and ruining vacation. Can anyone suggest a provider here so I can escape for a few hours and enjoy myself?"

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.
For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."
My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.
For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."
My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.
For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."
My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.
For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."
My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

I don’t think you understand how math (or Russian Roulette for that matter) works, but good luck. 

Statistics aren’t shaming and they don’t care about your feelings. They’re facts.
Sex is always a game of Russian Roulette. I’m just pointing out how many bullets are in the chamber.
Best of luck.