Ever Been Mistaken For Another Gender?

[+ Avalon]

I am resigned to it. I had a sister and had wanted to grow old with her but she died (suicide) over 30 years ago. I have not seen her children - one has since died and none have children - since last century and no other relatives since my father's funeral in 2000.

 

The one friend I am still in contact is worse off that I am. She is older than I am, She had a stroke in 2002 and is in a nursing home in another state.

[+ purplekow]

I am resigned to it. I had a sister and had wanted to grow old with her but she died (suicide) over 30 years ago. I have not seen her children - one has since died and none have children - since last century and no other relatives since my father's funeral in 2000.

 

The one friend I am still in contact is worse off that I am. She is older than I am, She had a stroke in 2002 and is in a nursing home in another state.

It does not sound as though you have anything holding you to where you are now. Consider moving to a state with greater benefits than the one you have now. I have sent you some advise on a PM but there is nothing prohibiting a move to another states or county for benefits. Resignation is not a pretty color. I suggest you rage against the dying of the light and work to make the time you have left as comfortable and exciting as you can. Others have done it, you can too I am sure if you put yourself to work making sure it happens.

[+ Avalon]

It does not sound as though you have anything holding you to where you are now. Consider moving to a state with greater benefits than the one you have now. I have sent you some advise on a PM but there is nothing prohibiting a move to another states or county for benefits. Resignation is not a pretty color. I suggest you rage against the dying of the light and work to make the time you have left as comfortable and exciting as you can. Others have done it, you can too I am sure if you put yourself to work making sure it happens.

 

I've said that I have a friend in a nursing home in another state. I checked to see what the non emergency medical transport would be from here to there. $7500. Too dear for me.

[+ Charlie]

What keeps standing out to me in your posts is your social isolation, which goes hand in hand with your physical inaction. Is there a senior center near you that you could attend? Do you have interests or hobbies that would get you out of the house to mingle with others? This is a great site for communicating with a variety of people, but it is not a substitute for interacting with flesh and blood human beings. Even a sedentary activity like playing cards or Bingo with other people would be good for you. The aid of responsible professionals is necessary for most of us, but you need the social support of friends as well, and not just "Internet friends." You sound like an interesting person, but a rather shy and passive personality. You may need to exert yourself more than is normally comfortable for you, even possibly volunteer in some capacity that doesn't require much physical activity. The best thing that my partner did when he stopped working, which had been the source of most of his friendships, was to volunteer to lead a reading group for people recovering from a stroke that affected their language skills. People don't have to be professionals, nor hale and hearty, to help one another.

[+ sniper]

Avalon, do you really truly need medical transport, or just someone who can help you in and out of the car and ride with you? There are people who do such things.

[Rudynate]

Also consider occupational therapy, which despite the name is much more about function than work, if your upper body (neck, shoulders, arms, hands, wrists) is affected. I have lower and upper body issues, and occupational therapy was more helpful for the upper body issues than physical therapy ever was. I even had a physical therapist do work that screwed me up so badly I had to return to occupational therapy for relief.

 

I didn't find physical therapy that helpful when I was rehabbing from spine surgery. I worked one-on-one with a Pilates instructor who had a rehab credential - much more useful.

[+ sniper]

I didn't find physical therapy that helpful when I was rehabbing from spine surgery. I worked one-on-one with a Pilates instructor who had a rehab credential - much more useful.

 

Physical therapy has improved by leaps and bounds fairly recently. I would highly recommend going to one who got their training in the last few years versus an older one. And Physical therapy really needs to be one-on-one, not at one of those places where they are seeing four other patients in the same hour slot as you and just sort of "overseeing" as opposed to treating you.

[Guy Fawkes]

Oh my! There is a CBT shop across from Denny's. They only do CBT (in their words they are THC Free) so were much more knowledgeable about the my uses for CBT and they had Gummy Bears!

 

I've bought a package of 10 at about half the price of the "Dispensaries." Will take one tonight with my Evening meds to see if it makes for a better sleep.

 

Funny thing was that issue of gender didn't raise it's ugly head. Turns out that after 50 something years, I've figured out that I'm pansexual in addition to being two spirit. Sometimes this sexual identify thing gets awful complication. It was a lot easier when I was just a Queer.

 

Also consider occupational therapy, which despite the name is much more about function than work, if your upper body (neck, shoulders, arms, hands, wrists) is affected. I have lower and upper body issues, and occupational therapy was more helpful for the upper body issues than physical therapy ever was. I even had a physical therapist do work that screwed me up so badly I had to return to occupational therapy for relief.

Edited May 1, 2018 by Guy Fawkes

[Guy Fawkes]

Slept better than I have in weeks. Pain still there but reduced.

 

Oh my! There is a CBT shop across from Denny's. They only do CBT (in their words they are THC Free) so were much more knowledgeable about the my uses for CBT and they had Gummy Bears!

 

I've bought a package of 10 at about half the price of the "Dispensaries." Will take one tonight with my Evening meds to see if it makes for a better sleep.

 

Funny thing was that issue of gender didn't raise it's ugly head. Turns out that after 50 something years, I've figured out that I'm pansexual in addition to being two spirit. Sometimes this sexual identify thing gets awful complication. It was a lot easier when I was just a Queer.

[+ stevenkesslar]

I'm pansexual

 

Yeah, right.

 

And I'm Tinkerbell.

 

[+ purplekow]

Yeah, right.

 

And I'm Tinkerbell.

 

Well I knew you were into the spanking aspected but i do not recall you ever being blond.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Well I knew you were into the spanking aspected but i do not recall you ever being blond.

 

That's obviously just because you only paid attention to the lower half of my body.

 

The pubic hair would have of course provided a clue, but not when I was turned the other way.

 

Okay, enough Gay talk. Back to Guy and pansexualism ..............

[+ purplekow]

That's obviously just because you only paid attention to the lower half of my body.

 

The pubic hair would have of course provided a clue, but not when I was turned the other way.

 

Okay, enough Gay talk. Back to Guy and pansexualism ..............

Guy as pan sexual, I think he means he gets aroused when he sees someone cooking pancakes.

[Walker1]

I've figured out that I'm pansexual in addition to being two spirit.

I honestly haven't figured out what I am . I figure as long as I am happy and enjoying myself-let the haters go to hell!

[+ Avalon]

Guy as pan sexual, I think he means he gets aroused when he sees someone cooking pancakes.

 

 

LOL

[+ FreshFluff]

What keeps standing out to me in your posts is your social isolation, which goes hand in hand with your physical inaction. Is there a senior center near you that you could attend? Do you have interests or hobbies that would get you out of the house to mingle with others? This is a great site for communicating with a variety of people, but it is not a substitute for interacting with flesh and blood human beings. Even a sedentary activity like playing cards or Bingo with other people would be good for you. The aid of responsible professionals is necessary for most of us, but you need the social support of friends as well, and not just "Internet friends." You sound like an interesting person, but a rather shy and passive personality. You may need to exert yourself more than is normally comfortable for you, even possibly volunteer in some capacity that doesn't require much physical activity. The best thing that my partner did when he stopped working, which had been the source of most of his friendships, was to volunteer to lead a reading group for people recovering from a stroke that affected their language skills. People don't have to be professionals, nor hale and hearty, to help one another.

 

The issue is that most people make their closest platonic friends in college and then, over the next decade, acquire a network of less close friends around that tightly knit group.It's nearly impossible to break into those networks because many people are apprehensive about befriending someone unknown to their group. And of course, if someone isn't wasn't good at making friends early on, the situation is unlikely to change.

 

Of course, the situation would be different in an assisted living community or other communal living situation.

[marylander1940]

My usual attire are sweat pants and a tee shirt. I've not had a haircut in over three years. I've been called "ma'am" on occasion.

 

I don't get around much. I have arthritis in both knees. I'm slowly going downhill. Next stop the nursing home (I've looked into it).

 

Last week I went outside to start my car engine up for a few minutes. But yesterday when I went out I fell down in the parking lot. I could not get up. But a woman saw me fall and called the rescue squad. I could hear her on the phone; she was using all female words to describe me. Afterwards I told her that I was a man.

 

We chatted for a few minutes and she told me that she had a lesbian daughter whom she accepted her lifestyle.

 

Masculinity is the eyes of the beholder and gaydar.

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/closeted-escorts-and-gaydar.108100/

[+ Charlie]

The issue is that most people make their closest platonic friends in college and then, over the next decade, acquire a network of less close friends around that tightly knit group.It's nearly impossible to break into those networks because many people are apprehensive about befriending someone unknown to their group. And of course, if someone isn't wasn't good at making friends early on, the situation is unlikely to change.

 

Of course, the situation would be different in an assisted living community or other communal living situation.

Many people don't go to college, or don't go to the kind of college where they socialize with their classmates. I know people from my high school days whose friend circles are the same ones they had in high school. In my experience, many people develop their friend circle through their workplace, especially if they work fulltime at the same place for any length of time. People who live in the same place for a long time often find their friends among their neighbors, if they live in a stable neighborhood. In my day, gay men often found their friend circle among the other gay men that they met in gay meeting places. Others find their friends among people with a similar interest or hobby, like politics or sports or religion. All of these circles are fragile for someone who moves often, or stays in one place while the friends move away. For the elderly, any circle tends to be destabilized by illness and death. As people become isolated, they have to work harder at making new friends, and often have to go outside their usual ways of finding compatible potential friends. Artificial communities, like senior residences, are there because there is a social need for them.

[+ FreshFluff]

Many people don't go to college, or don't go to the kind of college where they socialize with their classmates. I know people from my high school days whose friend circles are the same ones they had in high school.

 

I was going to add "or high school;" if anything, high school friendships tend to be even stronger. However, from what I've seen, people make friends at universities of all sorts, including those in which most students commute to campus.

 

In my experience, many people develop their friend circle through their workplace, especially if they work fulltime at the same place for any length of time. People who live in the same place for a long time often find their friends among their neighbors, if they live in a stable neighborhood. In my day, gay men often found their friend circle among the other gay men that they met in gay meeting places. Others find their friends among people with a similar interest or hobby, like politics or sports or religion. All of these circles are fragile for someone who moves often, or stays in one place while the friends move away. For the elderly, any circle tends to be destabilized by illness and death. As people become isolated, they have to work harder at making new friends, and often have to go outside their usual ways of finding compatible potential friends. Artificial communities, like senior residences, are there because there is a social need for them.

 

Unlike people even a decade or two older, most people in my cohort jumped around, working at each company for only a few years. I did make friends at my first job, which required a lot of social interaction. But again, after a certain age, many people are married with families and aren't looking for new friends.

 

I agree with the rest of your post, particularly about communities for older people.

[marylander1940]

My usual attire are sweat pants and a tee shirt. I've not had a haircut in over three years. I've been called "ma'am" on occasion.

 

I don't get around much. I have arthritis in both knees. I'm slowly going downhill. Next stop the nursing home (I've looked into it).

 

Last week I went outside to start my car engine up for a few minutes. But yesterday when I went out I fell down in the parking lot. I could not get up. But a woman saw me fall and called the rescue squad. I could hear her on the phone; she was using all female words to describe me. Afterwards I told her that I was a man.

 

We chatted for a few minutes and she told me that she had a lesbian daughter whom she accepted her lifestyle.

 

He could easily pass as woman with such a high pitch voice, no wonder he doesn't talk much.

 

[+ Awwshuck]

He could easily pass as woman with such a high pitch voice, no wonder he doesn't talk much.

 

 

That might just serve him well in prison.

[+ Awwshuck]

I spect some a you folks associate me with "masculine" traits, but ah aint never been thought of as a man. Have ah?