Out and About

[+ friendofsheila]

I didn't but it was a long time ago, and I was a boy flirting with girls. The techniques may or may not have changed, but the context certainly has!

 

True, but personally when I flirt with anyone, the techniques are similar, men or women. But then I might have very different aims from yours, when I'm flirting.

[+ friendofsheila]

I was also considering looking for some volunteer activity in the community, any suggestions?

 

I volunteer a lot. I picked one that has me do things I enjoy. I guess that's where I would suggest you start. What do you enjoy? (teaching swimming to kids? gardening? giving out political information to the public?, etc.)

 

Volunteering also has the advantage of giving you a way to have "prolonged verbal contact," which when I took a gay dating course, was said to be essential to getting a date with someone.

[+ friendofsheila]

Great group of people, lots of social activity.

 

A good point. The fact that the group has social activities is important, since it gives people more of a chance to mingle, get to know more people in the group.

[instudiocity]

Suddenly your nom de plume has more meaning.....

 

And.....when do we get to see the speedo pics?

Pervert!

[Deadlift1]

real preps never go out of style.....what about the shoes?

[+ poolboy48220]

Suddenly your nom de plume has more meaning.....

 

And.....when do we get to see the speedo pics?

hahahaha - thank you, but those pictures (if they existed) would burn out your eyes like staring into the sun.

[+ nycman]

Pervert!

 

Hey!....”ya don’t ask...ya don’t get!”

 

And...”pot...kettle....black”.

[rvwnsd]

I was also considering looking for some volunteer activity in the community, any suggestions?

The DC Center for the LGBT Community has quite a few volunteer opportunities. On of the more intriguing one is the twice monthly Packing Parties.

[BasketBaller]

Returning to my baby steps toward a social life, Some of the guys I've been playing basketball with have been going for a beer afterwards on Saturday afternoons. Very good guys, very sociable, nothing flirty I've detected, but they do know my story now, more or less. I told them about my first gay bar visit where guys assumed I was the designated driver for the bachelorette party. So they've been teasing me at the bar, pointing out guys I should go talk to-- and I've gone and talked to some of them. One of the group is a divorced dad a little older than me who has a partner his kids know and love, and he seems a little more serious in encouraging me, which is nice.

 

In the "coming out" department, the second or third time we did this there was a guy there who goes to my gym and has seen me there often with the boys. Just a nodding acquaintance up to now, but he said hi at the bar, and next time at the gym he asked how the boys are, so I gave him the college rundown. He's from Chicago, so was especially interested in my DePaul son's experience so far.

 

Little by little it's starting to feel natural.

[+ Topseed]

One benefit to volunteering: it’s about the cause, it’s about helping, and it’s about being a part of the larger world. These are life lessons I’ve learned and relearned....

[BasketBaller]

One benefit to volunteering: it’s about the cause, it’s about helping, and it’s about being a part of the larger world. These are life lessons I’ve learned and relearned....

I have begun volunteering, but, as it turns out, not in an activity that connects to the gay community. A coworker told me about a group that brings home-cooked meals to the wounded veterans and their families at Walter Reed, and I've joined them. Very humbling.

[BasketBaller]

So. I haven't had much to report on this front, but I've been getting out, playing ball and hanging out afterwards with the group, volunteering, etc. I was talking to one of the basketball guys after playing today and we were discussing Agents of Shield, which we both like. I mentioned I hadn't seen Black Panther yet, and he said, "Let's go tonight."I said sure and asked him if he wanted to grab dinner first. He said sure. A nice guy, a little older than me, with a deep voice.

 

I think I'm going on a date tonight.

[+ azdr0710]

I think I'm going on a date tonight.

 

 

[+ WmClarke]

I think I'm going on a date tonight.

Definitely. Have fun!

[+ purplekow]

Remember, straight guys date to have sex. Gay guys have sex to date. So if you want to date this guy, put out. lol. Good luck. Enjoy the movie. Thigh to thigh contact during the moving is encouraged. Do not do the popcorn surprise.

 

 

Edited March 3, 2018 by purplekow

[BabyBoomer]

 

I think I'm going on a date tonight.

 

You know we'll be expecting a full report tomorrow.

 

~Boomer~

[+ nycman]

I think I'm going on a date tonight.

I remember just yesterday when he wasn’t even sure he “liked” boys....they grow up so fast!

 

So if you want to date this guy, put out.

God I love people who are blunt and to the point.

Promise you’ll sit next to me at the Palm Springs dinner?

 

Oh yeah....and bring condoms BBaller....

Remember....it doesn’t mean you’re a slut....it means you're a smart whore.

[+ bashful]

I think I'm going on a date tonight.

 

So heartwarming to hear.

[rvwnsd]

So, @BasketBaller - how'd it go? Or is it ongoing?

[+ FreshFluff]

I was also considering looking for some volunteer activity in the community, any suggestions?

 

I just doing this--distributing meals at a home for the blind and a few other things.

 

A lot depends on what's available in your city.

[BasketBaller]

Well, I'm not 100% sure if it was a "date" or "two buddies hanging out," but it was a good time. A good dinner together at Spices, a pan-Asian restaurant in DC's Cleveland Park, followed by Black Panther. The talk over dinner was wide-ranging and honest. He had a long-term relationship with a Naval officer that ended amicably when the guy got stationed on the West Coast, and he hasn't been serious with anyone since. I gave him more detail about my life than I'd previously shared with the basketball gang, and he asked a lot of questions. In both case the fact of no relationship came up-- sort of date-y, I'd say.

 

He asked about the boys and I'm embarrassed to say I showed him pictures-- not very date-y? But he seemed interested and asked more about them. As the meal went on it maybe got a little flirtatious, and I think my earlier speculation about eye contact was right, and came into play. I don't think straight men hold eye contact with other men much, and there was a moment when we were just looking at each other, and then both of us laughed. Very date-y.

 

He's a little shorter than me, maybe 5'11. Dark brown hair and eyes. Deep voice, like I said. Nice arms and shoulders, which I know from playing ball with him (basketball), and a really cheerful demeanor.

 

Off to Black Panther, we both loved it, but no hanky-panky. Then to an Irish bar across the street for a drink, too loud to talk much, but a nice vibe. Leaving, he said, "Let's do this again soon, " and I said "I'd like that." I think kind of teenage date-y. Walking along, we came to his car first, and gave each other a manly hug that lasted a little long, looked at each other and laughed again.

 

So honestly, I think a fairly "straight" first date, which was fine. I had been ready for something to happen (and yes, brought condoms), but I'm not disappointed We had fun. He's cool. We'll do it again. And maybe more. Thanks for all the support!

[+ azdr0710]

in case anybody is curious....like I was......

 

https://www.spicesdc.com/

[+ purplekow]

It sound like a date from a rom com. Will they or won't they. Well, I guess the question is whether you want more to happen or not. If you do, I suggest a early evening: "hey I am not doing much, do you want to come over and ......(innocent activity of your choice)" phone call. So basically a booty call but in the early evening so not as to be too obvious. If he has other plans, then the ball is in his court. If he says sure, then greet him with a big old kiss on the lips when he gets there and see how things go.

[BasketBaller]

The Naval thing was an unexpected connection-- my Dad a career Naval officer, me a civilian employee of the Navy, my son a Midshipman at the Academy, his former partner an officer from the days of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. It gave us a lot to talk about and compare. But yes, kind of a rom-com first date.

[+ nycman]

For those of us that aren’t up to date with the lingo of today’s kids.....

 

rom com

 

noun

UK /ˈrɒm kɒm/US /ˈrɑːm kɑːm/

romantic comedy: a film or television program about love that is intended to make you laugh

 

I thought it was a closeted military thing.....like a commissioned officer dating an enlisted man....lol