Am I Being Too Sensitive?

[RealNowhereman]

Long time forum reader...first time poster.

 

Having hired many times over the past two years, I had something occur recently that I do know what to make of (since its never happened to me before).

 

Recently, at the conclusion of a first time meeting with a NYC escort, I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

What do you think?

[escortrod]

I can understand why you would feel insulted, but this is reasonable for the escort to do on a first meet. It would be quite easy for a client to pad the envelope with small bills. (This is especially true with USD).

[+ OliverSaks]

You have a right to feel how you wish.

 

However, just consider that it probably isn't about you; maybe he's been stiffed before, and he has decided that he must count before leaving for his own peace of mind - it sucks to feel taken advantage of and I can see how he might just be protecting himself.

 

I don't count the donation near my clients, and I have been shorted before... I leave myself open to this, but I think the gesture of my trust certainly matters to some clients who treat me very kindly and generously.

[Larstrup]

Long time forum reader...first time poster.

 

Having hired many times over the past two years, I had something occur recently that I do know what to make of (since its never happened to me before).

 

Recently, at the conclusion of a first time meeting with a NYC escort, I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

What do you think?

If the escort counting his money in front of you is the worse thing you ever encounter in these relationships, then you're one lucky guy. Shake it off as just his inexperience with either you personally or his general lack of tact. If he doesn't know you he has an interest to protect as well.

Edited February 20, 2017 by Larstrup

[+ nycman]

I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

Are you insulted when the teller at the bank counts your money?

When the cashier at McDonald's does it?

When the clerk at the Kwik-E-Mart does it?

 

I assume the answer is no and you shouldn't be when an escort does it either.

It's a business transaction plain and simple. The more you lose sight of that

the more you will get hurt....in many ways.

[MiamiLooker]

If you make a purchase with cash at a retail store, they count the money in front of you before putting it in the register, don't they?

[+ José Soplanucas]

Long time forum reader...first time poster.

 

Having hired many times over the past two years, I had something occur recently that I do know what to make of (since its never happened to me before).

 

Recently, at the conclusion of a first time meeting with a NYC escort, I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

What do you think?

 

It was a first time meeting, why should he trust you?

[+ ArVaGuy]

I solve this issue by picking up the envelope and counting the bills in front of the escort. I then place it on the table, dresser, or bed and let the escort pick it up.

 

Personally, I would not feel slighted if the escort counted the funds in front of me.

[+ Funguy]

i always count it out in front of him and then add a tip to it if this was an especially great visit (and they ALL ARE!)

[nynakedtop]

My sympathies lie with the original poster and his concerns... after all, there is a slightly different level of intimacy (generally!) between a convenience store cashier and a person with whom one has just had an erotic encounter - feelings and sensitivities are likely to be in a hightened state, of course... and even small gestures can be mis-interpreted or blown out of proprotion.

 

as for me, i am always worried that i may have unintentionally short-changed my person, and request that he count out the amount i have left - "just to be sure" - and confess that i am prone to the dizziness of an academic!

 

it ends the encounter on a chuckle....

[+ nycman]

I try to solve this "uncomfortable situation" by directly handing the escort their money

and then immediately excusing myself to the bathroom for a minute or two to give

them a chance to count their money without having to do it in front of me.

 

Most don't seem to check it, but I'm not insulted in the least if they do

 

Another option is to spread the bills out next to his clothing while you're getting

cleaned up so it's obvious the cash is all there when he's getting dressed.

[beachboy]

As someone who suffers from Dyspraxia which in my case manifests as number dyslexia, I'm relieved if the escort counts the money. I'd hate to short change him & if he takes the envelope without counting it I always worry that I have. Unique situation I know, but even so I understand on a first meeting the escort's need to ensure he doesn't get stiffed - at least not by bank notes!

[+ azdr0710]

What do you think?

 

yes, it's a bit tactless, but, oh well......being such a trusty, cool dude , it doesn't happen much to me, of course .....when it does, I silently laugh and think about all the daddy's threads about escorts counting money in front of the client

[bostonman]

I solve this issue by picking up the envelope and counting the bills in front of the escort.

 

Personally, I would find this a bit awkward for similar reasons the OP cited. Yes, we all know it's a business transaction, but especially in a passionate session, I like the exchange of funds to be as simple and nonchalant as possible. I usually try to make light of things during our post-activity banter (graciously handing him the envelope and saying something like "oh, you definitely don't want to forget this before you go" etc). I have had escorts peer into the envelope to see the general contents, but I've never had someone count it in front of me.

 

If it were to happen, I would try to keep in mind that yes, this IS a business transaction, and it's not meant as any sort of personal slight. But I tend to think the gentlemanly thing to do would be to count the money privately if at all, and not ruin the illusion of the last hour too much, lol.

 

Your mileage may vary - understood.

[caliguy]

I'd feel better if they looked. I'd think they were a complete dufus leaving without at least looking.

 

If this is a problem for you have you thought of doing paypal or wallet? That way everything is up front and out of the way.

[+ azdr0710]

I suppose we all have our own little "horror stories"......very first guy ever for me counted in front of me and I thought it was a bit tactless, but I presume my extreme nervousness and apparent "newbie" status prompted the count......another much-respected guy handed money back to me the first time we met........another counted and asked for more to cover parking valet and tip (I gave it to him)......

[+ Funguy]

The only almost horror story I have had was when I paid my guy and then left. He called me immediately (within about 5 minutes) to let me know that 2 of the $100 bills were stuck together and I overpaid him by $100 (in addition to his tip). i said let it ride for the next visit!

[+ Eric Hassan]

As an escort, I don't want to "ruin" the experience by counting money in front of the client, but I also don't want to be short-changed and find out after I've left. On the first visit, I always appreciate it when my client either verbally confirms the rate when he pays, takes @ArVaGuy's approach and counts the money in front of me, or takes the approach of @nycman and offers the money then excuses himself for a moment. Once this transaction goes smoothly the first time, I feel much more assured and am not likely to count the money in front of the client.

 

That's me, and your provider may have his own reasons, but I don't think it's something to take personally. It was your first visit and, as providers, that first visit is our time to vet you as a real-life client, just as it's your opportunity to test us out in real life. A little extra caution - on both parts - is warranted and not personal. If you enjoyed the experience, let that be the thing that sticks with you.

[+ glennnn]

True story. The first time I hired the inestimable @Rod Hagen, I was so anxious and nervous, I shorted him in the thank you card envelope I left containing my donation. He calmly notified me for my error which involved mistaking a $20 for a $50 via text. I was equally mortified and horrified, but he allowed me to make up the difference with an Amazon gift card and laughed it off. We have had many pleasant hours together since and I am devoted to him as a client and friend.

 

Another time, I handed the loose cash to a different, legendary escort (you know who you are), which somehow cheapened what had been for me a very intimate, tender and romantic session. (I remember kissing his face about 100 times.) We were both taken aback by how crass my action made us feel.

 

I like the envelope on the table, and a trip to the bathroom before exiting. It prevents both mistakes and crassness.

[MikeyGMin]

It's probably not fair, but it's one of the many small things that add up to determine whether I will repeat. I love it when a guy just sticks the wad of cash or the envelope right into their pocket. I expect them to count it the minute they're on the other side of the door, but that simple act of not doing it in front of me gets major repeat points in my book.

[big-n-tall]

Since it was the first time you two met, I wouldn't take it as a slight. Some guys get burned (escorts and clients alike) and are just cautious. I don't recall anyone ever counting in front of me, but I personally wouldn't feel offended. That is just me.

 

Since we are telling true stories...

The first time I met @ajirons09 we did an overnight. I actually almost forgot to give him his donation. We both didn't realize it until he was in his vehicle about to go. I quickly ran upstairs to get the funds and returned to the parking lot. Before he left, he said something to the effect that we must have clicked so well it was like visiting a friend. And the rest is history.

 

Over our shared history, that type of incident happened at least two other times. Each time he didn't freak out and said something sweet or clever. AJ is and always shall be awesome!!!

Edited February 21, 2017 by big-n-tall

[+ sync]

You should not feel insulted. Business is business.

[JayCeeKy]

My usual routine is to hand the envelope to the escort as I excuse myself to "freshen up." I always invite the escort to go ahead and open the envelope and count it for two reason: 1) I may have made a mistake; 2) he can't say later that I shortchanged him. I was pleasantly surprised last weekend when the escort said: "No, I trust you" and put the envelope in his pocket. Not only did I have a good time with this young man, he earned my respect. (P.S. I had actually given him a big tip which I hope was a pleasant surprise for him later.)

[+ newatthis]

It seems easy enough to count the money with a first-time client AND leave him feeling great: after counting, grab him, give him a big hug, kiss, and smile, and say something sweet like "thanks so much! I had a great time with you and hope to see you again."

[jawjateck]

Some guys are tacky about it, but no big deal. If he does it a second time, fire his ass!