I will speak my mind and let sh-t hit the fan

[big-n-tall]

Ok! I'm a racist! I prefer dick over pussy. Now, will someone please come over and administer some sort of corporal punishment?

 

ME!!!!!!!!

...with my tongue.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Ok! I'm a racist! I prefer dick over pussy. Now, will someone please come over and administer some sort of corporal punishment?

 

I can spank you with the Argentine flag.

[mattr]

Ok! I'm a racist! I prefer dick over pussy. Now, will someone please come over and administer some sort of corporal punishment?

That makes you sexist, not racist.... Just kidding. I am with you on this one TR.

[rvwnsd]

You are actually right, that is not what I intended to say. You would not be a racist just because of that, but that one would be a racist behavior. We all have some.

 

According to Merriam-Webster, racism is " a belief that ']race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race" and "racial ']prejudice or discrimination."

 

Choosing to date black men instead of dating white men does not strike me as producing an inherent superiority of black men over white men. It strikes me as finding black men to be attractive and white men to be not attractive based on physical characteristics. However, I agree that it would become racist behavior if a person dated black men instead of white men because they find all white men to be inferior to all black men simply because they are not black. The same would be true, IMO, if a person dated white men instead of black men because they find all white men to be superior to all black men.

 

Yes, this is very nuanced, but I think the issue itself is very nuanced.

[+ José Soplanucas]

According to Merriam-Webster, racism is " a belief that ']race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race" and "racial ']prejudice or discrimination."

 

Choosing to date black men instead of dating white men does not strike me as producing an inherent superiority of black men over white men. It strikes me as finding black men to be attractive and white men to be not attractive based on physical characteristics. However, I agree that it would become racist behavior if a person dated black men instead of white men because they find all white men to be inferior to all black men simply because they are not black. The same would be true, IMO, if a person dated white men instead of black men because they find all white men to be superior to all black men.

 

Yes, this is very nuanced, but I think the issue itself is very nuanced.

 

I agree. I think the key is the difference between saying "I prefer white/black/asian/whatever" vs. saying "I do not date white/black/asian/whatever". Preferring is not excluding.

[rvwnsd]

Agree. However, @big-n-tall pointed out that "preference" implies one has tried two things and liked one better than the other. That's why I used the word "like." Still, unless one is taking the definitions literally, they mean the same thing.

[+ glennnn]

A black man marries a white woman, indicating that he finds her the most excellent of all women available to him. Another black man marries a black woman for the same reasons. Any racism here? And does it really matter if it makes them all happy? Is a racial preference unacted on in any way racism? If I was raised by overt racists, but work every day to suppress this learned behavior, am I stll a racist. Is racism a thought or an action, or both? As I said above, we all have prejudices -for gender, for race, for nationality, for ice cream flavor- actions when we make decisions based on experiences beyond the immediate situation. One cannot control emotions or thoughts, but unless they are leading you to hurt others, to behave unethically, to foster hate, i believe they are no body's business, but yours.

[Lab12]

I really like the fact that we have discussed this issue calmly and sanely. Sometimes, when I hear some of the arguments about race and racism, my head begins to spin!!! Different ideas and ideologies can communicated without resorting to petty insults and name calling and I think we have just proven that!!! I hope i did not jinx it lol.

[Lab12]

@Eric Hassan I am still coming to NYC soon just for you so if you have any racial preferences good luck, 'cause I am still coming for you either way!!! lol

[Rudynate]

Racism has many guises. Who you sleep with or don't isn't a very good indicator. I worked with a guy once who was the kind of person that would lower his voice when he uttered the word "black" as though he was saying a really bad word and yet I know for a fact that he had no objection to having sex with a black man he was attracted to.

 

I dated a black man once for a couple of months who admitted to me that he only dated white men. He said he'd had a black boyfriend once and that the relationship had been "disastrous." He was the sort who framed every last certificate and award he had ever received and displayed it, no matter how trivial it was. I'm sure we've all known people like that. Right there on the wall in his apartment among his framed certificates and plaques were framed photographs of all of his white boyfriends, like they were trophies. Tell me there wasn't some racism at work there.

[DonaldTramp]

Hillary Clinton is a bigot.

[Lab12]

Racism has many guises. Who you sleep with or don't isn't a very good indicator. I worked with a guy once who was the kind of person that would lower his voice when he uttered the word "black" as though he was saying a really bad word and yet I know for a fact that he had no objection to having sex with a black man he was attracted to.

 

I dated a black man once for a couple of months who admitted to me that he only dated white men. He said he'd had a black boyfriend once and that the relationship had been "disastrous." He was the sort who framed every last certificate and award he had ever received and displayed it, no matter how trivial it was. I'm sure we've all known people like that. Right there on the wall in his apartment among his framed certificates and plaques were framed photographs of all of his white boyfriends, like they were trophies. Tell me there wasn't some racism at work there.

That is so weird, does he perceive his relationships as conquests?

[+ José Soplanucas]

That is so weird, does he perceive his relationships as conquests?

 

I can relate to perceiving your hook ups (not your dates), your one night stands, as trophies. Not to the racist side because in my slutty years I would go to all available colors, though. I used to feel like a hunter, and even keep a diary narrating my conquests.

[Rudynate]

That is so weird, does he perceive his relationships as conquests?

 

 

I was never sure. I found it pretty strange.

 

He turned out to be a controller - wanted me to get my hair cut a certain way, and then started asking me not to wear items of clothing he didn't like, etc., etc. I didn't like the direction things were heading so I dropped him.

[+ glennnn]

@latbear4blk

 

Have you considered publication? It sounds like an important.....historical document.

[+ Eric Hassan]

@Eric Hassan I am still coming to NYC soon just for you so if you have any racial preferences good luck, 'cause I am still coming for you either way!!! lol

 

Bring it!

[Lab12]

Bring it!

hehehehehe!!!

[+ goosh69]

My point is that their is a reason that studies by match.com and other dating sites show that racial preferences among gay and straight people alike varies by region in the US - among other findings. Is it a coincidence that white people living in the Deep South are far less likely to seek out non white people online, per match, versus people in more liberal areas? Or that Asian women are far more desired by non-Asian men compared with Asian men by non-Asian women? Or that interracial marriage is more common in the UK or Scandanavia than in most parts of the US?

 

The fact is we are all raised with unconscious bias drilled into our heads from before we can walk by our parents, peers, the media, etc. you're only fooling yourself if you think your "preferences" sprung forth whole cloth from the ether.

 

If you had an identical twin who grew up far away from you, they'd have entirely different "preferences" even if you were both gay.

[marylander1940]

Agreed. As an example, just peruse the Politics & Religion forum. Some of the forum members there demand pure leftist orthdoxy from posters. They scream "racist, racist, racist" at anyone who challenges Clinton's policies and rhetoric. Independent thinkers and conservatives are mocked and subjected to the old, tired, racist name-calling.. Sad but true.

 

Bozo

 

You're exaggerating... one more thing I just love it when yinz talk about family values on here.

[marylander1940]

My point is that their is a reason that studies by match.com and other dating sites show that racial preferences among gay and straight people alike varies by region in the US - among other findings. Is it a coincidence that white people living in the Deep South are far less likely to seek out non white people online, per match, versus people in more liberal areas? Or that Asian women are far more desired by non-Asian men compared with Asian men by non-Asian women? Or that interracial marriage is more common in the UK or Scandanavia than in most parts of the US?

 

The fact is we are all raised with unconscious bias drilled into our heads from before we can walk by our parents, peers, the media, etc. you're only fooling yourself if you think your "preferences" sprung forth whole cloth from the ether.

 

If you had an identical twin who grew up far away from you, they'd have entirely different "preferences" even if you were both gay.

 

Asians usually are not attracted to other Asians or at least that's what I've seen in an area of the country there aren't many folks with that kind of background.

 

I think there are 2 ethnic groups: hot and not hot, I'm glad I have an open type but I do have my preferences like all of us have.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Agreed. As an example, just peruse the Politics & Religion forum. Some of the forum members there demand pure leftist orthdoxy from posters. They scream "racist, racist, racist" at anyone who challenges Clinton's policies and rhetoric. Independent thinkers and conservatives are mocked and subjected to the old, tired, racist name-calling.. Sad but true.

 

Bozo

 

Absolutely.

 

Worse, people attack my boyfriend Kenny and call him a dumb blonde. And then there are the attacks on my ginger amour Bozo, just because he has red hair. Him and his MBTC Diamond and Kenny and me have had some pretty fucking wild sex, and there is pubic hair of every imaginable color and gender in my mouth. And I love it. I say to each his own.

 

Last year, hindsight being 20/20, I made a character judgment that proved to be naive, and I came out swinging on this issue. I won't do that again. But also that all happened before Donald Trump came out with insults to just about everybody that make him unfavorable to a vast majority and will almost certainly exact a huge price from the GOP. It should be a life lesson on the profound magic of one little four letter word: "TACT."

 

You really don't have to make your preferences obvious when you know it's going to make someone else feel like they are supposed to crawl out of their skin.

[marylander1940]

I do not date or hire men of color. That does not make me a racist. If you think it does, then go ahead. It doesn't affect me at all.

 

Thank you for being honest about it, and NO I don't think you're a racist.

[mattr]

You're exaggerating... one more thing I just love it when yinz talk about family values on here.

 

Not exaggerating at all....

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

You're exaggerating...

 

No. I'm not exaggerating. Go back to P & R with your idiotic, lowlife buddy Kenny.

 

 

Bozo

[Rudynate]

My point is that their is a reason that studies by match.com and other dating sites show that racial preferences among gay and straight people alike varies by region in the US - among other findings. Is it a coincidence that white people living in the Deep South are far less likely to seek out non white people online, per match, versus people in more liberal areas? Or that Asian women are far more desired by non-Asian men compared with Asian men by non-Asian women? Or that interracial marriage is more common in the UK or Scandanavia than in most parts of the US?

 

The fact is we are all raised with unconscious bias drilled into our heads from before we can walk by our parents, peers, the media, etc. you're only fooling yourself if you think your "preferences" sprung forth whole cloth from the ether.

 

If you had an identical twin who grew up far away from you, they'd have entirely different "preferences" even if you were both gay.

 

 

I remember an episode of "Geraldo" from the late 80's. His guests were all black men - 4 or 5 guys, academics, mental health professionals, etc. and they were discussing racism. There was some cute white boy in the audience who posed a question about what one could do about one's own knee-jerk racism. One of the guests told him that his racism wasn't his fault and that he should give himself a break. He said "You can't help but be racist, you're the product of a racist system."