The 3 a.m. email…a red flag?

[+ saminseattle]

People have different schedules of course, and this is particularly true when they don’t have a traditional 9-5 type of job, but the idea that people are awake, online, and catching up on their emails at 3 or 4 in the morning still strikes me as unusual and a bit odd. Certainly, I couldn’t imagine functioning very well the next day if I were up that late. I guess I would be concerned that it could be a sign of an issue with intoxicating substances. Or maybe some kind of desperation that they are looking for something at that hour instead of sleeping. Or maybe I’m overthinking it. When I was younger I would occasionally be up at that hour, so there may be an age component to it I suppose.

 

Anyway, my question to everyone is: Have you ever sent out or received communications in this 3-4 a.m. time frame? In retrospect, was this harmless happenstance or some kind of a warning sign?

[rvwnsd]

...Anyway, my question to everyone is: Have you ever sent out or received communications in this 3-4 a.m. time frame? In retrospect, was this harmless happenstance or some kind of a warning sign?

 

In my case, it was harmless happenstance. I couldn't sleep and sent some emails. If someone works at a club, it is very likely that they get off from work at 2:00 or 2:30 AM, so sending emails at 3:00 AM would make perfect sense.

[+ deej]

3-4 AM is the meat of Daddy's work day.

 

I spent the last 3 years leaving for work at 4:30 AM. It wasn't all that unusual to send out a quick email before leaving the house.

 

I wouldn't consider it at all unusual.

[seaboy4hire]

In this day of technology and being connected around the world I don't think it is odd. My first job in Seattle was in a banking building with law offices. I would see people coming to work at 5am west coast time and I'm sure an email or two were sent by them and recieved at that time as well from Asia, Europe and elsewhere. Keep in mind this was in 1996 and I'm sure it's grown.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[Beancounter]

I had to chuckle at the OP's post. When you're my age and go to bed at 8 pm then waking up at 3 a.m. is part of my normal routine. Breakfast at 3:30 am and lunch at 8:30 am. Time for a nap at 10 am and then back to bed at 8 pm. Yep, we all turn into our grandparents at some point.

[+ deej]

In this day of technology and being connected around the world I don't think it is odd. My first job in Seattle was in a banking building with law offices. I would see people coming to work at 5am west coast time and I'm sure an email or two were sent by them and recieved at that time as well from Asia, Europe and elsewhere. Keep in mind this was in 1996 and I'm sure it's grown.

 

Yeah, those early arrivers were probably dealing with customers on the east coast. On the west coast, you have staff starting at 5am to cover the east cost, but don't for a minute think anyone out east will answer the phone after 2pm PST because they make NO effort to cover time zones. (Not snarky! They just don't!)

 

In a previous job we provided tech support for customers from Maine to Hawaii. That's quite a time range to cover!

[down_to_business]

Worked shift work for a while, 8pm to 4am and variations of the sort. It is absolutely normal for me to send and receive emails then.

[+ ArVaGuy]

Not a red flag for especially if work related. My organization operates in 39 countries and just about every time zone. Working globally has at one time or another resulted in the 03:00 email, voice mail, or conference call.

 

Recently I had to take a late evening video conference at 22:00 / 10:00 PM EDT with our Hong Kong office. There's a 12 hour time difference so it was 10:00 AM the next day for my colleagues. A perfectly reasonable time for them certainly.

 

I've also learned to use these time zone differences to advantage. At the end of my day I will fire off a few messages to my colleagues or vendors. This results in my messages being at the top of their email inbox. When I come in the next day, replies are at the top of mine.

 

The headaches come from trying to figure what the plus or minus GMT is for people in six different countries at the same time. Someone is going to be seriously inconvenienced. We only do this in extremely rare circumstances. Usually though, it's our US based people who take the hit for a late night or early morning call. We do this so as not to appear the "inconsiderate American" who thinks the world bends to our needs.

[+ Truereview]

I operate on about 6 hours of sleep/day. I just don't have them all at once. I work or email friends when the mood strikes at whatever hour it is. I take siestas whenever & wherever I can. I'm usually pretty perky unless I sleep more than 6 hours.

[Juan Vancouver]

There's a lot of assuming that has to happen for you to come to the conclusion someone is high because he wrote to you at 3 AM.

 

I think we often tend to forget people lead lives that are incredibly different to our own and it is often hard to imagine valid reasons for their behaviour.

 

I go to bed really late every night. Always have. Love the late night hours when there is absolutely nobody awake and I can focus, write, think, read, be creative. Sometimes during those hours I respond to emails.

 

It's not because I am high. It's not that I am "looking for something" at those times (As a matter of fact my phone is off around 11PM).

 

And of course I am not totally destroyed the next morning because every night I sleep enough. Of course I do not take calls at 8AM. If someone is looking for an early riser, that is just not me.

[+ harey]

Yes and Yes, and usually harmless. Might want to consider the source - RM or another established site vs. Backpage (which could be sketchy).

 

I also like to be cautious before a first meeting with an escort and notice the way he communicates, but don't really worry about time. Often up very late myself on the weekends/vacation because I'm a night owl not a druggie. Some escorts work really late hours so 3-4:00 AM may be their normal bedtime. I've heard that from guys in Las Vegas, a place where time has no meaning, and also from escorts who are traveling and booking as many appointments as they can.

[caliguy]

In my experience the majority of them will be drunk and/or high if were talking on the wknd.

[+ dutchmuch]

I only get concerned if the 3AM email is seeking a EOY vote...

[+ purplekow]

There's a lot of assuming that has to happen for you to come to the conclusion someone is high because he wrote to you at 3 AM.

 

I think we often tend to forget people lead lives that are incredibly different to our own and it is often hard to imagine valid reasons for their behaviour.

 

I go to bed really late every night. Always have. Love the late night hours when there is absolutely nobody awake and I can focus, write, think, read, be creative. Sometimes during those hours I respond to emails.

 

It's not because I am high. It's not that I am "looking for something" at those times (As a matter of fact my phone is off around 11PM).

 

And of course I am not totally destroyed the next morning because every night I sleep enough. Of course I do not take calls at 8AM. If someone is looking for an early riser, that is just not me.

I am also a night person. I feel we nighthawks are, as a group, discriminated against. Very little is going on in the wee small hours of the morning. There is a 24 hour gym near me, so that is handy, but most everything else except for donut shops is closed.

Juan, I donot care if you are an early riser, as longer as we both can rise at the same time.

[LivingnLA]

Not a red flag for especially if work related. My organization operates in 39 countries and just about every time zone. Working globally has at one time or another resulted in the 03:00 email, voice mail, or conference call.

 

Recently I had to take a late evening video conference at 22:00 / 10:00 PM EDT with our Hong Kong office. There's a 12 hour time difference so it was 10:00 AM the next day for my colleagues. A perfectly reasonable time for them certainly.

 

I've also learned to use these time zone differences to advantage. At the end of my day I will fire off a few messages to my colleagues or vendors. This results in my messages being at the top of their email inbox. When I come in the next day, replies are at the top of mine.

 

The headaches come from trying to figure what the plus or minus GMT is for people in six different countries at the same time. Someone is going to be seriously inconvenienced. We only do this in extremely rare circumstances. Usually though, it's our US based people who take the hit for a late night or early morning call. We do this so as not to appear the "inconsiderate American" who thinks the world bends to our needs.

 

You're taking me back to fun times in my past at a major multinational. I had teams on every continent except Antarctica. We had monthly vid cons with each region and quarterly in person visits. Thank god I've always been able to function well on 5-6 hours of sleep. The travel and 300+ email/day got old though and now I'm more the domestic dad.

[marylander1940]

People have different schedules of course, and this is particularly true when they don’t have a traditional 9-5 type of job, but the idea that people are awake, online, and catching up on their emails at 3 or 4 in the morning still strikes me as unusual and a bit odd. Certainly, I couldn’t imagine functioning very well the next day if I were up that late. I guess I would be concerned that it could be a sign of an issue with intoxicating substances. Or maybe some kind of desperation that they are looking for something at that hour instead of sleeping. Or maybe I’m overthinking it. When I was younger I would occasionally be up at that hour, so there may be an age component to it I suppose.

 

Anyway, my question to everyone is: Have you ever sent out or received communications in this 3-4 a.m. time frame? In retrospect, was this harmless happenstance or some kind of a warning sign?

 

Maybe he was on a different time zone, or he had a client who arrived at midnight and decided to hire him for a few extra hours or simply he went to the bathroom and decided to check his iPhone (bathroom literature) and emailed you back at that moment. Maybe he had insomnia THAT night...

 

I don't even check what time guys reply to me, I'm just glad they do considering so many threads on escorts who don't reply text messages, calls, emails...

 

http://media.thedailytouch.com/2015/08/tumblr_inline_mxjf6pgqk41qia98g.gif

[rvwnsd]

I feel so embarrassed I send emails at the time:oops:

at least its better than a phone call or text at that hour tho ...

Why feel embarrassed? That's the great thing about email - you can send at any hour without disturbing anyone.

[+ deej]

bc when i get a reply back people are curious about why I'm doing up so late. They always say you had a wild night huh, which is far from it lol. Im either just chilling at home or I'm out all around manhattan meeting all sorts of gentlemen at late naughty hours Not too wild eh

 

Babycakes, when I was in college I was a musician. I made beer money playing in dance bands all over the midwest. The band would play until last call.

 

After last call, the club would clear and the band and the bartenders (and some groupies) would party. And then I'd stop at the 24/7 grocery store where I worked during the day for a sandwich. (Old lady Ruthie always gave me the side-eye and asked "you got some, dincha?" I never gave her any more than a kiss on the cheek. A girl keeps her secrets.)

 

There is nothing wrong with being up at that hour. Nothing.

[+ deej]

Not much of a change.

 

There's a difference between getting an email reply at 3a.m. and getting a new contact at 3a.m. asking "cum now".

 

There are cases where communications are delivered at a convenient time and there are times when a drunk is horny. Context is everything.

 

As always, use your best judgement. If your spidey sense says "this guy is wasted" then walk away, but that also applies at noon on Tuesday. It doesn't have anything to do with the time of the day.

[klifhangar]

Not unusual at all. I wake up in the middle of the night often. Checking email is a habit and, if there's something I need to respond to, I do so.

 

Now if someone calls me at 3am, they better be on my doorstep with their zipper down.

[+ Charlie]

My iPad starts dinging between 4-5am, but much of it is routine stuff from organizations and businesses which probably distribute it automatically at that hour, so it will be the first thing I see when I check my email. I also live in California but work for a company that is headquartered on the east coast and starts work at 8am ET, so I am not surprised to gets mass distribution messages from them at 5am my time.

[mike carey]

All of the above, and plenty of reasons among them that didn't come to mind when I read the OP. Lately I have been sleeping 4am to noon, so I do send e-mails at odd hours, although in some cases I hold off to avoid appearing weird to the recipient, no rhyme or reason as to which people I will and will not send to. Chatting in this august forum means our time zones are all over the place. Combining that with different work/rest/sleep patterns means e-mails and texts can come in at any time of day. I wouldn't draw any inference from the time I received an e-mail.

 

There's nothing wrong with sending e-mails at any time of the day, what is wrong is expecting a reply at 4am unless you're paying the person to be watching the screen at the time.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I don't make assumptions about emails/texts at that hour unless they are asking if I am available right then. I DO assume they are likely partying, though of course I could be wrong. What I can conclude is that they haven't read through my ad or website because I make it clear that I don't take appts earlier than 9 am or later than 9 pm.

[mike carey]

@Lance_Navarro I agree absolutely that your correspondents need to respect your limits on meeting times. Whether they send their requests within those hours is a separate question! But I'll accept any convo limits you want to impose!!

[gallahadesquire]

It's the phone calls between 3 and 6 am that get to me. NEVER good news. Especially when I was on call.