I did it, I had my first hire!

[Wolfer]

Hi everyone!

 

I've been lurking on the forums for years now, researching and researching all I could about hiring. Since I've recently become single after a (very) long relationship I decided to hire my first guy. And it was AMAZING, MIND BLOWING, LIFE CHANGING!

 

I've never had a lot of sex in my life (before this I've only ever had had sex with one person in my life, my ex). I was so... surprised how freeing it was to be naked and physically close to someone without any of my body image issues cropping up!

 

I'd always read about the type of sex, you know, where you don't know anymore which way is up or down, the involuntarily sighing and moaning. I always thought that that was just a load of bull until now... I never knew sex could be like this! I moaned for the first time ever! I didn't know anymore what way was up or down and I was physically shaking from pleasure! Hahaha, which seems silly, I know, but I feel like a horny teenager. Hahahaa.

 

The only thing afterwards that I cried about is that I feel like a pathetic loser having to pay for someone to give me a facsimile of friendship... I don't have a circle of close friends and having been single it's only confronted me even more with the fact that I have no one to pour my heart out to (except for the people I pay like my therapist).

[bobchitown]

Think of it as therapy.

[masonguy]

Wolfer...I understand the pathetic feeling...I went through a similar experience...but a lot of the guys who escort genuinely enjoy providing their services and are happy to help out. Others, well not so much, so not all experiences are so great. But, sometimes you just need to be next to a gorgeous man, explore him, and delight in the physical contact, and the fact that there are guys willing to do that is just terrific.

[+ honcho]

I can certainly relate to the notion of feeling like a looser by not having a large circle of friends. They asked me at work who I

wanted to invite to retirement lunch and I could only think of two or three people that I might ask who wouldn't feel imposed on

by having to miss part of their own work.

 

So, if you don't mind the pot making suggestions to the kettle, I can offer the following thoughts:

 

1.) Try to be more accepting of yourself. You might not know very many people if you been relating primarily to your

ex while in that relationship.

2.) Developing friendships takes time ... patience, patience, and don't push.

3.) Find some venue where you can meet and talk to people with similar interests. There are lots of different kinds

of gay activity clubs. Not only sports teams, (or even lower intensity ones like hiking clubs or bicycling groups),

but bridge, book reading, musical groups ... whatever floats your boat.

4.) If you're genuinely interested in other people and are willing to share something of yourself, you *will* find other

people you resonate with. There are two or three people here I'm sure I'd hang with if we lived in the same city,

but getting to know them even from a distance didn't happen overnight.

[caliguy]

it was AMAZING, MIND BLOWING, LIFE CHANGING VS ......I feel like a pathetic loser having to pay for someone to give me a facsimile of friendship

 

Not sure what the problem is though. You got what you wanted sexually. There are plenty of better ways to find friends unless you also demand that those friends look hot, hung, and give you mind bending orgasms. Then it might be back to square one.

[+ bigjoey]

Congratulations on a great first hire. Post a review. Sounds like you got a winner!

 

Many escorts enjoy their job and love pleasing people. Some good ones could actually make good therapists and help you feel more comfortable with yourself and come out and make more friends. There are many great escorts and I hope you get your share.

 

Agree with the previous postings on the way to get friends and about your own feelings.

[down_to_business]

Sounds like you are in danger of blurring the lines of escorting and friendship. An escort will NEVER be a suitable replacement for a friend. Please don't allow yourself to confuse the issue because it can be very easy to do. I assure you, when the money stops flowing, so will the care, concern, kindness, and whatever other "real one-sided" emotions you might be experiencing.

 

For those of us who are deeply introverted, it can be very difficult to make friends and put yourself out there in the real world. It's something you just have to bite the bullet and do. Hiring escorts can be therapeutic for some based on their experiences expressed on these forums. Unfortunately, it can just as easily be a crutch allowing others to delude themselves into false senses of friendship, love, emotional support and community that just don't exist anywhere but your own imagination.

 

Proceed with caution!

[Rudynate]

Hi everyone!

 

The only thing afterwards that I cried about is that I feel like a pathetic loser having to pay for someone to give me a facsimile of friendship... I don't have a circle of close friends and having been single it's only confronted me even more with the fact that I have no one to pour my heart out to (except for the people I pay like my therapist).

 

You didn't have to do it, you chose it. And you chose well. My unsolicited advice is that you give some thought to the story you are telling yourself about your own life.

[+ Funguy]

Take heart, Wolfer. You are now part of a terrific, exclusive club and we welcome you.

It is exclusive because i would bet my left tit (well, maybe not) that most of your gay friends don't know anything about us, let alone are on this web site or hiring!!

[american executive]

Hey Wolfer - good for you! You sound really happy and it's obvious that you had fun. That's what it's all about. I am happy for you.

[tyro]

Hi Wolfer!

This INTJ understands the "few friends" scenario. One can be alone without being lonely. If you really DO want to meet more people -- and trust me, most of the time, I don't -- focus on passions, not people. Other than HOTT guys, what else do you like? Put yourself in a spot where you can do that with other people.

T

PS CONGRATS on a good first hire.

[Wolfer]

Thanks for all the replies! I did think afterwards that it was the best therapy I've ever had. I didn't cry because I couldn't have friendship with the escort, but more because it sort of hit me hard that gentle, friendly intimacy was what was missing from my life. There's a happy continue to my story, though: I reached out to two old friends that live abroad (one moved away years ago, the other I met while travelling) and they have both been wonderful, supportive and have allowed me to pour my heart out! Though it's not quite the same doing that over Skype calls (I'm a very physical person and need hugs and cuddles!), it has given me comfort and solace.

 

funguy: you're right. Nobody (apart from two people) knows about this! Can I grab your left tit now?

 

caliguy: I wasn't actually looking for anything sexual (I intially asked to keep it a non-sexual encounter), the sex was just... a VERY nice bonus.

 

I'm very outgoing and easily connect with people, but it just seems that up until now I've had a hard time keeping in touch with people (well, I do my best, but everyone seems so busy!). I have people I meet up with for drinks, laughs and house parties, but none that are (geographically and emotionally) close enough to me to be the sort of social support network one could need in hard times. But I'm taking steps to make that better!

 

I actually used to be on a gay swim team couple of years ago, which was a load of fun! Injuries have prevented me from joining again, but my body has been getting loads better and am hoping to join up again in the near future. I'm thinking of joining the local gay choir to meet new people that way. I do direct musical theatre as well, but for some reason I haven't been able to really build friendships out of that. I think it has to do with that boss/employee gap thing (I'm also the producer often times), even if it is amateur regional theatre and there's more of "friends doing this together" vibe.

 

Oooh, and my review got published. It's Patrick Michaels in London, it's review #9: http://www.daddysreviews.com/cruise/newest/patrick_michaels_london

[uwsman2]

Glad to hear that your first time worked out so well. Don't beat yourself up. Friends and sex don't have to go together. And if you feel isolated and want a wider circle of friends, you've received some good advice above. Follow your passions and throw yourself into some community activity and friendships will follow.

[whipped guy]

Take heart, Wolfer. You are now part of a terrific, exclusive club and we welcome you.

It is exclusive because i would bet my left tit (well, maybe not) that most of your gay friends don't know anything about us, let alone are on this web site or hiring!!

I echo this. Well not the part about betting any of my nips that is!

 

This is an exclusive club indeed as here you can learn with whom you can get it on with so as to experience the best of the best in the world. I have mentioned to many who are not thrilled by sex that most likely they never hooked up with anyone who really knew what they were doing.

 

Here you not only get a professional, but can choose from a variety of the best lovers out there. What's better than that?!?!?! Enjoy! Forget about the guilt as too many of us were brought up on guilt. You are not a looser, as you experienced what many who seem to have it all together have never experienced. This is a hobby that brings you pleasure just like the pleasure of collecting fine art or playing golf brings to others. Consider it one facet of your life. It just that with this hobby the resulting pleasure is ratcheted up more than a few notches! Again, what's better than that!!!!!!

 

However, do make an attempt to get the rest of your life under control. Eventually it will. Then you will have the best of both worlds.

 

Also, congrats. It sounds as though you chose wisely for your first hire!

[+ Funguy]

 

funguy: you're right. Nobody (apart from two people) knows about this! Can I grab your left tit now?

 

You can grab it any time, feel free to kiss it, twist it, lick it, suck it or do anything you want. But, do remember, I did say, "I would bet my left tit (well, maybe not)…" so, in the end, you must return it to me!

[starman05]

it's odd because I think some guys ARE looking for friendship (and if sex comes along, woo-hoo!) Perhaps it's easier for the guys who just want a hot sexual encounter and then bam! Thanks, and see you next time! Those of us looking for friendship and seek it out this way...well, we can be screwed. (Figuratively, not literally.)

[whipped guy]

it's odd because I think some guys ARE looking for friendship (and if sex comes along, woo-hoo!) Perhaps it's easier for the guys who just want a hot sexual encounter and then bam! Thanks, and see you next time! Those of us looking for friendship and seek it out this way...well, we can be screwed. (Figuratively, not literally.)

Even worse... to quote the song... is "looking for love in all the wrong places"! I have a friend who was screwed figuratively more than once before he realized the error of his ways!

[Todd99]

Congrats on the first hire! I used to feel similar to you thinking I was a pathetic loser because the only way I could have sex with a hot, hung, muscular guy was to pay for it. I'm bisexual and definitely not out about it. So when I say paying is the only way I can get it, I really mean it. Then I thought, I'm not pathetic. I'm successful enough that I can afford to hire these great guys. Aren't I awesome? Some of my straight friends have trophy wives...clearly only with them for their money.

 

I, on the other hand, have my trophy escorts. LOL. How lucky am I??

 

You are lucky too. Sounds like you have some great friends and many ways to meet new and wonderful people. Stay positive. And we are all here for you.

[+ Funguy]

All of my escorts are trophies!

You hear that, guys!

[+ purplekow]

Hi everyone!

 

I've been lurking on the forums for years now, researching and researching all I could about hiring. Since I've recently become single after a (very) long relationship I decided to hire my first guy. And it was AMAZING, MIND BLOWING, LIFE CHANGING!

 

I've never had a lot of sex in my life (before this I've only ever had had sex with one person in my life, my ex). I was so... surprised how freeing it was to be naked and physically close to someone without any of my body image issues cropping up!

 

I'd always read about the type of sex, you know, where you don't know anymore which way is up or down, the involuntarily sighing and moaning. I always thought that that was just a load of bull until now... I never knew sex could be like this! I moaned for the first time ever! I didn't know anymore what way was up or down and I was physically shaking from pleasure! Hahaha, which seems silly, I know, but I feel like a horny teenager. Hahahaa.

 

The only thing afterwards that I cried about is that I feel like a pathetic loser having to pay for someone to give me a facsimile of friendship... I don't have a circle of close friends and having been single it's only confronted me even more with the fact that I have no one to pour my heart out to (except for the people I pay like my therapist).

 

First of all Wolfer, welcum to the Forum. And in your case A Funny Thing did happen on the way here, you had great carnal fun with a hot guy who had you feeling like a vertiginous, quivering moaning fuck stud. He is probably not now nor will he ever be your friend, though I know it is possible to be friends with an escort. So enjoy this ride. Quiver, shake, rattle roll around like the whoremonger you are and put your best back in your beast. You want friends, you might find them here. Come to one of the events. Want local friends. Join a local gay group or attend a gay seminar or join a gay softball league. It is not likely that a gay man is going to walk into your living room and say Can Wolfer come out to play? So you need to get off your stallion and get on your horse to find a friend or twenty. Then get out the wallet and hire that stallion and ride him again and again and again and then call your friend and tell him about it just like you were in high school You are never too old to act like you are a sex starved school girl sharing the secret delicious shame of giving your body to a filthy filthy filthy man who made you come and then left you lying in a pool of come and sweat. So whether you are 17, 71 or 102 it is not too late. It does get better. And if you do it right, it gets better and better and better.

[+ purplekow]

First of all Wolfer, welcum to the Forum. And in your case A Funny Thing did happen on the way here, you had great carnal fun with a hot guy who had you feeling like a vertiginous, quivering moaning fuck stud. He is probably not now nor will he ever be your friend, though I know it is possible to be friends with an escort. So enjoy this ride. Quiver, shake, rattle roll around like the whoremonger you are and put your best back in your beast. You want friends, you might find them here. Come to one of the events. Want local friends. Join a local gay group or attend a gay seminar or join a gay softball league. It is not likely that a gay man is going to walk into your living room and say Can Wolfer come out to play? So you need to get off your stallion and get on your horse to find a friend or twenty. Then get out the wallet and hire that stallion and ride him again and again and again and then call your friend and tell him about it just like you were in high school You are never too old to act like you are a sex starved school girl sharing the secret delicious shame of giving your body to a filthy filthy filthy man who made you come and then left you lying in a pool of come and sweat. So whether you are 17, 71 or 102 it is not too late. It does get better. And if you do it right, it gets better and better and better.

By the way, I wish I had kept a journal of the sexual encounters I have had. My memory is not fool proof and I wish I had the kind of statistics that Kevin Slater has about his being hired.

[Decatur Guy]

Hey, I'm glad you had a great first experience. I also had negative feelings at the beginning. But you know what -- I've actually started having more success in the nonpaying realm too. Having sex with sexy men makes you sexy. It just does.

[Phil_musc]

Congratulations on your first hire! Just read your review and it sounds like you had the kind of experience that I would value.

Your review also got me to go to RB and check out the London guys. All I can say is wow - London seems to have more than its fair share of really hot guys (or at least the kind of guys that appeal to me).

 

I can also identify with your reservations - I used to hire more but found that I was over-thinking everything and just not relaxing into the moment and accepting it for what it was.

 

Again, I'm glad you had such a great time - congrats!

[Wolfer]

You guys! Thanks for all the wonderful replies! Phil_musc, I get that. I don't think I'm really cut out (for now) to be a client that regularly hires. I'm a very emotional guy and can't imagine meeting up with someone (either by hiring or a regular hookup) for just sex. For now I'd always choose a good heart to heart talk over that.

[+ purplekow]

You guys! Thanks for all the wonderful replies! Phil_musc, I get that. I don't think I'm really cut out (for now) to be a client that regularly hires. I'm a very emotional guy and can't imagine meeting up with someone (either by hiring or a regular hookup) for just sex. For now I'd always choose a good heart to heart talk over that.

I have had many a great heart to heart after an intense hard to hard. Enjoying passionate exchange of fluids does not preclude passionate exchange of ideas. You certainly should do what feels comfortable for you to do, but pushing those boundaries makes life memorable.