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The Dividing Line between MIDDLE AGE and OLD AGE


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Putting aside (just for a moment) the comfortable idea that "age is just a number," I wonder how most of us would define the three phases of a lifetime -- Young, Middle-Aged, Old -- but, really, I'm most interested in the dividing line between the latter two. My current "number" suggests that I might be -- well, y'know. I don't feel that way -- and, sure, that counts for something -- but I'm still curious about the objective parameters. Your opinion?

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Reminds me of that scene in "Postcards from the Edge" back in the 80s...... Meryl Streep plays Shirley Maclaine's daughter... and during an argument, Meryl refers to herself as middle aged. Shirley says, "No, dear, I am middle aged" and Meryl says, "How many 120 year old women do you know?"...

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When I was young, middle age was usually understood as approximately 40-55, the period when one stops having sex and focuses seriously on one's career instead of one's physique. However, nowadays "youth" seems to have crept closer to 50, and Boomers think middle age doesn't end even when one is eligible for Medicare. Yesterday I went to the first ever USTA sanctioned same-sex married couples tennis tournament, and when someone said the match I was watching was the "100+" age class, my first reaction was that the players were old, but quickly realized it only meant that the two players' combined age only needed to be 100, i.e., prime middle age.

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I heard a comedian once say..."Ya know some say that 60 is the new 40, I say bullshit, 60 is 60"

 

I guess that's were I stand. I'm a "Boomer" thank God... I feel like I've got some good years ahead of me. I'm looking forward to the future, and I don't feel old. I've also been told that I don't think old, look old, or act old (God bless the escorts that told me that), but the fact is I am old, and I have to be OK with that. I just don't make age a focus of my life. I believe that middle-age and old-age is always were it has been, it's just that many of us in the Boomer generation tend to look forward in a positive way, instead of looking back.

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/is-60-the-new-40-or-is-40-the-new-60-02-05-2007/

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/anne-day/is-60-the-new-40-not-real_b_1270241.html

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Well, I don't know...when I hit 80, I thought "now I am definitely old." But life keeps movin' along, and I don't perceive any major difference. You are what you feel like, I'd say. If you let the numbers get the best of you, you're likely to age a lot more quickly.

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Reminds me of that scene in "Postcards from the Edge" back in the 80s...... Meryl Streep plays Shirley Maclaine's daughter... and during an argument, Meryl refers to herself as middle aged. Shirley says, "No, dear, I am middle aged" and Meryl says, "How many 120 year old women do you know?"...

 

I've always loved that line.

 

Kevin Slater

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Well, I don't know...when I hit 80, I thought "now I am definitely old." But life keeps movin' along, and I don't perceive any major difference. You are what you feel like, I'd say. If you let the numbers get the best of you, you're likely to age a lot more quickly.

 

That's the way I see it. "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was."

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i had this conversation with a patient today who said he felt old at 40 though he knew he was not old. i told him that the doctor practicing in the next room was 88 and he worked 4 days a week...that doctor told me he works for the benefits and I doubt many would call him old. This person, seemed to complain about every ache and pain and was generally miserable. He was old at 40. So age is number but when you are old, you will know it. I came four times the other day with an escort half my age and I doubt he could have done the same (no wise remarks about the quality of the partners) so who was old there? I did not feel old when I hopped out of bed that morning. This morning on the other hand.....Old man River, he just keep rolling along

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There are a few things I hate. I hate terms like, "Senior citizen." It labels those of us who have a ton of things to offer life. When we label, it channels us into a corner. I have followed a few rules of my own. I need to adjust according to my abilities and any medical condition. Keep moving! If I have to give up something, capitalize what I can do. Get outside my self. If I have extra time, do something constructive. If I moan and grown about what I can't do, I'll be in a nursing home with the highlight of my day the next meal. I am fortunate to have a job I love. It helps define me. I have an ex and kids that love me and support me. I have an escort who way beyond the term, that I can't wait to see from time to time. Life is good. Waiting for the next day. I have to tell you a funny story. My ex, who is a couple yrs younger, were out shopping. When we were checking out, the person behind the counter said, "Oh, I see you're out with your son." I never let that pass at gatherings!!!

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i had this conversation with a patient today who said he felt old at 40 though he knew he was not old. i told him that the doctor practicing in the next room was 88 and he worked 4 days a week...that doctor told me he works for the benefits and I doubt many would call him old. This person' date=' seemed to complain about every ache and pain and was generally miserable. He was old at 40. So age is number but when you are old, you will know it. I came four times the other day with an escort half my age and I doubt he could have done the same (no wise remarks about the quality of the partners) so who was old there? I did not feel old when I hopped out of bed that morning. This morning on the other hand.....Old man River, he just keep rolling along [/quote']

 

I am seventy-one, and retired ten years ago from a job I liked to do other things that I enjoyed more. Is the eighty-eight year old doctor still working because he does not know what else to do, or because he loves being a doctor?

 

PK, I can tell you there is a huge difference between the two.

 

As to me, I do not feel old yet. But, that day comes for everyone who lives for a long time, except the lucky ones who die in their sleep or a sudden heart attack or stroke.

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I am seventy-one, and retired ten years ago from a job I liked to do other things that I enjoyed more. Is the eighty-eight year old doctor still working because he does not know what else to do, or because he loves being a doctor?

 

PK, I can tell you there is a huge difference between the two.

 

As to me, I do not feel old yet. But, that day comes for everyone who lives for a long time, except the lucky ones who die in their sleep or a sudden heart attack or stroke.

He complains all the time that the staff can't get his patients in fast enough to keep up with his pace. Granted his staff is pretty poor but he is thorough and diligent and as best I can tell, loves doing what he does.
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I have met many professional guys, Doctors, Nurses, Accountants, Investment Managers, Lawyers, etc. who are all "working" past 75, and who love what they do. Some don't work as many hours as they used to do, but all have told me it keeps them "young", i.e. involved in life, active physically and mentally and they have lots of outside interests too. I don't think of any of them as old, but I did meet a couple of 60 year old guys the other day, and they were "old"...complained about everything, had no interest in anything, and from my perspective they could just as well be dead, as they were of no use to anyone, even themselves. I have never met two guys who were as "old" as they were...

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I have met many professional guys, Doctors, Nurses, Accountants, Investment Managers, Lawyers, etc. who are all "working" past 75, and who love what they do. Some don't work as many hours as they used to do, but all have told me it keeps them "young", i.e. involved in life, active physically and mentally and they have lots of outside interests too. I don't think of any of them as old, but I did meet a couple of 60 year old guys the other day, and they were "old"...complained about everything, had no interest in anything, and from my perspective they could just as well be dead, as they were of no use to anyone, even themselves. I have never met two guys who were as "old" as they were...

 

My sister's psychiatrist died, still practicing, at 95+

"Aren't you bored?" she asked him once.

"On the contrary," he said, "I find the lies that the human psyche can tell itself to be a source of endless fascination."

 

I know a cardiologist who was Harvard Medical School class of '47. He knew more about congenital heart disease in adults than anyone should.

 

For myself: I enjoyed my career in medicine (anesthesiologist) immensely. I spent ten years strictly doing preoperative evaluation.

I got sick and never returned to full time, then was put out to pasture, working on an Electronic Anesthesia Record [that never did go live].

 

I'm 63. Total disability since age 61, so they tell me. I need an electric convenience vehicle at Disneyworld.

I don't miss medicine much, as it was getting too much paperwork and not enough improvement in patient care.

 

Do I feel 63? I was at a deceased friend's condo, helping to clear things out. The next door neighbor came over

for a few questions. He asked me "Are you [the previous owner's] son?" I told him I was [the previous owner's]

senior by two weeks.

 

My last visit with my PCP was centered on convincing me how sick I am and how many health issues I have.

Such Optimism! I say, be happy and go forward.

 

I might be in late middle-age, but as long as I have interesting comments with my juniors by 20-30 years,

I may consider myself Senior (which I like) but "OLD" - not yet. Not by a long shot. Not even after the

hip and knee replacements.

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Old age is 15 years older than I am. That's how one of my relatives described old age. I think he was around 70 when he made that declaration. Think about that for a bit. When you're 15 then 30 seems old. At 30 it's the 45 year old with established career that's "old." At 45, it's the retired man at 60 who's in old age. And thus at 60 it's those geezers at 75 who are in old age.

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i had this conversation with a patient today who said he felt old at 40 though he knew he was not old. i told him that the doctor practicing in the next room was 88 and he worked 4 days a week...that doctor told me he works for the benefits and I doubt many would call him old. This person, seemed to complain about every ache and pain and was generally miserable. He was old at 40. So age is number but when you are old, you will know it. I came four times the other day with an escort half my age and I doubt he could have done the same (no wise remarks about the quality of the partners) so who was old there? I did not feel old when I hopped out of bed that morning. This morning on the other hand.....Old man River, he just keep rolling along

 

It also depends on the person and their lifestyle. In my work I see many patients who look 40 or 50, until I check their chart and am amazed that they are only 20. Hard life, drugs, alcohol, smoking.. its like crypt keeper before your even 40.

 

To the original question, you are only as old as you want to be or feel :)

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Old can be a state of mind OR body

 

I have a very good friend who is 3 years younger than I. We always get together Saturday nights for dinner and a movie. Lately, he's felt too bad from this ache or that pain to make it 2 out of 4 Saturdays a month. This last weekend, he had a terrible back pain which kept him from sleeping well so he canceled on me for Saturday movie but did invite me to spend Sunday at a family Bar-B-Que with him (he didn't have to get out or cook) so I went. After the rest of the family left, his mom (yes, he lives with his mom) went in to work on her computer and we sat down to watch a TV show on demand that we'd missed. Before the prologue/teaser was finished, he'd fallen asleep sitting up on the couch.

 

I watched the show, then after that I bid farewell to his mom, thanked her for the dinner and woke him up and took my leave. Before I was even out the door he was asleep on the couch again. No wonder he didn't get much rest at night. Long story short (I know, Too Late! ;) ) he called me around 8 pm that evening and apologized for falling asleep and asked me what he said to me when I said goodbye since he said he could only vaguely recall me leaving that afternoon. I feel like he has become old while I still feel middle-aged. If it is medical I sincerely hope he can get a doctor to diagnose why he has so little energy.

 

I was just thinking as he slept that perhaps the men I have been hiring are one of the major reasons I do not feel old. I do feel energized every time I have a great escort experience, whether the escort is a new guy or one of my favorites.

 

TruHart1 :cool:

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I don't feel old when I am surrounded by people my own age, as I usual am. However, when I mention something that I remember from my past, and the person I am speaking with says, "Oh, that happened before I was born," then I feel old. For instance, the celebrations of the 25th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall last year reminded me that I was an adult when it was built. When I reminisced about being taught how to write in cursive, I told a student that my teacher wouldn't let us use the newly invented ball point pen; my incredulous interlocutor sarcastically asked, "What did you use? A pen that you dipped in an ink well?" Well, yes.

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When I reminisced about being taught how to write in cursive, I told a student that my teacher wouldn't let us use the newly invented ball point pen; my incredulous interlocutor sarcastically asked, "What did you use? A pen that you dipped in an ink well?" Well, yes.

 

In a few more years the question will be "what is cursive?" because many schools don't teach it any more. <sigh>

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Pretty much all my life, from childhood until now, I have seen the dividing line between youth and middle age as about 50 and the dividing line between middle age and old age as about 70. At my current age of 62, I consider myself to be in the mid-middle age phase of my life. I'm always on the lookout for role models for the next stage of life, so right now I'm scoping out 70 year-olds that I admire.

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