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Perplexing No-Show


julius
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A recent thread here about cancellations got me thinking about a baffling no-show a while back. I only hire when I travel, so I like to book in advance. It usually works out great because, thanks to this great site, I stick with guys who have a reputation of real professionalism. (I recently regretted not following that rule when I had a no-show who gave ever-popular “my bf got back in town unexpectedly” excuse. How ever do some guys manage to schedule a career around all their globetrotting boyfriends?)

 

Anyway, there was this one escort whom I saw a few times (four or so) at a big northern city over about a year and a half. I really had a great time with him, and always got the impression that the feeling was mutual. He was always prompt, friendly, communicative, open and great fun. I saw him several times and he was always enthusiastic, so I assume my appearance, hygiene, preferences (totally vanilla), etc. were acceptable to him.

 

The last time I was visiting his town, I booked two sessions with him, well in advance as always, comfirming when I got in town. He showed up on time and sweet as ever for the first, and we had our usual great time. He left and said he looked forward to seeing me for the second session.

 

That was the last I heard from him. After he was about 20 minutes late for the second session - my last night in town - I called him. (Like I say, he was always very prompt and clear with his calls and emails). Another person answered and said that the escort was ill and had been in the emergency room all day, but that he had my number would call me.

 

I emailed/called him a couple of times over the next week after I got home to see if he was OK, but he never responded. I checked his blog and saw some new posts - no mention of any illness – so I stopped trying to contact him. I didn’t want to be the guy who can’t take a hint. That was about a year ago. I’ve seen this escort reviewed (glowingly) here more than a few times since then - including very recently - so I know he’s still around.

 

I’m still really perplexed about just what the hell happened. On the one hand, I think it’s entirely possible that he just flaked and was really embarassed about it. He always seemed to be a genuinely sweet guy – all his reviews agree – and there is absolutely nothing in our earlier encounters that would lead me to believe I had in any way offended him or put him off. On the other hand, it’s hard not to take his abrupt no-show and subsequent total silence as a deliberate and permanent brush-off.

 

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my own insecurities weren’t in play here – I keep looking to find what it is about me that prompted this. But I feel a little conflicted, too. I felt so comfortable and had such fun with this guy that I’d really like to see him again. (I’m planning a trip to his town soon.) But then again, why would I? His behavior was at best unprofessional, and what would be the point of entertaining the possibilty of more of the same? He’s not the only oyster in the stew, as Fats Waller said. Still, if the guy was just having a bad night, I could certainly understand and get over it.

 

So, any thoughts? Brush-off or a flake-out? Second chance or move ? Believe me, I wouldn’t give it a second thought if I hadn’t enjoyed my time with him as much as I did: he really is amazing, as all his reviews here agree.

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This wasn't about you; This was about him... If you won't have a good time, go shuck another oyster.

 

http://photos.travellerspoint.com/314279/large_IMG_7522_edit.jpg

 

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my own insecurities weren’t in play here – I keep looking to find what it is about me that prompted this. But I feel a little conflicted, too. I felt so comfortable and had such fun with this guy that I’d really like to see him again. (I’m planning a trip to his town soon.) But then again, why would I? His behavior was at best unprofessional, and what would be the point of entertaining the possibilty of more of the same? He’s not the only oyster in the stew, as Fats Waller said. Still, if the guy was just having a bad night, I could certainly understand and get over it.

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first, to be sure, absolutely nothing happened at your last meet that would put him off, right?.....

 

since it's been a year - and since you're planning to go to his city again - I'd simply email/call him again, remind him who you are, say you hope he's up to meeting with you again when you're back in his town, ask if he has any questions, and see if he replies....all very friendly and pressure-free.....you could even ask if he had some concerns about the previous meetings since you didn't get any replies

 

no revelations, I guess, but it's all you can do, right?

 

it's all very weird, I know.....my favorite escort very suddenly stopped contacting me several months ago...nothing at all despite my emails and texts....turns out some "friend" of his "hacked" all his accounts and phone numbers and it took him a long time to get it all figured out.....can't take it too seriously, but I know we sometimes find guys we very much like and enjoy hanging with.....and then ?????

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I had a similar experience with an escort i had hired for several overnights. Very well reviewed, even by me. He cancelled an appointment and then answered a few e mails but would not commit to another appointment. I asked if there was an issue and he gave a weak answer. I chose to accept his given answer, though I suspect there is more to it. These escorts, like most other people who come into your life, move on and exit, likely not to cross paths again. Forget this particular fish, the one that got away, and stick your line in the water for a bigger catch.

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Julius, I had a similar experience a few years ago. I know that in the past I failed to appreciate just how flaky or disorganised younger men can be in their daily lives. I guess this is because at their age I held a responsible job. With muscled, younger men who are handsome and give me a great time in bed, I persist.

 

So I feel you've received good advice...both on the lines of Move On and Contact Again ;-) That's to say, I think it depends on you and how you feel about this guy. If you truly would enjoy meeting him again, I suggest you simply write and ask for another date (but, contrary to azdr's view, I would NOT refer to your last abortive meeting). And if you do meet up with him, don't dredge up the past - there may be no real explanation and you should resist the urge to seek clarification - simply enjoy the moment of being with him.

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Occasionally, the escort-client interaction ends abruptly, and has nothing to do with you, as the client. For example, a while back, I saw an escort several times, overnights, great times together. He is hot, fun, friendly, just a great guy. During our last session (which was a planned overnighter while visiting his city), we seemed to be having our usual fun time, hanging out, dinner, tearing up the bed with some scorching hot sex, then we bedded down and turned off the lights for some sleep. I had just dozed off when he wakens me and tells me he needs to go. It was awkward, weird, and out-of-character with our previous meets. He accepted a prorated share of his fee since he ended the appointment early. He dressed and left. I thought it very odd, but turned off the lights and went to sleep. A day or two later I sent him a brief email checking in with him, and didn't hear from him again. I did not send him a second email and did not call. It's over and that is that. Nothing wrong with me, may or may not be anything wrong with him, I don't know, but that's not for me to fret about. He moved on, and I did too.

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The answer is simple. For whatever reason, one of the parties involved doesnt think the chemistry was working, is not enjoying themselves, and has decided to end the current session, or simply NOT have a repeat performance. Should they communicate that with you ? Of Course, but some will not. Perhaps its HIM ??? Perhaps its YOU ??? Maybe its a 50-50 thing ???? Bottom line it didnt work and wont work again. Theres certainly enuf escorts out there to meat your needs. Find one and stop dwelling.....

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The answer is simple. For whatever reason, one of the parties involved doesnt think the chemistry was working, is not enjoying themselves, and has decided to end the current session, or simply NOT have a repeat performance. Should they communicate that with you ? Of Course, but some will not. Perhaps its HIM ??? Perhaps its YOU ??? Maybe its a 50-50 thing ???? Bottom line it didnt work and wont work again. Theres certainly enuf escorts out there to meat your needs. Find one and stop dwelling.....

 

 

Sadly, in this case, what JJ says is about right. It's happened to me. It's happened, I suspect, to most of us. Some have been let down gently, some have felt dumped. But it's all the same. The "pants" didn't fit--not their fault or yours. Try a different store, a different style, a different color, a different size--well, you get the idea.

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(but, contrary to azdr's view, I would NOT refer to your last abortive meeting)

 

re-reading my post, I think Mscle is right about my idea.....don't bring up anything about "issues" from before....

 

yeah, as others said here, you may've done nothing wrong and still the guy flakes....obviously, it's him and not you, but you had so much fun and love hanging with the guy that you don't want to lose that....it can be difficult

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The problem with trying to arrange another appt. is that you will be wondering all the time if he will show up, and if he doesn't, you will have wasted an opportunity to book someone else. If he does show up, you will be dying to ask him what happened the last time, but if you do, it may spoil the whole session if he takes the question badly, or if he gives you an answer that you don't believe. The advice to forget about him is the best.

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A recent thread here about cancellations got me thinking about a baffling no-show a while back. I only hire when I travel, so I like to book in advance. It usually works out great because, thanks to this great site, I stick with guys who have a reputation of real professionalism. (I recently regretted not following that rule when I had a no-show who gave ever-popular “my bf got back in town unexpectedly” excuse. How ever do some guys manage to schedule a career around all their globetrotting boyfriends?)

 

Anyway, there was this one escort whom I saw a few times (four or so) at a big northern city over about a year and a half. I really had a great time with him, and always got the impression that the feeling was mutual. He was always prompt, friendly, communicative, open and great fun. I saw him several times and he was always enthusiastic, so I assume my appearance, hygiene, preferences (totally vanilla), etc. were acceptable to him.

 

The last time I was visiting his town, I booked two sessions with him, well in advance as always, comfirming when I got in town. He showed up on time and sweet as ever for the first, and we had our usual great time. He left and said he looked forward to seeing me for the second session.

 

That was the last I heard from him. After he was about 20 minutes late for the second session - my last night in town - I called him. (Like I say, he was always very prompt and clear with his calls and emails). Another person answered and said that the escort was ill and had been in the emergency room all day, but that he had my number would call me.

 

I emailed/called him a couple of times over the next week after I got home to see if he was OK, but he never responded. I checked his blog and saw some new posts - no mention of any illness – so I stopped trying to contact him. I didn’t want to be the guy who can’t take a hint. That was about a year ago. I’ve seen this escort reviewed (glowingly) here more than a few times since then - including very recently - so I know he’s still around.

 

I’m still really perplexed about just what the hell happened. On the one hand, I think it’s entirely possible that he just flaked and was really embarassed about it. He always seemed to be a genuinely sweet guy – all his reviews agree – and there is absolutely nothing in our earlier encounters that would lead me to believe I had in any way offended him or put him off. On the other hand, it’s hard not to take his abrupt no-show and subsequent total silence as a deliberate and permanent brush-off.

 

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that my own insecurities weren’t in play here – I keep looking to find what it is about me that prompted this. But I feel a little conflicted, too. I felt so comfortable and had such fun with this guy that I’d really like to see him again. (I’m planning a trip to his town soon.) But then again, why would I? His behavior was at best unprofessional, and what would be the point of entertaining the possibilty of more of the same? He’s not the only oyster in the stew, as Fats Waller said. Still, if the guy was just having a bad night, I could certainly understand and get over it.

 

So, any thoughts? Brush-off or a flake-out? Second chance or move ? Believe me, I wouldn’t give it a second thought if I hadn’t enjoyed my time with him as much as I did: he really is amazing, as all his reviews here agree.

 

He could be embarrassed, or he could have gotten a much better offer—or something could have happened during the prior appointment that made him resistant to meeting again.

 

I had a client earlier this year who I met for the first time and everything was great—stellar, even. We met for the second time and it was dreadful—he was unclean and wanted to have unsafe sex, and kept trying to push it on me. It finally worsened to the point where I basically said: "okay, we're done," which is something I might have done once before in all the years that I've done this.

 

Analyze if you made any major changes in the dynamic, and if the answer is "no," then move on.

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Try to keep perspective that this is a client/provider situation, and not a personal relationship. Regardless of your previous good experiences, this guy either flaked on you or decided to take a pass. There are plenty of fish in the sea, don't give him another thought and just move on.

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There is absolutely NO WAY I could have said it any better than bobchitown:

 

"Try to keep perspective that this is a client/provider situation, and not a personal relationship. Regardless of your previous good experiences, this guy either flaked on you or decided to take a pass. There are plenty of fish in the sea, don't give him another thought and just move on."

 

That literally says it ALL.

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It may also be that he found himself falling in love with you and figured a clean break was the only option. Maybe he had his roommate take your last call because he just couldn't trust himself.

http://file.blog-24.com/utili/90000/92000/92184/file/z9997/z9996/z9995/z9994/09996/000b_portrait_049.gif

( At least that'll be my story when it happens to me. http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif )

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As I prepare for my next "dump", I remember my last: There was almost no interactions; all our prior kissing / hugging / yadda-yadda-yadda was not there. Three months later I was hospitalized for three months and out of work for six months. Somewhen, he found a boyfriend; perhaps such had started during that time period.

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