A Weighty Issue

[+ Lucky]

Not many people lining up to hire guys over 40 either.

Escorts tend to be young, slim, but not necessarily handsome.

It's their skills in bed that people want.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Not many people lining up to hire guys over 40 either.

Escorts tend to be young, slim, but not necessarily handsome.

It's their skills in bed that people want.

 

I don't agree with that. Hell, I hired 4 of them during PS weekend.

 

Ace, Nate Bruno, Tyger, david-sf, and the legendary dave sure seem to have a line of guys wanting to hire them.

[tom1980]

It is indisputable that BMI is flawed and incorrectly measures guys with a large amount of muscle mass. But I'd be surprised if the most muscled body builder had a BMI as high as 40. There comes a point where muscle cannot account for the weight to height ratio that BMI measures.

 

Rockhard's comment on pictures of overweight guys reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago after we went shopping at a "big and tall" store. They gave us a catalogue and my friend and I browsed through it over lunch. At one point he looked up at me and said, "Have you ever noticed that all the models are tall?"

[jjkrkwood]

Not many people lining up to hire guys over 40 either.

Escorts tend to be young, slim, but not necessarily handsome.

It's their skills in bed that people want.

 

According to many reviews I have read, many escorts are lacking in the SKILL dept too, and their service menus are limited, so that negates the Skill theory.

 

I think people hire MORE for physical attraction, guys that turn them on that they FEEL they are not able to encounter or get in real life. If they just wanted an ass to fuck or a dick to suck, they can pickup any dude off the street...

[RockHard]

Generalizations.

 

Not many people lining up to hire guys over 40 either.

 

I think the hiring mentality in NYC is not the same as in California. No two markets ever share the same mindset.

 

Escorts tend to be young, slim, but not necessarily handsome.

 

That's an interesting statement. Not sure what it says, except that over-60 customers only care about young, slim boys with cock, and who cares if the face is barking.

 

I don't get the old man/young boy paring. It creeps me out.

 

It's their skills in bed that people want.

 

Young gay boys have skills? That just makes me laugh. I work with young gay boys regularly. Very few impress me with skills of any kind. The majority are extremely self-centered. Maybe self-centered works for young escorts who take on fat customers. The escort lies there (with his eyes closed) while the chub does all the work. And then the chub writes a review saying no reciprocation was OK because his oral needs were fulfilled. ("I love to please young boys.")

 

I can't remember the last time a gay guy under 26 impressed me, sexually. I'm sure your customer description exists, Lucky, but I don't see him in my circle.

 

I'm very much turned on by healthy men, and typically those men are 30 and over. I realize I'm younger than most here but I already have a son. I don't have a need to go anywhere near that fantasy.

[rvwnsd]

...we went shopping at a "big and tall" store. They gave us a catalogue and my friend and I browsed through it over lunch. At one point he looked up at me and said, "Have you ever noticed that all the models are tall?"

 

Funny that your friend made that observation. At 6'4" tall, I wear a size XLT shirt and a size 46 extra long suit. Regular stores sometimes carry dress shirts in my size, but that's about it. I've shopped at one of the "big and tall" chain stores and bought nothing. They had plenty of 4XL and 3XLT shirts and size 50 suits, but nothing in my size. The catalog had a rather paltry selection of clothes to fit someone who is simply very tall.

[josephga]

yeah being tall can be a pain too. at 6'4 i wear a xlt shirt but the sleeves feel to short. shirts that fit me best are dress shirts in a 17 1/2 with 36 sleaves

[jjkrkwood]

yeah being tall can be a pain too. at 6'4 i wear a xlt shirt but the sleeves feel to short. shirts that fit me best are dress shirts in a 17 1/2 with 36 sleaves

 

Tall has its benefits. A 300 lb guy at 6'4 will look significantly smaller than a 300 lb guy at 5'9.....

[maxwellissmart]

The bottom line: If fat can't turn you on, if you don't have the brain power to visualize Leo Giamani while you're being smothered in blubber, no escort should be required to "perform" if he knows he is incapable. Being incapable does not make you "half-assed" or indecent.

 

If you are incapable of being sexually turned-on by a fat man, the professional thing to do is to state weight limits in your ad. The larger the number, the broader market reach you will achieve.

 

Maxwell says, "I want to have a mental picture of the person I'm meeting," but pictures arouse suspicion. I don't get that. There is no better "metal picture" than an actual picture. Everyone communicates with pictures today. A profile without a picture is the true suspect.

 

This is not a black/white issue. I will admit there are clients I have turned down because their weight was an issue. It was an issue because they either would not or could not practice proper hygiene. Or that they wanted to be a top and their body created logistical problems. Or whatever. There are clients I have seen (and continue to see) who are big and know exactly what to do in bed. They have fantastic personalities. They make me laugh. They are creative during our time together and accept what they can and can't do. I don't imagine them as Leo Giamani, because I think Leo Giamani looks like a slightly cross-eyed doofus who appears slightly smarter than a rock.

 

The reason why pictures arouse suspicion in me is simple: at least 90% of the clients who have contacted me and sent pics have never come to pass. They tend to be flakes. They tend to be liars who have contacted me under previous email accounts. They tend to send me pics and then are like: "now it's YOUR turn." Well no, it's not my turn—because I was upfront with you from the get-go and told you I don't send pics. These guys are pic collectors.

 

I believe in "no surprise" transactions—although I've gotten surprised plenty of times, with both the pleasant and unpleasant variety.

 

The only elephant in the room is when someone doesn't know how to accept the word: "no." Clients use it all the time—when they contact us and take up time getting information and establishing a dynamic and making plans and confirming and... then they still don't call back. We're supposed to accept behavior such as this with a smile and a logical understanding that it's the way of the escort world, and sometimes you don't get a reason from a client why they didn't hire you after all. Well, let's turn that logic at the client—sometimes I don't want to be hired by you. Is it that surprising? Does it upset you? Do you wonder why? Are you unable to move on and find someone else? Would you rather me go through the motions and pretend (or sometimes not) so I can basically shit on you and your desires and wants and needs and collect my money? From the sound of many, many past posts—that's exactly what happens. As for me, I can't be bothered with it—and if that confuses people, or makes me a diva or a bad escort—then so be it. But I'll be a bad escort with a guilt-free conscience who didn't purposely screw someone out of their money just because I knew I could and get away with it.

[josephga]

I've had guys email me pics when requesting massage it's a automatic no appointment.

[tom1980]

Maxwell -- aside from asking a client's stats, are there other questions you ask a new client to determine whether you are a good fit? How I respond to escort questions depends on how they are phrased. If I send a message saying I saw your ad and am interested in setting up a time to meet you (not you specifically; you in the general sense of any escort I might contact), and the response I get is, "Stats?" If that's all he says, then I'm not likely to respond favorably. But if the escort says something like, "thanks for contacting me. Tell me a little bit about yourself so that I can determine whether I would be a good match for you." Then I'm much more likely to think the escort is a professional who cares about providing a good experience. I'm guessing your approach is more like the second, but I am curious to know what other information you would like to have before meeting a client. I know you explained how a person's description of himself tells you more about the person than just his appearance, but are there other questions you ask or information you wish clients would volunteer to ensure you are compatible? I'm always curious to hear what I can do to be a better client and avoid bad or even mediocre escort experiences.

[jjkrkwood]

Maxwell -- aside from asking a client's stats, are there other questions you ask a new client to determine whether you are a good fit? How I respond to escort questions depends on how they are phrased. If I send a message saying I saw your ad and am interested in setting up a time to meet you (not you specifically; you in the general sense of any escort I might contact), and the response I get is, "Stats?" If that's all he says, then I'm not likely to respond favorably. But if the escort says something like, "thanks for contacting me. Tell me a little bit about yourself so that I can determine whether I would be a good match for you." Then I'm much more likely to think the escort is a professional who cares about providing a good experience. I'm guessing your approach is more like the second, but I am curious to know what other information you would like to have before meeting a client. I know you explained how a person's description of himself tells you more about the person than just his appearance, but are there other questions you ask or information you wish clients would volunteer to ensure you are compatible? I'm always curious to hear what I can do to be a better client and avoid bad or even mediocre escort experiences.

 

Its kinda like on cruising websites when you contact a guy, and they write back simply a/s/l ???? Its as if they are trying to "qualify" you to speak with them. Those guys are just web site jerkoffs with no real intention of ever meeting. I suppose with escorts or masseurs, its a "qualifying" issue as well, but could result in an actual Paid encounter. ?

[gallahadesquire]

I am working hard on losing weight. As of this morning, I'm down 46 pounds since Dec. 2nd. And I'm rejoicing in that tonight.

 

Don't Rejoice TOO hard! you'll put it back on! And Congratulations!

 

My rejoicing, after a three month stint in hospital and out of work for six months in 2010, is what got me back up to where I am

[gallahadesquire]

Funny that your friend made that observation. At 6'4" tall, I wear a size XLT shirt and a size 46 extra long suit. Regular stores sometimes carry dress shirts in my size, but that's about it. I've shopped at one of the "big and tall" chain stores and bought nothing. They had plenty of 4XL and 3XLT shirts and size 50 suits, but nothing in my size. The catalog had a rather paltry selection of clothes to fit someone who is simply very tall.

 

Get a bespoke suit: Go to London and have a custom-made suit at Seville Row. They customize is slightly baggy and comfortable, or you can get nice-and-fitted. If you have to wear a suit to work, you might be able to discount it on your income tax. Just a thought.

[tom1980]

I did that (rejoiced too hard) several years ago after I lost about 50 pounds. Six months after reaching my low weight, I'd gained it all back plus an additional 10 pounds. Once the weight starts coming back, the depression --> eating --> more depression cycle kicks in for me. Since then, I've settled into a pretty steady weight about 25 pounds less than my high point. I should lose a lot more, but it isn't easy. I have a sedentary desk job with long hours that makes me want to eat bad food and leaves little time or motivation for exercise. Occasionally I get on an exercise kick that lasts for a month or two. I may drop ten pounds, but then I stop and pick the weight right back up again.

[Kevin Slater]

Not many people lining up to hire guys over 40 either.

 

I beg to differ.

 

Kevin Slater

[maxwellissmart]

Its kinda like on cruising websites when you contact a guy, and they write back simply a/s/l ???? Its as if they are trying to "qualify" you to speak with them. Those guys are just web site jerkoffs with no real intention of ever meeting. I suppose with escorts or masseurs, its a "qualifying" issue as well, but could result in an actual Paid encounter. ?

 

Exactly. Earlier there was a thread about clients who use texting as a primary means of contact, and how many escorts cringe when they get these because most consist of "suck u u fuck me" (which is from an actual text, by the way) when you ask a client to tell you what they're looking for. When the mic is passed to the potential client and I say: "so, tell me about yourself," what they choose to say and how they say it become important. I'm not looking for the Gettysburg Address here, people. But I'd much rather hook up with someone who says "Hi, thanks for getting back to me so quickly. I'm 46, could stand to lose a few pounds but I've started exercising again and feel much better about myself. I am looking for someone to take it a little slow with me because I'm relatively new at this..." and so on as opposed to "masc/musc/top-vers/34, 185 u?" I just turned down someone like that the other night because it was like pulling teeth to get that much out of them. I'd rather see the overweight guy who seems friendly and will likely be appreciative.

 

And I've never once replied to someone with "Stats?" The kind of information I'm looking for isn't that complicated: what do you look like, what are you into, what would you like this experience to be for you? By exchanging that kind of information, you not only reveal something about yourself, but also the person you're looking to spend time and exchange money with. If your escort isn't asking you these kinds of questions—look for another escort.

[maxwellissmart]

I beg to differ.

 

Kevin Slater

 

I concur—I've been told by plenty of clients that I was the youngest hire they had ever made, and the only reason was the way I conducted myself via email or phone (or my profile).

[Guy Fawkes]

Déjà vu... Just talked about this for somebody else. Here's What I said:

 

Yes I find that the industry is very ageist... They consistently hire people in their 30's and 40's. They prefer Gentlemen with 5-10 years experience. Having trouble believing this? Go check out every "Escort of the year" since 2007. The youngest was on the high side of 30's.

 

 

Now I will admit that I do consider 30's and 40's to be young, so I'll give you that one. but slim? Looking around the pool party I'd only count one as "Slim" and all of them managed to turn heads w/o a bed in sight.

 

Escorts come in all shapes and sizes, I can point out examples at most of the extremes. It's the attitude and the confidence that they project and give the clients that really matters.

 

I will admit the cream of the crop showed up in Palm Springs but from my point of view it was their "Attitude" that set Palm Springs on it's ear. A very sexy and accepting attitude that was just about universally appealing.

 

Not many people lining up to hire guys over 40 either.

Escorts tend to be young, slim, but not necessarily handsome.

It's their skills in bed that people want.

[Guest countryboywny]

It's the attitude and the confidence that they project and give the clients that really matters.

 

I will admit the cream of the crop showed up in Palm Springs but from my point of view it was their "Attitude" that set Palm Springs on it's ear. A very sexy and accepting attitude that was just about universally appealing.

 

Amen, Daddy. You hit the proverbial nail on the head, as usual.

[+ Socalguy]

I will admit the cream of the crop showed up in Palm Springs but from my point of view it was their "Attitude" that set Palm Springs on it's ear. A very sexy and accepting attitude that was just about universally appealing.

 

First off, what an awesome thread for me to make my post! I have only hired 2 escorts before and I was wondering each time if I should mention being a little overweight.

 

Secondly I think Daddy hit the nail on the head, as someone who was lucky enough to be there, they were definitely good looking but it was much more their attitude which drove me nuts. They were so hot yet so approachable, they made me feel hot

[+ azdr0710]

 

And as far as pics go—I've stated before that I don't require or even ask for them (and clients who send them raise my suspicions).

 

hey Max...I hope you see this.....wondering why suspicions are raised when a client sends a picture....I sometimes send a very G-rated picture, not a close-up, of myself just as part of the intro and all that....just to be friendly, above board.....sometimes (not always) I do it in hopes they'll return the favor with a different not-in-their-ad picture.....thanks for your reply

[+ purplekow]

First off, what an awesome thread for me to make my post! I have only hired 2 escorts before and I was wondering each time if I should mention being a little overweight.

 

Secondly I think Daddy hit the nail on the head, as someone who was lucky enough to be there, they were definitely good looking but it was much more their attitude which drove me nuts. They were so hot yet so approachable, they made me feel hot

Welcome Socalguy. This may be a first, a poster on this site who has been to a Palm Springs fete before posting on the site. I am jealous. I look forward to your future posts.

[maxwellissmart]

hey Max...I hope you see this.....wondering why suspicions are raised when a client sends a picture....I sometimes send a very G-rated picture, not a close-up, of myself just as part of the intro and all that....just to be friendly, above board.....sometimes (not always) I do it in hopes they'll return the favor with a different not-in-their-ad picture.....thanks for your reply

 

Let's see... because almost every potential client who contacts me uses the word "discreet" at some point in their communication. Secrecy and escorting go hand-in-hand, and I actually prefer it that way, because it's what the majority wants and the majority tends to be a safe bet. Clients who deviate too far from the norm are almost always bad. When they offer too much money, call at 3am, or are too forthcoming, they are potentially dangerous (yes, I know—it's ironic, after all that talk about communication, but there are limits to everything), and it seems like a tactic that might be used in a sting operation in order to gain someone's trust.

 

And honestly—I've never understood why someone asks me for another picture when I usually have anywhere from 8-12 posted at any given time. I try to put a variety of pics and show a potential client everything I can short of meeting with them. When someone contacts me and asks if I can send them another pic (or worse yet, pics), I assume they're a pic collector and I usually stop responding. This isn't something I've just decided to do on a whim—I've escorted for a while, and decisions like this are based on experience. I've been contacted by a lot of clients. I've gotten requests for pics. Face pics. Nude pics. Theme pics. I've gotten requests for special photoshoots ranging from me wearing a suit and tie to expectations that I would go out and buy special underwear or boots or a hat or whatever. All so someone could make up their mind whether or not to hire me. Tonight I had someone contact me via text—the way they started the conversation was: "Hey." And then they followed it up with "U for hire? Stats? Pics?"

 

Awesome. Of course I'm for hire—I have an active profile on M4RN that says: "Hire me!" And after that I'm thinking: You're able to read my phone number off my profile, which is located about three inches to the right of my pictures and all my info. You are therefore wasting my time. Click.

[jjkrkwood]

. Tonight I had someone contact me via text—the way they started the conversation was: "Hey." And then they followed it up with "U for hire? Stats? Pics?"

 

Awesome. Of course I'm for hire—I have an active profile on M4RN that says: "Hire me!" And after that I'm thinking: You're able to read my phone number off my profile, which is located about three inches to the right of my pictures and all my info. You are therefore wasting my time. Click.

 

Sometimes, I think a client might just be awkward and NOT know what to say, and they just says something stupid as an ice breaker. Little does he know that instead his comments are an "ice maker".... Usually these are "newbies", and their awkwardness will go away with time and experience. If not, they are just jerk-offs that just want to PLAY around online cause they have nuthin better to do...