Friday Funnies

[+ Tygerscent]

[+ Tygerscent]

I don’t actually use poppers but, I still thought this was funny enough to share~ 

[Guest]

[Guest]

[+ Tygerscent]

Half-Lobster Scientist Just Going To Hope Coworkers Don’t Notice He Had Mishap With CRISPR

BERKELEY, CA—Admitting he felt self-conscious following a workplace accident involving the highly experimental gene-editing technology, a local half-lobster scientist told reporters Friday he would just have to hope his coworkers didn’t notice his CRISPR mishap. “The main thing I need to do is make sure I don’t slip up and try to shake someone’s hand, because that would be a dead giveaway,” said University of California, Berkeley, microbiologist Steven Lipstadt, using his gigantic claws to put on a novelty sombrero he had purchased on his lunch break in order to hide the long antennae projecting outward from his head. “Luckily my lab coat covers up quite a bit of my tail, so as long as I stay behind my desk, no one should notice that. Maybe people will see my protruding crimson rostrum and think I just have a cold or something? Ugh. If anyone notices I look a little different today, I’ll tell them I got a haircut. I just hope nobody here has a shellfish allergy.” At press time, Lipstadt was reportedly worried the nighttime cleaning staff would discovered that the half-human lobster had been forced to smother with a couch cushion and stuff into a trash can after seeing Lipstadt working late in the lab while listening to the B-52’s. 

 (News Update by The Onion)

Edited April 25, 2022 by Tygerscent

[gallahadesquire]

On 4/19/2022 at 1:03 AM, Tygerscent said:

I don’t actually use poppers but, I still thought this was funny enough to share~ 

My father always called her Mary Popinski. 

[mike carey]

This pun is a bit meta.

[mike carey]

This was posted in a twitter thread here but it's pretty widely applicable when you're in there. Or here for that matter!

[Guest]

"Chris" and I will be doing an almost 3-week tour of Britain in about 6 weeks. We will have about 6 days in London, and I don't know if we'll get to the Abbey Road Studios. I've never been. Although I've traveled extensively in most western European countries, I have only passing knowledge of Britain, so it will be interesting to get to know this country. So far, I've only visited London, Oxford, Stratford, and Edinburgh. I guess I've been afraid of too much rain, and the fact that I can't drive there. We'll be doing a bus tour, so I won't have to worry about driving.

Edited May 1, 2022 by Unicorn

[BSR]

 

[+ poolboy48220]

On 5/2/2022 at 8:39 PM, BSR said:

 

That's right up there with the pharmaceutical commercials - "Do not take Obliterol if you are allergic to Obliterol".  

[samhexum]

[Kevin Slater]

Have I told you guys my elevator joke? It works on many levels.

Kevin Slater

[mike carey]

3 hours ago, Kevin Slater said:

Have I told you guys my elevator joke? It works on many levels.

Kevin Slater

Lol, I needed a lift!

[Guest]

1 hour ago, mike carey said:

Lol, I needed a lift!

Reminds me of a 70s commercial....

 

 

Edited May 8, 2022 by Unicorn

[Guest]

You could fly from the SF Bay Area to LA for $16.50, and not have to pay for luggage or seats!

 

[+ easygoingpal]

Better than an army Swiss knife...

[Guest]

Get your chicken at Sam 'n Ella's Chicken Shack! 🤢

[Guest]

[Guest]

[Guest]

Or you can head to Lake City, Florida for this damned place!

 

Reviews are mixed as to how Fu King good the food is...

https://www.yelp.com/biz/fu-king-chinese-restaurant-lake-city

Edited May 11, 2022 by Unicorn

[MikeBiDude]

Those posts remind me of:

[Guest]

You could go to North Richland Hills, Texas for some fish!

[Guest]

The seafood might be better than at Captain Poo's. I hear he leaves his fish on the poop deck!

https://www.yelp.com/biz/captain-poos-bar-and-grill-north-myrtle-beach

[Guest]