Transition from therapeutic to erotic with therapist

[Frenchjuris]

I have a massage therapist I’ve seen since 2020. It’s always been therapeutic. Since I started with him, he’s started to offer erotic and he even has an OF. Our massages have remained strictly therapeutic. It feels weird to ask him about transitioning to erotic and I’m concerned about him shutting that down and me feeling weird or even the professional relationship ending over me asking. Advice? 

[BigDMike]

I would think if he's expanded his services and hasn't made mention of them to offer to you...perhaps he isn't interested?  I mean....if he invites strangers in and offers that service, there are several accounts on here of people expecting to get a sensual massage and it never transpires since the provider isn't into them.  Sad...but true.  Or...he could just think that's not your thing and not aware you want to cross that line since it's something you haven't experienced before and he's not looking to lose a good client over a line that he may not think you want crossed.

I'd go about it like this...I am assuming you've been researching and found his new services versus him telling you about this right up front?  If so, perhaps something like...hey...I was purusing ___ and noticed your profile now leads into ____.  Is that a new thing?  How's that going?  I'd be interested if you're getting into it

[nomad]

If he's offer erotic services now to rando, I don't see why he wouldn't offer that to you.  He may not think you are interested and doesn't want to lose a long-time customer.  Just ask.  He will tell.  Would be shocked if he said no to you after all this time.

[nomad]

58 minutes ago, Frenchjuris said:

he’s started to offer erotic and he even has an OF. 

The OF is why I don't think he will say no to your ask.  Flip over with a rager and plead for a HE release.  👏

Edited Thursday at 11:49 PM by nomad

[jonasfoleson]

Depends. if he's an actual theurapist therapist and trained by a professional body, they often have ethics in place that prohibit it.

If he's just some person who learnt tantra and then decided to offer massages in good faith, then there are fewer restritions in place. But then it canbe complicated. it could blur his offerings, but then again it could work. 

[viewing ownly]

He presumes you're liking your current arrangement, plain and simple. Unless you speak up, it will stay the same. Back when I would have regulars, I could sense when they just weren't in the mood, so those sessions kinda sucked in a bad way, but I'm also under the understanding I'm donating for a massage, so if I get more, it's merely a bonus, not an expectation. 

[+ Jamie21]

Book an erotic massage with him. He must advertise those somewhere, so book via that. He definitely won’t transition from therapeutic to erotic mid session for you because firstly it’s not ethical to do so, secondly you’ll have paid (or been quoted)  the lower therapeutic rate, and thirdly he won’t have mentally (and physically) prepared for erotic. 
These things are two separate services. Don’t muddle them up. 

[nomad]

That's fair.  Maybe after your next session you ask him politely.  Say that you noticed he was now offering this new service and if you could try it the next time.  That way there is no risk of him not understanding and being in the right mindset to provide what your seeking.  Eliminates any ethical risks.  

[+ JamesB]

14 hours ago, Frenchjuris said:

I have a massage therapist I’ve seen since 2020. It’s always been therapeutic. Since I started with him, he’s started to offer erotic and he even has an OF. Our massages have remained strictly therapeutic. It feels weird to ask him about transitioning to erotic and I’m concerned about him shutting that down and me feeling weird or even the professional relationship ending over me asking. Advice? 

Like with so many questions posted here, the answer is simple: communicate. Just tell him that you noticed he offers other services and that you'd like to try them. Straightforward, honest and uncomplicated.

[soloyo215]

22 hours ago, Frenchjuris said:

I have a massage therapist I’ve seen since 2020. It’s always been therapeutic. Since I started with him, he’s started to offer erotic and he even has an OF. Our massages have remained strictly therapeutic. It feels weird to ask him about transitioning to erotic and I’m concerned about him shutting that down and me feeling weird or even the professional relationship ending over me asking. Advice? 

He might feel the same way, afraid of losing business or creating an unsavory situation by offering erotic massages to a long-term client. I think that the expression of interest should come from you. Maybe after or before a session, simply communicate that you are aware that he's offering a new service and that you might be interested. I can see a difficulty in him letting him know of his expanded services to a steady client and not knowing what reaction to expect.

[Frenchjuris]

On 6/25/2026 at 6:15 PM, BigDMike said:

I would think if he's expanded his services and hasn't made mention of them to offer to you...perhaps he isn't interested?  I mean....if he invites strangers in and offers that service, there are several accounts on here of people expecting to get a sensual massage and it never transpires since the provider isn't into them.  Sad...but true.  Or...he could just think that's not your thing and not aware you want to cross that line since it's something you haven't experienced before and he's not looking to lose a good client over a line that he may not think you want crossed.

I'd go about it like this...I am assuming you've been researching and found his new services versus him telling you about this right up front?  If so, perhaps something like...hey...I was purusing ___ and noticed your profile now leads into ____.  Is that a new thing?  How's that going?  I'd be interested if you're getting into it

Yeah I’ve don’t that, except the part of showing interest. I’m good looking and have seen some of the guys he’s been erotic with and I don’t think he’s into them sexually. I think he’s more thinking it’s not my thing. 

[Frenchjuris]

On 6/25/2026 at 7:29 PM, jonasfoleson said:

Depends. if he's an actual theurapist therapist and trained by a professional body, they often have ethics in place that prohibit it.

If he's just some person who learnt tantra and then decided to offer massages in good faith, then there are fewer restritions in place. But then it canbe complicated. it could blur his offerings, but then again it could work. 

Well as I said, he offers erotic now too. But he is also licensed. 

[Frenchjuris]

On 6/25/2026 at 7:32 PM, viewing ownly said:

He presumes you're liking your current arrangement, plain and simple. Unless you speak up, it will stay the same. Back when I would have regulars, I could sense when they just weren't in the mood, so those sessions kinda sucked in a bad way, but I'm also under the understanding I'm donating for a massage, so if I get more, it's merely a bonus, not an expectation. 

Best advice. Thanks! 

[Frenchjuris]

On 6/26/2026 at 1:06 AM, Jamie21 said:

Book an erotic massage with him. He must advertise those somewhere, so book via that. He definitely won’t transition from therapeutic to erotic mid session for you because firstly it’s not ethical to do so, secondly you’ll have paid (or been quoted)  the lower therapeutic rate, and thirdly he won’t have mentally (and physically) prepared for erotic. 
These things are two separate services. Don’t muddle them up. 

Thanks but he’s only bookable via text. I’m just going to ask him. 

[Frenchjuris]

17 hours ago, JamesB said:

Like with so many questions posted here, the answer is simple: communicate. Just tell him that you noticed he offers other services and that you'd like to try them. Straightforward, honest and uncomplicated.

People are allowed to be nervous and ask for advice. No need to be condescending. 

[MeyerCuriousNYC]

I would simply ask him. There is nothing wrong with that. Ask and you shall receive. 

[+ Jamie21]

1 hour ago, Frenchjuris said:

Thanks but he’s only bookable via text. I’m just going to ask him. 

Good luck. 
Although I expect that he must advertise his sensual massage somewhere (and likely with totally different name/ branding to his therapeutic massage services) otherwise he’d struggle to find clients!

[Frenchjuris]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

Good luck. 
Although I expect that he must advertise his sensual massage somewhere (and likely with totally different name/ branding to his therapeutic massage services) otherwise he’d struggle to find clients!

Yes. He has an ad online. But it’s silly for me to book via that site. And it’s the same ad as before. Just new features and he only books via text. Thanks 

[nomad]

1 hour ago, Frenchjuris said:

Yes. He has an ad online. But it’s silly for me to book via that site. And it’s the same ad as before. Just new features and he only books via text. Thanks 

Definitely just ask him.  You may be over thinking it too much.  It sounds like he would welcome it to keep you as a dedicated client.  Repeat customers is the gold standard for a great business foundation.  

[+ JamesB]

9 hours ago, Frenchjuris said:

People are allowed to be nervous and ask for advice. No need to be condescending. 

That wasn't my intention at all. I was simply suggesting that, in situations like this, clear and honest communication is usually the best approach. If it came across differently, I apologize.