Overseas Trip

[RALLX]

I have hired two providers for overseas trips before and both did kind of ended on a sour note to me, for the same reason. Both providers seem unprepared for the trip and I ended up spending quite a bit to buy what they needed. With the first provider, we went to UAE but he brought mostly jeans, rather thick tops, and forgot to bring a shaver. With the second provider, we went to Paris over Christmas but his shoes were not suitable for winter and his jacket was too thin. He insisted on buying a specific brand of shoes, only to end up being unsuitable for winter still, and needing yet another pair. He also expected me to buy gifts such as perfume, sweatshirt, cap for him.

Is this common and expected, or are they taking advantage of the situation and I am just being plain unlucky?

Edited Friday at 03:17 AM by RALLX

[Nue2thegame]

These are perks that Sugar Babies expect of Sugar Daddies. I am neither but wonder whether something was inadvertently conveyed in your offers that lead to the confusion. In any event, they sound quite entitled. 

[Luv2play]

You don’t state how experienced these two providers were with international travel. Reading the ads on Rentmen, some providers make it clear they have travelled the world. You could expect these gentleman to know how to dress for Paris in the winter and the Middle East such as the Gulf States. 
With travelling, wardrobe is an essential consideration but for people with little experience it can be a challenge. 

[RALLX]

They are both quite well-traveled, although probably not at the level of jetsetters. I have only met them once before the trip so I might have made a huge leap of faith in hiring them for overseas trip. There was no sign of this during our first meeting and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. Since I am relatively new in hiring providers, I am unsure if I have the right expectation (that providers should be well-prepared for the trip without me needing to supply them).

[BSR]

5 hours ago, Luv2play said:

You don’t state how experienced these two providers were with international travel. Reading the ads on Rentmen, some providers make it clear they have travelled the world. You could expect these gentleman to know how to dress for Paris in the winter and the Middle East such as the Gulf States. 
With travelling, wardrobe is an essential consideration but for people with little experience it can be a challenge. 

I question how much common sense these two providers have, regardless of how experienced they are (or aren’t) with international travel.  Even if I had never left the US, I’d like to think I have enough common sense to google “weather Paris winter” or “weather UAE summer” before packing.

[soloyo215]

11 hours ago, RALLX said:

Is this common and expected, or are they taking advantage of the situation and I am just being plain unlucky?

For that question: Like, duh! Yes.

The events seem like the result of a communication problem. As much as some providers want to milk a trip as much as possible, they might not have known exactly what to pack or wear. I wonder, with all the preparation and logistics that such event takes, why weren't attire and expectations about expenses during the trip discussed prior to leaving? That doesn't look like an unreasonable conversation to have in preparation.

Traveling to the UAE does require a little bit of additional information, just like traveling to certain other destinations. Also, in my experience, when certain level of elegance and attire is required/expected, it has become a need to explain to people what they should wear, and even with that, some don't get it.

I am in no position to finance such a trip, nor am I single/free enough to do so, which means that this is just speculation on my part. I'd include attire, expenses, gifts and/or other extras in the discussion before the trip, so there is an understanding of expectations. They are in the business of pleasure, so I imagine that they will do just like travel companies do, continue charging for everything that happens along the tour. That should not be a surprise (IMO).

I hope everything else in the trip went well (meaning, they didn't embarrass or dissed you).

 

Edited Friday at 02:44 PM by soloyo215

[RALLX]

1 hour ago, soloyo215 said:

For that question: Like, duh! Yes.

The events seem like the result of a communication problem. As much as some providers want to milk a trip as much as possible, they might not have known exactly what to pack or wear. I wonder, with all the preparation and logistics that such event takes, why weren't attire and expectations about expenses during the trip discussed prior to leaving? That doesn't look like an unreasonable conversation to have in preparation.

Traveling to the UAE does require a little bit of additional information, just like traveling to certain other destinations. Also, in my experience, when certain level of elegance and attire is required/expected, it has become a need to explain to people what they should wear, and even with that, some don't get it.

I am in no position to finance such a trip, nor am I single/free enough to do so, which means that this is just speculation on my part. I'd include attire, expenses, gifts and/or other extras in the discussion before the trip, so there is an understanding of expectations. They are in the business of pleasure, so I imagine that they will do just like travel companies do, continue charging for everything that happens along the tour. That should not be a surprise (IMO).

I hope everything else in the trip went well (meaning, they didn't embarrass or dissed you).

 

To be fair, everything else was good and well. But I am hesitant to continue my engagement with them because of this. Indeed I should have discussed what expenses I will and will not cover before the trip.

[rentaljock]

It's hard to say if they did this on purpose or if they really did not come prepared or plan accordingly. Either way, they didn't plan accordingly and are now relying on you to help them, which can be an inconvenience to you. I think you may feel taken advantage of here, which is fair. I think a solution here is to set a shopping budget with your guy. That way, if they come unpprepared and need something, they use either their money or the money you set aside for them. If I were you, I would have helped him find the right clothing and shoes he needed; you pick the store, so you control the budget. 

I'm a provider in NYC, and I just did several overnights in another city with a client recently. My experience also ended on a sour note, and honestly, a stressful note. I think I learned that my client and I need clearer guidelines, so that we both feel great - and I honestly think it's all about both parties feeling like they're special, and finding that sweet spot where provider and client are providing equal value to each other. My client had told me he would pay for transport, food/drink, and maybe some shopping. I asked him if he wanted to go shopping with me to get new running shoes. He didn't really answer yes or no; he just told me that DC doesn't have good shopping. I tried a couple of times for him to buy me something small when we were out, and he never volunteered to pick up the bill as he watched me at the register. I spent around $50 in front of him, and he didn't pay for it. I told him that I'd like it if he could pick up purchases like that. He then tells me that those things come later when I'm his boyfriend. We did go to Ralph Lauren and buy something small together, and he spent $125 on me at the store. He's a generous guy, but it's tough for me to express my needs and have him understand without making it a debate about the relationship and nature of the agreement. 

I'm basically asking and expecting shopping in the agreement because I believe I'm not receiving enough value for the amount of time I'm providing for him. The day before the trip, I tried to see if we could agree on paying me an hourly basis, instead of by session. I told him I only charge by time going forward. His response was unresponsive; he just told me not to compare myself to his clients, that I was making it just about money, and how hurtful it is for me to charge just to hang out. It wasn't just a simple, "No, I can't afford a day rate". He vilified me for asking and having that expectation.

I think I've learned that I decided to compromise my value for this guy because he was nice enough at first.  Because I devalued my time for him, I later tried to get him to follow through with our conversations about shopping, but because the shopping wasn't defined in the agreement, we fought over it. After the trip, we had phone calls, and we could not come to an agreement about travel going forward. I had no problem seeing him in NYC and hanging out after the session sometimes, but he wanted more from me and was not willing to pay more. 

This man did not want me to leave and go back to NYC. The time came for me to get a ride to the airport without him, and he offered to pay for an Uber to the airport. We are then having a drink and talking, and he clearly doesn't want me to leave and is sad about it. We waited 10 minutes, maybe more, for the driver to be assigned. I look at his phone, and there's a notification at the top about how a GPS or internet setting has been disabled. I'm starting to think this man is trying to make me late for the airport so I miss my flight. I decide to call my own ride immediately, without him knowing. I get matched with a driver in minutes, and the car gets to the hotel in four minutes. I grab my things, stand up, and say, "ok my ride's here". I could see the shock in his face when he said, "What ride? No, it's not here yet." The ride was never coming. This man was trying to trap me for another night. I make it to the gate with 15 minutes to kill. Funny detail to add: the night before, we realized that he has a better Uber rating than I do. So how does the person with the better Uber rating have to wait 10 plus minutes for a ride, when the less-rated rider waited two minutes? I finally realized the full picture of this guy after that. I've learned not to tolerate clients who don't agree to pay for my time. 

[RALLX]

7 minutes ago, rentaljock said:

It's hard to say if they did this on purpose or if they really did not come prepared or plan accordingly. Either way, they didn't plan accordingly and are now relying on you to help them, which can be an inconvenience to you. I think you may feel taken advantage of here, which is fair. I think a solution here is to set a shopping budget with your guy. That way, if they come unpprepared and need something, they use either their money or the money you set aside for them. If I were you, I would have helped him find the right clothing and shoes he needed; you pick the store, so you control the budget. 

I'm a provider in NYC, and I just did several overnights in another city with a client recently. My experience also ended on a sour note, and honestly, a stressful note. I think I learned that my client and I need clearer guidelines, so that we both feel great - and I honestly think it's all about both parties feeling like they're special, and finding that sweet spot where provider and client are providing equal value to each other. My client had told me he would pay for transport, food/drink, and maybe some shopping. I asked him if he wanted to go shopping with me to get new running shoes. He didn't really answer yes or no; he just told me that DC doesn't have good shopping. I tried a couple of times for him to buy me something small when we were out, and he never volunteered to pick up the bill as he watched me at the register. I spent around $50 in front of him, and he didn't pay for it. I told him that I'd like it if he could pick up purchases like that. He then tells me that those things come later when I'm his boyfriend. We did go to Ralph Lauren and buy something small together, and he spent $125 on me at the store. He's a generous guy, but it's tough for me to express my needs and have him understand without making it a debate about the relationship and nature of the agreement. 

I'm basically asking and expecting shopping in the agreement because I believe I'm not receiving enough value for the amount of time I'm providing for him. The day before the trip, I tried to see if we could agree on paying me an hourly basis, instead of by session. I told him I only charge by time going forward. His response was unresponsive; he just told me not to compare myself to his clients, that I was making it just about money, and how hurtful it is for me to charge just to hang out. It wasn't just a simple, "No, I can't afford a day rate". He vilified me for asking and having that expectation.

I think I've learned that I decided to compromise my value for this guy because he was nice enough at first.  Because I devalued my time for him, I later tried to get him to follow through with our conversations about shopping, but because the shopping wasn't defined in the agreement, we fought over it. After the trip, we had phone calls, and we could not come to an agreement about travel going forward. I had no problem seeing him in NYC and hanging out after the session sometimes, but he wanted more from me and was not willing to pay more. 

This man did not want me to leave and go back to NYC. The time came for me to get a ride to the airport without him, and he offered to pay for an Uber to the airport. We are then having a drink and talking, and he clearly doesn't want me to leave and is sad about it. We waited 10 minutes, maybe more, for the driver to be assigned. I look at his phone, and there's a notification at the top about how a GPS or internet setting has been disabled. I'm starting to think this man is trying to make me late for the airport so I miss my flight. I decide to call my own ride immediately, without him knowing. I get matched with a driver in minutes, and the car gets to the hotel in four minutes. I grab my things, stand up, and say, "ok my ride's here". I could see the shock in his face when he said, "What ride? No, it's not here yet." The ride was never coming. This man was trying to trap me for another night. I make it to the gate with 15 minutes to kill. Funny detail to add: the night before, we realized that he has a better Uber rating than I do. So how does the person with the better Uber rating have to wait 10 plus minutes for a ride, when the less-rated rider waited two minutes? I finally realized the full picture of this guy after that. I've learned not to tolerate clients who don't agree to pay for my time. 

Thanks for giving this perspective as a provider. I am usually very obliging as I do not wish to look miserable. Unfortunately I would have my feeling bottled up and the sore feeling lasted at the end of it. It is also hard for me to talk about expectations beforehand, it made me feel very calculative. But I think that is the best way forward and I have to try doing that.

[SecretProvider]

3 hours ago, rentaljock said:

I've learned that I decided to compromise my value for this guy because he was nice enough at first. 

That's how they trap you, but that is also your mistake. 

Sometimes when big jobs come along it is tempting to move from our normal boundaries.  While this client may be kind and generous in some ways - he at best has issues with the client/provider dynamic, and at worst is trying to get more for nothing. And the deception about the uber in order to leave you stranded in another city, what a frightful and actually scary way to behave. 

When these situations arise and people are negotiating big trips, it can be hard because you want to be flexible enough to land the big gig, but also you have to be able to walkaway afterwards (or during) feeling devalued. We have to be able to say "my daily rate is XYZ", and what happened to you on this trip is why. You need to be able to walk away from a negation. I personally price my long trips quite high because the reality is, being 'ON' 24/7 is draining, emotionally, physically and very taxing. 

19 hours ago, RALLX said:

Is this common and expected, or are they taking advantage of the situation and I am just being plain unlucky?

Having said that - @RALLX If i was making an international trip with a client and forgot to pack my shaver, I would hope my client didn't make such a big deal of it. I have forgotten things like that. But I also wouldn't be so rude as to insist on certain brands and so forth with clothes. Good luck for your next trips and although everything should be discussed first, it is normal that a provider is not out of pocket for the trip. So drinks/food/activities are covered by the client. If the provider wants to buy themselves something while they are away, they can, and if the client wants to buy the provider gifts - they can. Gifts are never to be 'expected'.  Not by anyone with manners anyway.  

[soloyo215]

On 5/1/2026 at 2:53 PM, rentaljock said:

He didn't really answer yes or no; he just told me that DC doesn't have good shopping. 

He then tells me that those things come later when I'm his boyfriend.

...he just told me not to compare myself to his clients, that I was making it just about money, and how hurtful it is for me to charge just to hang out.

This man did not want me to leave and go back to NYC.

I look at his phone, and there's a notification at the top about how a GPS or internet setting has been disabled.

This man was trying to trap me for another night. 

I've learned not to tolerate clients who don't agree to pay for my time. 

Wow! That's red flag after red flag. I'm glad that you managed to leave. What's that "those things come later when I'm his boyfriend" thing about?

I'm glad that you were able to manage to get out of that situation and most importantly, learn from the experience.

[Braziliancutee]

The provider need to be ready always and no u don’t need to buy gifts for him only if you wants. My advice always pick some provider well traveled and well dressed for those trips. 
i do trips with clients for different places and depends of the place u are going u need to be very picky with your provider. Especially Dubai and Paris I have been in both a few times and I can tell they really judge if u are not well dressed.

But of course I don’t know their age If they are younger then me (I am 25). When I had like 19/20 years I didn’t know how to dress very well and how to organize myself for a trip. I just learned better in the last 3 years travelling all over the world. 

Edited yesterday at 12:19 AM by Braziliancutee

[+ ApexNomad]

On 5/1/2026 at 2:53 PM, rentaljock said:

It's hard to say if they did this on purpose or if they really did not come prepared or plan accordingly. Either way, they didn't plan accordingly and are now relying on you to help them, which can be an inconvenience to you. I think you may feel taken advantage of here, which is fair. I think a solution here is to set a shopping budget with your guy. That way, if they come unpprepared and need something, they use either their money or the money you set aside for them. If I were you, I would have helped him find the right clothing and shoes he needed; you pick the store, so you control the budget. 

I'm a provider in NYC, and I just did several overnights in another city with a client recently. My experience also ended on a sour note, and honestly, a stressful note. I think I learned that my client and I need clearer guidelines, so that we both feel great - and I honestly think it's all about both parties feeling like they're special, and finding that sweet spot where provider and client are providing equal value to each other. My client had told me he would pay for transport, food/drink, and maybe some shopping. I asked him if he wanted to go shopping with me to get new running shoes. He didn't really answer yes or no; he just told me that DC doesn't have good shopping. I tried a couple of times for him to buy me something small when we were out, and he never volunteered to pick up the bill as he watched me at the register. I spent around $50 in front of him, and he didn't pay for it. I told him that I'd like it if he could pick up purchases like that. He then tells me that those things come later when I'm his boyfriend. We did go to Ralph Lauren and buy something small together, and he spent $125 on me at the store. He's a generous guy, but it's tough for me to express my needs and have him understand without making it a debate about the relationship and nature of the agreement. 

I'm basically asking and expecting shopping in the agreement because I believe I'm not receiving enough value for the amount of time I'm providing for him. The day before the trip, I tried to see if we could agree on paying me an hourly basis, instead of by session. I told him I only charge by time going forward. His response was unresponsive; he just told me not to compare myself to his clients, that I was making it just about money, and how hurtful it is for me to charge just to hang out. It wasn't just a simple, "No, I can't afford a day rate". He vilified me for asking and having that expectation.

I think I've learned that I decided to compromise my value for this guy because he was nice enough at first.  Because I devalued my time for him, I later tried to get him to follow through with our conversations about shopping, but because the shopping wasn't defined in the agreement, we fought over it. After the trip, we had phone calls, and we could not come to an agreement about travel going forward. I had no problem seeing him in NYC and hanging out after the session sometimes, but he wanted more from me and was not willing to pay more. 

This man did not want me to leave and go back to NYC. The time came for me to get a ride to the airport without him, and he offered to pay for an Uber to the airport. We are then having a drink and talking, and he clearly doesn't want me to leave and is sad about it. We waited 10 minutes, maybe more, for the driver to be assigned. I look at his phone, and there's a notification at the top about how a GPS or internet setting has been disabled. I'm starting to think this man is trying to make me late for the airport so I miss my flight. I decide to call my own ride immediately, without him knowing. I get matched with a driver in minutes, and the car gets to the hotel in four minutes. I grab my things, stand up, and say, "ok my ride's here". I could see the shock in his face when he said, "What ride? No, it's not here yet." The ride was never coming. This man was trying to trap me for another night. I make it to the gate with 15 minutes to kill. Funny detail to add: the night before, we realized that he has a better Uber rating than I do. So how does the person with the better Uber rating have to wait 10 plus minutes for a ride, when the less-rated rider waited two minutes? I finally realized the full picture of this guy after that. I've learned not to tolerate clients who don't agree to pay for my time. 

Honestly, I think you’re right about the big picture. You  compromised your value early and then tried to correct it later, and that’s always going to create friction.

But I also think there were a couple moments where you set yourself up for that outcome. The shopping piece is one of them. If it’s not clearly defined upfront-budget, expectations, what “shopping” actually means, then trying to get him to pick up a $50 purchase in real time puts both of you in an awkward spot. From your perspective, it’s part of the experience. From his, it probably felt like a test he didn’t agree to.

Same with switching to hourly right before the trip. Not wrong to want, but timing matters. That’s a pre-booking conversation, not something you renegotiate once things are already in motion.

Where I completely agree with you is once someone starts reframing clear financial boundaries as “hurtful” or tries to turn it into a relationship conversation, it’s usually because clarity doesn’t benefit them. That’s the point where you either lock things down or walk.

And the airport situation? Even if there’s a slim chance it was just a glitch, you handled it exactly right. The second something feels off about your ability to leave, you remove yourself from the situation. No debate.

I think the clean takeaway is define everything upfront: time, money, extras, everything! so there’s no room for interpretation. Because once you’re negotiating in real time, you’ve already lost control of the structure.