Question To Providers & Clients About Companionship

[+ purplekow]

6 hours ago, Pensant said:

In my lengthy experience, the occasional dinner or after-session drinks were, at the provider’s suggestion, off the clock. I must be a charming companion! Nonetheless, it’s entirely up to the provider. I also am unlikely to consider going to dinner with anyone with whom I’ve not developed a mutual non-physical attraction.

So, no apps, no blind dates, no fix ups, no first time business meetings?   Seems as though some opportunities may be lost and I think  it is true that you need to kiss a lot of frogs to find a Prince.  I am interested if he just says "ribbit", we can try lunch or coffee.   

Edited Monday at 09:09 PM by purplekow

[Elite_XL]

It has been quite helpful to understand different perspectives on how people might view companionship. It definitely differs based on experience, personal needs, background, culture, and economic situation. 

Important to clarify, just because the companionship is transactional, it does not mean that the provider doesn’t want to be there. It is still a job that requires emotional presence, sustained attention, and social performance.

You don’t tell an employee that they are only at your company because of the money. If you do actually think that, you need to reevaluate some things.

Key points drawn from this. Providers side:

- Providers reject the idea that companionship should be free.

- Any unpaid time is a personal choice, not an obligation or industry norm.

- Protecting boundaries is a business necessity and an emotional safeguard.

From the Clients Side:

- Most clients accept and respect paying for that time.

- Emotional discomfort arises not from the cost itself, but from what the cost symbolises.

- Clients value off-the-clock moments.

The dominant conclusion seems to be:

Time is paid unless explicitly stated otherwise. Off-the-clock time is a gift, not a right. Clarity and communication preserves dignity on both sides.

It is a sensitive topic as it sits at the intersection of money, desire, ego, fantasy, and emotional labor. Neither side wants to feel used, misunderstood, or devalued.

[savantsav]

I'm on the fence on the off-the-clock moments in the sense of I wouldn't expect that from someone I've seen a handful of times. However I usually offer something like a meal or drinks/coffee before/after when booking more than 3hrs with someone I've seen 5+ times and if they never accept I totally understand but would book them less. 

Edited yesterday at 04:24 AM by savantsav

[viewing ownly]

This topic is neither sensitive nor controversial. I'll just touch upon a couple of opinions the OP had that even as a client, not a provider, I take issue with.

First is the opinion that non-sexual activity should be nearly free. Seeing someone mutually on a dating app, sure. NOT SO with sexual hook-up sites, even if they advertise "cuddling" or "a night at the theater". You donate for their time, and what you do or don't do sexually is (mostly) entirely on you.

Last, you mentioned in a follow-up something to the degree that emotions can be different. Um, no. They're just excellent and skilled at what they do with you and everyone else they see. They're experienced pros at making you feel special, so you aren't alone in your after-glow with a great provider. Depending on how busy they are, they likely forgot about you quickly, which isn't insulting to you - just see them again - and again, but don't expect them to "off the clock" see you, ever. 

[Braziliancutee]

I have been in situations where a few guys they paid just to have a dinner with me or after the appointment (sex) they invited me for dinner.

And if I enjoyed the client and I liked him and I don’t have other plans for later. I accept the invite for dinner for free. Bc especially if he already paid the price that u asked. Is just a dinner u know. Not a big thing and u kind of can show to them that the meetings are not so transactional and they can stay more “ comfortable”.

i had a client 2 days ago he hired me for 2h and then he invited me for dinner after and I didn’t charge him for that we had a great conversation, nice restaurant.

results: he asked me to travel with him…

sometimes even being transactional u don’t need to do all based on money. All we are humans. 

and sometimes they will gave more value to you if u don’t stay so focus on money.

Edited yesterday at 03:58 PM by Braziliancutee

[Mark_fl]

3 hours ago, savantsav said:

However I usually offer something like a meal or drinks/coffee before/after when booking more than 3hrs with someone I've seen 5+ times and if they never accept I totally understand but would book them less. 

I think this is a point that hasn't been broached here yet. I've had many business lunches and dinners I didn't really want to go to, but went because it builds relationships. If one is serious about building a business,  you should be ok doing some of this. There are worse things than having someone buy you dinner without charging an hourly rate.

[mike carey]

3 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I think this is a point that hasn't been broached here yet. I've had many business lunches and dinners I didn't really want to go to, but went because it builds relationships. If one is serious about building a business,  you should be ok doing some of this. There are worse things than having someone buy you dinner without charging an hourly rate.

That's a valid point, and fair as far as it goes. The key point I see in it is that you attended the meals because it built relationships. You made a decision (or your boss did) that going was good for the business. Each business is going to decide which things are needed for relationship building and which are not. I suspect that for some big businesses, law and accounting firms perhaps, attendance is logged as billable hours.

[DenverDad]

5 hours ago, savantsav said:

I'm on the fence on the off-the-clock moments in the sense of I wouldn't expect that from someone I've seen a handful of times. However I usually offer something like a meal or drinks/coffee before/after when booking more than 3hrs with someone I've seen 5+ times and if they never accept I totally understand but would book them less. 

I don't understand why you would book someone less if they don't have a meal with you.  Would you book an accountant or lawyer less if they didn't have a meal with you?  Seems like you are trying to force a friendship (or more) on a provider and if they don't agree (or can't agree), you are being petty and, to be honest, manipulative by punishing them by withholding your business.  

Edited yesterday at 09:26 AM by DenverDad

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 1/4/2026 at 9:16 PM, Keenan said:

As a provider I'm being paid for my time whether it's going to get dinner with the client or spend time in the bedroom.  As a result I would charge my regular rate either way.  If it's a regular customer and depending on how frequently there might be times when I give a discount here and there but in general I charge for my time and whatever happens during that time.

I would offer this counter point - your time is most valuable when it it fully booked.

if you’re fully booked to the capacity you want to make available, then the math validates what you’ve said…you’re at maximum capacity and you should even consider raising your prices   

but, if your time is not fully booked, then the question is a) do you want to make $x/hr or b) do you want to make more money?     If you have available time, you make MORE money by discounting unbooked time and making something rather than nothing.   It doesn’t cheapen the value of your time, it maximizes your income as long as it doesn’t take you away from something else.

Social time is not exhausting like physical activities and can be fun too.   I have one provider who charges social time at half the normal rate and it works great for both of us. 

[savantsav]

8 hours ago, DenverDad said:

I don't understand why you would book someone less if they don't have a meal with you.  Would you book an accountant or lawyer less if they didn't have a meal with you?  Seems like you are trying to force a friendship (or more) on a provider and if they don't agree (or can't agree), you are being petty and, to be honest, manipulative by punishing them by withholding your business.  

Well, this is also a business based on trust. If you want to become a regular and get repeated bookings (especially multi hour bookings like overnights) then I need to be able to have some rapport with you that comes with building trust, yes, even outside the bedroom. 

Oh and those accountants and lawyers and what not you mention? They still go out and play golf with their best clients, and those who refuse and never go golfing get less and less business. Is not "forcing" a friendship, is building trust and network. So save your “petty” and “manipulative” comments to yourself. 

Edited yesterday at 04:58 PM by savantsav

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

8 hours ago, DenverDad said:

Would you book an accountant or lawyer less if they didn't have a meal with you? 

Yes. 

But this is like comparing apples to oranges, because I have sex with my accountant for free 🥳 

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Yes. 

But this is like comparing apples to oranges, because I have sex with my accountant for free 🥳 

Funny, my first wife was a CPA in tax...and she never did the taxes.   She said she'd charge her normal hourly rate and I said she wasn't worth it.    The marriage still lasted another 20 yrs - presumably because I'm Italian.

 

Edited yesterday at 05:36 PM by PhileasFogg

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

11 minutes ago, PhileasFogg said:

She said she'd charge her normal hourly rate and I said she wasn't worth it.

😆 

[BigK]

On 1/5/2026 at 11:15 PM, Braziliancutee said:

I have been in situations where a few guys they paid just to have a dinner with me or after the appointment (sex) they invited me for dinner.

And if I enjoyed the client and I liked him and I don’t have other plans for later. I accept the invite for dinner for free. Bc especially if he already paid the price that u asked. Is just a dinner u know. Not a big thing and u kind of can show to them that the meetings are not so transactional and they can stay more “ comfortable”.

i had a client 2 days ago he hired me for 2h and then he invited me for dinner after and I didn’t charge him for that we had a great conversation, nice restaurant.

results: he asked me to travel with him…

sometimes even being transactional u don’t need to do all based on money. All we are humans. 

and sometimes they will gave more value to you if u don’t stay so focus on money.

That’s a great result, being hired to travel with somebody.  It was also very savvy Marketing to agree to a dinner after an agreed-upon session for no further compensation..

The point that I’m trying to make to providers is that some savvy Marketing on their part can lead to increased additional business, and it hopefully provides the benefit of making you feel like a decent human being too.

[Braziliancutee]

3 minutes ago, BigK said:

That’s a great result, being hired to travel with somebody.  It was also very savvy Marketing to agree to a dinner after an agreed-upon session for no further compensation..

The point that I’m trying to make to providers is that some savvy Marketing on their part can lead to increased additional business, and it hopefully provides the benefit of making you feel like a decent human being too.

Exactly!! U never can’t stay so focos on earn and money…. Has more things involved then that