What do you do if your bottoming prep plan doesn’t workout…

[JungleForest]

…and you hired a provider? 
 

I don’t want to bail but at the same time I wanted to get rearranged. I’m just worried about the provider being annoyed, idk how to proceed. Would love some friendly advice, as I’m new to not only gay sex but hiring providers, please keep that in mind when responding.

[+ Jamie21]

Go ahead with it and tell him your preparation hasn’t been fully successful. Most guys won’t mind and will have all sorts of other things you can do together that are fun if you really don’t feel comfortable to bottom. Decent providers will understand and may be ok to proceed with caution so that you can bottom anyway. Or at least you could ask him to go in and stay in until he (or you) finishes. That’s usually ok. I find it’s more difficult to keep changing positions and stop and start when the issues with mess can be a problem. If you stay in to the end it’s fine. 

I’ve seen clients who tell me they might not be ready and I say to them ‘I’m ok to try if you want to’. Let’s be clear; anyone who’s experienced at gay sex will have come across accidents sometimes. It’s an occupational hazard. I just clean up and carry on usually if he wants to, otherwise we do other stuff. No big deal.  No one should make you feel bad if you’re not totally clean. 

 

[DMonDude]

I've had this issue twice before. The first time it happened, i basically did what Jamie21 said, still went through with it and we just maintained the position till the end. There was some slight mess, but the provider didn't show any obvious signs of being bothered. He cleaned up after we came and didn't make any big deal about it. But i was still pretty embarrassed, and as the over thinker that i am, i presume that provider was grossed out/annoyed and just had a great poker face. Even though logically i also know most tops know and are accustomed to the risk of a little bit of mess, as it is indeed just part of the territory of anal play sometimes. This provider and his partner actually never logged back into their RentMasseur accounts after the following day and eventually the account was deleted too, which didn't make me feel better (but almost certainly wasn't in regards to me) 😆.

Second time my bottom prep didn't work out, i was too nervous/embarrassed from the prior time to do what Jamie21 said. So I contacted the provider and just told him i was having stomach issues (which i was) and that i needed to cancel. I sent him a cancellation fee (out of my own sense of courtesy i always send a cancellation fee if i have to cancel on a provider last minute) and then i eventually rescheduled with him for another time.

[jeezifonly]

For any man new to MM sex and penetration, I recommend time on your own to get to know your body. Pay attention to your natural elimination routine and whether it's mostly complete at the time or not. Always use a fiber supplement to maximize your effort. Clean out for just yourself, and use insertable toys to confirm complete expulsion of the water. A little repetition and better knowing your digestive system's natural operation will build your confidence to doing minimal douching before play. 

If your system is just not going to allow penetration on a play date, you'll find other ways to have fun. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Since you're new to bottoming, you might be overdoing your prep. If you're on a high-fiber diet, take extra fiber (capsules or Metamucil), and douching should be minimal. This guy's videos are great: https://www.youtube.com/@BottomsDigest

Admittedly, I have a ton of experience. 😈 but since I came of age when everyone used condoms, prepping wasn't as much of a concern. So I've learned a lot in the past few years. And I've cut my prep to a minimum with no issues - like not even an odor. 

 

[JungleForest]

On 1/3/2026 at 1:12 PM, Jamie21 said:

Go ahead with it and tell him your preparation hasn’t been fully successful. Most guys won’t mind and will have all sorts of other things you can do together that are fun if you really don’t feel comfortable to bottom. Decent providers will understand and may be ok to proceed with caution so that you can bottom anyway. Or at least you could ask him to go in and stay in until he (or you) finishes. That’s usually ok. I find it’s more difficult to keep changing positions and stop and start when the issues with mess can be a problem. If you stay in to the end it’s fine. 

I’ve seen clients who tell me they might not be ready and I say to them ‘I’m ok to try if you want to’. Let’s be clear; anyone who’s experienced at gay sex will have come across accidents sometimes. It’s an occupational hazard. I just clean up and carry on usually if he wants to, otherwise we do other stuff. No big deal.  No one should make you feel bad if you’re not totally clean. 

 

I appreciate having a provider’s perspective, as well as everyone else’s perspective here. I decided to be upfront and just outright say it and he basically asked me to raincheck our meeting. It was a bummer for sure.

I ended up scheduling time with someone else though and that ended up being great.

[pubic_assistance]

Familiarize yourself with the joys of frottage....

[DenverDad]

On 1/3/2026 at 5:51 PM, KensingtonHomo said:

Since you're new to bottoming, you might be overdoing your prep. If you're on a high-fiber diet, take extra fiber (capsules or Metamucil), and douching should be minimal. This guy's videos are great: https://www.youtube.com/@BottomsDigest

Admittedly, I have a ton of experience. 😈 but since I came of age when everyone used condoms, prepping wasn't as much of a concern. So I've learned a lot in the past few years. And I've cut my prep to a minimum with no issues - like not even an odor. 

 

Love BottomsDigest videos/Insta