Providers requiring Client photo to meet!?

[+ KensingtonHomo]

17 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

You comment doesnt make any sense.

I just said my neighbor was a nice fellow and I enjoyed his company.

How is that "hatred" ? 

You are projecting.

If we go through your history of posting, your disdain for overweight men is the one constant.  

[pubic_assistance]

22 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

If we go through your history of posting, your disdain for overweight men is the one constant.  

You are mixing up sexual preferences with "disdain". 

Again...projecting you own emotional insecurities.

My first girlfriend is now quite chubby  but I still adore her. 

Sexually I prefer FIT men or women. So obviously someone whos very overweight is the exact opposite of "fitness". 

[d.anders]

 

[marylander1940]

12 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Girl, your hatred of people who are overweight is just next level. I believe you live in the Village where you would see overweight gay men in long-term relationships every day. As you've often noted, you're not part of the community, so let's assume my experience (and the data shared above) is more accurate than that of a single, isolated neighbor. 

I go to NYC every year and the only obese people I've seen there are clearly tourists. 

Folks in NYC walk and take the subway, it's all about lifestyle and the choices we make 

[d.anders]

2 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Folks in NYC walk and take the subway, it's all about lifestyle and the choices we make 

There are plenty of large men in NYC. Loads of x-large gay men. A simple visit to the Pride parade, or any local gay event, and you will see hundreds if not thousands.

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, d.anders said:

There are plenty of large men in NYC. Loads of x-large gay men. A simple visit to the Pride parade, or any local gay event, and you will see hundreds if not thousands

The NYC Pride Parade attracts people from the entire Country and some foreigners. It most definitely does NOT represent who lives here.

The point made by @marylander1940 is accurate. New Yorkers walk everywhere....we also exercise more and eat better than Middle America. I rarely see anyone who's grossly overweight who lives here. I live in Greenwich Village which has several gay bars and I don't see a lot of big oversized men going in and out of those bars. So this hypothesis that the village is just full of these happy overweight gay couples is just pure fantasy on the part of @KensingtonHomo.  

Anyway ...ALL of this is a distraction from the subject at hand. Which is PROVIDERS REQUIRING A PHOTO.

@marylander1940 was kind enough to take the time and create a poll on an associated conversation thread. Let's all click on it and see how deep the split is on the subject.

I have no problem sending a photo. But then I'm not at the point in my life where I am so grotesque that no one will fuck me. Hopefully I never get to that point. 

Escorts deserve our deepest respect for taking on people who otherwise would never have sex. 

 

 

 

[d.anders]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

I rarely see anyone who's grossly overweight who lives here.

Dude, you must be blind, or don't get out much, or wear blinders when large men appear. I have my share of overweight friends, most are married, as @KensingtonHomo described. I don't know if they still exist post-Covid, but there used to be chubby/daddy parties, packed with large gay men who live here.

While the Pride parade does attract visitors, there are plenty of locals who participate year after year. To some guys, it's like the Halloween parade, not to be missed. 

This notion of only slender, healthy gay guys living in NYC is pure fantasy. 

[Oakman]

It turns out money doesn’t buy everything.  The assertion that people don’t belong in the industry if they have aesthetic proclivities is just absurd.
 

I have often wondered why self-proclaimed “unfuckable” sad-sacks don’t seek out similar men. Why place a premium on youth, fitness, and conventional beauty if those are the primary areas where you face the harshest rejection? Fat men idolizing fit men is just insane. 

[Gilfson]

11 minutes ago, Oakman said:

 Fat men idolizing fit men is just insane. 

I don’t find it insane at all. Being fit is the standard of beauty for a reason. Don’t get me wrong some people find bigger people attractive. But the majority of the population would agree that being fit or average is more attract than being morbidly obese l. And a lot of people who are fat aren’t happy with their bodies. It makes total sense that’s they would find people who are more fit hot. 

[+ purplekow]

21 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Lucky you, and your overweight friends.

I dont have the same experience.

My gay, overweight neighbor died sad and alone always complaining he couldn't meet anyone who loved him because of his looks. Nice fellow / was a fairly well known comedian on several TV shows. I always enjoyed his company. But his appearance prevented him from having a satisfying sex life / love life.

Why would you assume it was that and not something else? Why would he?  Perhaps because it is easy to go for the superficial explanation rather than looking deeper and what may be the issue.  Was he clingy?  Was he jealous?  Was he bad in bed?  Was he selfish? greedy? a hoarder? boring? self absorbed? Unimaginative?  Introverted? Psychotic? Depressed?  There are many reasons people die old and alone.  Fat people most usually do so not because of their weight but because of some or many of those other reasons.  I am not naive to the fact that being fat can indeed worsen some of those other problems but clearly not all fat people are dying old and alone and some that are are doing so out of choice, just as some average sized and thin people are.  

[Oakman]

12 minutes ago, Gilfson said:

Being fit is the standard of beauty for a reason. 

I really don’t see the point of responding to a profound existential question by stating the obvious (unless one is just trying to slip a promotion for one’s ad in every single thread in this entire website) The standard of beauty is whatever each individual accepts for themselves, unless they’re unwilling to think for themselves, and accept only what they see promoted in culture. 
 

 

[Gilfson]

Just now, Oakman said:

I really don’t see the point of responding to a profound existential question by stating the obvious (unless one is just trying to slip a promotion for one’s ad in every single thread in this entire website). 
 

 

Because this is a forum about conversation and i felt like responding to your comment? What a nasty response when I just responded to you saying you don’t understand why fat people idolize fit people. Not sure what this accusation is but it’s completely unfounded and is yet another reason why you guys have ran off most of the escorting crowd from this forum. Yikes dude.

[Oakman]

1 minute ago, Gilfson said:

Because this is a forum about conversation and i felt like responding to your comment? What a nasty response when I just responded to you saying you don’t understand why fat people idolize fit people. Not sure what this accusation is but it’s completely unfounded and is yet another reason why you guys have ran off most of the escorting crowd from this forum. Yikes dude.

Seriously, how many times do you think we need to see your face in every single thread? Literally no one else plasters a full-width photo ad in every single comment. 

[Gilfson]

2 hours ago, Oakman said:

Seriously, how many times do you think we need to see your face in every single thread? Literally no one else plasters a full-width photo ad in every single comment. 

Damn babe who hurt you? And it’s literally my signature if you think im  copy and pasting my add every single comment I’m sorry you think that. 
Sounds like you’re having a rough night. Hope it gets better😊

 

2 hours ago, Oakman said:

L, unless they’re unwilling to think for themselves, and accept only what they see promoted in culture. 
 

 

Says this and then immediately tells me to do what everyone else is doing😘

Edited July 10 by Gilfson

[+ KensingtonHomo]

34 minutes ago, Gilfson said:

Being fit is the standard of beauty for a reason. Don’t get me wrong some people find bigger people attractive. But the majority of the population would agree that being fit or average is more attract than being morbidly obese

Being fit - even as fit as you are - which is kind of generic 26 year old; is a historically recent phenomenon. Certainly the beauty expectations put on gay men are not even 30 years old. The insistence on extremely muscular and little to no body fat began in the 90s in response to AIDS. Before that, gay men probably leaned thinner than the average heterosexual. 

Throughout history and cultures beauty standards change. The assumption that we’re responding to something natural and inherent rather than our cultural programming is naive. 

[Gilfson]

Just now, KensingtonHomo said:

Being fit - even as fit as you are - which is kind of generic 26 year old; is a historically recent phenomenon. Certainly the beauty expectations put on gay men are not even 30 years old. The insistence on extremely muscular and little to no body fat began in the 90s in response to AIDS. Before that, gay men probably leaned thinner than the average heterosexual. 

Throughout history and cultures beauty standards change. The assumption that we’re responding to something natural and inherent rather than our cultural programming is naive. 

I agree that beauty standards change. And don’t disagree that a large majority of it is cultural. Never made the claim it wasn’t.

[Gilfson]

22 minutes ago, Oakman said:

Seriously, how many times do you think we need to see your face in every single thread? Literally no one else plasters a full-width photo ad in every single comment. 

There you go. Pic is gone. Am I now allowed to enjoy this site now that I meet your standards? Oh gosh I sure hope so😩

[jackcali]

9 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Throughout history and cultures beauty standards change. The assumption that we’re responding to something natural and inherent rather than our cultural programming is naive. 

I think it's naive to ignore the effect of evolution in our development of what we find attractive.  Even week-old babies react differently to attractive vs unattractive faces - of CATS as well as of humans - and culture can't have had an effect that early.  There are some inbred responses to something we viscerally deem "attractive" that, the evolutionary biologists will tell us, relates to finding the best possible partner for mating.  Symmetry and fitness (though maybe not to the degree it's measured these days) are sought after qualities.  

But we are definitely more than what's coded in our genetic material.  Cultural influences do have an influence.  Also, the desire to mate involves compromise (one wants the best available mate, not the ideal mate).  That's why we see (or at least I see) plenty of gay and straight married or paired overweight couples, in-shape couples and couples with one of each.  Some of them are happy and some of them aren't, but I don't see weight being the determining factor in that.

Edited July 10 by jackcali
clarity

[pubic_assistance]

14 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Certainly the beauty expectations put on gay men are not even 30 years old. The insistence on extremely muscular and little to no body fat began in the 90s in response to AIDS. Before that, gay men probably leaned thinner than the average heterosexual. 

Maybe gays were thinner before AIDS but gay PORN still idolized fit/masculine men.  Every bit of "old" gay porn (pre AIDS) was focused on fit looking men (sometimes banging a twink). Maybe the focus was not AS muscular as today's fitness obsessed culture . ..but I have never seen any porn from the 70s or 80s featuring overweight men getting-it-on. THAT was and still is a subculture fetish, not a norm.

[pubic_assistance]

15 hours ago, purplekow said:

Why would you assume it was that and not something else?

I didn't.

He did.

Maybe youre right...and maybe he was ALL those other things. But he always said this: "Everybody loves to hang with the jolly fat guy, but nobody wants to fuck him". 

He said he was often the life of the party (he was a professional comedian . .you would likely recognize him) but he always went home alone. 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

2 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Maybe gays were thinner before AIDS but gay PORN still idolized fit/masculine men.  Every bit of "old" gay porn (pre AIDS) was focused on fit looking men (sometimes banging a twink). Maybe the focus was not AS muscular as today's fitness obsessed culture . ..but I have never seen any porn from the 70s or 80s featuring overweight men getting-it-on. THAT was and still is a subculture fetish, not a norm.

Not only were gay men thinner in the 70s and 80s, the entire country was thinner. Between 1976 and 1980, only 14 percent of Americans were obese. That number was 45 percent by 2018 and is now closer to 50%. Gay men cannot magically avoid a national trend, which is also unique to the US. That change has not been caused by everyone suddenly losing their willpower to diet. Rather, it is the result of agricultural policy (subsidizing corn, the explosion of processed food and sugar-filled drinks) and shifts in work from industrial to service-oriented labor. Further, most Americans, including children, take less exercise and have less free time than we did 40 years ago. 

As I stated earlier, on average, the percentage of obese gay men is lower, but it's still significant (30-35%), closer to that of heterosexual women, while lesbians and heterosexual men tend to be more obese. So the gap between what the average gay man looks like and the pornified ideal is much wider than it used to be. As with any enormous demographic shift, culture is following it and "bears" and chubby guys appear in much more porn then they used to - and they are more accepted as part of the diverse community that includes muscle guys, jocks, nerds, twinks, daddies, etc. 

The pressure to look like that ideal has led to a considerable increase in eating disorders among gay men (15% of us versus 3% of straight men). And that's before we get into surgical interventions. 

I personally have a pretty wide palette (from athletic to runner's build to dadbod to chubby guys) but I generally do not find extremely muscular, 3 percent body fat men attractive; nor do I find morbidly obese men attractive. But understanding the facts of obesity in our country, I do believe everyone deserves respect and kindness regardless of their weight. And that would include not constantly going on about how unattractive they are, nor claiming that an attribute that impacts 30% of a population is a fetish. 

 

[+ ThroatCummer]

On 7/8/2025 at 3:32 AM, Jamie21 said:

It’s not always easy to identify the guys who are proper (those who see anyone) from the dilettantes but one sure way of doing so is to receive a picture request. You could even reply with ‘ah sorry I didn’t realise you weren’t a proper escort’.

This line is amazing!  Thank you. 🙏

To add to the conversation, I just keep a Rent Men client profile with about 5-6 pictures and text descriptions that contain my stats, my preferences, and what really turns me on.  Because of this I have never had a provider ask for a picture and don't know if they only follow through because they like what they see.

I find the Rent Men client profile also helps with the intro.  I can basically send a message:  "I'm [first name] and think you're incredibly handsome/sexy/hot and would love to spend some time with you. What's your availability for [day/time]?  Are you up to [insert whatever action/role here] for XYZ hours and what is your rate? I try not to be one of those time wasters, so I have a Rent Men client profile you can view by clicking on my name so you know I am legit. Thank you!" 

Pretty much works every time. I don't think I have never NOT got a response from anyone, even if they say they aren't available or whatnot. 

Edited July 10 by ThroatCummer

[Archangel]

On 7/9/2025 at 11:32 AM, marylander1940 said:

Folks in NYC walk and take the subway, it's all about lifestyle and the choices we make 

You are wrong. How do I know? The huge success of GLP-1 drugs for weight loss. Just a non-personal, non-self-referential example.

Clinicians have been trying to move away from the moralistic judgmentalism remarks like yours necessitate.

Obesity isn’t “all about” lifestyle and choices.

The definition from the Obesity Medicine Association (and endorsed by ABOM-certified clinicians) is used to emphasize that obesity is more than “lifestyle and choices.” It states: “a chronic, relapsing, multi‑factorial, neurobehavioral disease, wherein an increase in body fat promotes adipose tissue dysfunction and abnormal fat‑mass physical forces, resulting in adverse metabolic, biomechanical, and psychosocial health consequences.”

This definition shifts the focus beyond simple calorie balance—recognizing biological, genetic, neurobehavioral, and environmental contributors. It’s widely used by clinician educators and obesity medicine experts to teach that obesity is not merely a result of personal decisions but a chronic disease requiring comprehensive care and treatment—not just “eat less, move more.”

I am thoroughly sick and tired of the sizism that goes on here unaddressed as discriminatory prejudice. And I’m disgusted by the guys here who continue to engage in it and push it. You should be ashamed of yourself for your judgementalism.

I have nothing more about obesity to say now at this time.

[+ ApexNomad]

3 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I do believe everyone deserves respect and kindness regardless of their weight. And that would include not constantly going on about how unattractive they are…

 

THIS! Full stop. This shouldn’t be a radical concept. That’s just being a decent human. It costs zero dollars to treat people with dignity.

[marylander1940]

4 hours ago, Archangel said:

You are wrong. How do I know? The huge success of GLP-1 drugs for weight loss. Just a non-personal, non-self-referential example.

Clinicians have been trying to move away from the moralistic judgmentalism remarks like yours necessitate.

Obesity isn’t “all about” lifestyle and choices.

The definition from the Obesity Medicine Association (and endorsed by ABOM-certified clinicians) is used to emphasize that obesity is more than “lifestyle and choices.” It states: “a chronic, relapsing, multi‑factorial, neurobehavioral disease, wherein an increase in body fat promotes adipose tissue dysfunction and abnormal fat‑mass physical forces, resulting in adverse metabolic, biomechanical, and psychosocial health consequences.”

This definition shifts the focus beyond simple calorie balance—recognizing biological, genetic, neurobehavioral, and environmental contributors. It’s widely used by clinician educators and obesity medicine experts to teach that obesity is not merely a result of personal decisions but a chronic disease requiring comprehensive care and treatment—not just “eat less, move more.”

I am thoroughly sick and tired of the sizism that goes on here unaddressed as discriminatory prejudice. And I’m disgusted by the guys here who continue to engage in it and push it. You should be ashamed of yourself for your judgementalism.

I have nothing more about obesity to say now at this time.

 biological imbalance? What about acknowledging lifestyle also matters and assuming responsibility.

Just one pill / injection can't solve most health issues

"Eat less, move more" that's the right thing to do, isn't it? 

 

Edited July 10 by marylander1940