Providers requiring Client photo to meet!?

[sky]

9 hours ago, josh282282 said:

Could you elaborate on how/when escorts achieved this societal "right" to get pictures of potential clients? 

 

Agreed here, does an accountant, waiter/waitress or barber get to see a picture of their potential clients or pick and choose who they see?  They are getting paid so they work with their clientele.  Money changes the dynamic.  In personal life an escort can pick and choose who they want to see if they aren't getting paid but money changes the dynamic.  If they want to make money they should be non-judgemental and see whoever wants to hire them.  If they can't handle that then they should find something different.

[josh282282]

14 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Well...according to some of the gentlemen here...its a new ask...but the providers have always had a right to run their business as they see fit. 

No, no, you did not originally write "ask". You specifically used the word "right".

 

On 7/3/2025 at 1:01 PM, pubic_assistance said:

Its not Grindr, but they do have a right to see who they are meeting. 

Any businessman, of any field, can of course ask for anything, even $10,000,000,000,000  to engage in business dealings. I'm skeptical that the logical & sane men on this board would disagree with that. Yet, few would pay that.

But you are coming across as it's their right.   There are no rights in this detail of minutiae of hiring regarding asking for pics prior. But it is bad business practice. You may have tweaked your sentence in follow up (thank you for responding,  kind sir!) but your revealed your true thoughts on this.  

To All Readers:  don't add toxicity to hiring. There is enough toxicity already.

Campsite Rule: leave the site better than you found it.   Say NO to pic requests.   

Edited July 5 by josh282282
Correction of grammer

[Archangel]

3 hours ago, d.anders said:

some guys only want model types sucking their cock. They think it's the only way to get and keep their cock hard. I get the fantasy

My philosophy on hiring is first and foremost it’s about my fantasy, not the provider’s. Does that mean I don’t want him to enjoy himself and feel fulfilled? By no means. But I’m not paying for him to be pleased; I’m paying for him to please me.

At the end of the day, it is about what the service is agreed upon. If at the outset you and the escort agree on X for a certain amount of payment, that’s the arrangement. It’s like a contractor building for you. The contractor has a chance to no agree but once the agreement is made to remodel your kitchen – and let’s say he says like many a escort, “Anything you want” – unless it’s illegal, he better deliver. I’m reasonable enough not to expect an escort to feel unsafe or violated, but deciding that he doesn’t do something you want after saying “Anything you want” because he doesn’t like it is just not how it works.

What happened to “The customer is always right?” I just don’t understand why someone who’s looking to provide a service would have expectations about beauty and sexual standards for clients. I still insist that sounds like a guy looking to get paid for the privilege of pleasing him.

Likely I’m not articulating my nuanced difference in feeling well.

[+ purplekow]

9 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Well...for the purpose of this conversation: Its the person who youre asking to have sex with you !

Everyone can take ONE good photo. One of my childhood girlfriends is now very fat. I still love her and am overjoyed when I see here. I don't think I could fuck her..but I still think she's sweet.She has some nice face.pix that she uses for her job. (LinkedIN) etc

It is not a matter of whether I look good in a single photo, it is the expectation that when i describe myself as over 60 fat and bald, that should be enough information for them to make a decision to allow themselves to be hired if that decision is based on appearance.  I am more than happy to text or speak on the phone if they want a sense of who I am but I am not sending a photo just to satisfy their request to see my appearance. They have seen fat bald 60 something year old men in the past, they should have an excellent idea as to whether this is someone with whom they deign to have carnal knowledge.  

[MikeBiDude]

4 hours ago, Archangel said:

What happened to “The customer is always right?

While this was beaten into my being my whole life of being in customer related businesses, it’s just not the same today. Instagram, TikTok and others now show horror stories of customers treating businesses and their staff horribly. Sorry, yes we aim to please but things are getting out of hand nowadays.

[Archangel]

15 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

Instagram, TikTok and others now show horror stories of customers treating businesses and their staff horribly.

I’m not speaking of abusive customers. I it’s safe to say we all know that I’m not, either. I’m not asking for a free pass to be a jerk. I’m speaking of a service provider providing a service and understanding there is some level of sacrifice that comes with being a service provider (as one who works in a service profession, I know what it is to be expected to go beyond what I would do for “fun” and what it is to experience people inappropriately demanding things of me).

I’m speaking of service providers whose egos delude them into feeling entitled to service themselves, from their clients. Or having requirements of us, the clients. I’m not speaking of expecting basic human respect and cleanliness. Those are givens. I’m speaking of a checklist of things that you might have for a hookup. If you think it’s my responsibility to live up to your ideal for gay model material in order for me to hire you, you aren’t providing a service – you’re demanding payment for the privilege of paying you. It’s my opinion 🤷🏼‍♂️ I’ll reiterate: that’s not me looking to degrade the escort; it’s me saying the escort isn’t interested in really providing service but instead looking to get paid for sex he’d likely get for free on hookup apps or the club anyhow. I, in part, hire precisely because I don’t score on apps or in typical gay venues.

When you become a service provider, you subordinate yourself, at least to a degree, to the client. It’s not happenstance that “service” and “servant” share the same etymological root…not saying a provider is a servant, but if service doesn’t entail serving, at some level, at least for escorts, we need a better way of referring to it. I don’t like calling something one thing when we all know it’s something else.*

*e.g. Guys who call their rate a donation. 
 

[+ Pensant]

On 7/3/2025 at 1:14 PM, dbar123 said:

What I really loathe are the escorts who want to have a conversation prior to hiring

I actually prefer that with a new provider. We both get a good sense of one another.

[sky]

13 hours ago, Archangel said:

When you become a service provider, you subordinate yourself, at least to a degree, to the client. It’s not happenstance that “service” and “servant” share the same etymological root…not saying a provider is a servant, but if service doesn’t entail serving, at some level, at least for escorts, we need a better way of referring to it. I don’t like calling something one thing when we all know it’s something else.

Exactly, as a client we are paying the escort (service provider) to serve us.  Being an escort definitely isn't for everyone so these service providers should consider before advertising if this is something for them.  Beyond having the ability to service anyone who hires you (some that might not be as attractive as you'd like), they also need to be comfortable being a basically being a sex object.  

[pubic_assistance]

17 hours ago, purplekow said:

is the expectation that when i describe myself as over 60 fat and bald, that should be enough information for them to make a decision to allow themselves to be hired if that decision is based on appearance. 

I think this issue is being regarded as WAY too binary: "Either you can fuck everything that moves or you shouldn't be a provider." 🙄  I completely disagree...and I repeat: EVERYONE has a right to run their business they way they deem appropriate.  Don't like it/ don't shop there.  

To say I am: 60, fat and bald, certainly doesn't mean that everyone in that category is the SAME. People age differently, look differently, and the term "fat" is VERY general. I think that I AM "fat", when i dont work out regularly. To me, even a beer belly is "fat". To another person 300 pounds and a 48 inch waist is "fat". The description is only part of the picture and there have been multiple conversations here where providers hit a wall with a client who was particularly unappealing in appearance, even though they generally had a come-one-come-all attitude. 

Edited July 5 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[Ali Gator]

16 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

While this was beaten into my being my whole life of being in customer related businesses, it’s just not the same today. Instagram, TikTok and others now show horror stories of customers treating businesses and their staff horribly. Sorry, yes we aim to please but things are getting out of hand nowadays.

As a former small retail business owner (1987 - 2011), who tried to satisfy every customer and their whims, I have to say 'the customer is always right' has gone the way of the dinosaur.  We, as customers, have allowed this. And I'm not talking about small businesses - I'm talking about big businesses. 

See how far you get with 'the customer is always right' when you deal with your cell phone company (especially Verizon), your internet / cable provider, your medical insurance provider, your local utilities, your credit card company, etc. - any big national business at all.  They made it clear decades ago they don't care about you the customer and your satisfaction (we're all replaceable) - they are always right, and not you.

From time to time, I will get a sympathetic customer service rep who has been doing his / her job for many years and will take the time to  'investigate' and take care of the situation to my satisfaction (I like when they say, 'You're right. You shouldn't have been charged for this.') But those customer service reps are a rare breed these days. 

The majority of reps I deal with over the phone and in person just read off their monitors. They are not allowed - not paid enough - to make a judgment call or solve a problem. They just read the script in front of them, and after four or five rounds with them to exhaust the customer, you are then put on hold until they drop your call. They are the gatekeepers, and their one job is to prevent the customer from going forward and fixing the company's errors. The customer ends up wiped out, and we give in to paying the erroneous charges and fees. 

It's happened to all of us more often than it has not. We have allowed this to happen to us, and accept it as a normal way of doing business, over the years. 

 

[+ purplekow]

5 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I think this issue is being regarded as WAY too binary: "Either you can fuck everything that moves or you shouldn't be a provider." 🙄  I completely disagree...and I repeat: EVERYONE has a right to run their business they way they deem appropriate.  Don't like it/ don't shop there.  

To say I am: 60, fat and bald, certainly doesn't mean that everyone in that category is the SAME. People age differently, look differently, and the term "fat" is VERY general. I think that I AM "fat", when i dont work out regularly. To me, even a beer belly is "fat". To another person 300 pounds and a 48 inch waist is "fat". The description is only part of the picture and there have been multiple conversations here where providers hit a wall with a client who was particularly unappealing in appearance, even though they generally had a come-one-come-all attitude. 

I never questioned the escorts right to run his business.  When I say I am fat bald and over 60 that should be enough information for an escort.  If he wants more, I am inclined to speak to him and answer any questions that he may have.  Do my eyes match? yes.  Are my feet attractive? not particularly.  Do I shower regularly? yes, at least daily. Is my cock unusual in any way? no average all around.  Is my breath fresh? I brush and gargle before a visit.  Do I have all my teeth? 29. 2 crowns and missing a back molar otherwise in good shape.  All of those questions and any others answered and no picture.  In fact, a picture would not answer most of those questions.  So no picture going to be sent.  The ball is in his court, he can volley or not.  There are other players out there if he chooses to move on.   He has the right to ask.  I have the right to say no.  His is the next move.  

Check or Mate?

Edited July 5 by purplekow

[Archangel]

7 hours ago, sky said:

Being an escort definitely isn't for everyone so these service providers should consider before advertising if this is something for them.  Beyond having the ability to service anyone who hires you (some that might not be as attractive as you'd like), they also need to be comfortable being a basically being a sex object. 

There are certain parameters that seem the bare minimum for calling yourself an “escort.” Certainly an escort can set limits as he feels fit, but at some point, limiting “services” provided, for whatever reasons, means you’re no longer an escort.

This guy thinks he’s pope (Peter III). Does a lot of popish things. But that doesn’t make him pope. Even though he thinks it, has his defenders, and followers.

[Archangel]

6 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

See how far you get with 'the customer is always right' when you deal with your cell phone company (especially Verizon), your internet / cable provider, your medical insurance provider, your local utilities, your credit card company, etc. - any big national business at all.  They made it clear decades ago they don't care about you the customer and your satisfaction (we're all replaceable) - they are always right, and not you.

They can not care because of their sheer size of their enterprise. If they lose a few dissatisfied customers, so what? And they also have a relative monopoly as a few industries on the market. 

[Gilfson]

5 minutes ago, Archangel said:

There are certain parameters that seem the bare minimum for calling yourself an “escort.” Certainly an escort can set limits as he feels fit, but at some point, limiting “services” provided, for whatever reasons, means you’re no longer an escort.

This guy thinks he’s pope (Peter III). Does a lot of popish things. But that doesn’t make him pope. Even though he thinks it, has his defenders, and followers.

I mean at the end of the day an escort is a person first. And it’s their body that they can do with what they seem fit. And if they tell you before you meet what they are and aren’t comfortable with and you agree then what’s the issue. There are escorts that strictly do the boyfriend experience. They don’t have sex with a client they just go to a nice date or spend the night with a client. It’s their business and they can choose which services they would and wouldn’t provide. 

[Archangel]

15 minutes ago, Gilfson said:

I mean at the end of the day an escort is a person first. And it’s their body that they can do with what they seem fit. And if they tell you before you meet what they are and aren’t comfortable with and you agree then what’s the issue. There are escorts that strictly do the boyfriend experience. They don’t have sex with a client they just go to a nice date or spend the night with a client. It’s their business and they can choose which services they would and wouldn’t provide. 

You know exactly what is meant and it’s not along those lines. Where did anyone suggest an escort isn’t a person? The closest comment was “sex object,” which some escorts even enjoy being “reduced” to. Some advertiser that they want to be used…if that’s what you’re looking for. I’m not looking for it so I move on from those profiles.

The conversation, at least for me, was about escorts who feel entitled to a particular client and aren’t interested, really, at the end of the day, about the client’s satisfaction. Their chief concern is their own pleasure. And getting paid for sex does something for their ego. They could get the same thing for nothing with similar “partners,” but since some guys will pay for it, for whatever reason, they charge for it. In that respect, bully for them. But in another respect, the supercilious, entitled condescension they have toward those of us who aren’t Adonis is what I’m talking about. How dare we have the temerity approaching a good looking guy advertising his services!

Tangential – a BFE doesn’t include sex? 

[Gilfson]

8 minutes ago, Archangel said:

You know exactly what is meant and it’s not along those lines. Where did anyone suggest an escort isn’t a person? The closest comment was “sex object,” which some escorts even enjoy being “reduced” to. Some advertiser that they want to be used…if that’s what you’re looking for. I’m not looking for it so I move on from those profiles.

The conversation, at least for me, was about escorts who feel entitled to a particular client and aren’t interested, really, at the end of the day, about the client’s satisfaction. Their chief concern is their own pleasure. And getting paid for sex does something for their ego. They could get the same thing for nothing with similar “partners,” but since some guys will pay for it, for whatever reason, they charge for it. In that respect, bully for them. But in another respect, the supercilious, entitled condescension they have toward those of us who aren’t Adonis is what I’m talking about. How dare we have the temerity approaching a good looking guy advertising his services!

Tangential – a BFE doesn’t include sex? 

Your claim was an escort isn’t an escort if they limit their services too much.. but that’s not for you to decide if I as an escort tell you what I offer that’s what I offer end of story. If it’s not what you’re looking for that’s fine move on but you don’t get to claim that person isn’t an escort. Especially when an “escort” just means to accompany another person. Aka on a date or a night out. Doesn’t inherently mean sex so you claiming that someone who limits their service isn’t what they claim to be is just wrong. You don’t get to decide what a provider offers. If what they offer isn’t for you that’s fine but that doesn’t mean they aren’t an escort.

[Archangel]

Are we really going to say that an escort is someone who accompanies someone and nothing more? Really? Not a rhetorical question…

[Archangel]

Look, I’m not going to debate it anymore. It’s disingenuous to say an escort provides accompaniment and nothing more. Tell that to the vice squad when apprehended—if it ever actually happens. Any reasonable person understands what transpires between an escort and client.

A guy who doesn’t provide services directed at pleasing the client but is looking to get paid for something he could get for free through hookup apps and other gay social settings isn’t an escort. You can tell me I’m wrong. I’m sure there are plenty here who agree with you. There may be a few who agree with me. Telling me I’m wrong and saying it’s so because you happen to be an escort doesn’t make me wrong.

I’m not interested in picking a fight or having an argument. I’ve said my piece on that and that’s that. Let the applause begin because I’m shutting up.

[Oakman]

On 7/3/2025 at 10:00 PM, josh282282 said:

Could you elaborate on how/when escorts achieved this societal "right" to get pictures of potential clients? 

I've never heard of this before and I'd like to learn more.  

Escorting does not have a professional “standard of care” like other, legal, service providers (lawyers, plumbers, engineers, mechanics, doctors, and other licensed professionals). This means they can provide their services however the fuck they see fit. 
 

If a provider wants to see client photos, he can make that a condition of his services. This may reduce his customer pool, but may not actually reduce his business. If he continues to make money and has happy clients, what business is that of yours? 

Keep in mind, requesting escorting services on the internet has been but a blip in the history of male-male sex work. Before the internet, men had to negotiate these transactions in person, and rejection was just as much a risk.

[Gilfson]

1 minute ago, Archangel said:

Look, I’m not going to debate it anymore. It’s disingenuous to say an escort provides accompaniment and nothing more. Tell that to the vice squad when apprehended—if it ever actually happens. Any reasonable person understands what transpires between an escort and client.

A guy who doesn’t provide services directed at pleasing the client but is looking to get paid for something he could get for free through hookup apps and other gay social settings isn’t an escort. You can tell me I’m wrong. I’m sure there are plenty here who agree with you. There may be a few who agree with me. Telling me I’m wrong and saying it’s so because you happen to be an escort doesn’t make me wrong.

I’m not interested in picking a fight or having an argument. I’ve said my piece on that and that’s that. Let the applause begin because I’m shutting up.

It’s disingenuous to say that some escorts provide sex while others don’t? No it’s just a fact there are plenty of escorts that don’t provide sex. Just because you have an idea of what an escort is doesn’t mean every escort falls into that category 

[Oakman]

On 7/4/2025 at 7:57 AM, sky said:

Agreed here, does an accountant, waiter/waitress or barber get to see a picture of their potential clients or pick and choose who they see?  They are getting paid so they work with their clientele.  Money changes the dynamic.  In personal life an escort can pick and choose who they want to see if they aren't getting paid but money changes the dynamic.  If they want to make money they should be non-judgemental and see whoever wants to hire them.  If they can't handle that then they should find something different.

I provide professional design services and can most certainly turn down potential clients on whatever basis I see fit. “I don’t think this project is right for me, can I refer you to a colleague,” is an entirely legal form of professional rejection. And keep in mind, professions that are legal are bound by a “standard of care.” Illicit trades are bound only by what the participants see fit. 

[Gilfson]

22 minutes ago, Archangel said:

Are we really going to say that an escort is someone who accompanies someone and nothing more? Really? Not a rhetorical question…

Also you asked a question and then said your not going to discuss anymore… make it makes sense 

Edited July 6 by Gilfson

[francisssgorg]

Straight escorts/providers are better than the gay ones. A session with a provider or an escort should be purely transactional. Your aim is to be sexually satisfied. Straight escorts don't ask you for your photos. If those "straight" providers ask you for one, ask them why do they need it. For security reasons? They can easily call you and confirm if you are a real person. But if they need to approve your physical appearance before accepting a slot, well, chances are, they're not as" straight" as they say they are. And it's not like I'm invalidating gay providers. You can choose them all you want, just know that they can have inhibitions based on how they like you physically... Like their "turn ons". It's just that, why bother paying if you can find somebody as superficially hot in hook up apps like grindr? 

To make it simple: these providers ask you for your photo to check if you are attractive or not, "security" reasons are excuses gay providers make in order to bait for a photo. And I've said this before and I'll say it again, paid gay providers willl still do the deed for you of course, it's paid. Just so you know, performance and quality may always suffer. 

Edited July 6 by francisssgorg

[Ali Gator]

14 hours ago, Archangel said:

They can not care because of their sheer size of their enterprise. If they lose a few dissatisfied customers, so what? And they also have a relative monopoly as a few industries on the market. 

Exactly my point. And once again, I'll reiterate - we, the consumers, have allowed this to happen over the past 40 years. We have allowed them to monopolize, we have allowed them to mistreat and take advantage of us, and most importantly - we have normalized this 'customer service' behavior. Now we suffer the consequences. 

[d.anders]

Beware of any personal attitude you may have about service professionals, especially the attitudes that can be perceived as negative. IME, service professionals can smell disrespect a mile away.

16 hours ago, purplekow said:

When I say I am fat bald and over 60 that should be enough information for an escort.

It's too much bad information, if your goal is to win someone over. It's a coarse way of speaking about oneself, and lacks zero charm. It's an easy turn-off. It says, "I'm ugly and pitiful, deal with it." It's a bad attempt at expressing self-effacing humor.

On 7/4/2025 at 3:11 PM, Archangel said:

What happened to “The customer is always right?”

She died awhile ago. Too many assholes now.

On 7/4/2025 at 7:56 PM, MikeBiDude said:

Instagram, TikTok and others now show horror stories of customers treating businesses and their staff horribly.

The proliferation of entitled assholes is astounding. Shame does not exist anymore, so the asshole feels free to act out. Beware. Asshole customers can be dangerous.

21 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

The majority of reps I deal with over the phone and in person just read off their monitors.

I will not deal with entry-level customer service people. If you want resolution to a problem, it is best to aim higher. The "customer is always right" may be a dinosaur concept, but I will not give up my right to complain and get a favorable resolution. If a company cares about its reputation, they will deal with problems. I've had success dealing with the monsters mentioned. The fight is not fun, but if you give up the fight, you surrender. They win.

Edited July 6 by d.anders