jockstrapdaddy Posted July 2 Posted July 2 (edited) Before the last 3 years, never once had a provider ask me for a pic. Now they ALL seem to ask for it, with some demanding a photo. Objectively from their perspective, they want to know who they are meeting and it gives them a sense of security that the client will not flake on them. As a client, I have the exact opposite reaction. 1) sharing a photo puts clients at risk of blackmail and extortion 2) it eliminates client discretion and anonymity 3) part of hiring providers is to eliminate fear of rejection based on appearance What are your thoughts? Do you provide photos? Edited to add: Just curious about some demographics for those that aren't concerned about sharing a photo: * Are you retired? * Are you at will employment, self employed or some form of union? * Are you in a blue state (US)? Edited July 2 by jockstrapdaddy
Nightowl Posted July 2 Posted July 2 I’m not really concerned about your first two rationales for withholding the photo since there are so many photos out in the ether that could be copied and used for nefarious purposes, it would be easy to say “I don’t know this guy who is blackmailing me. He must’ve gotten my picture from Facebook.”. If it was a nude pic of you, that would, of course be different. Your third item—rejection—might be the thing many of us would be most concerned about. Too old/young, too fat/skinny, too hairy/hairless, too many tattoos, etc, might lead to rejection. It’s all superficial but still a concern. + Pensant, + KensingtonHomo and pubic_assistance 2 1
+ nycman Posted July 2 Posted July 2 Yeah, no. I’m the one paying. Too many fish. Next! DznNYC, spidir, jockstrapdaddy and 7 others 6 1 1 2
BuffaloKyle Posted July 2 Posted July 2 I'm ok with sending a face pic personally. I only hire guys pretty much who have been reviewed positively on here so I know for instance they're legit. My family and coworkers wouldn't even be shocked to find out I hire and wouldn't care so a provider wouldn't even phase me if they said they'd tell them. 😅 + muscleboyinsd, + KensingtonHomo, + Pensant and 1 other 2 2
dbar123 Posted July 2 Posted July 2 A London provider I recently contacted asked for a photo. Once I sent it he ghosted me. In reality he probably did me a favor. If he wasn’t going to be engaged I didn’t want to go through with it anyway pubic_assistance, PIKEMASTER, ER12321 and 3 others 4 2
spidir Posted July 2 Posted July 2 Providers have sometimes asked for a photo. I always decline but offer to meet in public if that will put their mind at ease. Each time they proceeded with our appointment without the public meeting. Moke, jackcali, pubic_assistance and 3 others 4 1 1
SirBillybob Posted July 2 Posted July 2 (edited) I routinely provide my photo in isolation without the message option within it for that particular send. It is plunked in between whatever text components are submitted within the platform chat. I don’t write anything like “here is my photo” or “this is me”. The receiver is to assume it. Then with a small wave or a nod in the lobby or other setting of face-to-face introduction there is no confusion or uncertainty. The cloak-and-dagger approach of the blind date white lapel carnation is a bit much. For residential buildings sometimes the guy surges past or is on the wrong side of the street. I prefer that he have some inkling of the client hot on his trail and hailing him. Edited July 2 by SirBillybob Oakman, + KensingtonHomo, Luv2play and 1 other 1 2 1
Oakman Posted July 2 Posted July 2 Some of these guys need to feel physical attraction in order to perform, and requesting a photo is their way of ensuring that they can provide the service you want. Sending a G-rated photo is very low-risk. If that scenario isn’t acceptable to you, there are other providers who can do the job without regard for your appearance. Hire them. + KensingtonHomo, Nightowl, pubic_assistance and 5 others 2 4 2
BeHappy Posted July 2 Posted July 2 7 hours ago, Oakman said: Some of these guys need to feel physical attraction in order to perform, and requesting a photo is their way of ensuring that they can provide the service you want. Sending a G-rated photo is very low-risk. If that scenario isn’t acceptable to you, there are other providers who can do the job without regard for your appearance. Hire them. Yes totally agree! I was reluctant at first as well! It is becoming the norm now! + KensingtonHomo 1
+ JamesB Posted July 2 Posted July 2 1 hour ago, BeHappy said: It is becoming the norm now! This hasn't been my experience at all. In over 15 years of hiring, I've only been asked for a pic once and that was a couple of years ago. Moke, + muscleboyinsd, Yukon21 and 4 others 2 5
sky Posted July 2 Posted July 2 Here is my take. The escort is the one we are hiring. We need to see what the product looks like. Many of us though hire wanting anonymity so having our photo out there defeats the purpose. If an escort were to ask me for photos I'd pass. They need to be willing to see whoever is willing to hire them. pubic_assistance, jockstrapdaddy and Moke 1 1 1
marylander1940 Posted July 2 Posted July 2 10 hours ago, Oakman said: Some of these guys need to feel physical attraction in order to perform, and requesting a photo is their way of ensuring that they can provide the service you want. Sending a G-rated photo is very low-risk. If that scenario isn’t acceptable to you, there are other providers who can do the job without regard for your appearance. Hire them. if they need to be physically attracted to the client.... they're in the wrong business because MOST of the times they won't be attracted to the client. Luv2play, Johnrom, JourneysEnd and 3 others 1 2 2 1
d.anders Posted July 2 Posted July 2 3 hours ago, marylander1940 said: if they need to be physically attracted to the client.... they're in the wrong business because MOST of the times they won't be attracted to the client. This is true, but these days, it seems we're seeing more and more guys dip a toe into this business, thinking they can get reasonable "hot" guys to pay them for sex. I'm sure there are a few takers, and maybe that's enough to profit from an ad (for a minute). + KensingtonHomo, pubic_assistance and + Just Chuck 2 1
marylander1940 Posted July 2 Posted July 2 1 minute ago, d.anders said: This is true, but these days, it seems we're seeing more and more guys dip a toe into this business, thinking they can get reasonable "hot" guys to pay them for sex. I'm sure there are a few takers, and maybe that's enough to profit from an ad (for a minute). They might be testing the waters out of curiosity/need or while promoting their OF page while hopefully attracting young in shape clients. There's also Grindr fatigue and many young men are hiring tired of wasting time in the app.
d.anders Posted July 2 Posted July 2 17 minutes ago, marylander1940 said: There's also Grindr fatigue and many young men are hiring tired of wasting time in the app. I've heard this as well. marylander1940 and + Pensant 2
+ Just Chuck Posted July 2 Posted July 2 I have provided a photo more than once. I think the providers who I gave a photo to were in the barely dipping a toe into the business and only semi-pro. When I did meet with them, they seemed to need me to guide them through the process. The quality of the encounters with them ranges from grade D+ through some A+ performances. I guess the ones who were attracted to my photo found it easy to "not look like they're faking it" since they were acting (in part) upon attraction. jockstrapdaddy and + Pensant 2
+ KensingtonHomo Posted July 2 Posted July 2 5 hours ago, sky said: Here is my take. The escort is the one we are hiring. We need to see what the product looks like. Many of us though hire wanting anonymity so having our photo out there defeats the purpose. If an escort were to ask me for photos I'd pass. They need to be willing to see whoever is willing to hire them. Unless you're someone with no social media presence, there are likely photos of you that can be easily found. If someone is requesting a photo, you have every right to refuse, and they have every right not to meet you. While I maintain that sex work is work and should be decriminalized or legalized, it's not the same as going to the barber or even getting a massage. While some providers may well be trying to monetize their sex lives, I suspect most who ask for a pic are trying to get a sense of the person they'll be meeting. I have a pretty diverse sexual palette but I know some guys would be a nonstarter for me. I also feel like if I send a photo and the person ghosts me (which has yet to happen), I probably dodged a bullet. + Pensant, pubic_assistance, Nightowl and 2 others 4 1
jockstrapdaddy Posted July 2 Author Posted July 2 6 hours ago, d.anders said: This is true, but these days, it seems we're seeing more and more guys dip a toe into this business, thinking they can get reasonable "hot" guys to pay them for sex. I'm sure there are a few takers, and maybe that's enough to profit from an ad (for a minute). This is one of my thoughts ... basically want to see if they can make their grindr past time a paid hobby. 😂 Treat it like it's a dating app! 🙃 + Drew Collins and + Vegas_Millennial 1 1
Heart It Deep Posted July 3 Posted July 3 Personally- I only met with providers who I am abe to message on WhatsApp. I have a photo there, so they already know what my face looks like. I don't appreciate when they used expiring messages or photos, but that is what it is.
Nightowl Posted July 3 Posted July 3 Further to a comment I made earlier about rejection, on a few occasions I’ve sent an unsolicited photo to a new provider once we have set up the appointment and details, and I know enough about him to have some level of trust in him. I do this because I want to give him an out if he doesn’t like what he sees when I get there. As a matter of fact, I just did it this morning….Yes, I know it’s insecurity on my part… Archangel 1
Archangel Posted July 3 Posted July 3 On 7/1/2025 at 8:32 PM, jockstrapdaddy said: it gives them a sense of security that the client will not flake on them Can you say why you say this? What does a flake look like and what does a serious client look like? Unless I misunderstood something… + Vegas_Millennial 1
Archangel Posted July 3 Posted July 3 1 hour ago, Nightowl said: I do this because I want to give him an out if he doesn’t like what he sees when I get there. And likely if you feel secure enough to do that, you already sense he’s a decent enough guy not to back out… pubic_assistance 1
Archangel Posted July 3 Posted July 3 21 hours ago, d.anders said: This is true, but these days, it seems we're seeing more and more guys dip a toe into this business, thinking they can get reasonable "hot" guys to pay them for sex. I'm sure there are a few takers, and maybe that's enough to profit from an ad (for a minute). There are many guys who act like it’s our privilege to pay them to deign to fuck us. It’s a constellation of issues that breeds this mindset, but it’s definitely rife among a certain type of guy. A good indicator is a near carbon copy of every other popup ad on RM that is only 2-3 months old. Another huge turn off is “Serious only.” Who sees that and thinks, “Ah, damn. Can’t contact this guy. I’m not serious!” + Vegas_Millennial, Nightowl, pubic_assistance and 1 other 2 2
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