Bareback

[sky]

A question for other clients, do you expect bareback from your escorts knowing the potential risks.  I know these days PrEP is available but it's not 100% and there are other STIs out there.  Knowing this community I'd think all escorts should be on PrEP and ready to offer bare services.  

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

This comment is brought up every few months here. 

Bareback: Some are for, some are against.  Lather, rinse, repeat. 

Sure, every escort should care about his health and well-being, but that's not altogether realistic in an unregulated industry. This is why YOU always protect YOURSELF in whatever way you prefer to maintain a healthy life. 

Your health is your responsibility.  No one else's.

Edited May 12 by BenjaminNicholas

[56harrisond]

 

[Yukon21]

I play safe while hiring and always make that part of the agreement before booking.  While I dont keep records, I'd say I get turned down close to 50 percent of the time by the escort or I don't book when an escort says I'm on prep and won't use a condom.  My last attempt to hire an escort last week added a new one,  "I'll wear it but you have to bring it"  with an attitude in his reply. I didn't book.  I figured his reluctance might effect his attitude and my overall experience. I don't have a problem for those that want it bb.  It's just not for me.  

[LookingAround]

To answer your question directly. Yes I expect it. 

[maninsoma]

1 hour ago, Yukon21 said:

I play safe while hiring and always make that part of the agreement before booking.  While I dont keep records, I'd say I get turned down close to 50 percent of the time by the escort or I don't book when an escort says I'm on prep and won't use a condom.  My last attempt to hire an escort last week added a new one,  "I'll wear it but you have to bring it"  with an attitude in his reply. I didn't book.  I figured his reluctance might effect his attitude and my overall experience. I don't have a problem for those that want it bb.  It's just not for me.  

Maybe something else in his response conveyed attitude or reluctance, but I just took from his reply that since he normally doesn't use condoms he wasn't going to go out to purchase them and wanted to make sure you brought one.

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, Yukon21 said:

I play safe while hiring and always make that part of the agreement before booking.  While I dont keep records, I'd say I get turned down close to 50 percent of the time by the escort or I don't book when an escort says I'm on prep and won't use a condom.  My last attempt to hire an escort last week added a new one,  "I'll wear it but you have to bring it"  with an attitude in his reply. I didn't book.  I figured his reluctance might effect his attitude and my overall experience. I don't have a problem for those that want it bb.  It's just not for me.  

I reached out to a provider recently—gave him my description, stats, exactly what I was looking for, and let him know upfront that I wanted to use condoms. Everything seemed great until we got to that part, when he started explaining to me that bareback would be much more enjoyable. He went on about today’s medications, “sign of the times,” yadda yadda.

As if I wasn’t aware.

Whatever my reasons are—they’re my reasons. 

So he said, fine, but that I wanted him to wear a condom I had to bring them (he told me which kind he prefers).

Much like you, I got the sense that his reluctance would affect the vibe and make for a less enjoyable encounter. So I passed.

[+ ApexNomad]

22 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

Maybe something else in his response conveyed attitude or reluctance, but I just took from his reply that since he normally doesn't use condoms he wasn't going to go out to purchase them and wanted to make sure you brought one.

Unless his ad specifically states “Bareback only,” go out and buy them! Let’s not be cheap and selfish. (I’m also paying for his Uber to/from.)

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Being Gen X, when hubby and I started playing with others, I was shocked at how little condom use there is. As a bottom on PreP, I'm fine using condoms or not. It really doesn't affect my experience. I do think it can impact a top's experience. They're also less likely to get an STI if they're strictly tops. So that's another disconnect. 

One thing I've noticed is that eschewing condoms altogether seems to be a very American thing. In Mexico, Spain and Canada, most providers used condoms. I don't know if that's due to less PreP access or just a general acknowledge of other STIs, but it's notable. 

[+ Jamie21]

Should always be the client’s choice if the provider is open to either. Personally I don’t use them to top but if a client wants to use on when they top me that’s fine. I find the opening the package and putting it on really detracts from the moment but of course catching something really detracts from a much more significant period of time! Best to be careful, test regularly, take prep and doxy prep etc. 

[ShortCutie7]

I’ve posted a lot on this topic so won’t beat a dead horse, but this is a point that I don’t believe I’ve hit before because it should be obvious: 

Generally speaking, it is a provider’s job to play with anyone willing to pay.  This “anyone willing to pay” may not be truthful about having an STI, may not know if he has an STI, and may not necessarily even be asked by the provider if he has an STI.  When you are playing with a provider, you are also playing with all of these men he has played with.  While the provider can do everything in his power to protect himself, nothing is 100% effective.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

4 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

When you are playing with a provider, you are also playing with all of these men he has played with.

This is true of anyone you sleep with, not just providers. 

[Colton]

> escorts will bareback on their online videos (often self-produced) and with their personal hookups but only use condoms with clients

I think Nick Floyd said that this is because bb w clients would mandate a cooling off period before he could do studio work again.  But bb w other performers does not require a cooling off period. 

[ShortCutie7]

38 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

This is true of anyone you sleep with, not just providers. 

True!  But my point is that providers have a different vetting process from other guys.

[+ Jamie21]

2 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

True!  But my point is that providers have a different vetting process from other guys.

And providers get tested very regularly. I’m amazed at some guys (non professionals) who don’t get routine tests yet have lots of casual partners. 

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, ApexNomad said:

Much like you, I got the sense that his reluctance would affect the vibe and make for a less enjoyable encounter. So I passed.

Same. I would simply pass on anyone who refused condom use.

I grew up during the AIDS epidemic so condoms were pretty de reguieur when I was in high school and college. Never had a performance problem over their use, since I never had sex without them.

Ive had some unprotected sex with people who I knew ..but that is still today a rare occasion for me. I am completely uncomfortable sticking my dick in a guy's ass knowing that 100 different gay men recently dumped a load inside him.

[ShortCutie7]

2 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

And providers get tested very regularly. I’m amazed at some guys (non professionals) who don’t get routine tests yet have lots of casual partners. 

Totally!  This is part of why I hire: providers are more likely to be more cognizant of their sexual health.  But the second somebody BBs with anyone after getting a test, it renders the previous test invalid.

6 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I am completely uncomfortable sticking my dick in a guy's ass knowing that 100 different gay men recently dumped a load inside him.

Exactly.  Even if there was no health risk, there’s just something “icky” about it to me.

[+ FrankR]

10 hours ago, sky said:

A question for other clients, do you expect bareback from your escorts knowing the potential risks.  I know these days PrEP is available but it's not 100% and there are other STIs out there.  Knowing this community I'd think all escorts should be on PrEP and ready to offer bare services.  

No, I don’t expect it. Nor do I ask for it. This old queen grew up with STDs as a real health threat and prefers to stay safe. As a bonus, condoms also help with the clean up after. You make your own decisions. My regulars like my safe practices and they appreciate me not putting pressure on them to bareback. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, ShortCutie7 said:

Even if there was no health risk, there’s just something “icky” about it to me.

That's worth exploring for both you and @pubic_assistance. Queer men carry around a lot of internalized sexual shame from religion, the AIDS epidemic, etc. I'm not suggesting you change your safer sex practices. But feeling like there's something "icky" about your sexual partners or the kind of sex you desire may be harming you emotionally. Being raised Catholic, I'm still excavating my issues around sexual shame, but overall, my relationship to sex is much better than it was 20 years ago.  

[pubic_assistance]

15 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

That's worth exploring for both you and @pubic_assistance. Queer men carry around a lot of internalized sexual shame from religion,

I dont have any "shame". I am extremely sex-positive. But then I am neither "queer",  nor was I raised Catholic. So please dont lump me in with your own issues.

I happen to have a total fetish for cum play. So I'm rather the opposite on the "ick" factor. I love watching a bottom get loaded up from both ends at an orgy. I simply choose not to participate in unprotected ANALsex,  because I choose to LIMIT my risk factor to catching an STI. I've just been lucky on the oral-sex having never caught anything, in spite of being frequently engaged in group sex and hundreds of sex partners. So basically lowering my risks...but not avoiding them altogether.  Every person needs to navigate the risk factor to his own degree. In all my years of same-sex activity, Ive never allowed anyone to top me without a condom. Thats my most strict limit. I have occasionally topped others raw...but only with people I knew. RARELY ever with a stranger...and I remember always being a bit paranoid for a few days after, when I did fuck a hot random. I would always get tested within a couple days time. Thankfully I've never had a single STI with the exception that I test positive for Hepatitis B without ever having experienced any symptoms.

Edited May 12 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[Constantine]

1 hour ago, Colton said:

> escorts will bareback on their online videos (often self-produced) and with their personal hookups but only use condoms with clients

I think Nick Floyd said that this is because bb w clients would mandate a cooling off period before he could do studio work again.  But bb w other performers does not require a cooling off period. 

Wait, Nick Floyd escorts? Wow. Can you share his profile?

[Constantine]

I'm a top who only uses condoms. It's happened to me twice now where bottoms slipped me in without a condom and both times I had to go through a horribly stress inducing 28 days of PEP. 

There've been several other times where bottoms have said either before or mid-session that we didn't need condoms but I managed to maintain my restraint in those cases.

I'm not a doctor but I recall reading that PrEP protects you from HIV 1 but not HIV 2. I don't think it's the silver bullet that people think it is. There's also a risk of bone loss and eventual osteoporosis with PrEP.

[ShortCutie7]

1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said:

That's worth exploring for both you and @pubic_assistance. Queer men carry around a lot of internalized sexual shame from religion, the AIDS epidemic, etc. I'm not suggesting you change your safer sex practices. But feeling like there's something "icky" about your sexual partners or the kind of sex you desire may be harming you emotionally. Being raised Catholic, I'm still excavating my issues around sexual shame, but overall, my relationship to sex is much better than it was 20 years ago.  

I totally see where you’re coming from and know I have stuff to work on, but  I think the “ick factor” would still be present if it were a woman/vagina.  I was raised Jewish and the only shame I carry tied to being gay is that I will not be able to live a traditional lifestyle with a wife/kids/etc.

 

48 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

But then I am neither "queer",  nor was I raised Catholic.

I HATE the label “queer” and you may not self-identify as such, but others would say that anyone who is not 100% straight is “queer”.

46 minutes ago, Quincy_7 said:

 

I'm not a doctor but I recall reading that PrEP protects you from HIV 1 but not HIV 2. I don't think it's the silver bullet that people think it is. There's also a risk of bone loss and eventual osteoporosis with PrEP.

PrEP has never been said to be 100% effective.  It also hasn’t been around long enough for anyone to truly know the long-term effects.

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, Quincy_7 said:

I'm a top who only uses condoms. It's happened to me twice now where bottoms slipped me in without a condom and both times I had to go through a horribly stress inducing 28 days of PEP. 

So let me get this straight—you’re the top, you only use condoms, and yet the bottom somehow managed to “slip himself in” not once, but twice—and you just didn’t notice there wasn’t one on? For the entire time you were fucking the bottom?

Is that what you’re saying?

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

2 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

So let me get this straight—you’re the top, you only use condoms, and yet the bottom somehow managed to “slip himself in” not once, but twice—and you just didn’t notice there wasn’t one on? For the entire time you were fucking the bottom?

Is that what you’re saying?

I questioned that statement at first, too.  But I've been with a few really slutty bottoms who, as each was on top of me making out, slipped me into his hole before I knew what had happened.