Providers: What is the ideal client?

[Nightowl]

When I first started going for massages using RMass and MF, I didn’t know what to expect or how to behave.  At my very first booking, I thought there would be some discussion of what I needed or was expecting but there wasn’t; all I got was an instruction to undress and lay on the table.  No draping and the masseur watched as I stripped. I knew then that it was going to be different but I had no idea how I was supposed to behave. Was I supposed to lay there and let what happened, happen, or was I supposed to do whatever moved me? I ended up with the latter and apologized to the provider via text the next day for letting my hands roam too freely over his body. Fortunately, he had no problem with me or my actions and I met with him many times after that.  

My questions for providers, though, is this: what behaviors do you want and expect from the ideal client? I’m not talking about physical characteristics but about what the client does or doesn’t do that makes for the ideal situation for you. I know grabby clients are annoying so no need to focus on that. What could and does a client do that makes you more inclined to accept bookings from him again?

[+ Lucky]

What about clients who chew gum and talk on the phone the entire time? That's ok, isn't it? After all, it's their massage.

[+ Jamie21]

The ideal client books 2 hours, gets excited, cums after 15 minutes, decides he’s satisfied, pays full price and leaves happy…..

I joke 😂 ( but there is an element of truth in it!!).

Truly, the ideal client books easily (no endless questions, pics requests, back and forth etc), turns up on time, is clean (showered etc), is respectful (as in treats you like a human being…) pays the agreed price…and books again. That’s basically it. 

I don’t mind if they just lay there and enjoy it without responding or if they want to touch me back and interact. What I’m interested in is that they enjoy themselves, however they want to. That’s most important to me. That’s why I love doing it, because of the satisfaction of knowing someone had a great time. Nothing beats it! 
 

[Nightowl]

32 minutes ago, Lucky said:

What about clients who chew gum and talk on the phone the entire time? That's ok, isn't it? After all, it's their massage.

Funny, but not particularly helpful. Thanks for playing! 😀

[Simon Suraci]

Pretty much what Jamie said. The ideal client respects my time, and me as a person. He maintains good hygiene, and responds to signals of when it’s time to touch (if he wants to) and when it’s time to relax. He indicates that he is enjoying my work either verbally or non verbally. He returns for more sessions. He books the session length appropriate to his needs.

My best clients refer others to me. I offer significant discounts for referrals because they are so rare and at the same time so much more valuable to me than anything else the client can do for my business.

Tipping is unnecessary, but a plus. It motivates me to go above and beyond. Clients who book more regularly I prefer much more than a one and done with a nice tip. Likewise the ideal client makes an effort to book me in their city when I am there, or when they visit mine.

Ideal clients I typically make some kind of spiritual connection with them, through the physical connection, but also through energy exchange and through conversation. Maybe that’s too woo-woo for many, but each client brings a certain energy to the table and I meet him where he is at. Ideal clients share themselves with me with honesty and vulnerability. Verbally and/or non verbally. I make myself emotionally available and present to invite that energy exchange to take place. 

So far I answered thinking of massage clients. I guess it’s somewhat different for escort sessions and combo sessions, but much of it is the same, especially the last bit about being yourself openly and honestly, being vulnerable and willing to connect on multiple levels, not just the physical. I have many great clients that primarily or only connect on a physical level, but my ideal clients connect on an emotional and spiritual level too.

For some, seeing me is a release of physical-emotional blockages (because the two are connected), profound relief and relaxation, self-discovery, mental clarity or even reaching a heightened state of mind or awareness. Again, none of this is necessary to be a good client. I’m just thinking of my “ideal” clients, for whom seeing me really makes a significant difference in their lives. That difference manifests in so many different ways. It gives me purpose. Making a difference fulfills me in a way that money can’t.

Edited March 13 by Simon Suraci

[+ ApexNomad]

33 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

Pretty much what Jamie said. The ideal client respect ms my time, and me as a person. He maintains good hygiene, and responds to signals of when it’s time to touch (if he wants to) and when it’s time to relax. He indicates that he is enjoying my work either verbally or non verbally. He returns for more sessions. He books the session length appropriate to his needs.

My best clients refer others to me. I offer significant discounts for referrals because they are so rare and at the same time so much more valuable to me than anything else the client can do for my business.

Tipping is unnecessary, but a plus. It motivates me to go above and beyond. Clients who book more regularly I prefer much more than a one and done with a nice tip. Likewise the ideal client makes an effort to book me in their city when I am there, or when they visit mine.

Ideal clients I typically make some kind of spiritual connection with them, through the physical connection, but also through energy exchange and through conversation. Maybe that’s too woo-woo for many, but each client brings a certain energy to the table and I meet him where he is at. Ideal clients share themselves with me with honesty and vulnerability. Verbally and/or non verbally. I make myself emotionally available and present to invite that energy exchange to take place. 

So far I answered thinking of massage clients. I guess it’s somewhat different for escort sessions and combo sessions, but much of it is the same, especially the last bit about being yourself openly and honestly, being vulnerable and willing to connect on multiple levels, not just the physical. I have many great clients that primarily or only connect on a physical level, but my ideal clients connect on an emotional and spiritual level too.

For some, seeing me is a release of physical-emotional blockages (because the two are connected), profound relief and relaxation, self-discovery, mental clarity or even reaching a heightened state of mind or awareness. Again, none of this is necessary to be a good client. I’m just thinking of my “ideal” clients, for whom seeing me really makes a significant difference in their lives. That difference manifests in so many different ways. It gives me purpose. Making a difference fulfills me in a way that money can’t.

You really are a rare bird. It’s clear you take your profession seriously, not just as a service but as a meaningful, deeply personal exchange. The way you describe your ideal client says a lot about the kind of provider—and person—you are. It’s not just about the physical but about connection, energy, and making a real impact. That level of care and intention is rare and really admirable.

[Nightowl]

45 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

Pretty much what Jamie said. The ideal client respect ms my time, and me as a person. He maintains good hygiene, and responds to signals of when it’s time to touch (if he wants to) and when it’s time to relax. He indicates that he is enjoying my work either verbally or non verbally. He returns for more sessions. He books the session length appropriate to his needs.

My best clients refer others to me. I offer significant discounts for referrals because they are so rare and at the same time so much more valuable to me than anything else the client can do for my business.

Tipping is unnecessary, but a plus. It motivates me to go above and beyond. Clients who book more regularly I prefer much more than a one and done with a nice tip. Likewise the ideal client makes an effort to book me in their city when I am there, or when they visit mine.

Ideal clients I typically make some kind of spiritual connection with them, through the physical connection, but also through energy exchange and through conversation. Maybe that’s too woo-woo for many, but each client brings a certain energy to the table and I meet him where he is at. Ideal clients share themselves with me with honesty and vulnerability. Verbally and/or non verbally. I make myself emotionally available and present to invite that energy exchange to take place. 

So far I answered thinking of massage clients. I guess it’s somewhat different for escort sessions and combo sessions, but much of it is the same, especially the last bit about being yourself openly and honestly, being vulnerable and willing to connect on multiple levels, not just the physical. I have many great clients that primarily or only connect on a physical level, but my ideal clients connect on an emotional and spiritual level too.

For some, seeing me is a release of physical-emotional blockages (because the two are connected), profound relief and relaxation, self-discovery, mental clarity or even reaching a heightened state of mind or awareness. Again, none of this is necessary to be a good client. I’m just thinking of my “ideal” clients, for whom seeing me really makes a significant difference in their lives. That difference manifests in so many different ways. It gives me purpose. Making a difference fulfills me in a way that money can’t.

Your views are always very insightful. I appreciate the way you view your profession. 

[+ Just966]

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

You really are a rare bird. It’s clear you take your profession seriously, not just as a service but as a meaningful, deeply personal exchange. The way you describe your ideal client says a lot about the kind of provider—and person—you are. It’s not just about the physical but about connection, energy, and making a real impact. That level of care and intention is rare and really admirable.

Well put!

[Simon Suraci]

Thanks @ApexNomad. I could say the same about you!

I do truly love my job. This work is meaningful and important. Sure not every appointment is some special, deep, meaningful experience, but I have so many that are, that it keeps me going. I care about making a difference in people’s lives, in whatever weird, niche way. Society at best laughs off what I do, dismissing it as something frivolous, or at worst, decry the work as immoral. But few can fill this very special niche role in the world.

I keep a running list of client quotes that they’ve either said to me in person or texted, or said over the phone, but never shared in the form of a written public review. One of the most consistent comments or variations thereof is: “you make me feel safe”. That’s a really difficult thing to do when you think about it. I take pride and ownership over this quality, and the value my clients place on it. It’s a privilege and an honor. I approach my work with respect, knowing people choose me out of all the others to share their most intimate moments, and their deepest desires. I hold space for their most vulnerable moments in the palm of my hand.

Trust goes both ways. Some of my best clients are those who recognize that sense of safety and choose to trust me. This is where the meaningful stuff happens. They reveal parts of themselves they never felt safe to share before, even with a therapist. They find freedom to express themselves or do things in ways they can’t do elsewhere. They discover things about themselves they never knew because they finally felt safe enough to try it with me.

Those are the clients I most enjoy seeing; people that embrace the moment and use their time to be fully human, to feel alive and free. To do, and say, and feel the things they can’t in the everyday contexts of their lives. That’s profoundly valuable space for providers to hold, and likewise for clients to seek out. It’s special.

The ideal client for me is one that takes his role as seriously as I do mine. By that I don’t mean to eschew moments of humor and levity, but for the client to savor what he is hiring, to do something for himself that makes a difference in his own life. Not just another orgasm, or relaxing moment, or a trite bit of entertainment, but something that truly adds value to his life, perhaps challenges him, makes him a better man, a more whole person, even in some small way. I may not always see it, and he may not tell me so directly, but I know what I do means a lot to my ideal client. I care, and he cares, and that’s what makes the work worthwhile.

[+ ApexNomad]

15 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

One of the most consistent comments or variations thereof is: “you make me feel safe”. That’s a really difficult thing to do when you think about it. I take pride and ownership over this quality, and the value my clients place on it.

Everything you wrote is beautiful. Especially what you wrote here - this is so true! That is very difficult to do and it is something you should take enormous pride in.  Bravo to you! 👏

[+ Jamie21]

16 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

One of the most consistent comments or variations thereof is: “you make me feel safe”.

That’s it. It’s not really about massage, sex, cocks, cum or all those physical urge things people tend to think of when they think ‘sex work’. Those things happen of course but within a context that’s all about the client (a bad word but the only one that’s coming to me now) feeling approved of, desirable and safe. So many people can’t be themselves in their daily lives. The hour or so they spend with someone who approaches the work like @Simon Suracidescribes is their opportunity to be completely themselves, and to feel that that is ok and they are ok. 

I saw a client recently who told me that for years he’d been hiding his true self by playing a role that his circumstances (family, religion etc) and society had expected of him. He said he’d been working up the courage to come to me for two years since he first saw my website. Finally he’d overcome his anxiety and booked. He had scheduled a 2 hour session. I usually start those with an undressing before the client gets on the table. He wanted that so I put a blindfold on him, set the scene, snd started the undressing. 

Let’s not go into the details of how an undressing unfolds. All I’ll say is that it can be intense. My client was so overwhelmed with emotion, of the unburdening of his feelings, the release of years of repression that he suddenly collapsed in my arms. Given that he was a tall well built man all I could do was ease him to the floor with me. As we lay there, rather incongruously beneath the massage table, he took a few minutes to regain his composure and explained to me how he’d become overwhelmed by the situation and the reality of meeting himself. After a drink and a sit down more comfortably, a chat and a long cuddle he lay on the table and I proceeded with the massage. 

That client may be an extreme example, but I think he’s not so unusual. He needed to feel approved of as himself, which had never happened before because he was never really himself. For the 2 hours (at least after he’d got over the release of emotion) he was with me he could just be him, without judgement, without anxiety, without shame. He could feel accepted and approved of. If he had to go back to playing a role (and don’t we all?) then he now had the knowledge that somewhere at some time there’s the real him accessible, and that there’s nothing atall wrong with him.

Not every session is like that (I couldn’t handle the intensity!). Many  are simply ‘feel good’ massage sessions, a sexual release and a bit of ‘me time’ but a lot are the kind of session where you really help someone work something through. I like the ability to enable that for those clients. It’s beautiful. 

 

[+ ApexNomad]

55 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

That’s it. It’s not really about massage, sex, cocks, cum or all those physical urge things people tend to think of when they think ‘sex work’. Those things happen of course but within a context that’s all about the client (a bad word but the only one that’s coming to me now) feeling approved of, desirable and safe. So many people can’t be themselves in their daily lives. The hour or so they spend with someone who approaches the work like @Simon Suracidescribes is their opportunity to be completely themselves, and to feel that that is ok and they are ok. 

I saw a client recently who told me that for years he’d been hiding his true self by playing a role that his circumstances (family, religion etc) and society had expected of him. He said he’d been working up the courage to come to me for two years since he first saw my website. Finally he’d overcome his anxiety and booked. He had scheduled a 2 hour session. I usually start those with an undressing before the client gets on the table. He wanted that so I put a blindfold on him, set the scene, snd started the undressing. 

Let’s not go into the details of how an undressing unfolds. All I’ll say is that it can be intense. My client was so overwhelmed with emotion, of the unburdening of his feelings, the release of years of repression that he suddenly collapsed in my arms. Given that he was a tall well built man all I could do was ease him to the floor with me. As we lay there, rather incongruously beneath the massage table, he took a few minutes to regain his composure and explained to me how he’d become overwhelmed by the situation and the reality of meeting himself. After a drink and a sit down more comfortably, a chat and a long cuddle he lay on the table and I proceeded with the massage. 

That client may be an extreme example, but I think he’s not so unusual. He needed to feel approved of as himself, which had never happened before because he was never really himself. For the 2 hours (at least after he’d got over the release of emotion) he was with me he could just be him, without judgement, without anxiety, without shame. He could feel accepted and approved of. If he had to go back to playing a role (and don’t we all?) then he now had the knowledge that somewhere at some time there’s the real him accessible, and that there’s nothing atall wrong with him.

Not every session is like that (I couldn’t handle the intensity!). Many  are simply ‘feel good’ massage sessions, a sexual release and a bit of ‘me time’ but a lot are the kind of session where you really help someone work something through. I like the ability to enable that for those clients. It’s beautiful. 

 

You changed his life! In that moment, you changed his life. Beautiful!! Bravo to you. 

[Wings246]

I know this thread is about providers' perspectives on their ideal clients and my response may be slightly off topic.  However, as @Simon Suraci's client, I can personally attest to his statements:

On 3/12/2025 at 5:34 PM, Simon Suraci said:

seeing me really makes a significant difference in their lives

 

19 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

They discover things about themselves they never knew because they finally felt safe enough to try it with me.

I bet you I do NOT fall into the "ideal client" category, but @Simon Suraci undoubtedly is my ideal provider!

[Nightowl]

@Simon Suraci and @Jamie21 both highlighted the importance of trust and safety in their provider-client relationships. To be able to build those is a rare gift that—in my few years of experience—many providers either do not have or spend no time trying to encourage. It’s no wonder these two gentlemen love what they do and are so highly regarded by their clients.