Advice needed - dealing with a client that is crazy

[Daniel84]

Hey guys, 

I had a client that hired me for full-service. Everything went smooth except I was not willing to physically hurt him like he asked. Now he keeps texting me telling me I'm going to die ect. 

I am really starting to get worried now as he's threatening me with burner numbers. I was assuming it was just a come from doing hard drugs. This has been going on for 3 days already. He told me he was addicted to Tina for 20 years. 

What do I do?

[+ Pensant]

Call the police or get a lawyer. He’s a stalker and he’s threatening you.

[CuriousByNature]

That's horrible.  Hopefully he's just spewing nonsense due to the drugs or a personality disorder, but these days you cannot be too careful.  Trying to reason with someone who is mentally unwell usually won't bring the desired results.  I agree with @Pensant - speak to a lawyer and get proper advice.  And take good care of yourself!

[maninsoma]

I feel sorry for you.  I know an escort who also had the misfortune of having a crazy client who threatened him with various things, particularly outing him as a sex worker to his family and friends.  He ended up having to spend a considerable amount of money on a lawyer who was eventually able to get an agreement for that former client to leave him alone.  I don't remember any other details.  I'm pretty sure he never contacted the police, and unless the guy is actually threatening physical violence against you (not the suggested violence like you will be abused in prison but specific threats against you that could be carried out without any change in circumstance) I don't think contacting the police makes sense.  A good lawyer in your area would know whether it makes sense to contact law enforcement.

I would also suggest this:  while it's annoying that he's harassing you, if this has only been going on for a matter of a few days you might just want to ignore him entirely to see if it stops.  He doesn't have the authority to prosecute you unless he's actually law enforcement himself, nor does he have the power to evict you unless he's your landlord.  I'm sure he never spoke with "U.S. Attorney" and if he did obviously that person wouldn't have assured him that you would die in prison.  Honestly I'd be more worried if his threats weren't so ridiculous but were actually things he could do on his own.

[Kevin Slater]

I think your response needs to be one extreme or the other: get a lawyer and/or the police involved, or don't respond at all.  Engaging with him at any level just encourages him.  Hopefully ignoring him will cause him to move onto the next bright shiny distraction.

Kevin Slater

[Thomas_Belgium]

Yes, I agree with the replies above: get a lawyer. Do you have one?

[PileDriver]

get a lawyer...don't go to the police...take a deep breath. does he know here you live? a conundrum. 

[Daniel84]

18 minutes ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

Yes, I agree with the replies above: get a lawyer. Do you have one?

No I need to find a lawyer. I know his name, and I have his address. He doesn't know where I live 

[Thomas_Belgium]

15 minutes ago, Daniel84 said:

No I need to find a lawyer...

 

Maybe you could hire:

https://www.balif.org/Stephan_Ferris

(he was a gay porn actor).

[viewing ownly]

It is a major pain, but a relief. I'd suggest changing numbers. I've seen advertisers utilize the method of inquiring through other contact than phone, so your number stays private, but this lunatic may be too challenging to detect if he reaches out - but, maybe not. Poor grammar and triggering phrases on his end may clue you in that it's him. 

[Daniel84]

33 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

It is a major pain, but a relief. I'd suggest changing numbers. I've seen advertisers utilize the method of inquiring through other contact than phone, so your number stays private, but this lunatic may be too challenging to detect if he reaches out - but, maybe not. Poor grammar and triggering phrases on his end may clue you in that it's him. 

I actually feel sorry for him. Tina does crazy things to your brain chemistry. he told me he was addicted to it for 20 years. Your mind will never go back to what it was. 

The good thing is, he doesn’t know where I live. And safety wise I’m a double degree black belt so I can protect myself if I need too. 

 

[Kevin Slater]

1 hour ago, viewing ownly said:

It is a major pain, but a relief. I'd suggest changing numbers. I've seen advertisers utilize the method of inquiring through other contact than phone, so your number stays private, but this lunatic may be too challenging to detect if he reaches out - but, maybe not. Poor grammar and triggering phrases on his end may clue you in that it's him. 

Changing your number doesn't really work for guys who have to advertise their number.

Kevin Slater

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I'd disengage from him.  Block him on every channel he's got.

... And then find multiple ways to quietly make his life miserable.  

Please DM if you need any help.

Edited January 22 by BenjaminNicholas

[+ JamesB]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My advice is to avoid engaging with him altogether, he’ll likely lose interest and leave you alone in a few days. If he continues to persist, it’s important to consult a lawyer for guidance, especially if involving law enforcement becomes necessary.

[BonVivant]

His threats border on, or are criminal. If he does not stop: get a lawyer to communicate with him to let him know that he must cease and desist, or else next steps will be taken (eg filing a police complaint).  That should end it. 

[pubic_assistance]

6 hours ago, Kevin Slater said:

I think your response needs to be one extreme or the other: get a lawyer and/or the police involved, or don't respond at all.  Engaging with him at any level just encourages him.  Hopefully ignoring him will cause him to move onto the next bright shiny distraction.

Kevin Slater

I agree with Kevin. 

The best strategy with mentally ill people is to simply ignore them. He's looking for drama.

Hiring a lawyer will only bring more drama, not less.

As far as the police...THAT is all very specific to WHAT police we are talking about. Some precincts in some cities are quite good about domestic situations like this, while other places may make more trouble for YOU than for him.

That said...the police are better equipped to protect you than a lawyer. ( and they won't charge you a $ 3000 retainer ) If you need to go that route, what you want to do is speak to someone who specializes in domestic abuse, they could put a detective on to him and give him a scare that a lawyer won't manage with some paperwork.

Good luck.

 

[+ DrownedBoy]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I agree with Kevin. 

The best strategy with mentally ill people is to simply ignore them. He's looking for drama.

Hiring a lawyer will only bring more drama, not less.

As far as the police...THAT is all very specific to WHAT police we are talking about. Some precincts in some cities are quite good about domestic situations like this, while other places may make more trouble for YOU than for him.

That said...the police are better equipped to protect you than a lawyer. ( and they won't charge you a $ 3000 retainer ) If you need to go that route, what you want to do is speak to someone who specializes in domestic abuse, they could put a detective on to him and give him a scare that a lawyer won't manage with some paperwork.

Good luck.

 

Agree. I mentioned earlier the drug-addicted (but now sober) provider who got escorted out by security after threatening a manager and myself.

He also texted me with several different phones with angry texts.

I ignored it, blocked all further messages, and it stopped after 2 weeks.

If you can't afford an attorney, just tell the cops that the guy is crazy, that you had a hookup and now he's calling you a prostitute, etc. No officer, after reading some of the above texts, would believe a single word that guy says.