Read between the lines. Stop with the happy ending questions

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, Brocklmt said:

As a provider, i have to do what I can to keep myself safe. especially when the number is unknown and they come straight out asking for happy ending.  There ARE PLENTY OF signs to indicate what I OFFER. but I won't straight up admit to prostitution. 

Yeah right, he's not gay! 😂 

Obviously women who do massages or escort are usually more expensive. 

[d.anders]

5 hours ago, jmichaeliii said:

The one just left and sent me a text yesterday saying he still wants to meet with me as long as I still want him.

That is so nice when that happens. A great compliment to you. Thanks for sharing.

4 hours ago, Brocklmt said:

As a provider, i have to do what I can to keep myself safe.

Absolutely.

2 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

There is no perfect solution.

Very true. But smart customers know how to play the game and read the room. It's the other guys that require a lot of time and patience.

[pubic_assistance]

7 hours ago, d.anders said:

smart customers know how to play the game and read the room.

Reading the room is ( for me ) a bit of a fun game.

I rather like the will he/ won't he of an erotic massage.

I also agree with @marylander1940: when I book a massage, I expect a massage. The "erotic" part is a big unknown. Sort of like walking outside and "smelling the rain" coming. Sometimes your instincts are good and you get soaked and sometimes the rain clouds find another deep valley to dump their load in. 😉

Edited January 9 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[marylander1940]

34 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Reading the room is ( for me ) a bit of a fun game.

I rather like the will he/ won't he of an erotic massage.

I also agree with @marylander1940: when I book a massage, I expect a massage. The "erotic" part is a big unknown. Sort of like walking outside and "smelling the rain" coming. Sometimes your instincts are good and you get soakes and sometimes the rain clouds find another deep valley to dump their load in. 😉

and 

[Archangel]

[Archangel]

I’m so fucking over communication games. With escorts. With work. With friends. With friends. 🛑 stop ✋ 

[CuriousByNature]

1 hour ago, Archangel said:

I’m so fucking over communication games. With escorts. With work. With friends. With friends. 🛑 stop ✋ 

By reading between the lines I can see that you're upset. 

 

[d.anders]

8 hours ago, Archangel said:

I’m so fucking over communication games.

They can be very frustrating. Sometimes you just have to give the game a rest, and maybe re-visit it later. That's what I've always done.

12 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I rather like the will he/ won't he of an erotic massage.

Me too. I always book for massage. That is my history. If sex ever happened (and it did many times), it was always a welcome surprise. If sex was that important to me, then maybe I would have looked at escorts. Frankly, I never had difficulty finding free sex, so hiring an escort didn't really enter my thought process.

[maninsoma]

I appreciate Simon Suraci's post since he sees the big picture, not just a one sided "why don't other people do what I want?" point of view.

I get how irritating it can be for providers.  Customers who flake.  Customers who expect more than is reasonable for the rate charged (i.e., want a full service escort at an erotic massage rate).  Customers who lack basic social skills.

On the flip side, it isn't like clients are always treated fairly or with respect.  I "read between the lines" once on a Rentmasseur ad.  The ad was so over-the-top in its wording, things along the lines of "I will give you a hard and deep massage with every part of my body."  One would have had to be completely naive or stupid to not "read between the lines" of that ad to assume that the massage would be very erotic indeed, and his rate was at the top end of masseurs in my area at the time.  Guess what happened during my appointment?  Nothing erotic at all.  The guy never even took off his tank top, did not allow me to touch him, and avoided touching any area near my genitals.  Had I wanted a strictly therapeutic massage I would have looked for that and paid half his rate.  I definitely felt ripped off, and I know this guy knew what he was doing -- being overly suggestive in ad text and photos in order to lure clients into paying his high rate, and then under-delivering at least for some people.  It bothered me so much that the next guy I reached out to I basically wrote a summary of my previous disappointment and indicated I was looking for something more erotic than that.  I still didn't ask the guy to be explicit about what he would do, but he replied with an assurance that he was more engaging than that and that I wouldn't be disappointed.  He lived up to his word.

In summary, most guys have offered service consistent with how they presented themselves in their ads but there have been a few here and there whom I viewed as outright con men.  So, if you're a provider, try not to be too upset when someone is trying to clarify in advance more about what they can expect if they hire you.  I get that starting an exchange with "do you provide a happy ending" is tacky and I'm not suggesting that you should even bother to reply to someone like that.  But if someone knows how to have a more nuanced conversation, don't be mad just because they want a bit more clarity about what you are offering.

[StarQualityLuke]

2 hours ago, maninsoma said:

I appreciate Simon Suraci's post since he sees the big picture, not just a one sided "why don't other people do what I want?" point of view.

I get how irritating it can be for providers.  Customers who flake.  Customers who expect more than is reasonable for the rate charged (i.e., want a full service escort at an erotic massage rate).  Customers who lack basic social skills.

On the flip side, it isn't like clients are always treated fairly or with respect.  I "read between the lines" once on a Rentmasseur ad.  The ad was so over-the-top in its wording, things along the lines of "I will give you a hard and deep massage with every part of my body."  One would have had to be completely naive or stupid to not "read between the lines" of that ad to assume that the massage would be very erotic indeed, and his rate was at the top end of masseurs in my area at the time.  Guess what happened during my appointment?  Nothing erotic at all.  The guy never even took off his tank top, did not allow me to touch him, and avoided touching any area near my genitals.  Had I wanted a strictly therapeutic massage I would have looked for that and paid half his rate.  I definitely felt ripped off, and I know this guy knew what he was doing -- being overly suggestive in ad text and photos in order to lure clients into paying his high rate, and then under-delivering at least for some people.  It bothered me so much that the next guy I reached out to I basically wrote a summary of my previous disappointment and indicated I was looking for something more erotic than that.  I still didn't ask the guy to be explicit about what he would do, but he replied with an assurance that he was more engaging than that and that I wouldn't be disappointed.  He lived up to his word.

In summary, most guys have offered service consistent with how they presented themselves in their ads but there have been a few here and there whom I viewed as outright con men.  So, if you're a provider, try not to be too upset when someone is trying to clarify in advance more about what they can expect if they hire you.  I get that starting an exchange with "do you provide a happy ending" is tacky and I'm not suggesting that you should even bother to reply to someone like that.  But if someone knows how to have a more nuanced conversation, don't be mad just because they want a bit more clarity about what you are offering.

This was said perfectly. 

I always welcome conversation and getting to know you, ask any and all questions etc.  Be on the same page. 

[Simon Suraci]

@maninsoma Thanks for sharing. By and large, a lot of providers are delivering high quality service in line with what they are advertising (wherever on the spectrum they fall). When you’re unsure, you can find plenty of excellent recommendations right here on the forums. That frees clients up from having to initiate any form of the awkward “erotic services” discussion whether they be blunt or subtle about it. The best case is knowing what is reasonably in the range of what to expect so you don’t even need to have that part of the conversation at all!

You won’t always have intel from these boards or a personal referral to go on. Sometimes you’re hiring someone you have no idea if he will deliver what you want. I think it’s perfectly ok to ask, whether you be subtle or blunt, but also it’s reasonable for a provider to avoid clients asking them to put their livelihood at risk. There is no right way to go about it.

Live and learn. Calculate the level of risk you’re willing to take on a new guy and take the plunge. Worst case scenario is you lose a little money and don’t hire him again. Best case, you find some really good men this way and enjoy hiring them over and over. You have a lot more to gain, I think, in the long run, by tolerating a little bit of uncertainty up front.