Giving BJ

[Erbenle]

1 hour ago, jazeboy said:

I think that ship has sailed

I think I asked the wrong question / asked the question wrongly ... and have now made a fool of myself. I'll bow out of this conversation with the little grace I have left. I hope I can take part in future conversations on here without prejudice.

Thanks all for your responses.

Oh, don’t do that. You’re fine. One thing I’ve learned about this site is that we’re all here for a common goal, we all have some questions we’d like answered, and a lot of people will respond. Just know how to filter those responses towards what you really asked. My suggestion is for you to re-ask your question right now so that you can get the answer that you really want.
 

So with grace, start over…what’s your question (there’s no wrong question).

[pubic_assistance]

11 hours ago, jazeboy said:

I hope I can take part in future conversations on here without prejudice.

There's no prejudice here about making mistakes. So no reason to be silent.

[ReynST]

On 11/5/2024 at 5:32 AM, jazeboy said:

Thanks everyone for your responses

 

Maybe another way of asking my question is: would it be okay if I called him up and said "Hey, I'm in your neighborhood. Fancy a BJ?"

I think if he messages you first saying someone like "You give amazing head! I would love to experience that mouth again."

You could consider that maybe he doesn't get as great head from his other clients and that he'd be open to charging you less. If he's never sent you that message or something similar, I'd recommend not reaching towards any conclusions.

[Nightowl]

If I end up sucking his dick it’s because I want to.  I don’t recall ever going limp or losing interest when I’ve got a dick in my mouth.  I’m paying for an erotic experience.  Giving someone else pleasure is part of it.  If I can make him cum, I go away happy because I know he was into it too.  When the masseur is as aroused as I am and I can satisfy him, it’s worth whatever I paid.  If all I get is an HE and he remains limp and disinterested, I probably won’t go back.  Making the masseur cum is one of my goals.😀

[Mk27]

Yes you such a stud that the pro you hired now begging you for more   Maybe you should ask him to pay you ?    List yourself on rent men.  See how it goes for you   SMH

[BrooklynIrish]

On 11/2/2024 at 8:29 PM, ApexNomad said:

I understand what you’re saying, and I’m sure it was a honest opinion. However, I think it’s incumbent on the provider, as the professional, to keep those “inner voice” comments to themselves. Saying something like that really does nothing for the client—except maybe offer a sense of false hope that the dynamic could change. And in this case, the comment is particularly odd, since we were already intimate. Should I feel flattered that you might have talked to me if we’d met under different circumstances, when, in reality, we’ll never know because this was a professional, paid encounter?

I have a different take on this, which I think boils down to: do you hire for convenience or do you hire to have sex with men you believe would not be interested in without payment? I mostly fall into the former category. I'm not hanging out at bars or clubs much anymore. I don't drink or do drugs. My job is very demanding. And I have disposable income. So when I hire, I do so because I do not want to spend 2-3 hours on Grindr being approached by guys I'm not interested in or rejected by guys I am. So when a masseur I see regularly compliments my oral skills or notices I'm fitter than when he last saw me, I take the compliment. I also tend to hire guys closer to my age (late 30s to 40s) and more conventionally attractive (e.g., not ripped, not with 11 inches, etc). 

Now, if I were hiring a 25-year-old who is 6'2" with an eight-pack, who has an active OF where he fucks similar guys, I would probably feel like this guy is shining me on if he compliments me. 

But clients also have to maintain that they are hiring a professional. I have specific skills that sometimes provide pro bono to some friends and organizations. But I'm also regularly approached by people who want my services for free. That doesn't feel good to me. But I've also taken jobs where I might say, "This is so much fun or energizing that I'd do it for free." A provider saying they MIGHT have approached you off the clock is saying the same thing. They're enjoying their time with you, which is excellent, but that doesn't mean you've suddenly stopped being a client. Take the compliment and enjoy it, but understand it doesn't change the dynamic of your relationship. 

[BrooklynIrish]

On 11/8/2024 at 11:49 AM, jazeboy said:

I think that ship has sailed

I think I asked the wrong question / asked the question wrongly ... and have now made a fool of myself. I'll bow out of this conversation with the little grace I have left. I hope I can take part in future conversations on here without prejudice.

Thanks all for your responses.

I agree with others who've noted you've not humiliated yourself. You asked a question as a relative novice and gotten a lot of feedback from more experienced clients. Take the wisdom and let is help shape your approach. 

[+ ApexNomad]

26 minutes ago, BrooklynIrish said:

I have a different take on this, which I think boils down to: do you hire for convenience or do you hire to have sex with men you believe would not be interested in without payment? I mostly fall into the former category. I'm not hanging out at bars or clubs much anymore. I don't drink or do drugs. My job is very demanding. And I have disposable income. So when I hire, I do so because I do not want to spend 2-3 hours on Grindr being approached by guys I'm not interested in or rejected by guys I am. So when a masseur I see regularly compliments my oral skills or notices I'm fitter than when he last saw me, I take the compliment. I also tend to hire guys closer to my age (late 30s to 40s) and more conventionally attractive (e.g., not ripped, not with 11 inches, etc). 

Now, if I were hiring a 25-year-old who is 6'2" with an eight-pack, who has an active OF where he fucks similar guys, I would probably feel like this guy is shining me on if he compliments me. 

But clients also have to maintain that they are hiring a professional. I have specific skills that sometimes provide pro bono to some friends and organizations. But I'm also regularly approached by people who want my services for free. That doesn't feel good to me. But I've also taken jobs where I might say, "This is so much fun or energizing that I'd do it for free." A provider saying they MIGHT have approached you off the clock is saying the same thing. They're enjoying their time with you, which is excellent, but that doesn't mean you've suddenly stopped being a client. Take the compliment and enjoy it, but understand it doesn't change the dynamic of your relationship. 

I think there’s a difference in acknowledging someone’s enjoyment of the time together versus suggesting something outside the established dynamic. When a provider says something like, “I would have talked to you if circumstances were different,” it can be a bit misleading, especially when it implies that the interaction could have evolved into something more if the setting were altered. That’s where I’d want to draw a line—there’s a risk of blurring the professional boundaries, which can create confusion.

You’re absolutely right that when hiring a provider, it’s essential to understand that you’re hiring a professional. And so with that professionalism comes the expectation that the boundaries of the paid encounter will be respected, without the suggestion of something more. A professional should be able to keep the experience grounded in the established dynamic, which is why it’s important for both the provider and client to maintain that clarity. The moment those boundaries start to blur like with hypothetical “what ifs” it can create confusion. Compliments are fine and enjoyable if they stay within the scope of the paid arrangement.

I get the analogy about cases, but comparing that to a comment made after we’ve just had sex is a different ballgame. Once intimacy is involved, it’s about real emotions, and those boundaries need to be respected.