Dear clients, would you rather hire a bisexual or gay provider?

[DavidShaw]

Gay. hands down. I got a massage at a m4m place in New York City, and read in the reviews that one of the brothers was straight who ran the place. I end up getting him and.. the fake attitude was a total turn off. I don't want to be manipulated by a straight guy and that's what it felt like. If the provider was bi or gay, I would be more comfortable but.. how would anyone know?

 

 

[DWnyc]

So let me ask again - why did the OP pose the basic question in this thread?

Market research?

Or if he finds most of his clients assume he’s straight what does that mean to them given they seek him out (that’s his sex life of choice outside work and he happens to be doing this because it’s a job, or that he is guaranteed to be dismissive or insulting once the session begins etc) 

And why does he think most of his clients assume he’s straight? Reacting to something deliberate on his part? Or not doing something to correct a perception (but again based on what)?

The provider-client interaction is almost always an act on part of the provider (and the better he is or wants to be, the client may even leave thinking at least part of it wasn’t) - so the supposed straight man can pretend to be into it (we’ve all seen the porn on the straight guys who discover the joy of being with men, or find their bills being taken care of justify showing they enjoy gay sex whether or not this is sincere etc). Or he can exaggerate or make up condescension  (“you can’t get a girl … you’re not a real man …” type stuff) and downright humiliation even violence.
 

Or as some have expressed here - it can be irrelevant and he just follows instructions and leaves the client with what he wants - and that’s no one’s business but theirs. 

Edited April 23 by DWnyc

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

6 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

So let me ask again - why did the OP pose the basic question in this thread?

Market research?

.

Agree 100%

BTC

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

4 hours ago, DWnyc said:

So let me ask again - why did the OP pose the basic question in this thread?

Market research?

OP said in his question that he wanted to know what orientation would generate interest from the greatest number of clients. OP is having a tough time drumming up business with no kissing, no bottoming, and charging $350/hour.  He wants to know if changing his advertised sexual orientation would attract more customers willing to pay the price for the company he offers.

Consensus on the replies is that changing his advertised orientation to "straight" is likely not the solution.

[+ APPLE1]

On 4/19/2024 at 7:26 AM, DrownedBoy said:

looking for straight and "straight acting" men was a sign of internalized homophobia.

In order to accept the concept of "straight acting" translating into internalized homophobia, I feel like a definition is required for "straight acting."

For example, if the term is simply applied to gay men who engage in what society has traditionally regarded as "manly pursuits," and gay man #1 may prefer to watch football and surround himself with other guys who have the same interest, I see no issues.

On the other hand, if gay man #2 enjoys the traditional "manly pursuits," AND is vehemently opposed to gay men watching Drag Race, or traditional "feminine pursuits" because it somehow tarnishes the world view of gay men, that's a problem.

I can certainly accept the idea the #2 may have internalized homophobia. However, I see no evidence of internalized homophobia with #1.

I am not saying anyone here defines "straight acting" based on the above example, but I do think some basic parameters of the phrase's definition are important if "straight acting" is to be linked to "internal homophobia."

[socurious]

8 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

OP said in his question that he wanted to know what orientation would generate interest from the greatest number of clients. OP is having a tough time drumming up business with no kissing, no bottoming, and charging $350/hour.  He wants to know if changing his advertised sexual orientation would attract more customers willing to pay the price for the company he offers.

Consensus on the replies is that changing his advertised orientation to "straight" is likely not the solution.

I have "bi" in my profile and used to have "gay" and "ask me" before. I would never change it to "straight" because I'm simply not straight. I used to identify as "bi" at some point in my life but that was probably me being funny. I think you are assumming. That's not cute. 

Half of the escorts in the business do not kiss. I don't know what's surprising about it. Escorts are entitled to have their limitations. Why would I bottom? I've never bottomed in my life.

[socurious]

12 hours ago, DWnyc said:

So let me ask again - why did the OP pose the basic question in this thread?

Market research?

12 hours ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

Agree 100%

BTC

Would that be a problem if it was market research? I don't think so. 

I think some people assumme I'm straight because of the way I carry myself. Even some of my gay friends at first told me I was supposedly "too suave" to be gay. Whatever that means. I personally think it has something to do with my New York urban Latino swagger. I absorbed it unconsciously. 

[pubic_assistance]

In spite of all the (ridiculous) calls of "homophobia" above, there is definitely a market for str8 tops.

The fine line is in spelling.

"Straight" is a fantasy. If you were actually straight you're not fucking random men up the ass.

"Str8" is commonly understood as straight-ACTING Which you seem to believe is your "look".

I definitely prefer a straight-acting man who's into men. Effeminate men are (sexually) repugnant to me. Not interested in the opinions about why...it just IS.  So when I'm slapping down my hard-earned ca$h I want what I want. And if that's a provider to pretend one of those hot straight boys from college I used to drool over, is letting me service him...then that's my business and a good marketing strategy to any provider who can pull it off.

Plenty of men here pay for the illusion of intimacy when they clamoring for a "good kisser". Obviously their provider isn't actually in love with them. So if you are selling the illusion that you're leaning straight I don't see the difference in selling a fantasy.

Edited April 24 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[DWnyc]

9 hours ago, socurious said:

I think some people assumme I'm straight because of the way I carry myself. Even some of my gay friends at first told me I was supposedly "too suave" to be gay. Whatever that means. I personally think it has something to do with my New York urban Latino swagger. I absorbed it unconsciously. 

Not only market research but also marketing! 

[DWnyc]

16 hours ago, socurious said:

Half of the escorts in the business do not kiss. I don't know what's surprising about it. Escorts are entitled to have their limitations

What’s surprising may be that-  if your numbers are correct - they don’t actually disclose that fully. And then they still expect to be paid on the basis of vague descriptions of service or claiming the payment is for time rather than anything specific.

No problem if everything is really fully disclosed. But it often isn’t. Many providers don’t hide that they are intentionally vague and openly mock those they can lure in.:

[socurious]

13 hours ago, DWnyc said:

What’s surprising may be that-  if your numbers are correct - they don’t actually disclose that fully. And then they still expect to be paid on the basis of vague descriptions of service or claiming the payment is for time rather than anything specific.

No problem if everything is really fully disclosed. But it often isn’t. Many providers don’t hide that they are intentionally vague and openly mock those they can lure in.:

Well, I do. It's also in my profile. 

Edited April 25 by socurious

[socurious]

6 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Not only market research but also marketing! 

If it gives you an idea, I've been profiled by gay dudes lol. As I got older it doesn't happen as much anymore though.

There was one time this hot porn actor and I met on Grindr while I was visiting L. A. and we decided to hook up. He didn't believe I was gay at first. Long story. I think there is a line between straight-acting and masculine. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

There's a long history of gay guys preferring to be with other gay guys.  Here's a thread started by a guy who was worried that he is too straight looking, and that's why he couldn't hookup with other gay men  but only a few times per year.

 

 

 

[socurious]

4 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

There's a long history of gay guys preferring to be with other gay guys.  Here's a thread started by a guy who was worried that he is too straight looking, and that's why he couldn't hookup with other gay men  but only a few times per year.

 

 

 

That thread is from 7 years ago. I was naive and unexperienced as hell and to a large extent closeted. 

Interesting. I truly forgot about it.