viewing ownly Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 There could be a multitude of explanations that one takes that off the menu of options. What I've found to be the most common reason is that they have a live-in boyfriend and save that level of intimacy for their partner. When I'm looking, seeing erotic listed is vital for my choice, but I'm at a loss as to what to do when that is no longer listed, but I know that it used to be. For some, it's a matter of private discussion for a larger pre-determined amount than a standard massage. Being teased and denied a sensual experience, at a minimum, when that's the whole reason that you've chosen the guy you're seeing over others, is flustering. It makes me personally second guess what I did wrong, not what they did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ robear Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 As is often discussed, "sensual" and "erotic" are vague terms that can mean many different things in practice. An advertiser might change his ad for lots of reasons, including managing expectations of prospective clients. However, if you're an experienced client with a provider, and the service provided has changed, why not simply ask? It seems a case where actual communication would be better than assuming or making up stories about what has happened, there could be erroneous assumptions on both sides. An honest exchange might either improve your relationship with the provider, or allow you decide not to come back to him. Johnrom, Simon Suraci, Shawn Monroe and 2 others 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Might it be to minimize the targeting for a vice sting? Whippoorwill, marylander1940 and Johnrom 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ DynamicUno Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 (edited) If a massage provider decides to take certain options off the table, you can decide to take your business elsewhere or continue under the new arrangement. If you were a previous customer you could ask if erotic was still available for you or not, but realize their reasons are their own. Whether the provider's reasons are for personal relationships or something else IS. NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS. You're paying for a rub and maybe a tug, not a right to their personal life beyond what they choose to share. Edited March 24 by DynamicUno Simon Suraci, rvwnsd, TorontoDrew and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesB Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 If any of my usual providers altered their menu offerings, I'd simply inquire about the impact on the service I typically receive from them. Assuming motives behind their actions isn't typically the most effective approach. Directly asking them is the way to go. If the changes don't affect you, that's fantastic. If they do, it's best to move on. Whippoorwill and Simon Suraci 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whippoorwill Posted March 24 Share Posted March 24 Three different experiences with three different masseurs over the years. 1) Excellent masseur who I had been seeing for several years for erotic massages. One time I called up for an appointment, and he said something like: "I have to tell you I am in therapy and my therapist and I have agreed I am not doing erotic massages any more, just therapeutic. If you don't want to see me anymore that is absolutely fine, and I can even recommend someone else who is very good and does erotic massages." I said that was fine, that I was happy to get his excellent therapeutic massages. I got two or three strictly therapeutic massages, and then he was back to full service. He simply needed to know that at least some people valued him for his massage skills, and not just sex...that he was regarded as a professional masseur not an escort. When he saw that was true, he and his therapist were fine with him doing erotic massages. 2) Another excellent regular, who only advertised therapeutic and sensual, not erotic. After my first massage that ended with a HE, I said I would write a review. He said "Please only say sensual, not erotic. I am here on a student visa and have a government scholarship, and I don't want to jeopardize them." He was from a country with different laws and societal expectations. Fair enough. I assume most if not all of his clients got the full service. He just needed to feel safe. 3) Yet another excellent regular from another country, whose every massage was "therapeutic, sensual and erotic" in his own words. One time as I was leaving he got a text from a former client who wanted to stop by for 10 minutes for a BJ. For language-skill reasons, he asked me to check his reply, which was "No I will not do that. I prefer to do massage." Again, he needed to feel that clients are coming to see him for his professional massage skills, not only for sex, even though every massage includes sexual acts. Life is complicated and human beings are complicated. We all rationalize some things that may not be rational on the surface. What is important is for everyone to appreciate that understanding, direct honest communication and empathy go a long way. That being said, at some point this masseur acquired a live-in boyfriend, who was living off the masseur's income, and then complaining about the source of the money. One day I arrived and the masseur said that the bf didn't like him doing massages in the nude, that he was leaving his bikini underwear on. I said that was nuts...that the bf was living off the income from the sexual services, was ok or at least resigned to the erotic massages, but wanted his bf to hide the family jewels? I said, "Just tell him you're leaving the bikini on when you are with a client, and then do what you want. You don't have to tell your bf everything...everyone has secrets." He said, "I can? Oh wow. I didn't know I could do that." Off came the bikini and he happily continues to provide the nude interactive services as before. Ah, an inexperienced youth. Simon Suraci, + DynamicUno, Johnrom and 3 others 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soloyo215 Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 On 3/24/2024 at 2:25 AM, viewing ownly said: There could be a multitude of explanations that one takes that off the menu of options. What I've found to be the most common reason is that they have a live-in boyfriend and save that level of intimacy for their partner. When I'm looking, seeing erotic listed is vital for my choice, but I'm at a loss as to what to do when that is no longer listed, but I know that it used to be. For some, it's a matter of private discussion for a larger pre-determined amount than a standard massage. Being teased and denied a sensual experience, at a minimum, when that's the whole reason that you've chosen the guy you're seeing over others, is flustering. It makes me personally second guess what I did wrong, not what they did. Ask. It's the best way of having clarity. I have seen providers who have actually done the opposite. They removed therapeutic from their options. I think it's ok to inquire, especially since there has been a change in their profile. Nothing wrong with inquiring for clarification. Whippoorwill and Simon Suraci 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 On 3/24/2024 at 2:25 AM, viewing ownly said: There could be a multitude of explanations that one takes that off the menu of options. What I've found to be the most common reason is that they have a live-in boyfriend and save that level of intimacy for their partner. When I'm looking, seeing erotic listed is vital for my choice, but I'm at a loss as to what to do when that is no longer listed, but I know that it used to be. For some, it's a matter of private discussion for a larger pre-determined amount than a standard massage. Being teased and denied a sensual experience, at a minimum, when that's the whole reason that you've chosen the guy you're seeing over others, is flustering. It makes me personally second guess what I did wrong, not what they did. you can always ask what kind of HE is he offering, whether that depends on chemistry, looks, age, or body type of the client, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 On 3/24/2024 at 9:17 AM, DynamicUno said: If a massage provider decides to take certain options off the table, you can decide to take your business elsewhere or continue under the new arrangement. If you were a previous customer you could ask if erotic was still available for you or not, but realize their reasons are their own. Whether the provider's reasons are for personal relationships or something else IS. NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS. You're paying for a rub and maybe a tug, not a right to their personal life beyond what they choose to share. Agreed but something change in the provider's life and he's no longer to offer sex at the end of the massage to a client who he already sucked/jerked off or even more HE should say upfront. "By the way I no longer do X, Y, and Z". Whippoorwill 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 On 3/24/2024 at 8:45 AM, sync said: Might it be to minimize the targeting for a vice sting? Agreed but HOW often does that happen and I've only heard of a couple of cities where that has happened to providers who post on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Hagen Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 (edited) Or...you could hire consistently well-reviewed escorts who also give professional massages; save yourself a whole lot of flusteration. Edited March 25 by Rod Hagen Simon Suraci, Whippoorwill, MikeBiDude and 3 others 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 10 hours ago, marylander1940 said: Agreed but HOW often does that happen and I've only heard of a couple of cities where that has happened to providers who post on here. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Johnrom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 (edited) 2 hours ago, sync said: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Please tell me the last time we had credible news of a sting operation focused in RM. Please don't bring up that highway motel raid from BP about guys hiring women. Edited March 26 by marylander1940 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 14 hours ago, marylander1940 said: Please tell me the last time we had credible news of a sting operation focused in RM. Please don't bring up that highway motel raid from BP about guys hiring women. Are you advised of every RM sting operation? DWnyc and Johnrom 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 9 minutes ago, sync said: Are you advised of every RM sting operation? inform me/us about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 (edited) 1 minute ago, marylander1940 said: inform me/us about them. Whom is it that informs you/us about them? Edited March 26 by sync marylander1940 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 17 hours ago, sync said: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Are you saying masseurs are removing the erotic part of their ads because they don't want to get caught by the police? That's what I understood. 35 minutes ago, sync said: Are you advised of every RM sting operation? Are you trying to say we should have a section of his forum to warn each other about them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 1 hour ago, marylander1940 said: Are you saying masseurs are removing the erotic part of their ads because they don't want to get caught by the police? That's what I understood. Are you trying to say we should have a section of his forum to warn each other about them? Not at all. Per my original posting, I'm saying some providers might be removing the erotic part of their ads to minimize the targeting for a vice sting. Johnrom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 48 minutes ago, sync said: Not at all. Per my original posting, I'm saying some providers might be removing the erotic part of their ads to minimize the targeting for a vice sting. as I told you before. How often does that happen except in Vegas? I've never heard of a legitimate sting operation targeting gay men on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 I don't understand your confusion or your point. Vice sting operations do happen, and if/when they do happen to RM or COM participants it's unlikely every instance would be openly shared. MikeBiDude and Johnrom 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 1 hour ago, sync said: I don't understand your confusion or your point. Vice sting operations do happen, and if/when they do happen to RM or COM participants it's unlikely every instance would be openly shared. I'm not confused. I've never about credible sting operations on here. Several providers have been caught in Vegas and I know many who don't travel there at all for that reason. Johnrom, viewing ownly and + APPLE1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 16 minutes ago, marylander1940 said: I'm not confused. I've never about credible sting operations on here. Several providers have been caught in Vegas and I know many who don't travel there at all for that reason. Wow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ DrownedBoy Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 On 3/26/2024 at 3:40 PM, marylander1940 said: I'm not confused. I've never about credible sting operations on here. Several providers have been caught in Vegas and I know many who don't travel there at all for that reason. Cops often use the Grindr app to entrap gay men for "prostitution." There was that uproar after those Georgia police arrested gay men back in 2020 over Grindr, and charged with prostitution because they offered a smoke to the cop (which they claimed was payment for sex 🙄) I honestly don't know why cops put fake profiles on Grindr to catch johns when there's more accessible sites. Best guess is that the police closet cases are already using it to hire. Whippoorwill and marylander1940 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DWnyc Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said: Cops often use the Grindr app to entrap gay men for "prostitution." In more than one of these cases I’m pretty sure specific individuals were targeted using the location feature - so someone already on some kind of list was lured into a trap where they generate evidence to use against them, rather than it being a general trap for anyone unlucky to engage with the cop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ DrownedBoy Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 On 3/27/2024 at 7:47 PM, DWnyc said: In more than one of these cases I’m pretty sure specific individuals were targeted To some cops, all gay men fall into the "specific individuals" category. Especially in the red states where they do it. It's no different than when cops raided gay bars. They just find another justification to get rid of gays. DWnyc 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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