Kindness

[PileDriver]

Not sure this is the right location for this. Kindness. Simple but often absent. A give and take. Maybe the provider has to cancel last second. Or the client has to do the same. Or if the meeting occurs there is an understanding if one or the other has a performance issue, a cleanliness issue, an expectations issue, etc. that the two can kindly extend to  each other understanding and respect. And so on. Personally have experienced a dramatic decrease in kindness with potential providers in the last year. But fortunately have a stable of stable kind men/boys I can depend on. Give and take. Thoughts?

[Guest]

It's absolutely in the right place! We can never be too kind to one another. 🥰 Thank you for posting! It's a great reminder for  all of us 😁

Edited December 7, 2023 by Vin_Marco

[+ DynamicUno]

I would say it's mutual consideration and respect, i.e thoughtfulness and sensitivity towards the other person.  This is beyond the mere transactional aspect of an appointment, but consideration for each other's time and respecting each other as a person.  Promptness, hygiene, communication, discretion all follow from that principal.

[PileDriver]

communication. as a New Yorker I get the need for delays in arrival time or the need to cancel at the last moment...but when a slight deviation occurs and either party goes ballistic, not cool....

[MikePDNA51]

Respect everyone’s time. Some masseurs are more diminate because their clients want them to be? Assume client wants a dominate guy who can take complete control then masseur would need to balance dominate, force, and kindness. 
 

In BDSM it is possible to understand sub while being kind

[soloyo215]

I am mindful and respectful to people, period. Yes, especially now, rudeness and nastiness seem to be the way of living for many people, including providers and clients. I agree that it is a give an take in the interpersonal too. Even in my bad experiences I've remained calm and collected, and have ended a session politely. When things don't work out, they just don't work out. Getting or giving attitude about it doesn't do anything if making things unsavory when they don't need to be.

When some of the logistics don't work out, patience.

 

[Simon Suraci]

19 hours ago, MikePDNA51 said:

In BDSM it is possible to understand sub while being kind

Agree 👍 

This is how I operate as a dom

[BuffaloKyle]

 

[BuffaloKyle]

 

[MikePDNA51]

We are all saying the same thing.  Two way process, respect everyone, and just understand chemistry between two people. 

[ICTJOCK]

Important to keep "kindness"  a part of the mix.    Being flexible shows reason.  It is a two way street and shouldn't be just a holiday thing.   I have much kindness shown me by clients and they deserve the same  (and not just at the holidays).    

[jmichaeliii]

Totally agree.  I have a provider I go to regularly, and one of the main reasons is the mutual respect and kindness we have toward one another.  I understand the business part of the equation, but I respect and acknowledge how much I appreciate his service, and in return I always feel amazing at the end of a session.  We come from very different backgrounds, but consider each other to be friends.

[CuriousByNature]

In any interaction with anybody I don't think you can go wrong by treating others the way you would like to be treated yourself.  Unless you're a masochist.  LOL

Edited December 19, 2023 by CuriousByNature

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

Just now, arnemgreeves said:

Does a grocery store worker or customer deserve more respect? Seems like an odd question IMHO, since they both have stakes in the transaction. 

Or in this case, they both have steaks 🥩 in the transaction

(I couldn't help myself)

 

 

[soloyo215]

On 12/7/2023 at 12:17 PM, PileDriver said:

Not sure this is the right location for this. Kindness. Simple but often absent. A give and take. Maybe the provider has to cancel last second. Or the client has to do the same. Or if the meeting occurs there is an understanding if one or the other has a performance issue, a cleanliness issue, an expectations issue, etc. that the two can kindly extend to  each other understanding and respect. And so on. Personally have experienced a dramatic decrease in kindness with potential providers in the last year. But fortunately have a stable of stable kind men/boys I can depend on. Give and take. Thoughts?

Just my thoughts.

In all honesty, lack of kindness has been a constant in the gay community. For decades, I have witnessed some gay men treating each other like garbage for no reason. I see men trashing and assasinating the character of fellow gay men just for pleasure. That's not a new thing.

In the provider world, kindness has been one of the needs that they fulfill for clients. However, if you look around the society where we live in today, seems like common courtesy and kindness are less and less. I think that it's a reflection of how we are living today (overall). Also, some providers do have an attitude of looking down on clients; they seem to think of clients as these "losers that need to pay to get some". Also, there's a difference in the way the newer generation communicates. What some of us in the older generation might find off-putting, to them it might be just communication. We do have to factor the fact that the way the newer generation views the world is different.

The good thing is that those unkind providers can be weeded out since there are way more options available. When I encounter attitude or lack of courtesy, I just move on. Like the subway, there's always a next.

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 12/29/2023 at 8:13 AM, soloyo215 said:

Also, some providers do have an attitude of looking down on clients; they seem to think of clients as these "losers that need to pay to get some"

Likewise,  a client can look down as a provider as "lazy guy who insists on big bucks for unskilled labor."

When one side gets arrogant, expect the other side to put their shields up. Tit for tat.

Being polite at the beginning stops that. I prefer business relationships that don't become a battle of wills....because the guy with the money always wins, and some kids don't realize that yet.

[jmichaeliii]

42 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Likewise,  a client can look down as a provider as "lazy guy who insists on big bucks for unskilled labor."

When one side gets arrogant, expect the other side to put their shields up. Tit for tat.

Being polite at the beginning stops that. I prefer business relationships that don't become a battle of wills....because the guy with the money always wins, and some kids don't realize that yet.

And if it gets to this point, it's best for both parties to move on.  I can't see from either side how you can have a good time if there is animosity of some type in the relationship.  I have guys I go to regularly because, one they are really good, but also because we have a polite and friendly relationship with one another.  I have had some that were jerks from the very first message, and if that happens, I don't bother going any further with them.

[soloyo215]

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

Likewise,  a client can look down as a provider as "lazy guy who insists on big bucks for unskilled labor."

When one side gets arrogant, expect the other side to put their shields up. Tit for tat.

Being polite at the beginning stops that. I prefer business relationships that don't become a battle of wills....because the guy with the money always wins, and some kids don't realize that yet.

I actually wrote something similar that makes your point, and then removed if for some reason. I completely agree. The look/talk-down attitude can be displayed from either side. In fact, something that sometimes I wonder is how providers deal with clients who try or actually make them feel cheap, or those who display a mistreating attitude, maybe become verbally abusive.

And yes, things go smoother with kindness and politeness from either way. And I also endorse the other side shielding themselves the moment they get (or perceive) the wrong attitude.

[+ DrownedBoy]

6 hours ago, jmichaeliii said:

And if it gets to this point, it's best for both parties to move on.  I can't see from either side how you can have a good time if there is animosity of some type in the relationship.  I have guys I go to regularly because, one they are really good, but also because we have a polite and friendly relationship with one another.  I have had some that were jerks from the very first message, and if that happens, I don't bother going any further with them.

Luckily, with many "premium" providers, they show their (negative) personality in a few of the opening texts. Saves us both a lot of wasted time.