What to do when positive recommendation turn out wrong

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Thelatin said:

Having been around my guess would be he’s tired of the job and turned to some sort of SSRI - his brain checked out. 

That could very well be the case. 

[LaffingBear]

I'm  in agreement with those who would have paid a courtesy fee to have him depart... no way I'd have paid full fee for services/agreed upon time not provided

No way of knowing, but it's a little interesting to speculate whether offering partial payment might have elicited a more animated response., ie.,  snapped him out of it.

Sorry that happened to you.  

[Simon Suraci]

If you discussed doing certain activities and you didn’t do them after asking in person for him to follow through, I would offer a partial payment and wish him well. Sounds like he was really going through something. We all have off days.

An honest review won’t tarnish his reputation. If he has many satisfied reviewers, that will all outweigh his off day, but also show his audience that he’s a human and not perfect 100% of the time. That’s ok. 

Also, it’s easy to lose good judgment when in the presence of a fantasy guy. I got a massage in Dallas once from a well reviewed masseur to see what all the fuss was, and lo and behold the massage was awful, cut short half the time, and ended in a robotic way, but I was so captivated by the guy’s body, looks and demeanor in the moment that I let so much more slide than I normally would have. The others who had seen him were so blindsided by his looks that they felt compelled to leave a positive review. I acknowledge this is a masseur vs a provider but it happens in both realms. 

It’s easy to get emotionally carried away in the moment. In your case, apologizing saying it’s you, not him that was the problem. It was him for sure that was the problem. People should know that this happened. He did not fulfill his end of the agreement, nor did he offer to make it right in some other way.

This is why we have reviews. It keeps us providers honest, pushing to do our best and get better over time. Be kind, but be honest too. It helps everyone.

[Lazarus]

Sounds like he fell into a k-hole. 

[+ Coolwave35]

3 hours ago, Cliff said:

Is there any reason you can’t reveal the name of this provider, no matter how well reviewed he’s been?  I, for one, would prefer to avoid this provider. Help us out here, please. 

It gets more attention to be coy. 

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, Lazarus said:

Sounds like he fell into a k-hole. 

Not even Jesus, who "allegedly" rose Lazarus from the dead, could've helped that boy if that was the case 😜

[+ purplekow]

1 hour ago, Lazarus said:

Sounds like he fell into a k-hole. 

The drug effect might explain the initial behavior but drug effect does not wear off as soon as the money is paid.  So while possible, it is hard to explain how things turned out.  

[+ JEC]

On 11/22/2023 at 12:21 AM, geoduck_007 said:

I'm sitting here in a San Francisco hotel room feeling really awful about the experience I just had with one of the areas' best reviewed (on this site!) providers. I was coming into town to do some networking and had wanted to reach out to a provider that had received consistently good reviews on this forum. I felt confident in reaching out to the and was anticipating the meet-up when it all just felt like a nails-on-the-chalkboard experience.

The provider was a prolific texter. He asked for "stats" and; while not uncomfortable, provided him with pictures and details as far as what I wanted to have happened, and to my delight, there were no issues in our back-and-forth's.

Upon coming into town, he asked to move the date to accommodate going back to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving. Luckily, I had that flexibility and; recognizing that scheduling around a holiday can be awkward, was good with that. 

Then, I started to receive what I deem the "flake texts". Reconfirming the time and place a multiple of three times, Asking for confirmation each time. I'm sympathetic to that - some of the best providers on this forum have attested to flakes, and I've always lived up to my commitments and his reputation was solid, so I always responded positively that it was still correct, still a yes. He asked if he could do a workout in before and maybe 5 minutes late at tops. Again, this was not unreasonable and I said yes.

Time comes, he arrives, on-time and polite. We go back to my hotel room and then...everything just stops.

He's not verbal. Not emotional. He just STANDS THERE.

It really threw me for a loop. Not that it couldn't happen with any escort, (or course it can and it did) but this one had SO.MANY.GOOD.REVIEWS.ON.THIS.SITE. I couldn't do anything to engage him for 10 minutes, arouse him, get him to talk. He was as stiff as the 100+ year old wainscotting around the room.

I was so mortified I asked if I could take a pause and have a glass of water and he said nothing. With his back turned to me for a good two minutes, I just gave-up. Told him it was me (it so wasn't! And I wanted it so bad!) gave him the full rate for 1 hour after 15 minutes and he left in 30 seconds

Sad story over, but now the dilemma: for a provider so well thought of on this forum and so well regarded, do I have any recourse? It was like trying to arouse an Easter Island monolith. He never offered once to do something, anything; or, make me comfortable or even try anything. It feels like I'm challenging the reputation of someone who has been exceptionally well received on these forums over years and I feel like it might come out petty if I were to say anything here (Or; god forbid, rent.men)

Do we let sleeping dogs lie after $350 for 15 minutes; or, should we be honest and say something (in the appropriate time/place)?

 

Wow I'm sorry to hear this happened to you...I can understand why you are disappointed and upset.  I've had a few subpar encounters, and each time I chalked it up to something I needed to learn from the experience.  This is not an activity or a transaction which has any guarantees, the human mind and body are imperfect, and the range of possibilities in terms of outcomes is vast.  For me, I generally need to feel like there is good energy with the provider (established in the communications beforehand) to follow through with the meeting.  This was not the case here....there were warning signs which you recounted.  In terms of recourse, you'd be signing up for more negativity and drama, and who needs that?  Bottom line, this encounter was not meant to be for whatever reason.  Clearly the provider has many 5-star reviews, so is capable of providing a great experience; you caught him at a bad time, you did not have chemistry, maybe drugs were involved or maybe he just found out a friend died or his dog has cancer, you'll never know.  I'd just chalk it up to a learning experience (but, do learn from it), let go of all the bad energy and move on to your next great experience.  Good luck

Edited November 26, 2023 by JEC

[+ bashful]

You’re not alone.

 He’s now retired.   All 5 star reviews, forum fav, charged $450 for 90 min. BFE.  I guess I got the BF no longer in the mood to interact.  Am I that repulsive?  Seemed to just want to talk.  Not much play.  We had a 8pm appt.  Said he had not been outside the hotel the entire day.  I went along.
 

Surprisingly, he reached out to me a couple of times after, and we texted back and forth.  Guess he just wanted to talk.  On the third time he reached out, it was a simple message he’d be in town, let me know if you want to meet.  I said I enjoyed talking with him, but otherwise we were not a good match.   Never heard from him again. 
 

Too bad, if it had gone better, and the man in those reviews with all the positive adjectives were present, I’d have spent some cash.  Live and learn.  Water under the bridge.

 

 

Edited November 28, 2023 by bashful

[peter831]

I have had just a few not so good experiences with guys who were well reviewed on RM and on here. Some on here also gave me very positive recommendations about prospective hires in private messages. But one flaked out and was a no-show after re-confirming the appointment, one did not match his photos at all, one was just so-so and left early to go to his next appointment, and another spent most of the time talking and then could not perform. The vast majority of well reviewed guys have been very good, so I assume there were other things going on with the bad experiences that impacted their experience with me. On the other hand, I recently took a chance with someone with no reviews on RM or on here, and I had a great time.

[+ APPLE1]

On 11/22/2023 at 11:43 AM, Simon Suraci said:

An honest review won’t tarnish his reputation. If he has many satisfied reviewers, that will all outweigh his off day, but also show his audience that he’s a human and not perfect 100% of the time. That’s ok.

This is likely off topic, but I am often attracted to profiles that DON'T have exclusively 5 star reviews.

After all, you can't please all of the people all of the time. I take a certain affirmation in seeing a 4, or 3, etc review. I gives me more confidence that the other reviews are reality, and that a provider is confident enough in their skill not to reinvent themselves because they couldn't make someone perfectly happy.