Running into a provider …

[Whippoorwill]

It's really the same rule I learned as a 20-year old and newly out...be discrete when bumping into your tricks when out and about. The funniest occasion was when my then-husband and I met a guy at a party with whom we had each surreptitiously tricked with. It soon became obvious to all what the story was. Fortunately, we all were able to have a good laugh over it at the time. Today, however, my husband does not know about my hobby and it needs to stay that way. 

[+ keroscenefire]

In Denver, I run into guys all the time. A lot of them actually work as bartenders and/or go-go dancers at the gay bars here, so it's very hard to avoid them. Otherwise they attend those same gay bars socially. So yeah it happens and sometimes I will do a brief head-nod hello, and order my drink but otherwise I'll ignore them unless they come up to me. Which has also happened. Lol. 

Edited September 12, 2023 by keroscenefire

[soloyo215]

I agree that you didn't do anything wrong. I also agree about discretion being the main rule, and to judge every situation with discretion. I, however, had a provider that apparently wanted to befriend me. He started calling me out of nowhere just to say hello, and started sending me pictures of him in places having fun. It didn't strike me as harassment or blackmail, just odd. In fact, for some reason I found it rather off-putting than threatening. I saw him one more time after, but after that session neither of us heard again from each other. Not sure what was that all about. Just odd.

[Jason Dutch]

It depends on present company and context of course, but I think your instinct towards discretion makes perfect sense. When I've run into clients "in the wild" I've normally taken the lead when I've thought it was safe/appropriate. Once I ran into one of my sweetest, kindest foot subs while both of us were alone shopping at the grocery store. When I greeted him with a smile, he was astonished but soooooo happy haha.

[Simon Suraci]

Let’s say the OP was, in fact, ignoring or avoiding the provider due to shame, embarrassment, privacy, discretion, awkwardness, or any other understandable reason. Any provider with such a thin skin reacting this way really shouldn’t be doing this work. An experienced good provider can handle these situations with a healthy amount of tact and diplomacy.

There are way worse scenarios in the course of regular business in the normal context that would throw him into an emotional tailspin. If you can’t handle yourself with some level of maturity and grace, you won’t last long.

 I agree with the other comments.

[CuriousByNature]

Anytime I run into anyone I stop my vehicle and make sure they aren't seriously hurt.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I have twice bumped into providers in social settings.  In one case, I simply said "hi" as I walked by and he responded "hi" back.  A few minutes later, he came over to my table and we caught up for a couple of minutes.  He hadn't recognized me as I had shaved off my beard that we had when I had seen him three months before.

In the other case, I was in the wait area for my barber with my nose in my phone.  As the barber was checking out his previous client he called my name and I looked up.  Standing next to him was my masseur from the previous evening paying and scheduling his next appointment.  The massuer made eye contact with me and said "hi."  It appeared he was with a friend, so I simply responded with a "hi" and he left.  Fairly innocent that it allowed each of us to acknowledge recognition, but casual like saying "hi" to a stranger as we pass on a walk through the park.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I have a regular who said, if he saw me in public, promised he would completely ignore me and pretend he doesn't know me. He didn't need to go that far.

Personally, I think simply exchanging a quick "hi" is the best answer. But everyone has their personal level of safety.