65 is not elderly, damn it!

[robberbaron4u]

11 minutes ago, Lucky said:

This 79-year old still parties:

https://pagesix.com/2023/06/23/mick-jagger-79-shimmies-on-the-dance-floor-at-ritzy-nyc-gala/

Alien life form.

[robberbaron4u]

On 6/21/2023 at 10:55 PM, CuriousByNature said:

I've known people in their 20s who act like they're in their 60's, and people over 100 who also act like they're in their 60s.  So many factors come into play - genetics, environment, financial resources, luck.  Hard to find anyone in their 90s and beyond who didn't benefit from at least a couple of those factors.   When I was young I thought that 60 was ancient, but that might be because back in the 80s older people acted older than they do today.  Hairstyles, clothing, activities - it seems like they wanted to fit the image of a senior.  Not today - octogenarians posing in Playboy, more people able to access anti-aging procedures, and maybe most important - the general erosion of respect that younger people once paid to those who are older may be another reason why many seniors try to stay as young as possible.  Old age was once something that was attained and embraced, but now it is shunned and forced into the geriatric closet.

In the South, the referenced behaviour is commonly referred to as having been "born old".

[robberbaron4u]

On 6/22/2023 at 9:41 AM, Rudynate said:

I want to believe that, but a solid year of health challenges is undermining my faith in that view. 

Indeed! When the time comes that getting out of the bed in the morning is comparable to pouring milk on a bowl of Rice Krispies...snap, crackle, pop, that notion will be subject to reconsideration.

[samhexum]

22 minutes ago, Lucky said:

This 79-year old still parties:

 

9 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Alien life form.

This Alien life form is over 300 years old, and I'll bet he still parties:

[Rudynate]

3 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Indeed! When the time comes that getting out of the bed in the morning is comparable to pouring milk on a bowl of Rice Krispies...snap, crackle, pop, that notion will be subject to reconsideration.

I'm just having a bad year relative to my health- I'm nowhere close to being ready to cash it in.  I just started a new business this year.

[samhexum]

7 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Indeed! When the time comes that getting out of the bed in the morning is comparable to pouring milk on a bowl of Rice Krispies...snap, crackle, pop, that notion will be subject to reconsideration.

Why, I have no idea at all what you mean...

[Rudynate]

1 hour ago, Pensant said:

Correct. I’ve got naturally high T and cross-train daily. I also have done box jumps for years which greatly improve balance. 

You're doing everything right.  Get that DXA scan so you know where you are WRT your T score.  If it is less than 0, start a supplement program,  consider HRT, talk to the doc about meds.

[Rudynate]

1 hour ago, robberbaron4u said:

Be mindful that, by the "Good Book", you get " four score and ten"; beyond that is a gift "on the cuff" from the Maker.

 

 

Great - I'll take it!

[robberbaron4u]

3 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

Great - I'll take it!

Regretfully, "three score and ten" (70), not "four score and ten" (80). There is a very good editorial op" by a notable health care profession on why 75 is a good age to "check out".

[Rudynate]

16 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Regretfully, "three score and ten" (70), not "four score and ten" (80). There is a very good editorial op" by a notable health care profession on why 75 is a good age to "check out".

When it comes, it comes, of course.  But my plan extends well beyond 75 yo.  That's the upside of having an autoimmune condition -  surprisingly, my life expectancy is longer than average. 

[CuriousByNature]

4 hours ago, Rudynate said:

When it comes, it comes, of course.  But my plan extends well beyond 75 yo.  That's the upside of having an autoimmune condition -  surprisingly, my life expectancy is longer than average. 

How does an autoimmune issue factor in?  This is new info to me... very interesting.

[Guest]

On 6/21/2023 at 8:55 PM, CuriousByNature said:

I've known ...people over 100 who also act like they're in their 60s....

That implies you've known people in their 100s who don't act like they're in their 60s. How many people over 100 have you known? My 103 year-old friend is the only person I've ever known to pass 100. Even as a physician, I had a number of patients in their 90s, but none who passed the century mark. I almost thought I had it once, when I had a patient turn 99 (though she was wheelchair-bound and definitely not 60ish). I privately told my medical assistant how I was looking forward to having my first patient reach 100, but several weeks later, I was called by a nurse who told me that the lady passed away while at the ophthalmologist's. How many readers of this forum know people over 100, and if so how many?

[Rudynate]

9 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

That implies you've known people in their 100s who don't act like they're in their 60s. How many people over 100 have you known? My 103 year-old friend is the only person I've ever known to pass 100. Even as a physician, I had a number of patients in their 90s, but none who passed the century mark. I almost thought I had it once, when I had a patient turn 99 (though she was wheelchair-bound and definitely not 60ish). I privately told my medical assistant how I was looking forward to having my first patient reach 100, but several weeks later, I was called by a nurse who told me that the lady passed away while at the ophthalmologist's. How many readers of this forum know people over 100, and if so how many?

When I was a little kid, our neighbors across the street had her mother living with them, and she was over 100 years old. When I was looking for skilled care for my father, I toured a Methodist home. They told me that centenarians were starting to become commonplace - they had 11 or 12 of them among their residents.   I wouldn't say that I have ever known a centenarian though.   I knew an almost-centenarian.  He was a resident at the assisted living facility where my mother lived.  He was just a few months short of 100 when I met him.  He was a retired philosophy professor, and we just hit if off - loved talking with each other, developed sort of a man crusch for each other.  It was very sad when I heard he had died. 

[Rudynate]

2 hours ago, CuriousByNature said:

How does an autoimmune issue factor in?  This is new info to me... very interesting.

It was sort of a joke.  In a few studies of people who have what I have, an incidental finding was that they tended to live a little longer than the general population (emphasis added).    

[Luv2play]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

That implies you've known people in their 100s who don't act like they're in their 60s. How many people over 100 have you known? My 103 year-old friend is the only person I've ever known to pass 100. Even as a physician, I had a number of patients in their 90s, but none who passed the century mark. I almost thought I had it once, when I had a patient turn 99 (though she was wheelchair-bound and definitely not 60ish). I privately told my medical assistant how I was looking forward to having my first patient reach 100, but several weeks later, I was called by a nurse who told me that the lady passed away while at the ophthalmologist's. How many readers of this forum know people over 100, and if so how many?

I've only met one to actually talk to and we had a facinating conversation. She was in a retirement home and had all her wits about her. When she told me her age (102) I did a quick calculation and asked her about her school days. It turned out she and my aunt had been in the same class in school back in the 1920's.

My aunt had died of breast cancer in 1968 at the age of 51. This woman had outlived her by twice her age. She died about half a year later and I was at her funeral. 

 

[CuriousByNature]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

That implies you've known people in their 100s who don't act like they're in their 60s. How many people over 100 have you known? My 103 year-old friend is the only person I've ever known to pass 100. Even as a physician, I had a number of patients in their 90s, but none who passed the century mark. I almost thought I had it once, when I had a patient turn 99 (though she was wheelchair-bound and definitely not 60ish). I privately told my medical assistant how I was looking forward to having my first patient reach 100, but several weeks later, I was called by a nurse who told me that the lady passed away while at the ophthalmologist's. How many readers of this forum know people over 100, and if so how many?

I would estimate I have known a dozen or slightly more, and several others who almost made it - dying at 99+.   Most of the centenarians I have known passed away before the age of 105, but two went beyond that - one made it to 108, and that one was a male, which is especially rare.

[samhexum]

My former roommate's stepmother's stepfather (got that?) still played tennis at 104.

The mother of one of the remaining Atkol stragglers is 100.

[+ Charlie]

On 6/24/2023 at 3:12 PM, Unicorn said:

That implies you've known people in their 100s who don't act like they're in their 60s. How many people over 100 have you known? My 103 year-old friend is the only person I've ever known to pass 100. Even as a physician, I had a number of patients in their 90s, but none who passed the century mark. I almost thought I had it once, when I had a patient turn 99 (though she was wheelchair-bound and definitely not 60ish). I privately told my medical assistant how I was looking forward to having my first patient reach 100, but several weeks later, I was called by a nurse who told me that the lady passed away while at the ophthalmologist's. How many readers of this forum know people over 100, and if so how many?

I have had four family members who passed the century mark--my mother (102), her cousin (100), and two of my father's aunts (101 and 103). I knew all of them well. All were fairly healthy until the end, both physically and mentally, although one of the aunts had mobility problems after falling while getting off an airplane at 99. All were widows, who outlived their husbands for many years. Two of them lived in their own homes until the end, while the other two lived in nursing homes during their last years. My mother chose to move from our home into an assisted living facility when she was 94, not only because she was going blind, but also because she thought she would find it easier to make new friends among those closer to her own age than among young people like us (i.e., in our 60s), who could barely remember World War II, much less World War I. She was somewhat disappointed to discover that most of her co-residents could hardly remember the 1920s as vividly as she did.

[+ Charlie]

I have a good friend who is 73 years old. She is about 5'3" and through a strictly maintained diet she stays very slender. Although she now has artificial hips, she plays tennis almost every day and has played for years. Her luxuriant hair is still a rich dark brown, but if you look carefully, sometimes you will see white roots, She dresses like an athletic young urban businesswoman (she owned a business for a number of years in San Francisco). Her 80 year old husband is a very large and irascible invalid who calls her "Girl." She resents any implication that she is "elderly," and nothing riles her more than when a younger male addresses her as "ma'am."

Unfortunately, this passion not to become elderly has obstructed her ability to accept that her eyesight and reflexes are not what they used to be, and the younger people she plays tennis with are quietly refusing to be matched with her regularly. I am at a loss to know how to broach this subject without really upsetting her, especially since her sister is a lesbian psychotherapist who encourages her effort to "stay young."

[Luv2play]

51 minutes ago, Charlie said:

I have a good friend who is 73 years old. She is about 5'3" and through a strictly maintained diet she stays very slender. Although she now has artificial hips, she plays tennis almost every day and has played for years. Her luxuriant hair is still a rich dark brown, but if you look carefully, sometimes you will see white roots, She dresses like an athletic young urban businesswoman (she owned a business for a number of years in San Francisco). Her 80 year old husband is a very large and irascible invalid who calls her "Girl." She resents any implication that she is "elderly," and nothing riles her more than when a younger male addresses her as "ma'am."

Unfortunately, this passion not to become elderly has obstructed her ability to accept that her eyesight and reflexes are not what they used to be, and the younger people she plays tennis with are quietly refusing to be matched with her regularly. I am at a loss to know how to broach this subject without really upsetting her, especially since her sister is a lesbian psychotherapist who encourages her effort to "stay young."

You could try writing to that advice column in the NYT. Not only do they give advice but readers are free to write in with their opinions whether the advice tendered was the best or not.

[+ Charlie]

59 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

You could try writing to that advice column in the NYT. Not only do they give advice but readers are free to write in with their opinions whether the advice tendered was the best or not.

Except that she reads the NYT every day, and if I were explicit enough in my request for advice, she might recognize herself and me.

Edited June 26, 2023 by Charlie

[samhexum]

1 hour ago, Luv2play said:

You could try writing to that advice column in the NYT. Not only do they give advice but readers are free to write in with their opinions whether the advice tendered was the best or not.

Or he could seek the advice of another learned individual...

 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Charlie said:

... she now has artificial hips, she plays tennis almost every day and has played for years... I am at a loss to know how to broach this subject without really upsetting her, especially since her sister is a lesbian psychotherapist who encourages her effort to "stay young."

I don't understand your impetus to broach this subject. 

It sounds as though your friend is getting good exercise most days and is happy. My 103 year-old friend also dyes her hair and one can see her roots often. She certainly has a happy, positive outlook on life. No one is forcing anyone else to play tennis with her. Unless there's something important missing in your story, I would just be happy for her. As Billy Crystal used to say on SNL, "It's not how you feel, it's how you look!" 😄

[Rudynate]

40 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

I don't understand your impetus to broach this subject. 

It sounds as though your friend is getting good exercise most days and is happy. My 103 year-old friend also dyes her hair and one can see her roots often. She certainly has a happy, positive outlook on life. No one is forcing anyone else to play tennis with her. Unless there's something important missing in your story, I would just be happy for her. As Billy Crystal used to say on SNL, "It's not how you feel, it's how you look!" 😄

We have one friend who has lived in France for many years.  She says the idea that, at some point in her life, a woman should allow herself to go gray is a very American notion and that European women don't have any guilt about wanting to look good until the day they die. She colors her own hair a beautiful rich brunette and sports a very glamorous Jackie hairstyle.

[+ Charlie]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

I don't understand your impetus to broach this subject. 

It sounds as though your friend is getting good exercise most days and is happy. My 103 year-old friend also dyes her hair and one can see her roots often. She certainly has a happy, positive outlook on life. No one is forcing anyone else to play tennis with her. Unless there's something important missing in your story, I would just be happy for her. As Billy Crystal used to say on SNL, "It's not how you feel, it's how you look!" 😄

Yes, she is getting exercise, but she is not happy. We play at a private tennis club, where the manager sets up the matches. She only plays doubles, and she is frustrated because her team is almost always losing (usually because of her play). She also is not aware that other people are so concerned about her playing ability that people are asking not to be matched with her regularly. I learned from another close friend yesterday that the people who play with her elsewhere at informal matches are also beginning to avoid playing with her. Tennis is an important social outlet for her, and she has always had confidence that she is valued for her competitive proficiency. To learn that people don't want to play with her any longer, because they don't feel she is at their level, would be a crushing blow.