Dustin_NYC

[DMICS]

Also, I think it was mentioned before in another thread last year that Dustin's ex was RM provider Anthony Chelsea. So I'd also assume he's gay. 

[savantsav]

Unfortunately he stood me up. Twice in a row. 

 

Contacted him in advance to set up sometime. Agreed on a Wednesday at 10pm and he told me he would plan for it and to circle back closer to the time. I texted him around 9:15pm telling him I had just gotten back to my hotel and that I was gonna shower and get ready… and wait…. At 9:55 he texts me saying he had overslept and that it would take him about 45 mins to get ready and get to me. I told him that wasn’t gonna work as it’ll be too late and offered to meet the next day at 7pm to which he said yes. 

 

Thursday comes around and I write to him at 6:15pm “I’m back to my hotel to shower and prep” and… I didn’t hear back from him until 6:55pm telling me he had just left his job and if I could do 7:30pm instead. I told him no of course not I had a dinner after and we had agreed on a time and he stood me up again. Twice In a row. I Told him how unprofessional it was to miss the appointment twice in a row with no warning or message. 

 

He apologized and said he was going through something personal which I get but missing it twice? In a row? I told him he didn’t seem interested in making it up somehow. Completely disinterested. I told him if he was going through something to just deactivate his profile until he can process whatever is going on so he doesn’t hurt clients. 

 

So make SURE you have a Plan B. He won’t even give you a heads-up in time. 

[BaronArtz]

Being 30 minutes late is not a big deal really.  Traffic can be bad.

Relax.

Edited May 30 by BaronArtz

[savantsav]

He could’ve texted in time. He missed his appointment twice by over 30+ minutes and only told me 5 minutes before the scheduled time! Tell me in advance so I can then prep things up. Sucks to be stood up twice in a row, so no I won’t relax it’s completely unprofessional to do once but to do it twice? Extremely unprofessional

Imagine if we as clients are late over 30mins without saying anything until last minute. It would fuck with their schedule and would be rightfully pissed, and TWICE in a row? Come on. Professionalism in this business is important

Edited May 30 by savantsav

[DMICS]

2 hours ago, savantsav said:

He could’ve texted in time. He missed his appointment twice by over 30+ minutes and only told me 5 minutes before the scheduled time! Tell me in advance so I can then prep things up. Sucks to be stood up twice in a row, so no I won’t relax it’s completely unprofessional to do once but to do it twice? Extremely unprofessional

Imagine if we as clients are late over 30mins without saying anything until last minute. It would fuck with their schedule and would be rightfully pissed, and TWICE in a row? Come on. Professionalism in this business is important

 

I see you had a similar experience to mine. Sorry to hear that happened.

Seems like Dustin is one of those providers you need to have an immediate backup plan, or clear your whole day and sit around on command for whenever he's ready to visit. If the roles were reversed we, the client, would be blocked. If the story was posted here, we'd be scathed for not being prompt. 

Edited May 30 by DMICS

[savantsav]

4 hours ago, DMICS said:

 

I see you had a similar experience to mine. Sorry to hear that happened.

Seems like Dustin is one of those providers you need to have an immediate backup plan, or clear your whole day and sit around on command for whenever he's ready to visit. If the roles were reversed we, the client, would be blocked. If the story was posted here, we'd be scathed for not being prompt. 

I’m so sorry it happened to you too. I read all the rave reviews here and was utterly disappointed. Yes you’re completely right if it had been us 30mins and 45 mins late without notice we would get blocked and dragged through the mud here, and twice?

The most disappointing thing was the lack of contrition I guess. How very nonchalant “yeah I fucked up twice, sorry, anyways” as if it was a daily thing which from your post seems it’s happening more often now. 

I’ve had providers be late and what not and tell me “I’m so sorry, let me make it up to you, we can do 90min and I’ll charge 60min” or something like that you know? If I bump into you at the bar and you drop your drink I don’t just say sorry and move on, I have to go “let me get you another drink” In his case he was OFFENDED that I said “apologies are appreciated but you haven’t even said once I’ll make it up to you after ruining both my evenings” like, it’s a business you’re running and being professional matters a lot in it. 
 

Anyways yeah as you confirm just make plan b if you book him

[pleasureseeker]

I can chime in. First time was one of my best hires, he's my type in every way. Second time, which was a few weeks later. I kept reconfirming with him (as I always do) up to an hour before going to his place. Got to his place. I clearly woke him up (it was 6:00PM) and after 5 minutes, he said he wasn't up for it and apologized profusely. Considering I'd given him several "outs", I felt there was no reason for this at all. I left and never went back.

[pubic_assistance]

9 hours ago, savantsav said:

He apologized and said he was going through something personal which I get but missing it twice? In a row?

🤔 Was he supposed to get over his personal problems faster so you could get off at your scheduled time ? 🤔🤔🤔

Sometimes certain people forget that escorting is a very personal and emotional business. A little sympathy and understanding for providers when they've hit a rough patch in life would be expected. Personally, if a regular provider told me he'd been going through some bad times, I would have offered to take him to dinner, let him vent and paid him for his time without expecting "service" in return.

[savantsav]

43 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

🤔 Was he supposed to get over his personal problems faster so you could get off at your scheduled time ? 🤔🤔🤔

Sometimes certain people forget that escorting is a very personal and emotional business. A little sympathy and understanding for providers when they've hit a rough patch in life would be expected. Personally, if a regular provider told me he'd been going through some bad times, I would have offered to take him to dinner, let him vent and paid him for his time without expecting "service" in return.

No? If he’s going through something that sucks but if it’s affecting your job then don’t take any new clients? How’s that difficult to understand? This happened not just once but twice. 
 

Also what do you mean empathy and taking him out to dinner for him to vent? Which part of he stood me up twice did you miss? What am I gonna do, make a reservation for two for dinner so that he leaves me hanging again?

This was my first time trying to meet with him. I didn’t know him to he a regular to let him vent or whatever. If he’s not in the best frame of mind DO NOT take any new clients. There’s now TWO other people reporting the same issue, come on, it’s a matter of professionalism. 

Edited May 30 by savantsav

[savantsav]

1 hour ago, pleasureseeker said:

I can chime in. First time was one of my best hires, he's my type in every way. Second time, which was a few weeks later. I kept reconfirming with him (as I always do) up to an hour before going to his place. Got to his place. I clearly woke him up (it was 6:00PM) and after 5 minutes, he said he wasn't up for it and apologized profusely. Considering I'd given him several "outs", I felt there was no reason for this at all. I left and never went back.

I’m sorry this happened to you too. It definitely sucks and I think he might’ve started as a full on professional but has gotten worse since and now he just doesn’t care.
 

Just like you I also gave him several outs on both days and he just didn’t care. 

Edited May 30 by savantsav

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, savantsav said:

This was my first time trying to meet with him.

I wasn't telling you to take HIM to dinner.

I was sharing that when MY regulars are going through a rough patch, I take care of them. Same way I would any other friend.

I am merely pointing out that providers are people and people have problems. Clearly this guy may be struggling to balance work with personal struggles...or maybe be dipping into the chems for comfort.

In YOUR case, you are claiming he "stood you up", when in-fact he was merely asking to push back the schedule. So its not like he didnt show up at all. He explained his situation and was asking for a change of 45 minutes to the schedule. Hardly the most awful thing that's happened to your day. I would have cut the guy some slack, agreed to the later time and taken it from there. Shit happens and we all need to adjust a bit to make schedules work. If I got pissed every time a subcontractor's schedule didn't work out in MY business, I'd be locked up in an asylum by now for raging anger issues.

[savantsav]

He stood me up on the time we had agreed on and confirmed repeatedly. Push back of 45 mins when this business is based on an hourly rate and expecting NOT to be upset about is is ridiculous. He also didn’t ask to push back 45 mins a few hours before our appointment time, it was literally 5 mins before our appointment time. If he’s having personal issues I get it! Don’t book time with clients then. I don’t book providers when I’m having personal issues. 
 

Reverse the situation and imagine a client asking a provider to push back 45 mins a meeting, 5 mins before it’s supposed to start and not just happening once but also the following day.  They would be livid and rightfully so
 

Come on, there’s no excuses for this unprofessional behavior. 

Edited May 30 by savantsav

[Asterisk]

12 hours ago, savantsav said:

Unfortunately he stood me up. Twice in a row. 

Contacted him in advance to set up sometime. Agreed on a Wednesday at 10pm and he told me he would plan for it and to circle back closer to the time. I texted him around 9:15pm telling him I had just gotten back to my hotel and that I was gonna shower and get ready… and wait…. At 9:55 he texts me saying he had overslept and that it would take him about 45 mins to get ready and get to me. I told him that wasn’t gonna work as it’ll be too late and offered to meet the next day at 7pm to which he said yes. 

Thursday comes around and I write to him at 6:15pm “I’m back to my hotel to shower and prep” and… I didn’t hear back from him until 6:55pm telling me he had just left his job and if I could do 7:30pm instead. I told him no of course not I had a dinner after and we had agreed on a time and he stood me up again. Twice In a row. I Told him how unprofessional it was to miss the appointment twice in a row with no warning or message. 

He apologized and said he was going through something personal which I get but missing it twice? In a row? I told him he didn’t seem interested in making it up somehow. Completely disinterested. I told him if he was going through something to just deactivate his profile until he can process whatever is going on so he doesn’t hurt clients. 

So make SURE you have a Plan B. He won’t even give you a heads-up in time. 

He didn't stand you up or ghost you; he asked to shift 30-40 minutes.  Sounds like you two, temperamentally, aren't a good match.  (And, reading between the lines, I'd guess that's why he was uninterested in "making up for it somehow.")

[savantsav]

9 minutes ago, Asterisk said:

He didn't stand you up or ghost you; he asked to shift 30-40 minutes.  Sounds like you two, temperamentally, aren't a good match.  (And, reading between the lines, I'd guess that's why he was uninterested in "making up for it somehow.")

I would’ve had no issues “shifting” it if he had told me in advance NOT when the session was supposed to start and from what you also read from others who have recently posted here it seems to be a normal thing for him now.  It wasn’t just me and my “temperament”
 

We agreed and confirmed times on TWO separate occasions and on both he had to “shift”. That’s extremely unprofessional. My time is as valuable as his. 

Edited May 30 by savantsav

[+ purplekow]

13 hours ago, savantsav said:

 

Unfortunately he stood me up. Twice in a row. 

 

Contacted him in advance to set up sometime. Agreed on a Wednesday at 10pm and he told me he would plan for it and to circle back closer to the time. I texted him around 9:15pm telling him I had just gotten back to my hotel and that I was gonna shower and get ready… and wait…. At 9:55 he texts me saying he had overslept and that it would take him about 45 mins to get ready and get to me. I told him that wasn’t gonna work as it’ll be too late and offered to meet the next day at 7pm to which he said yes. 

 

Thursday comes around and I write to him at 6:15pm “I’m back to my hotel to shower and prep” and… I didn’t hear back from him until 6:55pm telling me he had just left his job and if I could do 7:30pm instead. I told him no of course not I had a dinner after and we had agreed on a time and he stood me up again. Twice In a row. I Told him how unprofessional it was to miss the appointment twice in a row with no warning or message. 

 

He apologized and said he was going through something personal which I get but missing it twice? In a row? I told him he didn’t seem interested in making it up somehow. Completely disinterested. I told him if he was going through something to just deactivate his profile until he can process whatever is going on so he doesn’t hurt clients. 

 

So make SURE you have a Plan B. He won’t even give you a heads-up in time.     

To be fair, he did not stand you up, rather he was going to be late and was very late in letting you know that. As a result you cancelled rather than have him come later than scheduled.   It seems that you set up a tight schedule with a session and dinner with someone else  to follow soon after.  So perhaps the warning is not that he cancels or stands  one up but rather that he is not respectful of scheduling and so expect that he may be late and also late to let you know that.   For me, that would not be a problem, but I can certainly see where others who are more schedule driven would be annoyed.  

Edited May 30 by purplekow

[pubic_assistance]

36 minutes ago, savantsav said:

Come on, there’s no excuses for this unprofessional behavior. 

[BaronArtz]

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

🤔 Was he supposed to get over his personal problems faster so you could get off at your scheduled time ? 🤔🤔🤔

Sometimes certain people forget that escorting is a very personal and emotional business. A little sympathy and understanding for providers when they've hit a rough patch in life would be expected. Personally, if a regular provider told me he'd been going through some bad times, I would have offered to take him to dinner, let him vent and paid him for his time without expecting "service" in return.

I admire you for saying that.  You are a gentleman and a wonderful human being.  

 

[BaronArtz]

12 hours ago, savantsav said:

He could’ve texted in time. He missed his appointment twice by over 30+ minutes and only told me 5 minutes before the scheduled time!

Do you understand that maybe, just maybe, he was in the subway on his way to you, without cell phone or internet connection?  Being 30 minutes late really isn't the end of the world.

In certain social circles, in certain cultures, you are expected to show up at least 30 minutes late for a social appointment,

Edited May 30 by BaronArtz

[savantsav]

4 minutes ago, BaronArtz said:

Do you understand that maybe, just maybe, he was in the subway on his way to you, without cell phone or internet connection?  Being 30 minutes late really isn't the end of the world.

In certain social circles, in certain cultures, you are expected to show up at least 30 minutes late for a social appointment,

This is not the culture we are in NOR the business we are in and that people here are justifying a provider CONSISTENTLY being late and notifying clients at the last minute of being late is mindblowing. 

[SkyBliss]

I see some people in this thread have decided to stop being cruel to providers lol- in contrast to their behavior on other threads.

 

i will say though- being 30 minutes late is indeed frustrating. It’s half of the typical time slot that providers are booked for (an hour).

It isn’t professional to be late consistently, and not update the client about it. If you had a doctors appointment at 9 AM, and it takes 30 minutes to get to the doctors office from your home, would you leave your home at 9 AM?

 

[SkyBliss]

30 minutes ago, purplekow said:

To be fair, he did not stand you up, rather he was going to be late and was very late in letting you know that. As a result you cancelled rather than have him come later than scheduled.   It seems that you set up a tight schedule with a session and dinner with someone else  to follow soon after.  So perhaps the warning is not that he cancels or stands  one up but rather that he is not respectful of scheduling and so expect that he may be late and also late to let you know that.   For me, that would not be a problem, but I can certainly see where others who are more schedule driven would be annoyed.  

Yes exactly- if you are ok with someone being consistently late, he’s maybe your guy. 
 

Seems others in this thread are more permissive of significant lateness than others.

[savantsav]

1 minute ago, SkyBliss said:

Yes exactly- if you are ok with someone being consistently late, he’s maybe your guy. 
 

Seems others in this thread are more permissive of significant lateness than others.

Yep and some of us also on this thread appreciate when providers are on time and if they can’t to let us know in advance. Not 5 mins before the appointment is about to happen. And doing it again the next day. It’s very unprofessional and reading of people justifying it here is just mind blowing. 
 

So if you’re OK with him being late to your appointments great for you. I and several others here don’t appreciate our time being wasted. 

[BaronArtz]

Not pointing my finger at anyone in particular, but the tone and content of some of the posts here prove to me that certain people really don't have any social savoir-faire.  It takes a level of skill, empathy and patience navigating relationships, whatever they may be, with another human being.

In the way some of us present themselves in this manner, I understand these people NEED a paid escort, without whom, nothing would ever happen in the bedroom and beyond.

Edited May 30 by BaronArtz

[SkyBliss]

1 minute ago, BaronArtz said:

Not pointing my finger at anyone in particular, but the tone and content of some of the posts here prove to me that certain people really don't have any social savoir-faire.  It takes a level of skill, empathy and patience navigating relationships, whatever they may be, with another human being.

If the way some of us present themselves in this way, I understand these people NEED a paid escort., without whom, nothing would ever happen in the bedroom and beyond.

I would like you to be specific about what suggests that I do not have savoir-faire.

Having expectations that a person I am hiring for a service shows up on time means I have no savoir-faire? Being turned off when an individual is significantly late twice in a row, and communicates last minute, means *I* have no “savoir-faire”? 
 

Even if this post isn’t directed at me- what specifically suggests to you that being annoyed when someone is late twice in a row with no communication until the last minute (something that can get an individual fired in many other professions) means that the offended person has no “savoir-faire”? Please, be specific. 

[savantsav]

Yikes that’s not cool shaming people for their possible neurodivergence. 
 

Is there anything wrong with asking providers who work based on their time, to be ON TIME or to notify the client if they can’t make it to the agreed and confirmed time in advance? And to NOT doing it again the next day?

 

”Oh but he’s having personal issues! Have some empathy!” Don’t book new clients then? “Sorry I’m going through something and can’t see you” is perfectly fine. He did not. He acted completely unprofessional towards me (and others in this thread) and the fault is OURS?

 

nah that is not it.