Are deposit requests becoming a regular thing?

[coriolis888]

On 2/26/2023 at 2:35 PM, chelseanyc said:

Regarding deposits paid to providers:

Anyway, not a fan on this trend. BTW the one who I did meet up with - I asked after the (decent) session if now that he knew I was legit and not a flake, if I would need to do a deposit in the future, he said yes he would still request one.

That escort is not too bright. 

That is tantamount to shooting oneself in the foot.  

 

[coriolis888]

On 2/27/2023 at 7:13 AM, mds1 said:

I don’t mind paying a deposit in certain situations. 

I would never spend more than $40 or so, and I would certainly never pay for the full session in advance before even meeting up. 

How do you send the "deposit" - via pay pal or similar agency?

[chelseanyc]

4 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

That escort is not too bright. 

That is tantamount to shooting oneself in the foot.  

 

Exactly.  Not planning on hiring him again. It was mildly insulting and an example of how to push away a client and make him feel like shit. 

[Becket]

I've never considered it before, but it would make sense that a bottom would ask for a deposit.  Nothing worse than spending all that time and effort getting nice and clean and then having to settle for a cucumber or banana. Or so I've been told.

[NYXboy]

On 3/2/2023 at 7:08 AM, Archbishop said:

Yesterday I scheduled a 2 hour session for Thursday night with a provider and he didn’t ask for a deposit when I booked. Just now he texted back saying he had other clients interested in our time slot and asked me to put down a deposit to hold the slot. I told him to let the other clients have my spot instead!

this is so interesting. So if he said to the other interested parties "sorry I am booked at that time" then you cancel last minute- he has missed out on both bookings. 

The fact that you don't even see that, and instead chose to be offended is pretty wild to me! 

I think the provider probably dodged a bullet with you here. if you were serious about the booking you wouldn't mind sending a $20- $50 deposit to lock it in. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by NYXboy

[MscleLovr]

35 minutes ago, NYXboy said:

I think the provider probably dodged a bullet with you

Respectfully I disagree.

The provider said that he had “other clients interested” when he asked for a deposit last-minute. Like @Archbishop, I too might have seen this as a “red flag” - why the last-minute demand for money upfront? The demand could well have been a scam. 

Years ago, I’d agreed a 3 day weekend trip with an LA muscleboy. (We’d dated and been on trips before). 4 days prior to departure, he told me that another high-paying customer was offering $2500 for an overnight date that weekend. He asked me either to match the money he’d forego if our trip went as planned or he could be with me for 2 days only but he’d expect the same fee. I told him No and never saw him again. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by MscleLovr

[coriolis888]

6 hours ago, NYXboy said:

this is so interesting. So if he said to the other interested parties "sorry I am booked at that time" then you cancel last minute- he has missed out on both bookings. 

The fact that you don't even see that, and instead chose to be offended is pretty wild to me! 

___________________________________________________________

I think the provider probably dodged a bullet with you here. if you were serious about the booking you wouldn't mind sending a $20- $50 deposit to lock it in. 

"The fact that you don't even see that, and instead chose to be offended is pretty wild to me! "

I do not think the author was offended.  I think he merely does not pay advance deposits (period). 

Each person is different and views a similar item differently.

So many clients have been ripped off (including me) by paying "deposits" and the escort does not show or even bother to offer an excuse for not showing.  

If more clients continue paying deposits, no shows by escorts will get worse than it already is.  

Just my opinion as a person previously ripped off by sending a payment "deposit" then waiting around like a fool for someone who had no intention of keeping his part of the bargain.  

Of course there are escorts who keep their word.  But there are many more who do not.  

 

Edited March 4, 2023 by coriolis888

[+ Pensant]

8 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

I asked after the (decent) session if now that he knew I was legit and not a flake, if I would need to do a deposit in the future, he said yes he would still request one.

That’s absurd. I don’t hire again after merely “decent” sessions anyway, and I’ve had plenty of those over the years.

[+ Pensant]

35 minutes ago, MscleLovr said:

Years ago, I’d agreed a 3 day weekend trip with an LA muscleboy.

LA has always been tough. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, MscleLovr said:

Respectfully I disagree.

The provider said that he had “other clients interested” when he asked for a deposit last-minute. Like @Archbishop, I too might have seen this as a “red flag” - why the last-minute demand for money upfront? The demand could well have been a scam. 

Years ago, I’d agreed a 3 day weekend trip with an LA muscleboy. (We’d dated and been on trips before). 4 days prior to departure, he told me that another high-paying customer was offering $2500 for an overnight date that weekend. He asked me either to match the money he’d forego if our trip went as planned or he could be with me for 2 days only but he’d expect the same fee. I told him No and never saw him again. 

A provider asking for a deposit to hold a time slot is not the same as asking for a huge sum of money upfront. Were you paying for his company that weekend? 

[mds1]

10 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

How do you send the "deposit" - via pay pal or similar agency?

The only electronic method of payment I have is Zelle. I created a checking account and keep a couple thousand dollars in it just for this hobby.
Unfortunately, I think it shows my name to providers when I send money. That doesn’t bother me, but I know some folks don’t want their name out there and I can understand that. 
I don’t know about the other electronic method of payments available. Perhaps others can speak to those.

[IamAdamRose]

4 hours ago, Becket said:

I've never considered it before, but it would make sense that a bottom would ask for a deposit.  Nothing worse than spending all that time and effort getting nice and clean and then having to settle for a cucumber or banana. Or so I've been told.

& clients dont take this into consideration. Example i’m a femme/nonbinary provider so i’m not Gonna put on make up without a deposit of at least 15-20%…. Like i said in my previous post, Every New potential client IS A FLAKE in my eyes until proven otherwise. Provider’s wouldn’t ask for deposits if other flakes wouldn’t ruin it for the bunch, so dont blame the providers

[coriolis888]

3 hours ago, mds1 said:

The only electronic method of payment I have is Zelle. I created a checking account and keep a couple thousand dollars in it just for this hobby.
Unfortunately, I think it shows my name to providers when I send money. That doesn’t bother me, but I know some folks don’t want their name out there and I can understand that. 
I don’t know about the other electronic method of payments available. Perhaps others can speak to those.

Thank you for the answer. 

However, having to disclose my real name with the transmittal is a turn off to me.  

If I get to know the escort, my real name is okay.  However, because of the work I do, I cannot have my real name transmitted to an escort.  

Losing anonymity is a good reason not to send "deposits" that might be a scam of the escort.  

[+ DrownedBoy]

8 hours ago, Becket said:

I've never considered it before, but it would make sense that a bottom would ask for a deposit.  Nothing worse than spending all that time and effort getting nice and clean and then having to settle for a cucumber or banana. Or so I've been told.

I strongly agree, if there's a lot of prep work.

However, this does apply to providers too - it's not like only clients are bottoms. And if an escort is too late, the Viagra wears off. Both of us have preparations, and I'll report, without delay, any escort who does the same to me.

[Archbishop]

On 3/4/2023 at 6:41 AM, NYXboy said:

this is so interesting. So if he said to the other interested parties "sorry I am booked at that time" then you cancel last minute- he has missed out on both bookings. 

The fact that you don't even see that, and instead chose to be offended is pretty wild to me! 

I think the provider probably dodged a bullet with you here. if you were serious about the booking you wouldn't mind sending a $20- $50 deposit to lock it in. 

Whenever a provider tells me he has other clients interested in my appointment time, I always give it up to avoid conflict with the provider. It happens all of the time. 

[BuffaloKyle]

I've seen lately on provider pages as well that in lieu of a deposit that if another provider on rentmen can verify you're a serious client that they'll waive the deposit fee. I'd rather go that route or suggest it as an alternative option with a provider.

Edited March 5, 2023 by BuffaloKyle

[+ FrankR]

7 minutes ago, BuffaloKyle said:

I've seen lately on provider pages as well that in lieu of a deposit that if another provider on rentmen can verify you're a serious client that they'll waive the deposit fee. I'd rather go that route or suggest it as an alternative option with a provider.

I guess everyone feels differently about deposits and verification. Not sure I would be comfortable reaching out to a provider for a reference to satisfy another provider.  Usually when a provider asks for a deposit “i am busy, reserve your spot now to avoid disappointment” it feels like I am talking to Vince and he’s trying to sell me a ShamWow.  My standard reply: Sounds like you have your hands full with your current schedule. Maybe we can meet another time when you are not so busy. 

[BuffaloKyle]

2 minutes ago, FrankR said:

I guess everyone feels differently about deposits and verification. Not sure I would be comfortable reaching out to a provider for a reference to satisfy another provider.  Usually when a provider asks for a deposit “i am busy, reserve your spot now to avoid disappointment” it feels like I am talking to Vince and he’s trying to sell me a ShamWow.  My standard reply: Sounds like you have your hands full with your current schedule. Maybe we can meet another time when you are not so busy. 

I've also seen on a provider's page that they require a verification. It just depends too on who you have as a reference. I know one guy that I have hired would be totally fine with it.

[mds1]

3 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

I've seen lately on provider pages as well that in lieu of a deposit that if another provider on rentmen can verify you're a serious client that they'll waive the deposit fee. I'd rather go that route or suggest it as an alternative option with a provider.

The most recent provider I hired initially asked for a deposit, but then said it was OK. During our time together, he mentioned that he ran my phone number (we had been texting) through some verification, and it said that I was an actual person who is valid (hence he didn’t insist on the deposit). I’m not sure what that is, but from what I’ve read on here, it seems like there is a provider’s version of our board to list good/bad clients. Anyone heard of this? 

[+ DrownedBoy]

1 hour ago, mds1 said:

The most recent provider I hired initially asked for a deposit, but then said it was OK. During our time together, he mentioned that he ran my phone number (we had been texting) through some verification, and it said that I was an actual person who is valid (hence he didn’t insist on the deposit). I’m not sure what that is, but from what I’ve read on here, it seems like there is a provider’s version of our board to list good/bad clients. Anyone heard of this? 

Mr. Number: Mr. Number - Caller ID & Spam - Apps on Google Play

A lot of providers use this. Although I have to pay for a premium account, I signed up for it.

First, I'm able to look up clients ahead of time and check them as well.

Second, unscrupulous providers can leave fake warnings. When I signed up for the premium account, it turns out three of those b@stards left warnings. With my account, a single text message erased them all immediately.

[NYXboy]

On 3/4/2023 at 11:18 PM, coriolis888 said:

"The fact that you don't even see that, and instead chose to be offended is pretty wild to me! "

I do not think the author was offended.  I think he merely does not pay advance deposits (period). 

 

 

The author was def butt hurt and offended - if he wasn't he would have said "that's ok, let them take that time slot. I'm not comfortable with a deposit to lock down a meeting and I will see you the day after." or the next day or whenever.

But he did not - he canceled the whole event and came on here to complain about it.

He was offended, jealous, and nose out of joint. you pick one, two, or all three.  It makes me understand why the providers are doing this more now. 

[NYXboy]

16 hours ago, Archbishop said:

Whenever a provider tells me he has other clients interested in my appointment time, I always give it up to avoid conflict with the provider. It happens all of the time. 

and yet you cancelled and not resceduled.   sure jan. 

[+ nycman]

2 hours ago, NYXboy said:

It makes me understand why the providers are doing this more now. 

This is a non sequitur. 

It hurts their business….so they do it more? If that’s true, 
I only hope some of these young men are saving their
money to take some business classes. They need them. 

Edited March 6, 2023 by nycman

[NYXboy]

2 hours ago, nycman said:

This is a non sequitur. 

It hurts their business….so they do it more? If that’s true, 
I only hope some of these young men are saving their
money to take some business classes. They need them. 

If it hurt their business they wouldn't be doing it more, evidently, it is, in fact, having the opposite effect for it to be becoming a more regular occurrence. You obviously look down on providers and think they are SO beneath you, yet you desire them too so this must be why you are so bitter.

I can't see what the problem is with a small deposit - every time I use opentable to book a table at a restaurant, it takes my cc details and I am charged if I do not show,

When I book a hotel- if I don't show, I am charged (I recently even asked a hotel if I could change dates as a family emergency came up and was no longer able to go - they refused even with a week's notice) 

My hairdresser charges me a cancelation fee if I do not show up. 

When you buy tickets to a broadway show - you are still charged if you don't show up - because you have paid in advance! 

I actually think it makes sense and has good business acumen considering how much they are put out - people have mentioned how bottoms must do prep work - to just *hope* that the person they are dealing with is genuine and have respect for their time. But more than that, I think respect is the keyword here - something your comment makes me think you lack for the profession and don't consider it 'work',  when in fact you probably are really HARD work. 

I'm not saying give a large deposit to someone who has just created a profile, no reviews, no mention here on this forum, and wanting thousands of dollars - use your brain.  If you are going to spend $300-$400 on the booking why would you have an issue with a $50 deposit? You wouldn't. You wouldn't unless you were not serious - or you want to be able to flake out and don't respect or value their time.  

 

 

[+ FrankR]

18 minutes ago, NYXboy said:

If it hurt their business they wouldn't be doing it more, evidently, it is, in fact, having the opposite effect for it to be becoming a more regular occurrence. You obviously look down on providers and think they are SO beneath you, yet you desire them too so this must be why you are so bitter.

I can't see what the problem is with a small deposit - every time I use opentable to book a table at a restaurant, it takes my cc details and I am charged if I do not show,

When I book a hotel- if I don't show, I am charged (I recently even asked a hotel if I could change dates as a family emergency came up and was no longer able to go - they refused even with a week's notice) 

My hairdresser charges me a cancelation fee if I do not show up. 

When you buy tickets to a broadway show - you are still charged if you don't show up - because you have paid in advance! 

I actually think it makes sense and has good business acumen considering how much they are put out - people have mentioned how bottoms must do prep work - to just *hope* that the person they are dealing with is genuine and have respect for their time. But more than that, I think respect is the keyword here - something your comment makes me think you lack for the profession and don't consider it 'work',  when in fact you probably are really HARD work. 

I'm not saying give a large deposit to someone who has just created a profile, no reviews, no mention here on this forum, and wanting thousands of dollars - use your brain.  If you are going to spend $300-$400 on the booking why would you have an issue with a $50 deposit? You wouldn't. You wouldn't unless you were not serious - or you want to be able to flake out and don't respect or value their time.  

 

 

I can tell you from experience (which shapes my opinion) that 9 times out of 10 paying a deposit is a bad idea. Even if the guy has been on rentmn for years and have reviews. Even if he seems like a nice guy. Even if it is just $50. 9 times out of 10. I am a slow learner, but eventually even I can catch on.
 

You have clearly had a different experience. Good for you. Try not to be so hard on other people who have not had your experience with deposits. 
 

In case you were wondering: I have never flaked on an appointment. Have been late once or twice due to traffic. The one time I had to cancel, I paid the full rate.  In general, we are not out to play games - we don’t have the time or inclination. But we know that is not the case from the other side of the coin.  And, frankly, you won’t persuade us otherwise.