Why are the guys I book canceling?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Although it was referencing your post ….it wasn’t actually about you or intended to invalidate your experience.   I apologise for the unintentional invalidation. It was just meant to bring some levity to the conversation. It’s important to smile 😊. 

I don’t see things like that Dr Long quote because I guess I don’t need my subjective emotional experience to be validated, at least not on a forum like this! It’s my experience and I don’t mind whether someone else who I don’t know validates it or not, but I realise you’re different @Jarrod_Uncut so I’m really disappointed you didn’t like the joke and that I upset you. I’m resolved to not interact in future unless it’s to positively validate your point. 

It wasn’t that your humor isn’t  appreciated, it’s just I don’t feel it was the right thing to say in reference to the quote. 
 

I know you’re quite sensible and we’ve talked 1 on 1 about things, so I know your intentions aren’t bad. But there’s a time and place to crack jokes, and this wasn’t one of them. 

Edited November 15, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[pubic_assistance]

On 11/14/2022 at 2:21 PM, Jamie21 said:

Although it was referencing your post ….it wasn’t actually about you or intended to invalidate your experience.   I apologise for the unintentional invalidation. It was just meant to bring some levity to the conversation. It’s important to smile 😊. 

Cultural difference Jamie21.

I've seen this before.

Some cultures feel adding a bit of humor to soften the mood is polite and other cultural backgrounds...find it condescending.

I think you both need to understand this is a multi-cultural forum and sometimes intentions are misconstrued...no bad intentions.

[ericwinters]

On 11/5/2022 at 9:29 AM, DrownedBoy said:

I'm noticing that a lot too lately.

In the past few months, I had 2 guys cancel on me.

To be fair, though, they were both really young and others later told me they were unreliable.

As for doing same day - I just wish that if there are escorts who are ready to come "right now," they indicate it in their RM ad. I've texted waaaaay too many people with "Available" on their ad, who never bother answer (or do so a day or 2 late). I really can't find escorts who are that ready anymore.

So if they don't want to schedule ahead of time, and they don't want to come when called, what do you do?

I agree...

I guess for me I just move on. 

Interestingly when on the road providers often tell me they can meet midday but that rarely works for me as I'm with my business clients or doing touristy things.

I liked when I could call an agency and have the handler get it all set. Still miss Premier in Philly!

[+ Coolwave35]

1 hour ago, ericwinters said:

I liked when I could call an agency and have the handler get it all set. Still miss Premier in Philly!

This service still exists in parts of the world and it’s worth tracking down. 

[Jamie21]

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Cultural difference Jamie21.

I've seen this before.

Some cultures feel adding a bit of humor to soften the mood is polite and other cultural backgrounds...find it condescending.

I think you both need to understand this is a multi-cultural forum and sometimes intentions are misconstrued...no bad intentions.

Possibly! My culture is British, we use humour to defuse tension, and where people seem to be taking themselves too seriously, when we’re feeling anxious, when we want to make a serious point without appearing to be too clever, when we want to change the subject, when there’s no weather to talk about….actually we use it all the time. 

Yes it’s a friendly forum, well moderated and generally tolerant (unlike Twitter OMG). I like most of the exchanges! There’s a one or two contributors who I don’t engage with now though because it’s too difficult. 

 

[pubic_assistance]

15 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Possibly! My culture is British, we use humour to defuse tension, and where people seem to be taking themselves too seriously, when we’re feeling anxious, when we want to make a serious point without appearing to be too clever, when we want to change the subject, when there’s no weather to talk about….actually we use it all the time.

Same here. My family is mixed but the primary social structure was based on English standards of etiquette.

A lot of that kind of sweeping someone's feelings under the carpet is met with great offense by people of color who have had their voice suppressed for more than a century.

I have run into this more than once, and occasionally with friends who I've known for years.

 

[Jamie21]

53 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Same here. My family is mixed but the primary social structure was based on English standards of etiquette.

A lot of that kind of sweeping someone's feelings under the carpet is met with great offense by people of color who have had their voice suppressed for more than a century.

I have run into this more than once, and occasionally with friends who I've known for years.

 

Oh yes there’s a lot of sweeping feelings under the carpet in British culture. There’s good and bad to it, like anything. It makes people resilient; the carry on regardless attitude, but also distant and closed. 

I hate to cause offence (unless I intended to!!) so it makes one very careful about engaging with people in situations like this. If it’s clear that someone is likely to interpret things in ways that are fundamentally different to what was meant then I think it’s safest to just not engage with those conversations. I’d rather ignore than cause offence. 
 

 

 

[+ glycine]

On 11/5/2022 at 10:56 AM, NickInDenver said:

Thanks to everyone that has responded to me. Hoping to try again, or maybe I should just take the hint...?

i honestly doubt it was like personally against you, but i would say it probably meant they chose something else over you to do, so i would be salty and just get someone else

[italianboyph]

Guys can be flakey, nothing you're doing is wrong.