Do you find tip jars at parties tacky?

[spider]

On 8/7/2022 at 3:03 AM, jeezifonly said:

I’d rather have them dressed and hire a third to collect car keys to be returned after breathalyzer. 

For awhile hiring valet parking service for parties was a thing in our neighborhood. There was plenty of street parking so it just seemed like showing off. Then the crooks figured it out and they'd set up a parking service and then make off with the cars.

[Rudynate]

On 8/3/2022 at 11:33 AM, Unicorn said:

I hired two shirtless hunky bartenders to serve at an upcoming party. One of them told me he'd charge me less if I had a tip jar. I told him I'd pay extra, as I didn't want to have this tip jar, though if anyone wanted to put money in his G-string, I wouldn't discourage that. I can only remember one prior party I've been to where I saw a tip jar, and I found it somewhat tacky. What do you think of these tip jars at parties? Do you find that to be in good taste?

A long time ago, I worked as a captain for a high-end caterer.    A generous gratuity for the service staff was always built into the charge to the client for the function. It was required - not discretionary.  If the client wanted to tip more, they could, but they couldn't tip less than the required service charge.  It just wouldn't have happened that a bartender would, on his own initiative, put  out a tip jar, or even ask about it for that matter.  

 

Shirtless bartenders????  - That's so 70's.

[Epigonos]

I find this topic highly interesting. I entertain a great deal. I never have my parties catered as I love doing all the cooking myself. Most of my parties are small sit-down dinners with six to eight guests. My place is small, about twelve hundred square feet plus a small-nice patio. Three or four times a year, however, I do host large gatherings usually forty to fifty attendees. With that many guests, in my small place, the dinner is served buffet style. I set up an elaborate drink table in the patio and guests make their own drinks thus they can make them as weak or strong as they like. I have one wonderful friend who, I have learned, is not happy being a guest. She prefers to be involved thus she helps me by setting up the buffet table and seeing that the drink table remains well stocked. She thoroughly enjoys being “useful” and makes my life a great deal easier. I do not even mind doing all the clean-up after the party, it gives me time to wind down and relax. A week or so after the party I take my friend out to dinner to a nice restaurant where we enjoy dissecting the party discussing things to keep and things to discard for my next gathering – great fun for the both of us.

One of the highlights of the Palm Springs Weekend, for me, is preparing and serving nearly all the food for the Sunday Pool Party. I stay at our hosts condominium and am thus able to do all the prep work on Friday afternoon and all-day Saturday. I start cooking early Sunday morning. Sometimes I think our host would like to kill me as I become very possessive of his kitchen.

P.S. Now to answer the specific question on this thread. I absolutely loathe tip jars under any and all circumstances, including at Starbucks. I am a very generous tipper and do NOT need to be reminded to do so.

 

Edited August 10, 2022 by Epigonos

[pubic_assistance]

10 hours ago, Epigonos said:

. I set up an elaborate drink table in the patio and guests make their own drinks thus they can make them as weak or strong as they like.

Both my wife and I like to cook and also prefer to prepare all the food when we entertain large groups . The one thing we ALWAYS do is hire a bartender.  I couldn't imagine anything more tacky at a private party than to have a tip jar sitting there sending a message that "these two are so cheap I am relying on tips".

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 8/5/2022 at 7:59 PM, BaronArtz said:

When I am a guest at a private event that offers an open bar, I do tip the bar staff well, discreetly and early on.  It guarantees me faster service and stiffer drinks.  And it is a nice thing to do, it shows appreciation. 

Thanks for sharing this!  This is why I love this forum; because I learn useful life lessons like this one.  Next open bar, I'm remembering this.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

16 hours ago, Epigonos said:

Now to answer the specific question on this thread. I absolutely loathe tip jars under any and all circumstances, including at Starbucks. I am a very generous tipper and do NOT need to be reminded to do so.

I agree 💯.  The ONLY place a tip jar is acceptable is for a piano player at a bar or lounge or street musicians, whose hands are otherwise occupied and cannot stop to accept a tip.  Bartenders, cocktail waitress, taxi and shuttle drivers, and fast food cashiers do not need tip jars.  If I really wanted to give them a tip, their hands are free to accept it while I'm paying them for my service.

But a tip request for guests at a private event is especially offensive.  It's right up there with inviting someone to your house for dinner, then asking them to pay for half of the groceries after they arrive.