What to do with clients that cancel last minute?

[Jamie21]

8 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

This is the way.

It's not about quantity, but quality.  Lower numbers, higher rates, better experience for all involved.

It's not easy to make that jump, but when you do, it changes escort life drastically.

Agree!! You pick clients as much as clients pick you. You learn how to market to attract quality clients, you learn how to provide a better quality service than the average (actually that’s not difficult; there’s lots of amateurs), you learn how to get clients to come back. High quality repeat clients are your core business. Get those and you’re doing great. 

[miserybeme9]

 they’re too scared, busted a nut already to save money, never intended to meet you, or actually had real shit happen, it don’t matter. It sucks. When there’s no contract you’re really throwing the dice. I don’t recommend a deposit. It’s limiting yourself. The amount of people that are not into exchanging virtual money due to whatever reason is real. unless you’re traveling a far distance I wouldn’t suggest a deposit. Use your instincts dude. Talk to people on the phone. Get a vibe and have no expectations. Get a real job so you aren’t dependent on the gig. A lucrative activity has its pros and cons this is one of them. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/8/2022 at 6:54 AM, Midwest_Man said:

I have a question for Jarrod and other traveling providers.  If you want the client to pay cancellation fees if they cancel do you pay the client a cancellation fee when you advertise that you're going to be in a city and set up appointments but then decide not to go to that city for whatever reason?   Upon scheduling the appointment the client may have passed up other plans, taken a day off work, arranged to travel to that city as well, etc. 

 

Good questions, but all very easy to answer. And I’ll tell you exactly:

#1: if I advertised in a city: I don’t even PLAN to go UNLESS I have appointment INTEREST set up. So me scheduling appointments in another city without PLANS to go, wouldn’t even exist in my reality. You’re making a hypothetical assumption that doesn’t necessarily apply to me, but rather a variable among other providers as a whole that you may have heard or experienced from other providers who have nothing to do with me.

In addition: I always ask clients very basic info which includes an opening for them to share any details regarding if they’re visiting specifically for the session, what THEIR schedule is (which will also open the door to share or mention work plans which they 99% of the time will do because you can’t answer the question fully without including). 

In the rare case that I do have to cancel a visit that was SPECIFICALLY BOOKED for the client, I try to ensure I accommodate them in the future or give access to my content, which is technically a “cancellation fee”….because they aren’t contacting me for money, they’re contacting for the other thing. That’s where #2, you are getting it wrong from the jump. They’re in it for goods, I’m in it for money. 
 

Has a company ever actually paid a customer for something he didn’t actually buy? No. Does a company (e.g. custom bakery shop, wedding) actually charge a customer for some of the legwork that has to be done PRIOR to the actual event? Yes. 

 

19 hours ago, miserybeme9 said:

 they’re too scared, busted a nut already to save money, never intended to meet you, or actually had real shit happen, it don’t matter. It sucks. When there’s no contract you’re really throwing the dice. I don’t recommend a deposit. It’s limiting yourself. The amount of people that are not into exchanging virtual money due to whatever reason is real. unless you’re traveling a far distance I wouldn’t suggest a deposit. Use your instincts dude. Talk to people on the phone. Get a vibe and have no expectations. Get a real job so you aren’t dependent on the gig. A lucrative activity has its pros and cons this is one of them. 

Deposits don’t limit anything for me, except headache and bullshit fuckers. Which is, exactly the point. 
 

Instincts really don’t mean much when dealing with someone you’ve never met. Instincts can say no, no, no or yes, yes, yes…and the person can still do exactly opposite of what instinct would say to do. 
 

Also, I don’t even talk on the phone with clients anymore. Most clients who call me, get sent to voicemail. Today: I had 2 phone calls and NEITHER were any good. Case I. Point:

 

Caller #1 (newbie)

 

Never replied back. Of course, doesn’t sound like I’m the first:

 

Then another call today, which I swiftly declined and sent to voicemail. Was a client I met previously. Thank Gawd I didn’t pick up 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

 

He had the wrong number, and apologized for the mistake. But still…it’s exact reason I don’t bother answering phone calls. I may answer a call once every few months, but with these 2 examples above: I will probably never answer an unexpected phone call on my client phone ever again.

 

In this biz: lots of people have advice/suggestions/opinions/tidbits but yet few have actual experience day in/day out. I told one local guy few weeks ago: unless I ask you for advice, don’t tell me how to run my life. I don’t care if you’ve been an escort for 30 years: you and me are not the same person. Some people try to give advice to others from their perspective, which may come from a privileged/opportunity stance but not one that addresses the circumstances of a particular person.

Edited July 26, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

9 hours ago, miserybeme9 said:

 they’re too scared, busted a nut already to save money, never intended to meet you, or actually had real shit happen, it don’t matter. It sucks. When there’s no contract you’re really throwing the dice. I don’t recommend a deposit. It’s limiting yourself. The amount of people that are not into exchanging virtual money due to whatever reason is real. unless you’re traveling a far distance I wouldn’t suggest a deposit. Use your instincts dude. Talk to people on the phone. Get a vibe and have no expectations. Get a real job so you aren’t dependent on the gig. A lucrative activity has its pros and cons this is one of them. 

Hmm I agree with most of that except the last part. Sex work is a real job. It’s probably unconventional but it is real. Nor is it lucrative, not when you consider all the time involved beyond the actual time with the client. 
 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

30 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Hmm I agree with most of that except the last part. Sex work is a real job. It’s probably unconventional but it is real. Nor is it lucrative, not when you consider all the time involved beyond the actual time with the client. 
 

Anytime someone includes “real job” while referencing “escorting” in the same sentence, I just know they aren’t somebody to have a conversation with. I’ve even seen clients on Adam4Adam use that terminology in their profile, and expect me to respond to them. 
 

And since some posters want to be smart ass and ask fucking rhetorical questions, let me ask: how much would THEY charge to **** someone who wasn’t particularly their type?

Because last time I checked: a dude during a hypothetical pool party conversation was like, “yeah for a $100,000, I’ll sleep with ANYBODY “ while adding adjectives such as fat and ugly behind it (not my words, his).So yah, $300/400 is a unprecedented discount lol.

That’s where clients go wrong when they try to act like we owe them a certain price, especially regulars who get used to paying only so much. A average guy ” WITH A REAL JOB” my caliber, would charge them $1,000 or more. If money would even buy in the 1st place, because if they’re making money at a real job, why would they want to sleep with somebody who’s so far from the type, for less than their weekly paycheck? MoFos out here can be so entitled and ungrateful 😤 (not you, them).

Edited July 26, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[miserybeme9]

20 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Anytime someone includes “real job” while referencing “escorting” in the same sentence, I just know they aren’t somebody to have a conversation with. I’ve even seen clients on Adam4Adam use that terminology in their profile, and expect me to respond to them. 
 

And since some posters want to be smart ass and ask fucking rhetorical questions, let me ask: how much would THEY charge to **** someone who wasn’t particularly their type?

Because last time I checked: a dude during a hypothetical pool party conversation was like, “yeah for a $100,000, I’ll sleep with ANYBODY “ while adding adjectives such as fat and ugly behind it (not my words, his).So yah, $300/400 is a unprecedented discount lol.

That’s where clients go wrong when they try to act like we owe them a certain price, especially regulars who get used to paying only so much. A average guy ” WITH A REAL JOB” my caliber, would charge them $1,000 or more. If money would even buy in the 1st place, because if they’re making money at a real job, why would they want to sleep with somebody who’s so far from the type, for less than their weekly paycheck? MoFos out here can be so entitled and ungrateful 😤 (not you,

Difference is a 9 to 5 is stable income that you know will always be there where in escorting you could make 4k in a week or 0 in a week. If you aren’t dependent on the gig because you don’t need it to pay your bills it becomes less stressful when you get flaked on 100%.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Quote

Difference is a 9 to 5 is stable income that you know will always be there where in escorting you could make 4k in a week or 0 in a week. If you aren’t dependent on the gig because you don’t need it to pay your bills it becomes less stressful when you get flaked on 100%.

I disagree. I never felt Corporate 9 to 5s are stable when someone else has the authority to say "your fired/laid off". I wasn't born yesterday. Cases in point: 

 

 

And...

 

And...

 

 

 

 

Edited July 27, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[jtwalker]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I disagree. I never felt Corporate 9 to 5s are stable when someone else has the authority to say "your fired/laid off". I wasn't born yesterday. Cases in point: 

 

 

And...

 

And...

 

 

 

 

I wanted to mark this milestone as I think this is the first time Jarrod and I have ever agreed about anything.

The perceived stability in working for someone else is a lie.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

10 hours ago, jtwalker said:

I wanted to mark this milestone as I think this is the first time Jarrod and I have ever agreed about anything.

The perceived stability in working for someone else is a lie.

It’s stable, until it’s not. I’ve worked at enough “real” jobs to know. Unless you’re in a position to be that indispensable person who can’t easily be replaced. 
 

Of course having 2 going at once does provide cushion, but people often fail to understand not everyone has the time or desire to juggle 2 or more lines of work. I have a client who owns a grocery store, but he’s ready to retire and travel and see the country. Most can’t do both. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

It’s stable, until it’s not. I’ve worked at enough “real” jobs to know. Unless you’re in a position to be that indispensable person who can’t easily be replaced. 
 

Of course having 2 going at once does provide cushion, but people often fail to understand not everyone has the time or desire to juggle 2 or more lines of work. I have a client who owns a grocery store, but he’s ready to retire and travel and see the country. Most can’t do both. 

Yup. Whenever I get a complaint that "everything costs more," I respond, "I know, but my firm sure isn't giving inflation hikes. In fact they're firing."

And I've also learned the hard way that there's no such thing as an indispensable employee. You might have indispensable technical skills, but the layoffs are generally made by HR generalists or non-technical managers who can't tell their a@@es from a hole in the ground.

The providers I see on this forum tend to be good independent businessmen. Most providers are anything but.

[spidir]

I recently canceled an appointment on short notice. It was the only time that I recall ever doing so. The guy politely called me out on it and made a fair point. So I met him and paid for the missed meeting. He was gracious enough to join me for lunch too.

[jtwalker]

I flaked once and just sponsored the guy's ad to make up for it.  Seemed like a fair enough cancellation fee.

[coriolis888]

On 7/6/2022 at 12:53 AM, MscleLovr said:

I can think of 3 escorts who cancelled on me last-minute. It’s frustrating and disappointing, but I guess it’s just an aspect of the business. 

Some providers think it is okay if they cancel or no-show.  However, if a client does that, hell for the client.  

As mscleLovr said in reference to no show clients, it’s just an aspect of the business. 

[GregWillingAble]

Clients flaking is part of the course for sure. I've had a few last minute cancellations / no-shows who suddenly ghost, but I always ensure I've had a proper phone conversation after any initial arrangements by text. This tends to help ween out the likely flakes before anyone has really lost anything. 

I've had a few clients offer deposits before (usually for longer, niche bookings or outcalls that involve travel costs which is appreciated), but I've tended to avoid asking for them personally for standard hour incalls and other basic arrangements. I've heard so many tales from clients who've been ripped off my escorts demanding deposits and it infuriates me.

Sure, there are clients trying to take advantage of the escort which hopefully we are all sensible and experienced enough to see a mile-off and avoid. But, we (the sex workers) are in a more threatening and intimidating position to a nervous, naive client sometimes and it seems to becoming more common for supposed (usually new) sex-workers to exploit of that, which just gives us all a shitty reputation. 

If you take the time to offer reassurance and sincerity before hand, most of the time a client will do the same if their circumstances change and they have to cancel / postpone. 

 

 

 

[rn901]

On 7/5/2022 at 7:48 PM, Yoyotonodo said:

I think it is fair to reimburse for the session that was missed last minute if the provider already travel or made plan for the time. After all he is happy and will make you even happier in bed. 

Believe it or not, I might actually think higher of a client if they reimburse for a cancellation than if they didn't cancel at all. Well, I don't know. It does leave a good impression though. It speaks to their character and what kind of person they are. They are going out of their way to do something that is completely unnecessary and thoughtful. It is an act of a gentleman. It shows that they're mindful of other people's time besides their own and are genuinely remorseful if they caused an inconvenience to a person. I always take note when clients do this and if it is a client I never have met then I take it as a green light as this is someone who is trustful and dependable. I highly recommend clients do this if they are to cancel. Even a modest compensation goes a long way. 

Edited September 10, 2022 by rn901

[rn901]

To answer the original question, it depends on the circumstances and the way they act when canceling. It may also depend on how last minute the cancellation is. If you're canceling while I'm already on my way to the meeting point, then screw you. Generally, I usually do a three-strike rule. One time is okay. Two consecutive times is pushing it. Three consecutive times is we're done here. My dick, I decide what I do with it. 

Edited September 10, 2022 by rn901

[Jamie21]

4 minutes ago, rn901 said:

Generally, I usually do a three-strike rule.

You’re generous. If they are a new client and cancel last minute once, I give them an opportunity to book again if their explanation seems genuine (you can usually tell). In fact you can usually get a good idea about the chances they’ll cancel or even no show from the very first interaction. But anyway, after one chance if they mess around a second time that’s the end, I will refuse to take a booking. 

[rn901]

24 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

You’re generous. If they are a new client and cancel last minute once, I give them an opportunity to book again if their explanation seems genuine (you can usually tell). In fact you can usually get a good idea about the chances they’ll cancel or even no show from the very first interaction. But anyway, after one chance if they mess around a second time that’s the end, I will refuse to take a booking. 

I've actually been accused of being unreasonable with my cancellation policy. Of course, as we all know, complete and utter nonsense sometimes goes with the territory in this line of work. 

Edited September 10, 2022 by rn901

[Jarrod_Uncut]

57 minutes ago, rn901 said:

To answer the original question, it depends on the circumstances and the way they act when canceling. It may also depend on how last minute the cancellation is. If you're canceling while I'm already on my way to the meeting point, then screw you. Generally, I usually do a three-strike rule. One time is okay. Two consecutive times is pushing it. Three consecutive times is we're done here. My dick, I decide what I do with it. 

This is a good policy, but idk…
 

Cancellations for us (or me) tend to come with a lot of inconvenience. It’s hard to just brush and shrug something off. I admit personally: I can be bad at keeping doctors/etc appointments here and there. However, they often schedule them so far in advance, and it’s more hassle trying to “be there” versus just seeing me with a day or 2 notice. 
 

Another thing that happens every so often: you get to the client’s place and nobody answers. This has happened a few times, but fortunately many have hit me back  and apologize, “sorry I fell asleep/was downstairs, etc “ There’s been times I’ve driven long distance to hear that, and I’m just hit with a wave of disbelief 🫢 

But imagine if they didn’t? That is unforgivable. Have that happen enough times, I wouldn’t want to give a 2nd or 3rd time.

It does surprise me though how places in the business world handle cancellations. Most seem pretty lenient. However they often are just stationary in an office and have clients booked on a schedule the whole day. Not us.

Edited September 10, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[rn901]

21 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

This is a good policy, but idk…
 

Cancellations for us (or me) tend to come with a lot of inconvenience. It’s hard to just brush and shrug something off. I admit personally: I can be bad at keeping doctors/etc appointments here and there. However, they often schedule them so far in advance, and it’s more hassle trying to “be there” versus just seeing me with a day or 2 notice. 
 

Another thing that happens every so often: you get to the client’s place and nobody answers. This has happened a few times, but fortunately many have hit me back  and apologize, “sorry I fell asleep/was downstairs, etc “ There’s been times I’ve driven long distance to hear that, and I’m just hit with a wave of disbelief 🫢 

But imagine if they didn’t? That is unforgivable. Have that happen enough times, I wouldn’t want to give a 2nd or 3rd time.

It does surprise me though how places in the business world handle cancellations. Most seem pretty lenient. However they often are just stationary in an office and have clients booked on a schedule the whole day. Not us.

The beauty with this job is we get to decide what works best for us individually. We have that deciding power. We are not beholden to give our time and body to someone we don't wish to.  

[coriolis888]

6 hours ago, rn901 said:

The beauty with this job is we get to decide what works best for us individually. We have that deciding power. We are not beholden to give our time and body to someone we don't wish to.  

Not always.

When the economy is tanking, flexibility takes over.  Sometimes, as Plato once said, "Necessity is the mother of invention."  

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, coriolis888 said:

Not always.

When the economy is tanking, flexibility takes over.  Sometimes, as Plato once said, "Necessity is the mother of invention."  

It's been pointed out by people smarter and more experienced than myself that escorts will rarely drastically lower their rates or expectations. They are more likely to leave the industry or add other sources of income. 

[rn901]

8 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

Not always.

When the economy is tanking, flexibility takes over.  Sometimes, as Plato once said, "Necessity is the mother of invention."  

Yeah no. Even if the economy tanks I still get to decide who I meet. That's a perk that comes with the job to the dismay of many who wish or happen to think otherwise. Deal with it.

Edited September 11, 2022 by rn901

[rn901]

9 hours ago, Dante said:

It's been pointed out by people smarter and more experienced than myself that escorts will rarely drastically lower their rates or expectations. They are more likely to leave the industry or add other sources of income. 

I was humored when I read on here a while back of some clients who don't like it when escorts have alternative sources of income and financial independence outside the job. That told me everything I needed to know about some of the personalities who inhabit these spaces. 

Edited September 11, 2022 by rn901

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

11 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

Not always.

When the economy is tanking, flexibility takes over.  Sometimes, as Plato once said, "Necessity is the mother of invention."  

You're not wrong, but it's also situational.

The smart guys are the ones who save, invest and can easily weather a downturn.

If you devalue the product, the consumer never looks at it the same way again.  

Or, as former escort Bryan Young once told me, 'You don't go to the flea market looking for Loro Piana.'