Dudes who don’t finish sex…

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I’m sure this probably happens to everyone at some point, but this seems to be an almost predictable habit out in the hookup and client world.

You know, when you’re getting into something…either been sucking or switch to fucking, and then 10 minutes into it the person just decides they can’t finish for whatever reason or not. And I’m not talking about cumming, but just not even either person getting off.

I had that happen with a client recently, and even though I was reimbursed the 2 hour session we planned, it still had me a bit miffed. For one it was a same day booking, and I had gotten everything laid out and ready. Things were going good when like a couple minutes into the actual “act”, I guess he overdid the “relaxer” and decided to call it off.

I’m just like, why do people do that? I can understand not wanting to cum for whatever reason, but I feel ending something in the heat of things is awkward and a bit insensitive. I try to tell whoever it is to give it a few minutes and do something different, either Massage, or chat. Sometimes it helps, but not always.

Last year I had a guy who backed out like 3-4 times during the session. He would stop, say he’s not comfortable, then continue. Then stop, and do it again. I was patient, but getting annoyed. Finally, I just let him go. It makes me feel like someone is either sampling, or simply not at a level to communicate enough to just enjoy the moment. 

Edited June 9, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[maninsoma]

Your last paragraph is interesting.  Assuming it involved a client, I'm not sure I understand your response.  Surely some guys hire because they have some sexual issues and it's easier for them to be with a professional who (hopefully) will help them figure things out.  It sounds to me like this guy was into you (he wouldn't have resumed repeatedly otherwise), but for whatever reason had a hard time letting go and just enjoying the moment.  If his discomfort was due to bottoming, maybe that's something he's still working on.  If it was just discomfort being with someone in an intimate way in general, that's an even bigger struggle.  I guess I don't understand why any provider would get annoyed with a client like that instead of simply recognizing that he was in a position to help a guy explore intimacy in whatever way he could. 

I could understand getting annoyed and wanting to end things if it was a hookup.  In a provider-client situation, though, I'd suggest that having an open mind and heart when with someone who seems to be struggling is just part of an escort's job.  Unless, of course, you don't want to provide a service to clients like that and simply view your service as giving a "wham bam thank you man" to horny men.

[Jamie21]

My view is if that’s what they want, or if that’s what they can manage in the moment, then that’s fine by me. Of course I’m concerned if they suddenly want to stop: Did I do something wrong? Are they ok? Is there something causing anxiety? If he (or she) is happy to talk about it then we do.

For some people the act of hiring someone is a big step, and in the heat of the moment it can all get a bit overwhelming. Feelings of guilt, shame or just performance anxiety can come out, it’s understandable given today’s judgemental society. If I can help by talking it through with them then I see that as part of the job. It doesn’t upset me, in fact I see it as a compliment if they feel they can share these things with me. 

[CalTec]

I remember something similar happening to me, the client was clearly not mentally present and was staring off into space.  I later found out from him that he was in the middle of a messy divorce.  Turned out alright for him in the end and saw him numerous times after, much more present and HAPPY!  Sometimes you never know what's going on in someone's head and what they're dealing with... 😐

[Jarrod_Uncut]

6 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Your last paragraph is interesting.  Assuming it involved a client, I'm not sure I understand your response.  Surely some guys hire because they have some sexual issues and it's easier for them to be with a professional who (hopefully) will help them figure things out.  It sounds to me like this guy was into you (he wouldn't have resumed repeatedly otherwise), but for whatever reason had a hard time letting go and just enjoying the moment.  If his discomfort was due to bottoming, maybe that's something he's still working on.  If it was just discomfort being with someone in an intimate way in general, that's an even bigger struggle.  I guess I don't understand why any provider would get annoyed with a client like that instead of simply recognizing that he was in a position to help a guy explore intimacy in whatever way he could. 

I could understand getting annoyed and wanting to end things if it was a hookup.  In a provider-client situation, though, I'd suggest that having an open mind and heart when with someone who seems to be struggling is just part of an escort's job.  Unless, of course, you don't want to provide a service to clients like that and simply view your service as giving a "wham bam thank you man" to horny men.

It was a client (and yeah, he wanted to bottom but wasn’t very experienced). It’s not so much I was getting “annoyed” in the sense of getting annoyed. It’s just the communication factor, or lack of. Also the back and forth as well.

I don’t mind helping a new person get acquired into a situation. However, they have to just allow the situation to play out. If someone is being dismissive, that doesn’t leave room to do so.

There have been times I been able to “get someone on track”, but it usually involved some level of communication on their end about what’s expected. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

6 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

My view is if that’s what they want, or if that’s what they can manage in the moment, then that’s fine by me. Of course I’m concerned if they suddenly want to stop: Did I do something wrong? Are they ok? Is there something causing anxiety? If he (or she) is happy to talk about it then we do.

For some people the act of hiring someone is a big step, and in the heat of the moment it can all get a bit overwhelming. Feelings of guilt, shame or just performance anxiety can come out, it’s understandable given today’s judgemental society. If I can help by talking it through with them then I see that as part of the job. It doesn’t upset me, in fact I see it as a compliment if they feel they can share these things with me. 

And that’s good, however you mention: WHEN they CAN share these things. If there’s no sharing, it’s not a whole lot to be done.

And despite some of it being those things mentioned, others I can’t always tell what’s going on. Some I think: they get off on the hype of talking about the sex, but during the actual act: they don’t allow themselves to work up to the climax. They just want to jump in strong, but not go thru.

That’s also why I start majority all my sessions with a massage. Seems anytime something starts with ***, it’s not likely to last long or be that great. Letting the client pick the course of things: I find is not reliable lol. 

Edited June 8, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

37 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

That’s also why I start majority all my sessions with a massage.

Absolutely! My sessions are massage. Massage is like a seduction. If they’re not up for it to develop then they can still enjoy a great massage (done on a table, properly). If they are keen to explore then massage is a great way to allow that to happen naturally. 

Yes I agree if the client is being hesitant and isn’t wanting to discuss why then there’s not a lot you can do, just be supportive and go with it. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

From a client perspective, sometimes with an erotic massage I get too relaxed and it's hard to get into a "happy ending." I've noticed this happens more as I've gotten older, and also if I'm stressed out or haven't slept well. I always reassure the provider that it's not anything to do with them. Some guys take it better than others. 

On the other hand, I've had a few escort hires where guy couldn't get or stay hard. I would never shame someone over that, but it's very frustrating to pay someone and them be unable to perform. Some guys are very creative about that situation which is great. Others are not. 

I think the issue is communication as @Jarrod_Uncut points out. I try to be very clear with providers what I'm looking for and what I don't want. Usually, that's great. Other times, it feels like the provider is hedging (particularly when setting up the appointment) in case they don't find me attractive. I'm not personally offended by any of that - chemistry, and physical attraction are hard to gauge in advance. We've had a couple of hires where I wasn't that into the guy once we were together. It happens, and there's no reason not to discuss it except discomfort. 

[Jamie21]

Sorry but I can’t help thinking how wonderfully intriguing the title of this topic is….“Finish sex” sounds like it’s a computer game 🙂. Yep, I finished Super Mario Bros. 

[jeezifonly]

Anyone working independently as as an “experience-provider” - including mediums, personal assistants, trainers, bodyworkers, and escorts - knows that dealing with people, and many of their issues, is the hard part of selling personalized service. It’s not sustainable business model if reading signals doesn’t come easy.