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I feel like I may be getting conned…

xyz48B

By xyz48B
in The Deli

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nycman
nycman

Good. Good. And we’re off….. That’s about 10 years away in "escort time"….just FYI. Who didn’t see this coming? You’re smarter than this…..don’t a moron You a

purplekow
purplekow

General rule.  If you think you are being conned, you have already been conned.  Limit the damage.  

Alex93108
Alex93108

This happened to me personally right around March 2020 . I was making my way back from London ( again ) and around that time the UK was still very much open but not closed ( pre lockdown)  . I was mor

xyz48B Veteran

xyz48B

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17 minutes ago, studchaser said:

Make sure that it is clear what the money is intended for and ask beforehand what the providers intends to do with deposit should trip be cancelled or postponed.

This is good. I’ve had guys refund money. Which made me think highly if them. 

18 minutes ago, studchaser said:

The client should however be prepared to not see that money again.

Yes. Sadly. There are cons. I know some here may not believe it, but I do like to believe the best of people. Same with escorts.

It really comes down to the gut. In cases like this. And experience. There would be less hesitation on my part if he was someone I’ve hired before, multiple times. I do think it’s worth pointing out again that he didn’t directly ask for money til we meet, at least not for his current situation. He mentioned it, which was likely a hint, but I’ve had guys who brashly just ask when they’re “dealing with issues.” One guy asked because he needed to post bail for his dad. Pass and block. Scam.

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maninsoma Grand Master

maninsoma

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He has no one he knows he can borrow some money from?  He has no clients where he lives where he can book some business and make some money? 

Assuming the guy is legit, if he is living that much on the margin I'm not inclined to believe that a stranger should send him money.  He needs to get a regular job, work on his skills so he is making money as an escort, work on his budgeting skills so he isn't broke, or whatever else he might need to do. 

But I'm with most of the others who've chimed in so far.  The guy is likely just a con man.  If you are a sucker and send him a deposit, you will likely not see him or your money again.

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MiamiLooker Grand Master

MiamiLooker

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18 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I know I said I don’t pay deposits. I like to buy other things that show good faith, but I got burnt badly with deposit once (long story) so I don’t do it anymore.

That said, a new guy I’m looking to see in three weeks mentioned in texting tonight he’s stressed about cash for upcoming travel. I will be in a better position to help him come March 1. I suggested possibly giving him some money before we meet if he took it off my “bill.” But I wonder if I’m falling for a trick that will burn me.

We’ve chatted on the phone and he sounds genuine. We text, not a lot but maybe once a day 5-6 texts. He seems busy/distracted but that’s potentially his age and other factors. I don’t expect him to dedicate his day to texting me. I feel comfortable by the interaction I’ve had with him, but when I step back, I’m like…Are you falling victim again?

I generally like to be good to providers. I've found it pays in the end, and it’s also just the decent thing to do. But I also have to look out for me…

Comments, thoughts, opinions. Maybe some advice…I’m asking for it this time 😉 But please be reasonable and polite…

How will you feel if you lose the money? How will you feel if you think you've been conned again?

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marylander1940 Grand Master

marylander1940

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21 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I know I said I don’t pay deposits. I like to buy other things that show good faith, but I got burnt badly with deposit once (long story) so I don’t do it anymore.

That said, a new guy I’m looking to see in three weeks mentioned in texting tonight he’s stressed about cash for upcoming travel. I will be in a better position to help him come March 1. I suggested possibly giving him some money before we meet if he took it off my “bill.” But I wonder if I’m falling for a trick that will burn me.

We’ve chatted on the phone and he sounds genuine. We text, not a lot but maybe once a day 5-6 texts. He seems busy/distracted but that’s potentially his age and other factors. I don’t expect him to dedicate his day to texting me. I feel comfortable by the interaction I’ve had with him, but when I step back, I’m like…Are you falling victim again?

I generally like to be good to providers. I've found it pays in the end, and it’s also just the decent thing to do. But I also have to look out for me…

Comments, thoughts, opinions. Maybe some advice…I’m asking for it this time 😉 But please be reasonable and polite…

if he's a successful escort he'll figure it out how to get money, save it, pay his bills on time, save for the future, etc. 

If you're not comfortable sending him some money upfront... don't do it! Pay him after the deed! 

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guru68 Veteran

guru68

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2 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Rolled change will make it with me Sweetie. UPS/FEDEX to my local city park for pickup; just address the package to HOT STUFF. They know me. . 

Pennies, pennies, everywhere. I knew I should have marked that box as "fragile".

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xyz48B Veteran

xyz48B

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4 hours ago, PapaTony said:

It’s refreshing to see reading comprehension remains evident with some. 

I despair of that a lot. Sometimes I write things that in my opinion are incontrovertibly clear, but somehow people end up thinking I mean something different.

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xyz48B Veteran

xyz48B

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I don’t pay deposits either. I said somewhere in this thread (I think) I offered to help out. I guess I was wondering if I’m just soft because he’s made me feel comfortable from the interactions we have. And if I should just stick with the arrangements as is. He didn’t ask for a deposit per se. He mentioned financial stress. My analytical mind says, “Of course that’s a hint,” but it was an overt deposit demand. 

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rvwnsd Grand Master

rvwnsd

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1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

...I said somewhere in this thread (I think) I offered to help out...

You did. In the first post, IIRC.

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

...I guess I was wondering if I’m just soft because he’s made me feel comfortable from the interactions we have. And if I should just stick with the arrangements as is...

I wouldn't say you are "soft." I'd say you are trying to do a good deed. However, "good deeds" can come back to bite us. The loss of the money would be bad enough, but kicking yourself (which you would do, just as we all would) is IMO even worse and takes longer to wear off.

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

...And if I should just stick with the arrangements as is...

Stick to the original arrangement. (You pay him when you see him).

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

...He didn’t ask for a deposit per se. He mentioned financial stress. My analytical mind says, “Of course that’s a hint,” but it was an overt deposit demand. 

This reminds me of

Who Has Your Donor's Ear? - Masterworks

Not wanting to imply being analytical equates to "devil" Fred, let's just say we have "analytical" @xyz48B and "softie" @xyz48B.  Listen to "analytical" @xyz48B.

 

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PapaTony Veteran

+ PapaTony

Posted
Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I despair of that a lot. Sometimes I write things that in my opinion are incontrovertibly clear, but somehow people end up thinking I mean something different.

I think your OP regarding daily texting was perfectly clear. Others, not paying attention, went off on tangents until @azdr0710stepped in to correct “them”

Edited by PapaTony
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